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is tickling cheating?
- Thread starter jd58
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Mark Diplock
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Difficult to answer that one. I think that your wife might find it cheating in her eyes. She might think ( even if she tills you otherwise ) that you've lost interest in her. I dont know how open about your tickling need she is, but have you tried to tell her how much you want to tickle someone? She might suprise you.jd58 said:
"cheating" is a subjective term that means different things to different people. To some, kissing is "cheating." We've seen threads like this before. You'll find those that regard tickling as a sexual act will say yes, it's cheating; while those that don't regard tickling as sexual will see it isn't cheating.
I don't regard tickling as a sexual act and therefore don't regard it as cheating.
I don't regard tickling as a sexual act and therefore don't regard it as cheating.
tulipangel
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I don't think it is but my BF thinks if I got to lunch or have coffee with another man its cheating..... Eh!
The question was asked,"Is tickling cheating?"
I don't date men that are not willing to tickle me senseless. I think it's easier in a way for a woman lee to find a partner than it is for a man ler to find a partner. A woman lee can say,"I want you to tickle me. Most men I've encountered obliged my request because I wanted to be tickled, not tickle them. For a man, saying "I want to blindfold you, suck your toes, make you laugh and scream like crazy, and tickle your feet until I'm satisfied" can feel embarrassing because it may feel scary to reveal your passion. Maybe she hasn't been completely open to what she would secretly like you to do to her either. I'm willing to bet that you don't know of certain desires she may keep from you.
If you have interest in satisfying your ticking passion with her, it's time to have a talk. NOT IN THE BEDROOM. Start out by telling her all the things she does that make you happy. Focus on the positive. Tell her she's beautiful and sexy. Gently ask what you can do to her sexually that she has desires for. If she doesn't answer right away, give her time to think about it. When nothing comes to mind for her and it's been a minute or so,
take her to the bedroom, lay her out gently, and tell her you want to worship her body. Kiss her belly and then tickle gently. As you strip her down, tickle her as the clothes come off. Play with her gently. Start there.
Don't turn away from her and go chasing lots of other women in a desperate hunt for a new partner. She will sense you withdrawing from her. She may be more willing if you don't tackle her like a football player. Good luck to you. 😱
I don't date men that are not willing to tickle me senseless. I think it's easier in a way for a woman lee to find a partner than it is for a man ler to find a partner. A woman lee can say,"I want you to tickle me. Most men I've encountered obliged my request because I wanted to be tickled, not tickle them. For a man, saying "I want to blindfold you, suck your toes, make you laugh and scream like crazy, and tickle your feet until I'm satisfied" can feel embarrassing because it may feel scary to reveal your passion. Maybe she hasn't been completely open to what she would secretly like you to do to her either. I'm willing to bet that you don't know of certain desires she may keep from you.
If you have interest in satisfying your ticking passion with her, it's time to have a talk. NOT IN THE BEDROOM. Start out by telling her all the things she does that make you happy. Focus on the positive. Tell her she's beautiful and sexy. Gently ask what you can do to her sexually that she has desires for. If she doesn't answer right away, give her time to think about it. When nothing comes to mind for her and it's been a minute or so,
take her to the bedroom, lay her out gently, and tell her you want to worship her body. Kiss her belly and then tickle gently. As you strip her down, tickle her as the clothes come off. Play with her gently. Start there.
Don't turn away from her and go chasing lots of other women in a desperate hunt for a new partner. She will sense you withdrawing from her. She may be more willing if you don't tackle her like a football player. Good luck to you. 😱
Not to be argumentative or anything, but does that really seem fair to you? That the spouse defines what is cheating and what isn't? What if she/he decides that talking to a someone in a chatroom is cheating? Would that obligate one to abide by such a ruling?Strider said:
For me, I go be another process entirely. If I want to know whether or not an action constitutes a breach of marital trust, I simply examine how'd I'd feel myself if the situation were reversed. Let's say my wife had a fetish that I didn't share like....I dunno...say....pantyhose foot sucking. How would I feel if she went to gatherings and had her feet sucked by other guys. In all honesty, I wouldn't care as long as there was no romance or sex involved. All she'd have to do is promise me that and I'd have no problems trusting her to keep her word. So, I don't feel that going to gatherings and being tickled is cheating. Now, it helps that my wife is okay with it, but for me that's not the deciding factor.
SlaverTickler
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Sorta...
If tickling turns you on then it is a sexual act. In a way it is cheating. I wouldn't if I were you, but it's your call. If I were in your place I would explain to my wife how erotic tickling is, and how much of a turn on it is. I don't understand how so many tickle fetishest can end up married to people who aren't into it.
If tickling turns you on then it is a sexual act. In a way it is cheating. I wouldn't if I were you, but it's your call. If I were in your place I would explain to my wife how erotic tickling is, and how much of a turn on it is. I don't understand how so many tickle fetishest can end up married to people who aren't into it.
LindyHopper
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Fair or unfair, it is your spouse's definition of cheating that counts. If we all say it's okay, but she thinks it isn't, then you're busted - it doesn't matter if we, or you, think she's being unreasonable.
I would hope that you and your spouse's definition of "cheating" is mutually agreed upon. It's as simple as describing a hypothetical situation to her (about you meeting someone to tickle them, no sex involved), and asking her how she would feel.
As far as I'm concerned, the key element in cheating isn't the act - it's the deception. I don't mind my husband doing all manner of "inappropriate" things with another woman (I might even help!
), but if I found out that he was hiding someone from me, even if it was just for cuddles, I would be hurt. I would wonder why he felt he needed to hide it. And as with so many things, the cover-up would be more damaging than the crime.
Of course, I agree with a few of the other posters that the first thing you should try to do is get your wife into tickling. Try mixing it up with activities that she finds pleasurable, and getting into it very gradually. With luck, she'll come around. And if not, she'll at least be closer to understanding what it is that you desire, and if she's unwilling to fulfill that desire for you, she'll probably be closer to letting you get it somewhere else.
I would hope that you and your spouse's definition of "cheating" is mutually agreed upon. It's as simple as describing a hypothetical situation to her (about you meeting someone to tickle them, no sex involved), and asking her how she would feel.
As far as I'm concerned, the key element in cheating isn't the act - it's the deception. I don't mind my husband doing all manner of "inappropriate" things with another woman (I might even help!
), but if I found out that he was hiding someone from me, even if it was just for cuddles, I would be hurt. I would wonder why he felt he needed to hide it. And as with so many things, the cover-up would be more damaging than the crime.Of course, I agree with a few of the other posters that the first thing you should try to do is get your wife into tickling. Try mixing it up with activities that she finds pleasurable, and getting into it very gradually. With luck, she'll come around. And if not, she'll at least be closer to understanding what it is that you desire, and if she's unwilling to fulfill that desire for you, she'll probably be closer to letting you get it somewhere else.
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SlaverTickler said:
It seems to me that many of the folks on this board married before they knew there were other people into it like they were. And now they have to decide how to handle it. There seem to be as many ways to handle it as there are people on this board.
Bagelfather
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Is it cheating
My roommate Starfires summed it up best.
"If you have to lie about it, it's cheating."
My roommate Starfires summed it up best.
"If you have to lie about it, it's cheating."
asutickler
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If you hide it from your spouse, its cheating... Even if you think they wouldn't mind. If they know about it and they're ok with it, then it isn't.
I'd suggest having a talk with your wife about it.
I'd suggest having a talk with your wife about it.
lk70 said:
Thanks lk...some people here think I'm nutzoid for marrying someone not ticklish years ago but I really thought I was quite alone with this tickling thing back in the 80s. It's great to know I'm not but it does present a dilemna...it would be sooo nice to meet a great 'lee for non-sexual play but hard to convince wife that this is on the up-and-up...I think this will eventually come out though.
Excellent topic.
lustfultickler
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My wife knows how much tickling is a turn on for me.
Her words to me after she realized how potent it is for me "I'd better not ever catch you tickling anothere woman's feet".
So of course to egg her on a bit I said "not even you're mom's?"
Her words to me after she realized how potent it is for me "I'd better not ever catch you tickling anothere woman's feet".
So of course to egg her on a bit I said "not even you're mom's?"
Wow... good question.
I suppose it is all in the eye of the beholder.
Tickling is a very intimate thing, it can either be arousing or not. The arousal that is caused can be acted upon or not.
I imagine, in my opinion, when being tickled by someone other than one's mate or spouse, as long as all parties are aware of the goings on and all are in agreement, as long as the private areas are excluded, and as long as no sexual contact (the definitions of which can be agreed upon at the begining of the session) occurs, I see not reason for it to be considered cheating.
If this was not so, then it seems to me NEST wouldn't be the success it seems to be (I say "seems" because I have never experienced it to form an opinion).
I suppose it is all in the eye of the beholder.
Tickling is a very intimate thing, it can either be arousing or not. The arousal that is caused can be acted upon or not.
I imagine, in my opinion, when being tickled by someone other than one's mate or spouse, as long as all parties are aware of the goings on and all are in agreement, as long as the private areas are excluded, and as long as no sexual contact (the definitions of which can be agreed upon at the begining of the session) occurs, I see not reason for it to be considered cheating.
If this was not so, then it seems to me NEST wouldn't be the success it seems to be (I say "seems" because I have never experienced it to form an opinion).
Personally, this is my view. For most of us on this board, I'm not saying everyone, because there are exceptions to the rule, of course, but most, we view tickling as something sexual, or something that stimulates us. Therefore, if we have a partner, and are engaging in something that stimulates us,with someone other than our partner, it is in fact cheating, in my view. Cheating doesnt have to be the act of intercourse to be cheating, it can be kissing, or any act that arouses us sexually.
For example, if I had a wife who I knew was aroused by tickling, and especially since I am aroused by tickling, I know I wouldn't like it to see her tickled by someone else, unless, for instance, it was at an organized gathering, like NEST, where the conditions were spelled out ahead of time, and many people were there. I have a strong feeling that if I married someone into tickling, she wouldnt like it if I was tickled by another woman. Heck, I know people who consider cyber tickling with another person, besides your significant other, to be cheating.
To return to the point of the thread, yes, in my view, tickling is cheating, for the reasons I listed above.
Mitch
For example, if I had a wife who I knew was aroused by tickling, and especially since I am aroused by tickling, I know I wouldn't like it to see her tickled by someone else, unless, for instance, it was at an organized gathering, like NEST, where the conditions were spelled out ahead of time, and many people were there. I have a strong feeling that if I married someone into tickling, she wouldnt like it if I was tickled by another woman. Heck, I know people who consider cyber tickling with another person, besides your significant other, to be cheating.
To return to the point of the thread, yes, in my view, tickling is cheating, for the reasons I listed above.
Mitch
just my opinion
I have to say my husband and I don't feel it is cheating, but, I wouldn't do that with out discussing it with him first and him knowing exactly what was going on. I agree that if you have to hide it, there is quilt and that is something you need to consider. Why do you feel quilty? I would definatley talk to her , in my opinion, Love comes before a 2-3 hour tickle session, love is forever if loved right.
Classy
I have to say my husband and I don't feel it is cheating, but, I wouldn't do that with out discussing it with him first and him knowing exactly what was going on. I agree that if you have to hide it, there is quilt and that is something you need to consider. Why do you feel quilty? I would definatley talk to her , in my opinion, Love comes before a 2-3 hour tickle session, love is forever if loved right.
Classy
