Jessies girl syndrome

[Cosmo_ac]

I'm just wondering if anybody else has had something like this happen to them. I have a friend, and maybe 2-3 months ago he started dating this girl, and to be honest, i like her. A lot.

If it was just physical, it wouldn't be a big deal. However, it seems that on a lot of things, we just seem to click. We're read a lot of the same books, like the same movies, enjoy the same interests. It seems like i have more in common with her then her boyfriend.

Now, i have no intentions of intruding. The guy has had to deal with some relationship crap, and i'm happy he's found a girl that he's getting allong well with. Still though, whenever they are over, it always seems, and not by my instigations all the time, that we end up hanging out together and talking about things. Part of it, i think is because she wants to be liked by his friends, and as i said, we seem to click on a lot of same interests, so it's possible that she just feels more comfortable with me then the others. Still though, i can't help but feel attracted to her. I've tried to keep some distance between us, by limiting my going out with them, but i was asked not to long ago to go on a camping trip with them and a few friends, and after some decision accepted. I don't think i'll have trouble controlling myself, but i'd be lying if i said it wasn't difficult being just around her at times. It's one of those cases you wish to fuck you had met her just a bit before the other guy, know what i mean?

Has anybody else had to deal with something like this?

 

[SlaverTickler]

Know can't say I have had that situation. When I read the title to the thread I thought you meant you were hook on the old Springfield song.

 

[Flatfoot]

I've been in this situation, and long story short, I'm married to the woman. My situation happened to work out very well, but the whole process was... awkward, and in some instances painful for everyone involved.

If you're concerned about your friend's well-being, be very wary. She could (keyword: COULD) actually be sending you signals that she IS interested in you, but trying to be subtle about it. Many bolder women will display interest in the things a guy she likes is into. I'm not saying that she doesn't really share your interests, but she could (keyword: COULD) be making it a point to display them. If you're anything like me, you're oblivious to when a woman is flirting with you. My personal recommendation is to maintain some sort of a friendly distance from her, and possibly him. I know that's vague, but even if the two of you DO really click, and the two of them aren't going to work out, let that relationship steer it's proper course so that he doesn't resent you, thinking you "stole" her from him. Of course, hypothetically down the road, he could end up resenting you anyway, if she IS interested in you, and decides to tell him that she wants to leave him to pursue you, whether or not you end up doing anything with her. I don't know how close you and your friend are, but if you really think something serious could happen, I'd recommend finding other ways to keep busy. I wouldn't say to make it obvious that you're avoiding them, but if it's possible and reasonable, find more time to hang out with other friends for a bit. If you don't think they're gonna work out, you don't wanna be caught in the aftermath.

 

[Fangz]

It's happened to me sure. What helps me is to remember that love and dating are a crock of shit and only serve to leave you with bitter memories whether the relationship was successful, a failure or somewhere in between. It's too bad that Tom Leykis doesn't have his radio show anymore because on thursdays he taught his "Leykis 101" course and it's something I think is very beneficial.

 

[MrMacphisto]

It's a fairly common occurrence for me. I mean, it's not like it really affects my life that much, but yeah, occasionally, I'll become friends with a girl who I like a lot but who ends up dating a friend. There are other occasions where I'll be friends with a guy for a long time and he'll date a girl that I really click with as well.

Either way, I've never acted on these feelings, which is the important part. If nothing else, you just learn to be friends with these girls without taking it any further, because that would just screw things up.

Still, I know how you feel. My one word of advice is that if it gets to be too much for you to deal with, just put some distance between her and you. You can do this without negatively affecting the friendship, but it does require being a bit clever and discrete.

Admittedly, there has been one or two times where I literally had to stop hanging out with the girl because of the situation, but that's pretty rare.