When you use the term "curse" please understand that individuals will see that type of word choice in a negative light. Maybe if you were to be specific with regards to why you view this fetish this way, others would be more accepting and understanding to your point of view. If you can't explain why, then others will see what you write as an empty statement, as if there is no subsistence to your overall message. Also when you state, "...it would just be cool if people on here could accept that this fetish is a fucking curse to a lot of people...", that implies you're speaking for the majority and could be taken as a "ballsy" move on your part. It also comes off as pretentious and loathsome. We are all gathered on this forum for one reason or another, but the unifying position we share is this fetish. From the posts I've read people are very thankful, as am I, that this site exists because many individuals felt alone due to this fetish, so when you come around and talk negatively about the aspect which brings us together as a community, people will become defensive as you have seen thus far. Just some food for thought. I hope you have a fantastic day.
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Killing a fetish
- Thread starter ike4
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When you use the term "curse" please understand that individuals will see that type of word choice in a negative light. Maybe if you were to be specific with regards to why you view this fetish this way, others would be more accepting and understanding to your point of view. If you can't explain why, then others will see what you write as an empty statement, as if there is no subsistence to your overall message. Also when you state, "...it would just be cool if people on here could accept that this fetish is a fucking curse to a lot of people...", that implies you're speaking for the majority and could be taken as a "ballsy" move on your part. It also comes off as pretentious and loathsome. We are all gathered on this forum for one reason or another, but the unifying position we share is this fetish. From the posts I've read people are very thankful, as am I, that this site exists because many individuals felt alone due to this fetish, so when you come around and talk negatively about the aspect which brings us together as a community, people will become defensive as you have seen thus far. Just some food for thought. I hope you have a fantastic day.
Agreed.
The other weird part is how, apparently, there are all these partners who abhor the idea of even engaging with these vanilla kinks. Dunno about you, or anyone else, but when I'm in a sexual relationship, you kinda want to do a lot for my partner.
Thatsecretchord
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To be honest it would be strange if you didn't see the word curse as negative. It is negative and I meant it to be negative. Because my point was a lot of people see the fetish as a negative thing.
And when I say a lot I don't mean the majority. There's hundreds of thousands of us here how do I know what the majority think? I speak for myself. Safest way. Don't put words in my mouth. Cheeky. But I guess I'm just a ballsy guy! Not really sure how that makes me pretentious but I might well be yeah!
Yep we're all gathered here for the fetish. But that don't mean we all love it. As I mentioned earlier some of us are here to try to find like minded people to talk to about something we have no control over.
...my day was lovely thanks...
Thatsecretchord
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This guys sees the world clearly. Everyone listen to this guy!
This came off as pretentious as hell to me. How are you gonna claim to know what a lot of people think / feel and then say you are only speaking for yourself?
After you said you were done speaking?
I mean I see your point that some people may genuinely feel that their fetish is a curse or they have some kind of mental issue that can't allow them to function normally, but there's something wrong there. And I think most people that feel that way, wouldn't continue to come here, at the very least, they wouldn't post something like this on a site that is made to cater to people that enjoy tickling.
It's also kinda weird that you would defend someone who posts something that can only end in pissing people off by the way it was worded, but then respond so sarcastically to another poster who is respectfully trying to explain how you came across (since it seemed from previous posts that you didn't mean to offend anyone).
Thatsecretchord
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I would class a hundred people to be a lot. Out of the hundreds of thousands of people here chances are a lot of people feel that way. The op did, I do and so do a few others who have posted in this thread but your right I shouldn't speak for others and I don't really want to to be honest.
And I said "this is me officially trying to end it" doesn't mean I won't reply when I think I need to.
Maybe curse was the wrong word because I defiantly didn't mean "mental illness that doesn't allow them to function normally". I more meant...pain in the arse??
First of all I am not putting words in your mouth and maybe you should be more specific so there is no room for error. Loose statements leave room for interpretation and as you being so "cheeky" I'd assume you'd know better than that. I wouldn't say you're pretentious, but instead you're bemoaning and carping about the fact that the women you choose to be with are taken aback by your fetish. AnnieHall put it beautifully,
"Sometime's when people say they can never find, or almost never find, a potential partner that would be willing to indulge them, I wonder what they're approach to bringing up the subject of tickling sounds like."
Instead of blaming your fetish you should observe how you interact with the opposite sex with regards to tickling. A fetish may put certain individuals off, but not all.
How many of those accounts are duplicates or dummy accounts or accounts that have never made a post?
All that can be accounted for is the spoken majority, and the spoken majority aren't here because they feel this is something they can't control, or that it's a curse, or something they need to learn to deal with going forward.
Thatsecretchord
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So now I'm not pretentious? I even agreed when you said I am! But phew good to know I'm not. Really learning a lot about myself here...is it bemoaning and carping to voice my opinion? Only if it clashes with yours or at all times?
I've been with girls who have indulged the fetish and I've never really had a problem talking to girls about things like that and to be honest I'm not really sure how we got from defending the op to me being unable to interact with the opposite sex but there you go. Ill put it on my list of problems along with being pretentious. Or not. Maybe ill wait for another one of you guys that know me so well to tell me what my problems are again...
I was arguing your point of view in this thread, SecretChord, not your feelings toward your own relationship with the fetish. Based on your posts here, it didn't occur to me that you would be a person that sees this fetish as a 'curse' or 'wrong'.
"Pain in the ass" I guess I can understand. The whole idea that you are different from others with regards to bedroom activities can cause anxiety and that anxiety can make it difficult to communicate your needs, however strange they may feel/seem. But that anxiety can also cause people to not think / see things clearly and make it even more difficult to communicate. A viscous cycle.
All I'm saying is that having this fetish doesn't have to be a curse, a pain in the ass, whatever. You can find someone willing to indulge, even find someone that enjoys it. You can find satisfaction with regards to this kink. It may not always be easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than being unhappy or being in a relationship where your needs are not met.
"Pain in the ass" I guess I can understand. The whole idea that you are different from others with regards to bedroom activities can cause anxiety and that anxiety can make it difficult to communicate your needs, however strange they may feel/seem. But that anxiety can also cause people to not think / see things clearly and make it even more difficult to communicate. A viscous cycle.
All I'm saying is that having this fetish doesn't have to be a curse, a pain in the ass, whatever. You can find someone willing to indulge, even find someone that enjoys it. You can find satisfaction with regards to this kink. It may not always be easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than being unhappy or being in a relationship where your needs are not met.
Thatsecretchord
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These are all good points and to be honest I think some things have been lost or at least warped in translation here. I don't hate this fetish most of the time. I would get rid of it if I could but in general I'm very at ease with myself and there are very few things in this world I worry about. When I started posting in this thread it was only to express disapointment that people who don't embrace this fetish are met with open disdain by some people here. I don't think it should be like that but it seems I'm in the minority there. And yeah I think I said earlier if you can find someone to enjoy it with then fack that's cool but a lot of us probably never will and will have to at least compromise with the one were with. I've been in very fulfilling relationships where Iv never felt my needs were not being met. Good sex doesn't start and finish with tickling for me.
Just to reiterate I really don't see this fetish as wrong and I did say sometimes I love it but I don't think it makes someone our enemy if they don't enjoy having the fetish.
I never said you were pretentious. I said, "It also comes off as pretentious and loathsome". I.E. how people may perceive your statement.
Definition of Bemoaning: Express discontent or sorrow over (something)
Definition of Carp: Complain or find fault continually, typically about trivial matters.
Both are verbs as well if you were wondering. I don't understand your hostility, my first post was actually very friendly and informative from an outside perspective. I find it entertaining how you elude the main directive of the statements being made and how you're picking and choosing from said statements to retort in a manner which, in my opinion, is a bit childish and immature. My evidence goes as follows, "So now I'm not pretentious? I even agreed when you said I am! But phew good to know I'm not. Really learning a lot about myself here...", "Ill put it on my list of problems along with being pretentious.", and "Maybe ill wait for another one of you guys that know me so well to tell me what my problems are again...". At first I was attempting to have an intelligent conversation/debate, but now you've digressed to the point of 9th grade locker room banter. You're obviously not expressing the desire communicate in such a way that we may express both opinions and learn from the opposing side.
Apparently it's easier to kill a fetish (ok, sublimate,... killing it ain't possible) than for this thread to die a natural death. When the discussion leaves the original topic in the dust, and just degenerates into "arguing about your arguing," it's time to find better uses for your time.
Also, did you all know that the word curse comes from late Old English curs "a prayer that evil or harm befall one," of uncertain origin, perhaps from Old French curuz "anger," or Latin cursus "course." Connection with cross is unlikely. No similar word exists in Germanic, Romance, or Celtic. Curses as a histrionic exclamation is from 1885. The curse "menstruation" is from 1930. Curse of Scotland, the 9 of diamonds in cards, is attested from 1791, but the origin is obscure.
I thought that was interesting.
I thought that was interesting.
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Thatsecretchord
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K I'm not doing this. Iv seen too many of these threads on here and now I appear to be in one. Lets just say its very hard to come across how you mean to on here and this is all getting far too hostile. Lets all go and be productive somewhere.
Love and hugs x
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It never hurts to learn something new.
Yeah,... that's true,...... but starting right now I'm gonna try to 'un-learn' a couple of things,...... Now where's that corkscrew?
It's 8pm somewhere.
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Jagermeistered
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Jagermeistered
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Fuckin' wine drinkers...
Haha. 8pm, the best time to get drunk.
Who? Me? I drink Scotch and Cream Sherry,..... but I like a chaser with body. And let's not overlook anti-oxidants, hmm?
