*sigh* why is it always one of those things when people try to be rational and both sided about a debate it becomes a "men cant understand because they can't be violated!" type thing? is this like the default sheild for certain women when their arguments start failing to rally likewise support? why the crap does everything have to be a gender thing? why not just person to person thing?
ive been into bondage and ive gotten unintentionally bruised quite a few times. its part of the fun of the randomness in my opinion, but most people can conceed that mistakes happen!
and it may very well be legitimate, i simply pointed out the possibility that it was not true to the peopel screaming for his head without knowing one way or the other! the fact is, you are a forum goer same as anyone else, unless people know eachother in person, you're up for lies from any end of the game. that's just the way it is when you chose to interact with people online.
that being said, plenty of peopel here like to come just to look at the pics and clips. so outting someone for something that hasnt been proven, or established, or might have just been a mistake or one time offense without realization, is just being witch trialish and rather high school gossip girl cliquie.
if its really just a matter of keeping other people safe, then they can come to you if they have something planned around your area and they can mention (as long as its consensual) who their potential partner is, if its a match, you can warn them about what happened. but to just spill the guys name to anyone who asks whether on a post or through talk of PMs is just going to make sure he cant come within a mile of here without getting shit. is that really going to help things? is this REALLY about keeping other people safe or is this about revenge because you feel violated?
question why you do things in response to things. and all those out for blood here, are you jsut agnry because soemthing like this happened to you once and you want revenge for that vicariously through outting this person?
keeping a theif from getting legitimate work because he stole something once, doesnt help anyone. it keeps him from the straight and narrow path and just ups the likihood he's going to steal again, giving him no choice anymore since he cant do it right. this is no different. if this guy can't get conseual play anymore because he messed up one time, then might do even more underhanded things out of necessity. sometimes forgivness and a warning does better than the chair for a first offense, and keeps thigns from becoming a serial situation.
too many bad things can come from this "LETS OUT HIM!" wave. the best thing to do would be to get the tape (if there even IS one! cuz he could have just been lying about it!) back, and warn him that if you hear even a hint of someone in your area being violated by him, that you will turn the evidence into the police and then out him.
people make mistakes, everyone deserves a second chance. i dont get where this mentality of "someone did soemthing wrong, so tell everyone everywhere to keep them safe so they can ostricize him and he can never be the same!" metnality comes from. its ridiculous when you think about it. how would any of you feel, the ones out for blood, how would you feel if you made a mistake and no one anywhere would forgive you for it?
, you would understand my dilemma. And yes, I will continue to discuss this privately with the many females who have contacted me because they can relate to what has happened. 
