Lying Jerk Bruised Me (Re: trust was violated)

[kate_bbw_lee]

(see my previous posting)
As if it wasn't bad enough that I was secretly recorded without my consent, I woke up the next day with BRUISES. I have purple bruises up and down my ribs on both my right and left sides. I have been into TK with bondage since I was 16 years old and this is the first time that a total a-hole liar hurt me and bruised me because he has no clue how to tickle ribs.

Why poke and jab so hard? It makes no sense.

Ladies -- beware of this jerk. Send me a message and I'll give you his TMF screen name

 

[TicklingIsLife]

i'm not a lady but....

I WANNA KNOW WHO THIS JERK IS


🙂

 

[TicklesFemales]

Kate

Yes I want to know who this jerk is too. We all want to know, maybe if you post his screen name in here he will leave this forum and never return to it.

TicklesFemales

 

[meangry]

Fuck going behind the back door and whispering names.

BDSM is built on a foundation of trust. If there is a possibility that this person might get involved with others, it is your duty to allow people to know who this person is publically.

Whispering the name isn't impactful at all.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Please step cautiously here

This was a personal arrangement between you and another individual, and has nothing to do with the forum. As bad as the situation is, dragging him out publicly here may not be in anyone’s best interest.

 

[ticklesaurus]

why do people allow themselves to be tied up when first meeting someone....you know......when it is only you and that person.People will be whoever they think you want them to be on the computer.You really need to meet and build up a level of trust,because once you're tied down,thats it,you are at their mercy.I know this guy was wrong in what he did,but common sense really needs to be used.Have a fun time,but think about your safety and well-being.

 

[mustangtickler]

Ok, Going to throw out my PTSD sufferer card once again. The guy did something completely wrong. Sounds to me like he still feels like he is operating under some kind of anonymity and he doesent think you know who he really is. Is that true? If it were my wife in that situation... and its not... One person would be in the hospital and one person would be in jail. Buuuut, thats why ppl with PTSD shouldnt handle things like this.

Definately wrong what he did. I am a believer in Karma as well. Im sure that if this individual piece of donkey shit continues in this manner he'll accidentally find himself in a crowd of BDSM guys that just want to ram him up his lying ass. Just hope that an even BIGGER jerk meets this jerk. 😀 I know it probly doesent help, but I feel that any way you wish to pursue this will be the correct way. Hell hath no fury that of a woman scorned.
revenge is a dish best served cold.

My condolences
And.. if you wish, HAPPY HUNTING!!

 

[meangry]

This was a personal arrangement between you and another individual, and has nothing to do with the forum. As bad as the situation is, dragging him out publicly here may not be in anyone’s best interest.

I'm not promoting vigilantism.

I am promoting knowledge so someone else doesn't get themselves in the same situation.

If you are against something as fundamental as that, then, hopefully it isn't someone you care about.

 

[Lttg]

I'm not promoting vigilantism.

I am promoting knowledge so someone else doesn't get themselves in the same situation.

If you are against something as fundamental as that, then, hopefully it isn't someone you care about.

This is a legal case and posting details about it on here can harm their legal defence. The way to deal with this is to use official channels and the proper authorities. Not plaster his name over the forums so that people can "not invite him to their parties".

As always, when meeting anyone off of the internet, show care and attention and make sure that every single matter is discussed and agreed upon beforehand. If at any point you do not feel safe and secure, walk away. Never allow yourself to be put in a position where you are vulnerable and can have your trust violated unless you are 100% sure about that person.

It's doing these things that will prevent bad experiances like this from happening again, not a witchhunt on 1 single forum member.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

I'm not promoting vigilantism.

I am promoting knowledge so someone else doesn't get themselves in the same situation.

If you are against something as fundamental as that, then, hopefully it isn't someone you care about.

The problem here is any name can be thrown out with no means of corroborating the claim. Not only that, unless this individual has made public his picture and/or true name, what good does it do to call out a screen name? That same individual can be behind any number of other screen names, so no one is protected from future incidents.

I don’t believe the forum should be exploited as a means to deal with private matters.

 

[SlaverTickler]

As a male member of the forum...

Ths guy offends me. Their is never an excuse to bruise someone when you tickle them. Tickling is supose to be erotic and soft. Hurting someone isn't even a consideration. I'm not big on intergender violence but if the Vixens of the forum were to kick his ass I wouldn't shed one fucking tear over it.

 

[mustangtickler]

So heres an idea. If you're a female 'Lee in the state of PA or surrounding areas, PUSH THE RED BUTTON! Verify on the forum whether or not this guy is legit or not. The fact that it happened to you tells me that its probably not the first time he's done this.

Definately, next time I would make sure that you are not alone with a new 'Ler... Especially a married couple who are both into it, the husband should at least be able to intervene if necessary. ESPECIALLY if you dont know the guy well, or he is operating somewhat anonymously.

I would be curious to hear your husband's opinion on the events. I would imagine his are not far from my own sentiments.

 

[BorisandNatasha]

Again, this person who did this to you should be made known so he does not do this to others.

Boris

 

[Oddjob0226]

Those of us who attend gatherings want to know this information. Those of us who host gatherings (I'll be back someday!) absolutely need the info as to who this was.

 

[BorisandNatasha]

Those of us who attend gatherings want to know this information. Those of us who host gatherings (I'll be back someday!) absolutely need the info as to who this was.

Good point.
Even though Natasha and I have yet to host or attend, we would want this info in the event we do.


Boris

 

[Adam]

I'm actually with the crowd that says out the jerk. Not every female who could potentially fall victim to this guy is going to see this post and PM you for his name. Then again, I suppose not every potential victim would actually read this post... but, ah, to hell with him.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Those of us who attend gatherings want to know this information. Those of us who host gatherings (I'll be back someday!) absolutely need the info as to who this was.

I am begining to wonder if this isn't just some sort of gossip myself. I understand that she was video taped with out concent (that is wrong of course) but if this guy hurt you why go about it by wispering it to other female members of the forum, and not tell everyone flat out. Then atleast he could comeforward and try to explain why. Not that their is any exuse for filming a lee with out his or her knowledge, or hurting someone. Even the law say a person is aloud to face their acuser. I say spill it, or this thread should be removed.

 

[Oddjob0226]

If this happend then the info needs to be out there. Maybe the guy is really new to this and doesn't realize how wrong he was.... he just thought he was making a kinky thing kinker. Being "naughty". He can use this expereince to learn and grow with the community.

If he really knew what he was doing, though, that's different. Worse. Those who put on gatherings need to know these things - and who causes them - to protect our guests. I've been out of it for a bit, but I still know that you have to keep your guests safe and comfortable.

I know there have been gatherings where one guy got dangerously drunk, someone with an underage sex crime conviction tried to attend an event & I've had a guest sign up for a room-mate then back out 6 days before the event without paying a deposit.... sticking the single mom attending her first gathering with the full hotel bill and no reliable transportation (other hosts know the identity of this person & take their own steps in planning thier events). I know a few attendees who have been asked to sit out of gatherings for awhile (and later welcomed back), and others who have had their trust violated.

If we don't police ourselves, the REAL police will have to come in and do their thing. We don't want that.

None of this secret stuff. If it was bad enough, if we are bothering to communicate about it at all, this is info that needs to be shared.

 

[nylonsnfeet]

Not good at all :-(

My 1st line of thought is to "out" this person for the safety of others.
Have you tried contacting this person & aired your "beefs"? I.e : as the husband.." Iam upset that you recorded without approval & you left bruises." Perhaps they may apologize.
On the other hand if they come back as "un-apologetic" then a "warnig" should be put out.
If this is his "style" of ler', then he should seek appropiate partners, perhaps bdsm
The scary part if it is a "lack of control", then an issue that needs attention!

 

[tkrunner]

Intentional or not?

Was the guy trying to hurt you, or was this his first time ir something. If it was an accident, then go easy on the guy. If it was intentional to hurt you in anyway, then that is another issue that needs to be delt with. Maybe the guy just needs to learn how to properly tickle someone. I'm just saying don't jump to conclusions. The fact that he recorded it was wrong on the other hand.

 

[FeatherFeet]

people really love the drama and people really love to blame someone who did soemthing wrong for everything.

the dude might not have meant to bruise you at all and probably didn't. people get accidently bruised during bondage play all the time. if he didnt do the previous action there would have been no complaint at all about it probably.

people really are out to out someone even though they have no idea why he did it, even if he DID do it, and if he even realized what he did was wrong.

grow up people. this forum acts like an angry mob wanting to lynch someone just by a single accusation with no back up, no evidence, no claim on anything.

it is psosible the OP is doing this for attention you know. not saying she is, but its possible. it is possible that ALOT of things are misread or misconcluded or misconstrude but you'd have someone be banned or outed from the community just by that?

for God's sake.

 

[BorisandNatasha]

people really love the drama and people really love to blame someone who did soemthing wrong for everything.

the dude might not have meant to bruise you at all and probably didn't. people get accidently bruised during bondage play all the time. if he didnt do the previous action there would have been no complaint at all about it probably.

people really are out to out someone even though they have no idea why he did it, even if he DID do it, and if he even realized what he did was wrong.

grow up people. this forum acts like an angry mob wanting to lynch someone just by a single accusation with no back up, no evidence, no claim on anything.

it is psosible the OP is doing this for attention you know. not saying she is, but its possible. it is possible that ALOT of things are misread or misconcluded or misconstrude but you'd have someone be banned or outed from the community just by that?

for God's sake.

I agree with the bruising part. Some people bruise easier than others and sometimes ticklers tend to leave a bruise and tickle a bit too hard and purely unintentionally but the recording without knowledge or permission was the wrong part here. That was not cool.

Boris

 

[FeatherFeet]

I agree with the bruising part. Some people bruise easier than others and sometimes ticklers tend to leave a bruise and tickle a bit too hard and purely unintentionally but the recording without knowledge or permission was the wrong part here. That was not cool.

Boris

i never said it was cool or right.

but we dont know for one if the guy even DID it. HE could have been lying, or the poster here could have been lying. or something could have been misunderstood or alot of other possiblities. number two, if he did do it, he might not have known how serious a thing it was and if he found out, might never do it again.

but people here are clamoring for a witch trial like mindset of shutting this guy out of all future forums and play and everything because of something that he is suspected of. there is no proof, there is no knowledge of intentions, or anything. you could be punishing someone for no reason at all and they'd never know it because they're too intent on outting someone.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I want to repeat, having just posted it in the other thread on this subject, that I don't think this is the place for outing people who have allegedly done things wrong.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I think the most important conclusion to draw from all this is being more careful about whom you play with. You should get to know people first and make play dates second, and you should make sure you truly have the relationship of trust before any play takes place. This guy clearly lacked respect for you, and the fact that he thought your husband would be interested in the video shows that he thought he and your husband, together, had the same relationship with you that a bunch of high school juniors in the locker room have with the girls they talk about in crude sexual terms. The question to ask yourself is, were there any warning signs in his early behavior of his lack of respect? In any event, it's a good case for getting to know prospective play partners better in advance of play.

I think legal action is usually more trouble than it's worth, and I see that at least one practicing attorney says essentially the same thing. You can safely tell your tickling friends who he is, but I'd let it go at that. I think it's a fact of life that there are people out there who don't know, or don't want to know, proper play etiquette, and the basic answer to that problem is just really careful screening.