Might loose job for tickling

[Mark Diplock]

Just seen this.

I know everyone has offered some brillant advice to you. But i wanted to post anyway. So if any of this is repeated then it just means that a few of us are on the same page about this.

For those who remember, i did the tickling at work thing with a co worker. She was friendly about it and i was lucky enough to get away with it to be honest. She and i are still friends.

But what i did then could have gone the other way and ended with me in serious trouble. In your shoes, i'd do the apology thing, both with the boss's about what you said before.
I'd apologise to the girl by the same e-mail and explain that you did'nt mean to offend her. Then if you get a chance to, do it in person too.

( now that thats out of the way though...knowing how much trouble you may be in. Was she worth the trouble? Is she pretty and does she look ticklish?... In the TMF you can talk about tickling your co worker fantasies all you like without repercussion. In the outside world however... as you are finding out.. it can be very different. )

Hope things get sorted out for you, and it ends ok. Good luck.

Mark..

 

[bellystrokes]

First of all, I hope this all ends happily, I really do. I don't believe you did anything with malicious intent, but I do think you have displayed poor judgment more than once here. But hey, we all hit bumps on the road and have better travel in the future because of them. Best wishes to you.

But this thread has some deja vu aspects of it:

A few weeks ago there was a thread (which I was an active participant) re: a student wanting advice on how to position his teacher so he could tickle her. Most people advised the young man to forget it and find friends to play with (myself included). Some even mentioned that he could be finding himself in big trouble, being accused of sexual harassment, etc. That is when others popped in with comments such as "oh that would never happen; tickling is innocent, go for it," etc etc. Oy!!!!!

Plus how many times have women from this forum who are into this fetish complain and/or leave due to messages they received. If tmf ladies can get freaked out, so can women on myspace, in your office, down the street, etc.

In paraphrasing Mils here: Lots of ticklish women and many of them not your co-worker.

.

 

[mabus]

But THIS need to be in it's own thread.

Let me define your situation differently. You e-mailed a girl you worked with, after work hours, on your computer.
You told her you were GAY. You went to work the next day, and faced a pissed off boss and HR gang. They told you because of what you said, you're fired.

Boy, that would make the CBS Evening News!

I know that you're not gay, but that's basically what happened - you didn't tell her you wanted to tickle HER, you didn't ask HER to tickle YOU, you didn't say anything perverted (they think so, but who cares...) Some paper-thin skinned people think telling them they're new hair-do "looks nice" is sexual harrassment.

YES, YOU WILL BE FIRED.
YES, YOU HAVE TO SUE.

You don't have a choice. Because of what that girl did to you, you now have to spend the rest of your life explaining how you got fired from a job after 5 years. Yes, every application I have ever filled out wants to know why you got fired from any job, and it's perfectly logical, and legal, and obvious that they ask a new employee that. And No, it's not right what happened to you.
They will be in the wrong for firing you, and you HAVE to sue.
Okay, you don't HAVE to, but if a gay guy got fired SIMPLY FOR TELLING SOMEONE, outside of work, that he was gay, everyone would assume he would sue! That's how gays got rights! If everytime a gay guy or girl got fired, and they just put up with it....gays all over America would be homeless and jobless right now. It looks like you got handed a mighty battle, and you have to deal with it. I'm sorry...but you have to fight for your rights. You have to win this. Again, you now have to tell EVERY new boss why you got fired. I'm sure some won't care, but you DO have rights.

Yes, get a lawyer. Go to HandelOnTheLaw.com, they have lawyers listed for every field and every state there. You will probably need a discrimination laywer or workplace lawyer....I have NO idea, I've never even been in a courtroom, but I'm making an half-assed, barely-educated assumption.
And yes record EVERYTHING, keep ALL paperwork, collect it all in one place...make copies of EVERYTHING. You're now in a legal situation, and if you don't have every thing recorded and documented and every "T" crossed and "I" dotted, they will cream you in court. You will have to more prepared now than you have ever been in your entire life. You now have to build a case against THEM.

Damn I'm sorry you had to go through with this! But really, you should not lose your job and get a bad reputation over some minor thing like this. I've been told far worse, by people ON the job, and I would never in a million years...not only TELL anyone else, but try to get that person FIRED!
Good luck!

 

[amkes]

Spelling and Grammar errors aside, this is a treasure trove of WRONG....

First, look up "Employment at Will" states...lots of them have very liberal hiring/firing laws....

Next....
Sue HER?
SHE Started this?
She didn't have the right to take it to her employers? That was his reason for knowing her, was that they were co-workers. He didn't know her
otherwise! Of course it's relevant.

Wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong wrong!

I knew this kinda crap would start bubbling up eventually.....

well the employee at will thing only works if they tell you before you start that is what you are and depending on how long he worked for he is not able to be fired without reason. Next I would have to say console a lawyer before Monday. I would be ready to defend yourself on Monday, and get all embarrassment out cause you will need to tell them what it was you trying to... well what ever it was you were trying to do. Not sure where you work but I will say that if you did it out of work and you sent it to her Myspace account. It is none of there business cause you could have met her through there in the first place.

Ok now this is important, did she give you her Myspace name? Cause if so then it is her fault and you can name off plenty of things. In any case they will have to fire you both then. Her for starting it and you for well posting that . plus harassment works both ways and you could clam that this is her way of harassing you because your a male that was showing you were interested or what not. she could have blown it off or said that she didn't care and to leave her alone. there are many things she could have done other then this. If this is your first offense then they will most likely tell you not to do it again or try to transfer you. also if you have more seniority over her then it would be unfair for them to do that to you and they should transfer her if she is no longer feels like she can work around you.

But as I said please console a lawyer if you want to keep your job.

 

[the wiz]

I'm still recovering from outpatient surgery; so i just put the statement down as is. however; wolf, if you have a problem with my grammar and spelling be a real man and PM me.

as for my statement, i have documentation from seminars conducted by ATTORNEYS concerning the proper way to fire someone. over the last 7 years i have took both federal and state courses on how to fire someone specially in at will states.

It is a not true that they can just work up and fire you just because. they can if they given you a grace period usually 90 days. this do not apply in this case; they must show a reason; financial problems with the company, poor work experiences, bad reviews, lateness; they have to have a reason that will stand up in a court.

If you put your request in writing why they fired you they must according to federal law give it to in writing. Check out your rights on Equal Opportunity Employment http://www.eeoc.gov/ . also as I stated before when you go to the meeting they will have no last then 4 people there. You need to bring a tape recorder so you can have a accurate recorder of the meetings.

You stated they came to a previous meeting with pads and pens; the reason why they came in with notepad is any notes taken in a meeting is consider legal documents in a court of law; as long as they have the date; and time. which mean you have a right to them since they will be placed in your employee record.

Federal and State law require employers to show on demand any short comings you had on the job which support them firing you. They are required to show in writing If they given you a verbal warning and how many, written warnings and what steps they took to try and help you to achieve the goals they set in front of you. And the written terminations letter why you was fired.

Please by no means do you take my word or anybody else on this site because most of them (WOLF) have no ideal what they are talk about. It’s a good thing they move the meeting you have all weekend to research with http://www.eeoc.gov/ about your situation. Also you can file any complaints with this organization, they will investigate you complaint and tell you if they had the right or not if you can not afford an attorney.

Wolf if you have a problem with me my email address is [email protected].

 

[Wolf]

Problem?

I'm still recovering from outpatient surgery; so i just put the statement down as is. however; wolf, if you have a problem with my grammar and spelling be a real man and PM me.

as for my statement, i have documentation from seminars conducted by ATTORNEYS concerning the proper way to fire someone. over the last 7 years i have took both federal and state courses on how to fire someone specially in at will states.

It is a not true that they can just work up and fire you just because. they can if they given you a grace period usually 90 days. this do not apply in this case; they must show a reason; financial problems with the company, poor work experiences, bad reviews, lateness; they have to have a reason that will stand up in a court.

If you put your request in writing why they fired you they must according to federal law give it to in writing. Check out your rights on Equal Opportunity Employment http://www.eeoc.gov/ . also as I stated before when you go to the meeting they will have no last then 4 people there. You need to bring a tape recorder so you can have a accurate recorder of the meetings.

You stated they came to a previous meeting with pads and pens; the reason why they came in with notepad is any notes taken in a meeting is consider legal documents in a court of law; as long as they have the date; and time. which mean you have a right to them since they will be placed in your employee record.

Federal and State law require employers to show on demand any short comings you had on the job which support them firing you. They are required to show in writing If they given you a verbal warning and how many, written warnings and what steps they took to try and help you to achieve the goals they set in front of you. And the written terminations letter why you was fired.

Please by no means do you take my word or anybody else on this site because most of them (WOLF) have no ideal what they are talk about. It’s a good thing they move the meeting you have all weekend to research with http://www.eeoc.gov/ about your situation. Also you can file any complaints with this organization, they will investigate you complaint and tell you if they had the right or not if you can not afford an attorney.

Wolf if you have a problem with me my email address is [email protected].

Problem with you? I don't know you.
Problem with your blaming the (for want of a better term) "victim"? Yeah. You neglected to address that, by the way. You can blame the meds, I guess.
Problem with you telling everyone what's what, when I made it clear that the laws VARY from state to state? Yeah.
Problem with someone pulling "facts" out of their rear end and saying I don't know what I'm talking about? Nah....... If'n ya don't know fer sure, make it up, right?


What's this "like a man" BS? You don't get to be wrong in public and then demand it be kept private. You opened your mouth, so to speak. Deal with the repercussions of your opinions. You can't pick and choose. That's part of the original poster's problem. I have no problem with you. Just your opinions, which you're entitled to. Or can't you handle that?

 

[the wiz]

Problem with you? I don't know you.
Problem with your blaming the (for want of a better term) "victim"? Yeah. You neglected to address that, by the way. You can blame the meds, I guess.
Problem with you telling everyone what's what, when I made it clear that the laws VARY from state to state? Yeah.
Problem with someone pulling "facts" out of their rear end and saying I don't know what I'm talking about? Nah....... If'n ya don't know fer sure, make it up, right?


What's this "like a man" BS? You don't get to be wrong in public and then demand it be kept private. You opened your mouth, so to speak. Deal with the repercussions of your opinions. You can't pick and choose. That's part of the original poster's problem. I have no problem with you. Just your opinions, which you're entitled to. Or can't you handle that?

my reply is on it way to your yahoo account.

 

[Babyshambles]

Personally I am indignant!!!

Seriously explore going after them for sexual harrassment. If you had told her that you were gay and this happened, then all concerned would be in big shit. Tell your boss that you've spoken to a lawyer and he's aching to fight this for you (lie, i'm sure it's true anyway). Let all concerned know that you're willing to put things behind you and move on, but any unfair dismissal will cause you to take legal recourse - even if somewhere down the line.

Ask why it is any of their business what you do outside of work hours. However, be careful. You two are colleagues. How did you come to send the message on myspace?

I resigned from a company because I almost got sacked when some guys found out I had a tickling fetish. Best move I made. I'm now in a position to succeed and get rich

Hi there, I am needing some help for any and all members that think they can help me in some way or form. As I might potentially be loosing my job come Friday. See I sent a co-worker a message through myspace not during work time, but on my own personal time, just telling her I like being tickled. Apparently this made her feel uncomfortable, as she ended up printing out the message and presenting it to HR. They tried to talk to me today about it, but I refused as since it was something that occurred outside of work and not during actual work time than it was none of their business. I reluctantly agreed to talk to my boss about it, but then in the middle of our conversation two people from administration and one from HR come in with notepads looking like they want to talk to me. I then said I can't talk or discuss this than leave, I say to my co-workers that I'm leaving for lunch(since it was time for my scheduled lunch) and that I'd be back in an hour if I still had a job left. Well my boss calls me and says that they are going to suspend me for the next two days than I have to come in on Friday morning for an emergency meeting with all parties involved to discuss what happens. Now I'm going to do this, but part of me is worried that I'm just going to get fired or let go. For the record I've been there four years close to five years, have had no prior incidents with HR or strikes against me. The employee who was offended is new and I don't think been there past her 90 day probation period. So I'm just needing some advice as to what you think I should expect or is there anything I should do to cover myself or make sure that they can't or won't fire me. I appreciate any input I can receive regarding this.

 

[doseone]

Another update, they just terminated my employment effective immediately. Meaning, that they never let me come in for the meeting on Monday or allowed me to apologize for what happened, not to mention explain my side of the matter. The reason given was "walking out", and "improper work conduct", I of course asked them about walking out, as I said I didn't walk off of the job. Instead I walked out of the meeting since I felt ambushed as well as scared, since I was in the process of talking to my boss about what was happening when these two people barged in from HR. I told them, that I left the meeting, but that I went back to my work station where I saw it was time for me to go to lunch anyway and even told my two co-workers who were there that I was going to lunch, but would be back in an hour. The reason I didn't come back, was because I was told not to since I was suspended without pay for the rest of the day. Yet to them, they think that walking out of that meeting was grounds enough for my dismissal. Anyway, I am currently in the process of getting a lawyer and taking them to court for wrongful termination. I've also been informed that several co-workers are going to come to my defense and write me written statements or testify on my behalf if need be. I'll keep everyone updated as to what happens or the outcomes. Thanks again everyone for their advice, as I'm definitely going to make sure they pay for treating me the way they did.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Good luck, my friend.

One thing I'm very familiar with is that employers who want to fire someone will set things up so as to be able to claim a cause which, while sounding better legalistically, is completely different from their actual reason. The scenario of "We know we want him out, now let's come up with a way to get him out" happens all the time. What's more, they prevented you from defending yourself while at the same time making it look on paper as if they gave you a golden opportunity to defend yourself and you insolently walked out on it. (And I passionately disagree with those posters who think there is any legitimacy in their blaming you for walking out on that meeting.)

You should indeed consult with a lawyer, and see what concessions can be wrested from them in negotiations. However, an actual lawsuit with all the publicity it will bring you may or may not be worth it. The ironic thing is that, whereas 30 years ago you wouldn't have stood a chance if you were gay, your best defense now is to convince people that this is "like being gay." And you're going to be up against some tough customers when it comes to that.

Edited to add: I may be wrong where I say that your best defense is "like being gay." That's probably true, but with this added qualifier: you don't, in my opinion, need to reveal any more than you already have. It would probably be a mistake to think that the more people have explained to them about the tickling fetish and the fetish community, the more they'll understand. This is an important question to discuss with your lawyer--and you can safely level with a good lawyer about the whole thing, and if your lawyer seems freaked out by it, say "Sorry to have bothered you" and leave.

My continued good wishes to you.

 

[amkes]

good luck hope for the best

 

[tickledgirl]

I'm still recovering from outpatient surgery; so i just put the statement down as is. however; wolf, if you have a problem with my grammar and spelling be a real man and PM me.

as for my statement, i have documentation from seminars conducted by ATTORNEYS concerning the proper way to fire someone. over the last 7 years i have took both federal and state courses on how to fire someone specially in at will states.

It is a not true that they can just work up and fire you just because. they can if they given you a grace period usually 90 days. this do not apply in this case; they must show a reason; financial problems with the company, poor work experiences, bad reviews, lateness; they have to have a reason that will stand up in a court.

If you put your request in writing why they fired you they must according to federal law give it to in writing. Check out your rights on Equal Opportunity Employment http://www.eeoc.gov/ . also as I stated before when you go to the meeting they will have no last then 4 people there. You need to bring a tape recorder so you can have a accurate recorder of the meetings.

You stated they came to a previous meeting with pads and pens; the reason why they came in with notepad is any notes taken in a meeting is consider legal documents in a court of law; as long as they have the date; and time. which mean you have a right to them since they will be placed in your employee record.

Federal and State law require employers to show on demand any short comings you had on the job which support them firing you. They are required to show in writing If they given you a verbal warning and how many, written warnings and what steps they took to try and help you to achieve the goals they set in front of you. And the written terminations letter why you was fired.

Please by no means do you take my word or anybody else on this site because most of them (WOLF) have no ideal what they are talk about. It’s a good thing they move the meeting you have all weekend to research with http://www.eeoc.gov/ about your situation. Also you can file any complaints with this organization, they will investigate you complaint and tell you if they had the right or not if you can not afford an attorney.

Wolf if you have a problem with me my email address is [email protected].

Wiz, hope you won't take offense at this, but I think you're conflating "firing" someone with ending their employment. "Firing" usually means that you did something wrong and as a result, the company kicked you out. For them to do that, they need well-documented cause. But any company can just end your employment whenever they choose.

Locally Motorola regularly terminates 10% of their employees every year. No reason, they just think it's a good idea to can 10% of their employees. Keeps the others on their toes. (Actually I'm not 100% sure they still do this, but they did as of 2 years ago.) I think it's BS, and I'd never work there. But it's not illegal.

 

[ticklesenseless]

tickledgirl is right. GE is well known for their cuts of the bottom 10 or 20% on EACH team. Managers tend to have to play games to protect good teams in that organization -- near review trades, etc.

Jobs come, jobs go.

Doseone, sorry to hear about your situation. Keep us informed of what the lawyer says.

 

[mabus]

Yes, a company can fire anyone at any time for CAPITALISTIC reasons, not for reasons such as this...and not after 5 years on the job. They would have to prove it would be for budget cuts, and that they also let others go at the same time.

If a boss lets 10 workers go all at once, it would be tough to fight that, and yes he can do that.

But if let's say he asks a female worker to have sex with him, and she turns him down...so he "lets her go..." that's illegal. Or if a worker objects to a racial insult or religious insult...and then he or she is "let go" IMMEDIATELY after.... Yes, OF COURSE the boss will lie and say "It was for this other reason." He won't sit on the witness stand and say "I fired her because she would sleep with me" or "I fired him because he's gay" unless he's insane!
Start listening to "Handel on the Law," he talks about legal matters. As Handel puts it, "YES, THEY WILL LIE! You should EXPECT them to lie!"
They will say you were harassing other workers, you did this, you did that...
That's why your co-worker's testinomy will be so important. Just make sure you get SOMETHING from them, even written statements - talk to your lawyer. Because yes, the boss will intimidate them into not testifying.
And yes, I know "he can't do that!" he will anyway!

You have a private, non-threatening conversation with a co-worker after hours and simply revealed you like tickling, and you immediatly get fired over that....and you have SEVERAL co-workers who will back you up....and hopefully you have EVERYTHING in writing...Oh yeah, I'm thinking you're going to win,.... and will soon be able to afford a LOT of tickle videos!

 

[steph]

Amen to the Goddess~so you f'ed up. Big deal, next time, be smarter cowboy. Maya Angelou says, "when you know better, you do better." IF the story is as you tell it, there's likely no good cause to fear firing.

I'm well known for my bizarre/twisted sense of humor in the workplace. Luckily my ability to generate revenue surpasses the horror of my higher-ups. I don't kid myself that it'll save my ass forever but my history and an apologetic "I meant it as a joke, it came off wrong and I'm sorry" has helped more times than I can count.
XOXO

Plus how many times have women from this forum who are into this fetish complain and/or leave due to messages they received. If tmf ladies can get freaked out, so can women on myspace, in your office, down the street, etc.

In paraphrasing Mils here: Lots of ticklish women and many of them not your co-worker.

.

 

[Iggy pop]

How well did you know this woman? What is the full story here? Did this woman give you her myspace page? Or did you track it down? You said you sent her a message that said you like to be tickled? Is that it or was it more graphic than that?

 

[vsa7a]

wow..

alot of responses and alot of tickle fetish bias..

truth be told..you have to face the music of reality and your situation is grim. you may have to consider resigning before they fire you.

you made some most blundering mistakes my friend. you werent accountable for your actions and you do nothing about it regardless then youre liable to be fired.

 

[Babyshambles]

alot of responses and alot of tickle fetish bias..

truth be told..you have to face the music of reality and your situation is grim. you may have to consider resigning before they fire you.

you made some most blundering mistakes my friend. you werent accountable for your actions and you do nothing about it regardless then youre liable to be fired.

Seriously, you can play this several ways. I faced the same situation and I resigned. Yes, by the laws of my country I could have sued their arses off and retained my job. But why didn't I? I didn't want to work for a company that was so intolerant of my lifestyle. I'm doing something much better now!! 😱)

Fighting it could be bad, but on the plus side, your company may not want the media attention. So they may pay you off anyway. Either way, you may not get a good reference.

Speak to an employment lawyer. You might even be able to do this at your company. Understand your position clearly and decide on a course of action.

One of the girls from Chicago talked about companies being able to let go of whoever they choose. This varies from country to country. In some countires terminating an employee is a difficult and arduous process. After all, you both have a contract and this cannot easily be broken. This would also vary from state to state i'm sure.

If I was in your position. I'd speak with HR. I'd have the meetings. I'd understand what they were doing and then if it was stacked against me, i'd resign. But I would like to see you fight this. What they are doing is wrong.

Fucking mysapce bitch ey??!!!

 

[Wolf]

That's unfortunate

Another update, they just terminated my employment effective immediately. Meaning, that they never let me come in for the meeting on Monday or allowed me to apologize for what happened, not to mention explain my side of the matter. The reason given was "walking out", and "improper work conduct", I of course asked them about walking out, as I said I didn't walk off of the job. Instead I walked out of the meeting since I felt ambushed as well as scared, since I was in the process of talking to my boss about what was happening when these two people barged in from HR. I told them, that I left the meeting, but that I went back to my work station where I saw it was time for me to go to lunch anyway and even told my two co-workers who were there that I was going to lunch, but would be back in an hour. The reason I didn't come back, was because I was told not to since I was suspended without pay for the rest of the day. Yet to them, they think that walking out of that meeting was grounds enough for my dismissal. Anyway, I am currently in the process of getting a lawyer and taking them to court for wrongful termination. I've also been informed that several co-workers are going to come to my defense and write me written statements or testify on my behalf if need be. I'll keep everyone updated as to what happens or the outcomes. Thanks again everyone for their advice, as I'm definitely going to make sure they pay for treating me the way they did.

It sounds like they're using a secondary issue because they knew they couldn't fire you for the real one. If you can prove that, you might have a case.

Here's a link that might help you get started:

http://research.lawyers.com/Washington/Employment-Law-in-Washington-State.html

Like I said before, I think you made a mistake, but I hardly think you deserved to get fired for it.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Babyshambles]

It sounds like they're using a secondary issue because they knew they couldn't fire you for the real one. If you can prove that, you might have a case.

Here's a link that might help you get started:

http://research.lawyers.com/Washington/Employment-Law-in-Washington-State.html

Like I said before, I think you made a mistake, but I hardly think you deserved to get fired for it.

Best of luck to you.

spot on. They were looking to get rid of you and now they've found an excuse.

 

[the wiz]

Wiz, hope you won't take offense at this, but I think you're conflating "firing" someone with ending their employment. "Firing" usually means that you did something wrong and as a result, the company kicked you out. For them to do that, they need well-documented cause. But any company can just end your employment whenever they choose.

Locally Motorola regularly terminates 10% of their employees every year. No reason, they just think it's a good idea to can 10% of their employees. Keeps the others on their toes. (Actually I'm not 100% sure they still do this, but they did as of 2 years ago.) I think it's BS, and I'd never work there. But it's not illegal.

No offense what so ever; however in the eyes of the law they are both the same. firing / ending; both means you no longer work for the company any longer.

There’s difference in this case and Motorola; Motorola is firing or letting go a specific amount of employees however if anyone of them ask for a reason in writing; it would site a financial reason. Which can be backed up by looking at their quarterly reports; however, his person is being fired because of someone stating she was uncomfortable with him because of this preference for tickling and being tickled. Unless they have documentation of him doing cutting it they legally can not fire him because of his preferences.


I have a sister-in-law who is currently on indefinite paid suspension after an altercation with a manager at her job. She didn’t work for that manager however, the manager continue to try and boss her around; my in-law has a very good work record and receive high remarks in all her reviews.

However, because of this blow up they was trying to fire her; (a blow out that happen behind closed doors). They told her to go home and not to come back until she was told to. After we spoke and she did her research she email her former employer and the EEOC, since they could not site any violations of company policies they was force to place her on indefinite paid suspension, it’s been 6 months and they are still paying her full salary.

Don’t get me wrong; they can manufacture anything they want; however, they must show something stating they tried to work with him before firing him.

I'm not saying i know everything; I just quote some of the policies explained to me at this seminars; that why i said he need to file a complaint with EEOC

 

[primetime]

Is it just me, or are all of us not getting the full story? I like what Mabus wrote and he made a good point. How on Earth can the "victim" take an email to her employers saying it made her feel uncomfortable, if the ONLY thing he wrote is "I like being tickled?"

Now, I know most of us view tickling as sexual, so we immediately associate the "tickling comment" with sex. But, if you were to tell some average mainstream person that you like to be tickled, I highly doubt most people would look at us like perverts. Tickling in the non fetish world is a playful interaction between human beings. People tickle babies all the time and have NO sexual thought processes when they do it (well, the non pedophiles...).

The key is HOW did he tell her he liked being tickled? If he wrote it in a sexual way, then we can see where she could be uncomfortable. I HIGHLY doubt this woman felt uncomfortable if he wrote (for example):

"I love to have fun! I like to go dancing, I like funny movies and I am a complete sports nut. I always love to laugh and I am constantly telling jokes to my friends, causing them to erupt in laughter. I laugh so much, that I even enjoy getting tickled! Yes, I'm a silly person....blah, blah, blah, blah..."

Folks, really. Could she really have felt uncomfortable with the above statement? If she did, then even the HR group wouldn't bother with the whole "let's fire him" spiel. They would reprimand him, but I don't think firing would be in their plans. I wonder what was TRULY said. Notice, the OP doesn't give a lot of details.....

It sucks that the OP lost his job. If it was innocent, then he should sue his ass off. I hope he finds something soon, but before all of us become "lawyers" and telling him what he should do, perhaps we should know what the email truly said. After all, the "victim" took the time to print out the email and give it to her employers, NOT the police. Why even bother with work officials unless somehow "work" was involved? Get what I am saying? Keep in mind, instead of giving his side of the story to HR, he walked out. That looks like guilty behavior to HR. If it was that innocent, why avoid HR like the plague? All of us are rushing to judgement and handing out advice on laws, but do we really know the full story?

If I were to get in trouble at work because I sent an email to a co-worker, OFF WORK, on MY personal computer, to HER PERSONAL computer, and there was no mention of me trying to have any sexual contact, any asking of her to tickle me, any asking of me to tickle her, then I would be on a rampage and demand apologies from everyone. I will not allow some person to destroy my reputation, all of my hard work over something completely innocent. I really believe there is more than meets the eye in this situation....

 

[Wolf]

Excellent point

Is it just me, or are all of us not getting the full story? I like what Mabus wrote and he made a good point. How on Earth can the "victim" take an email to her employers saying it made her feel uncomfortable, if the ONLY thing he wrote is "I like being tickled?"

Now, I know most of us view tickling as sexual, so we immediately associate the "tickling comment" with sex. But, if you were to tell some average mainstream person that you like to be tickled, I highly doubt most people would look at us like perverts. Tickling in the non fetish world is a playful interaction between human beings. People tickle babies all the time and have NO sexual thought processes when they do it (well, the non pedophiles...).

The key is HOW did he tell her he liked being tickled? If he wrote it in a sexual way, then we can see where she could be uncomfortable. I HIGHLY doubt this woman felt uncomfortable if he wrote (for example):

"I love to have fun! I like to go dancing, I like funny movies and I am a complete sports nut. I always love to laugh and I am constantly telling jokes to my friends, causing them to erupt in laughter. I laugh so much, that I even enjoy getting tickled! Yes, I'm a silly person....blah, blah, blah, blah..."

Folks, really. Could she really have felt uncomfortable with the above statement? If she did, then even the HR group wouldn't bother with the whole "let's fire him" spiel. They would reprimand him, but I don't think firing would be in their plans. I wonder what was TRULY said. Notice, the OP doesn't give a lot of details.....

It sucks that the OP lost his job. If it was innocent, then he should sue his ass off. I hope he finds something soon, but before all of us become "lawyers" and telling him what he should do, perhaps we should know what the email truly said. After all, the "victim" took the time to print out the email and give it to her employers, NOT the police. Why even bother with work officials unless somehow "work" was involved? Get what I am saying? Keep in mind, instead of giving his side of the story to HR, he walked out. That looks like guilty behavior to HR. If it was that innocent, why avoid HR like the plague? All of us are rushing to judgement and handing out advice on laws, but do we really know the full story?

If I were to get in trouble at work because I sent an email to a co-worker, OFF WORK, on MY personal computer, to HER PERSONAL computer, and there was no mention of me trying to have any sexual contact, any asking of her to tickle me, any asking of me to tickle her, then I would be on a rampage and demand apologies from everyone. I will not allow some person to destroy my reputation, all of my hard work over something completely innocent. I really believe there is more than meets the eye in this situation....

We've never heard about what exactly was in the MySpace message he sent her. That might go a long way to giving everyone a clearer picture of what went on.
Everyone's been giving advice (as requested by the OP), but we're all limited by how much information we're given at the outset.

 

[tickledgirl]

No offense what so ever; however in the eyes of the law they are both the same. firing / ending; both means you no longer work for the company any longer.

Err, not really. "Fired" isn't a legal term, but it usually indicates you were terminated with cause. For example, if you were caught stealing. Or you repeatedly performed poorly. (And the company can provide documentation of it.)[/QUOTE]

There’s difference in this case and Motorola; Motorola is firing or letting go a specific amount of employees however if anyone of them ask for a reason in writing; it would site a financial reason.

While I agree that it's different, Motorola isn't letting them go because for financial reasons. They've done this even in quarters where they had record profits. As ticklesenseless points out, GE does the same thing. They do it because they feel it's good policy, not for any financial reason.

From the Illinois Department of Labor's website:

Can an employer terminate me without advance notice or without giving a reason or an unfair reason for the termination?

Yes. Illinois is an "employment at-will" state, meaning that an employer or employee may terminate the relationship at any time, without any reason or cause. The employer, however, cannot discriminate based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, ancestry, citizenship status, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, military service or unfavorable military discharge.

I don't know what happened with your sister-in-law. Perhaps she was able to make a credible argument that she'd been discriminated against?

I'd also note that it's a bad idea for companies to do something like this. It's bad for morale, and if any managers say anything about the termination, they could be open to all kinds of liability for defamation. So I commend your employer for offering those seminars instructing you not to do anything like this. But it sounds (in my non-expert opinion) like they're doing more than the law demands. Kudos to them. But others (like the guy we're discussing) might not have those legal protections.

 

[Banshee]

The Second

He walked out of the meeting when HR showed up he created a fireable offense. I've fired people for less and to date they've all stuck.

Quit showing tickle bias. By contacting a woman he worked with he has questionable motive. His actions afterward do not put him in a good light. He deserves to be fired. Hell if his employer wants me to do it for them I offer my services.