Need help/advice.

[shadow4ce]

Hello, fellow TMFers. I've been a member for quite a while now, but have always been more of a lurker. I've run into some issues regarding tickling in my relationship and would like to ask for help/advice. My girlfriend and I have been together 1 year and 7 months. She knew about my fetishes before we started dating, and she has always been okay with them.

She was always pretty ticklish, with the few off-days when she just wasn't in the mood and it didn't work. However, the past 2 months, she has not been ticklish at all. I've tried, and it simply is not working anymore. I try to tickle her, and she just sits there staring at me and saying that it doesn't work.

I've asked her to fake a ticklish reaction, and sometimes she does. However, I do not ask this of her very often because she does not like faking it. We do not know why she just randomly stopped being ticklish. All we know is that it used to work all the time, and now it does not work at all. She always tells me that if she could control it, she would make herself ticklish for me, but she can't control it.

I was hoping some of you could offer advice on this. Is there something we could do that would make her ticklish again? What could be the cause of this? Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all in advance for any assistance you may be able to provide.

 

[robmic]

One thing that I think I would try, is to try and make her feel helpless and vulnerable and tease her telling her how you are going to tickle her and how much it's going to tickle and take your time and be patient. Having her bound would be best here. I'm not saying it will work, but it's a place to start.

 

[Libertine]

An honest chat about the relationship itself would be a very good idea.

 

[Darth Sidious]

I concur with both rob and Libertine on this one. This is something very important to you and she ought to know that, for sure. If she's purposely holding it back, it is hurting you and you should talk to her about it. I wouldn't think she would just suddenly stop being ticklish at all, but I'm no doctor hehe.

If the latter certainly is the case, you will have some tough decisions to make. Whatever you opt to do though, please remember to be honest about yourself and what you want. Don't rationalize to try to accommodate another as it may leave you frustrated in the end which isn't right either.

Hope the advice is helpful to you. Good luck!

 

[Prooster_Price]

Try taking her by surprise. I think the fact that she's expecting it and knows what to expect is playing a part.

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

Try taking her by surprise. I think the fact that she's expecting it and knows what to expect is playing a part.

Yeah I definitely think taking her by surprise could help. Squeeze her side unexpectedly or pretend like your going to tickle her in one spot and then suddenly switch to another spot. If there are certain tools you haven't tried that could help too.

 

[ElFewja]

I'm not saying that she grew to become un-ticklish but a person's body does change. What used to work might not always work. I know a girl that used to be deathly ticklish to a brush but now doesn't think it's ticklish at all. I think it's because she stands and walks a lot more, due to a job change. Her feet are still ticklish but you have to tickle them in other ways.

Now, I don't really know what's going on with you and her, how you're tickling her and what else is going on in the relationship. Mood plays a big part on tickling, as does closeness with the person. Of course, sometimes those elements aren't necessarily important, either. Each person is different.

So like others have implied, make sure everything between you and her is alright?

Additionally if you've been tickling her in the same way for extended periods of time for a long time it's reasonable to think she has adjusted to it unwittingly. It happens. I've tickled plenty of people to the point that they aren't sensitive anymore in a single session, so I imagine it can happen over time. Change things up. Try bondage, blindfolds, different tools, lotion, or maybe some other things you can think of.

I also don't really know your 'style' of tickling, necessarily. As others have suggested, if it's predictable she might have just become used to it.

I'm also not sure how you're using tickling: it sounds like she's just sitting there and you're tickling her with no further relevant stimulus or tools/bondage involved. Just my interpretation due to a lack of information.

Sorry that I can't be of more help. This is one of those things you really need to be in person to really test/talk about things/see what's going on, you know? At least I can try to guide you towards the right things.

 

[TKLVR18]

Just something for consideration--I cease being ticklish entirely when I don't feel safe. If I worry that I'm going to be laughed at or feel like I have something to prove it just, kind of goes away. I agree that opening a dialogue would be the best next step.

~K

 

[Markos]

Have you thought about leaving off tickling her for a while? It could be that she has become de- sensitised and needs a break to regain her responsiveness. It sounds like she may be experiencing sensory overload. After all, think about it, we have five senses, any one of which may be affected by an excess of stimulation. My guess is that giving the tickling a rest for a while may help to restore your girlfriends sensitivity to tickling.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

How's the relationship otherwise? I'm wondering if emotional distance, disinterest or disconnect has something to do with it.

 

[TickVix]

Try taking her by surprise. I think the fact that she's expecting it and knows what to expect is playing a part.

I would have to totally agree with that nothing better than being tickled ambushed 😃

 

[Aeveirra]

NOOO!! asking for fake ticklish reactions is a baddd idea.
One does not simply stop being ticklish, she still is. Either she's faking it and not laughing hoping that you stop trying to tickle her, or she is more sensitive somewhere else on her body.
I'm guessing she doesn't have a tickle fetish, and doesn't like when you do it to her more than she tells you. Sadly, I've seen this happen. Unless you have a tickling fetish, having someone frequently tickle you is not enjoyable.

You could try a few things...
1) Why not try letting her tickle you? 😉 you'd probably really like it.
2) Ask her if she actually likes when you tickle her. That's important, cus if she hasn't this whole time, it makes sense why she has become less ticklish as you spend more time with her. She may have just been tolerating it, but has become increasingly annoyed by it to the point she doesn't want you to do it anymore.
3) try using more intense methods 😉 like oiling+brushing her soles, or dragging your nails / fingertips on her bare skin. Experiment and try other very sensitive areas.
4) ask her where she thinks she's most ticklish. That psychological element of her thinking she's more ticklish somwhere could help intensify the sensation when u do it,

I think if somhow she isn't ticklish anymore, your best option is (#1) to let her tickle you instead of you doing it to her 🙂 If you get turned on by this stuff, then You can't not-love the sensation of being tickled! <3 It's just amazing <3 try being a lee and see how it goes 😉


I have seen some people have relationship problems like this, and people here are more willing to break up with someone over this. Don't do that, you've been together for almost two years. Tickling can't be worth leaving someone over, so if anyone here tells you to break up....don't unless your having other more serious problems.