Realized something today

[C.A.B.]

Oh I've accepted a long time ago that I'm going to die alone....

Everyone dies alone. But the question is: Does one want to die lonely.

 

[ArchNemesis]

Everyone dies alone. But the question is: Does one want to die lonely.

The times when I thought I wanted a relationship, it was never because I was lonely. Horny for tickling, but never lonely. I wanted a relationship because I wanted to feel normal, feel like everyone else. And being alone made me feel unattractive. But no, I can't say I've ever been lonely. Again probably because I'm an only child and can take other people or leave them. And even then I wanted a girlfriend, but at the same time I wasn't social and didn't like being around people more than I had to. It was more like, I wished there was some way I could just magically have a girlfriend so I could feel like I was like everyone else, and she would indulge my sexual urges, of course, but wasn't interested in being social. It would be nice if mail-order brides were really as easy as picking a woman out of a catalog and buying her. But unfortunately, even a mail-order bride would have to like me, and I don't like the pressure LOL

 

[rhiannon]

Everyone dies alone.

Not necessarily. People can always become pilots!

Fact is, relationships are expensive! The longer it goes, the more money it costs.

Seriously, guys...what kind of women have you been dating!?

 

[mellon_collie]

I've been with my partner for four years next month. We split our dinner bills and buy each other Christmas and birthday presents. I wouldn't consider it an advantage to have 'saved' a single penny of any of that money.

 

[helplessandhappy]

Yeah, I don't get the whole "girlfriends cost a lot of money" thing. Two incomes are better than one, and if a guy is paying for his own place, I'd think whatever he spent on gifts/dates would be more than balanced out by a second income and help with bills, no? Thinking in terms of a serious relationship, of course. Not casual dating.

 

[rhiannon]

Yeah, I don't get the whole "girlfriends cost a lot of money" thing. Two incomes are better than one, and if a guy is paying for his own place, I'd think whatever he spent on gifts/dates would be more than balanced out by a second income and help with bills, no? Thinking in terms of a serious relationship, of course. Not casual dating.

Bingo. It's not like we live in the 60s! Even when I was dating I wouldn't always let my dates pay.

 

[L_o_s_e_r]

"It's not that easy: sure evolution wants to make us fuck each other, but also made us very careful in choosing our partners"

Read the book Sex at Dawn". Once you understand what I'm talking about, you will be able to reply.

 

[Ticklish9's]

I think it's fair to be honest with yourself about what you want. I wouldn't say that it's laziness, just prioritization - you have energy to achieve the tasks you think are worth achieving, you just don't think that a relationship is particularly worth the time and energy investment.

That's reasonable, and good for you for not faking it with someone instead. Much better to be honest.

You only want the sex/tickle/kink part and don't care for the rest, then? For me, a relationship is all about the hand holding and familiarity, and I enjoy those elements far more than the tickling and sex (I don't even have or want sex at all). I can get tickling from lots of places, and I do, and it's fun, but there are other parts of relationships that I really enjoy.

 

[xionking]

Sounds like a simple and uncomplicated life.

 

[Libertine]

Sir Walter Scott. 1771–1832

Lucy Ashton's Song

LOOK not thou on beauty's charming;
Sit thou still when kings are arming;
Taste not when the wine-cup glistens;
Speak not when the people listens;
Stop thine ear against the singer;
From the red gold keep thy finger;
Vacant heart and hand and eye,
Easy live and quiet die.

 

[C.A.B.]

"A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and be merry." (Ecclesiastes 8: 15)

"Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die." (Isaiah 22: 13)

"If the dead are not raised, `Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.'" (I Corinthians 15: 32)

 

[TTT for joy]

For me, a relationship is all about the hand holding and familiarity, and I enjoy those elements far more than the tickling and sex (I don't even have or want sex at all).

We're on the same page here. There is nothing I want more than to hold someone's hand, but we're free to choose whatever works best for us. Up to some point however I must say that I tend to be jealous of people who don't need that kind of intimate relationship to live a happy life.

 

[ArchNemesis]

Well take the way I approached dating, when I did date. I haven't been on a date in about 8 years and don't plan on ever dating again, I'm much more certain to get what I came for at a strip club or at a massage parlor. But when I did date, I don't think I ever had a second date because it was like if I did tickle her on the first date, then I got what I wanted and could masturbate thinking about it, so why go out with her again? And if I didn't tickle her on the first date, its like I didn't get what I came for, so why go out with her again?

 

[C.A.B.]

...But when I did date, I don't think I ever had a second date because it was like if I did tickle her on the first date, then I got what I wanted and could masturbate thinking about it, so why go out with her again? And if I didn't tickle her on the first date, its like I didn't get what I came for, so why go out with her again?

Upon reading this admission.... Yes. I agree. I think it would be better for all involved if you just stayed home and masturbated from here on out.

 

[ArchNemesis]

Today I googled "too lazy to date" and I found that quite a few people feel the same way I do. I should mention, I would be open to a pretty woman cooking & cleaning for me, basically taking care of me. But the dating stuff in the meantime, the whole "does she like me, did I do/say something stupid just now, is she attracted to me, don't call too much or I'll seem desperate", its so much work. But it felt good to see today that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Eh.... at least you know exactly what you want, and you readily know where to find it.

I'm going to be VERY honest with you. I got to the point when I was like, "I'm DONE with dating!" and then I realized the love of my life was right under my nose 10 yrs. ago. I was just too stubborn to see it.

BUT, if (God forbid) anything ever happened to him, I'm kinda still done. I don't think I have it in me to actively date and go through all of that to find somebody else. I just don't. I don't think what I have with him will ever be duplicated- not even close. Who am I kidding.... I'm glad I found someone who loves me enough to want to stay even after they realize the imperfect goof I really am. Kinda nice. I'd better NOT ruin it! 😉

SO- I'm not mad at you at all. In fact, I feel what you are saying! Dating is hard work! But- Having a partner in life kinda makes it worth it. (A good cleaning lady/ man might do the trick as well, if that's what ya need.)

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

There's no shame in your current lifestyle and long-term plans, but it's not out of the realm of possibility that you could meat a girl and actually fall in love with her. Love, meaning your feelings for her go way deeper than masturbatory tickle fodder. It could change your whole outlook.

 

[ArchNemesis]

There's no shame in your current lifestyle and long-term plans, but it's not out of the realm of possibility that you could meat a girl and actually fall in love with her. Love, meaning your feelings for her go way deeper than masturbatory tickle fodder. It could change your whole outlook.

I keep coming back to this thread because I love talking about myself, I also love complaining and whining, and I'm being serious. 🙂 Here's the problem that I have. Say I met a girl and "fell in love" with her. I've never had a romantic relationship, but I've had relationships with friends and obviously family members enough to know that you don't always get along, you don't always want to do the same things. Actually they were the ones who wanted to do something, I never wanted to do anything, and it was like "go do what you want, leave me alone." I've always been the kind of person who cares more about avoiding anything unpleasant than experiencing pleasant things. If you could take a pill and never feel anything ever again, I'd take it in a heartbeat. It's not that I've had a traumatic life or anything. Uneventful yes, but mostly through my own doing, but not traumatic or awful. I'd take the pill because I'm the kind of person who would pass up 99 fun experiences just to avoid the 1 unpleasant one. So no, any fun, any wonderful times I might have in a relationship, they're not worth the bad times even if like I said the bad times were only 1% of the time. I'd rather avoid life than live it, basically. Whatever doesn't kill us might make us stronger, but its not worth it to me. I'd honestly rather it did kill me so I didn't have to deal with anything again.

 

[helplessandhappy]

That's an awfully sad way to approach life. I seriously recommend you look into fixing that issue in your mind sooner rather than later. Life is for living, and you might experience a lot of regret later in life if you continue on this way. Not wanting a relationship is one thing, but refusing to take part in life in general because you're afraid of a few bad experiences? That sounds like a real problem to me.

 

[Bohemianne]

Actually they were the ones who wanted to do something, I never wanted to do anything, and it was like "go do what you want, leave me alone." I've always been the kind of person who cares more about avoiding anything unpleasant than experiencing pleasant things. If you could take a pill and never feel anything ever again, I'd take it in a heartbeat. It's not that I've had a traumatic life or anything. Uneventful yes, but mostly through my own doing, but not traumatic or awful. I'd take the pill because I'm the kind of person who would pass up 99 fun experiences just to avoid the 1 unpleasant one. So no, any fun, any wonderful times I might have in a relationship, they're not worth the bad times even if like I said the bad times were only 1% of the time. I'd rather avoid life than live it, basically. Whatever doesn't kill us might make us stronger, but its not worth it to me. I'd honestly rather it did kill me so I didn't have to deal with anything again.

Hahaha... for some reason, you got a point. Not bad about the "Prevention is better than Cure" thing...

Other than that, this is just a thread anyway.

 

[ArchNemesis]

I found out on the internet last night that there's something called "solosexual". This is someone who would rather masturbate than have sex with someone else. Honestly I'm 40 and never have had sex with anyone else, so I don't know if I would like it or not. This happened through a combination of things I think:

Thinking I was too much of a loser for any female to want me. When I was in school and a girl would try to show interest in me, I thought she was either doing it as a joke because what girl would ever want me, or if she was interested in me it was only because she didn't know what a loser I was yet and would lose interest in me when she found out. It would actually make me angry when a girl would show interest in me, for those reasons. So I would reject any girl who showed interest in me, thinking she was either playing a cruel joke or would eventually reject me anyway.

Coming on as too needy when I did make my interest in a female known because I thought "maybe now I'll finally have a girlfriend and I'll be like everyone else" instead of being able to just "hang out" and have fun and whatever happens happens...I wanted something from her, wanted her to find me attractive because I only ever wanted to feel attractive to females.

Going to an all-boys Catholic high school my sophomore through senior years, so the only way you met girls was by having a healthy social life outside of school, which I didn't. I went to school, went straight home, played video games and went to bed. Just like I've done all the years since except of course going to work instead of school.

And just plain not having any interest in vaginas. I wanted to tickle girls feet. Tickling a female's feet makes me horny, but then I just want to get off. Kissing and making out with a woman, trying to please her sexually, I don't really have any interest in that, I just want to get off. Maybe if after tickling a woman she would just lay there and spread her legs long enough for me to get off, I think that's about as much interest in a vagina as I would have.

So, I guess maybe I am "solosexual". Maybe if I had sex I'd find I liked it and wanted more, but a lack of opportunity and lack of interest (at least for now) make that unlikely. So "solosexual" it is. 🙂

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

Sounds like when you were younger you had a really big fear of rejection. And that the fear shaped a lot of the decisions you made. As much as you wanted a girl to like you you'd push them away if they showed you that they like you. In your mind they'd reject you so you rejected them first. If that fear has followed you into adulthood is it possible that that fear is shaping your current needs for dating and sex. Deep down maybe you want a relationship but your fear is holding you back. And it could just be that you are a "solosexual". You know yourself better than me so you'd have a better idea about that. But at least consider the possibility that fear is holding you back from what you really want.

 

[JoBelle]

We all come to what we want at different points in life. So enjoy what you enjoy now and with whatever else you want when the times comes. If you don't have a magic crystal ball somewhere, you don't know what may come along to change your mind. Enjoy the surprise.

 

[ArchNemesis]

I was just recently thinking about when I was a telemarketer in the late 90's. I was the top person there, broke all kinds of sales records. Honestly whatever I was selling I would just shove it down people's throats. I saw the people on the other end of the line as commission to go in my pocket, nothing more. Anyway, whenever a cute young female had her shoes off or had flip flops on, and would be sitting with her feet sticking out I would take a break, walk by her desk and give her foot a quick tickle. I don't remember anyone ever getting mad or complaining, just jumping and going "EEK" or "OH MY GOD I'm so ticklish!" Did I just get away with it because I was the top seller? Did my status as top seller give me a sort of carte blanche there? I don't know but if that was the case I took full advantage of it! Then of course I would go home and masturbate myself silly thinking about it.

Sometimes they were girls who I knew a little better, as opposed to some who I tickled the first day I saw them working there. Some of those girls I honestly don't know if I ever even said a word to them, even "hi" the whole time they worked there, or if I just walked by and tickled their feet and that was it. Anyway a couple times that I can remember, these girls who I knew a little better seemed to think I was flirting with them when I tickled their feet. Because they would try to have a conversation with me and would flirt with me, trying to get to know me better or something I guess, I don't know. Social skills have never been my strong point LOL. I just wasn't interested in flirting with them, having a conversation or whatever they were trying to do. The girls were physically attractive, so there was no problem there. Its just that I already got what I wanted, I found out they were ticklish on their feet which made it more fun to masturbate thinking about them. And as I've said before, I now consider myself solosexual. At 41 I've never had sex and have never really been interested in doing so. A big part of it is that the only sexual pleasure I'm interested in is my own. Forcing involuntary laughter from a woman (regardless of whether she actually feels like laughing; she may, she may not) is just a lot more exciting to me than making her feel good. A woman giving me a footjob is the closest to intercourse I'd be interested in.

 

[smokinj]

Dude, don't take this the wrong way but you seem to have a very deep level of depression. You look at women as sex objects only, nothing more than gratifying your sexual urges. That's really shallow. However as I've read your original and subsequent posts, I can't help but feel sorry for you. I hope someday you will find a woman who you adore and vice versa so you can truly know his great it is to be with a partner, not just a sexual toy for your own desires who you could care less about after tickling.