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Sexual Deviance

T

Tickler15

1st Level Red Feather
Joined
Sep 15, 2001
Messages
1,152
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38
Hey guys just wanted to know something. What do you think of us, being labeld sexually deviant? Do you think its wrong? Do you think the DSM should be changed to reflect the TMF as normal?:wavingguy
 
I think the term is accurate, it just has negative connotation right now. Technically, we do deviate from normal sexual practices -- I wouldn't say that we are normal. It's just a matter of opinion: is abnormal bad, or simply ... abnormal? I think society has a way to go before no one really gives a shit about sexuality, but in the meantime I'm fine being labeled as deviant because A. I think I am so and B. it's who I am so it doesn't bother me.
 
Go ahead and label me a sexual deviant. I will answer by saying sex is a lot more fun for me than it is for you. If the alternative is 2 minutes of forepaly followed by 2 minutes of squishing noises in the missionary position then I'm happy to be a deviant. My husband and I have never been arrested for any sexual behavior. We're happy. It's no one else's business.

Love,
Jean
 
Agree with Paranoid...we *are* deviant, in the true sense of the word. We do not need to accept the value judgments that other people tack onto the word if we do not wish to. Personally, I embrace my deviancy. It is part of what makes me...me. I'd rather be uncommon!
 
Guys, I wasn't insulting you, I am just wondering however one else felt about it. I am also "deviant" and I'm not sure I like being labeled that.
 
Thank you; it's good to know all my hard work has not gone for not.:tickle:
 
On a technical level, we are deviants. We do deviate from the norm. So, the manual need not be changed. It's society's opinions that need changing. While they (those who refuse to accept anyone who isn't like them) try to cram us all into the same tired mold, we get to enjoy ourselves and do as we like.

This is why simply living our lives as we've chosen, without shoving it down people's throats is the best way to go. If we go around getting in people's faces about it, that's when problems will arise. In doing so, we do the same thing we don't like them for doing.

As long as we're not violating anyone else's rights or well-being, I say... Live and let live!
 
I don't think it's wrong, and I have see no particular need for any changes.
 
So should I refuse the advice of a therpist who says I need sexual therpy becasue of it?
 
Tickler15 said:
So should I refuse the advice of a therpist who says I need sexual therpy becasue of it?
Click to expand...
Of course they think you need help, do you know how much they make an hour? :upsidedow

Everyone touched on it above. Deviant is a just a word that means "deviates from the norm". Simply put, not the normal sex. Normal for who? And what is normal to you? Sex is sex in the normal fashion most people think of it. We have added proclivities that we enjoy with our sex, and separate from it. Do "most" people have the same (aka norm)? No. So yea I guess a lot of us are sexual deviants in that we stray from the norm or are aroused by this.

Deviant just holds negative connotations for people, just like the word fetish. Does it make them wrong? Nah, they are technically correct is most uses within the community. You like what you like and are not a machine that can turn off settings. Enjoy what you enjoy. The only thing that makes it feel stranger is that it is NOT the norm (haha right back to your original question) Is it weird if your friend likes breasts, or is an ass or leg man? Nope. I'd bet most of the people that would tell you tickling is weird in a different situation would drool if you said "Sweetheart, I'd love to lay you out on my bed and slowly stimulate every damn part of your body with my fingertips like I was exploring a treasure map, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet" :yowzer: Hell, I may take my own advice.

You are not weird, you are you. Appreciate it, because we appreciate you as part of this community for it.
 
Embrace it!

Deviant? Perhaps. Others who have posted here brought up the point that we DO in fact deviate from the norm. That being said... where's the problem in that? We have a lot of fun. I agree with Jean. So what if others think it weird? That's their opinion. And I'd be willing to bet that sex is way more enjoyable for me, too. That alternative sounds like a waste of four minutes...

I dunno what the therapist's problem is. Probably just what KrazieDog said: he/she wants the money. They get paid well for listening. Sweet gig, no? The most of them probably have huge student loans to pay off, too. So money is the driving force there, most likely. As long as you aren't running around molesting people, I don't think you should be treated for your fetish.

Deviants unite!
 
Well I've read that 85 percent of all people enjoy tickling or being. In a sexual way, Idk, but it dosen't sound like its very deviant to me. The same with a foot fetish, someone wrote an article about how it is so common that it shouldn't be considered a fetish. Well, I took her offer and I attened one free group session, and I think you guys are right. Some of the people in their are sex offenders and I walked out of their feeling like I was one. Not to mention she preached that looking at someone and thinking their attractive, is objectivification, which leaves to vicitimization. "Its someones mom...I shouldn't be thinking that." Then she critized him saying "Why do I think that your not checking out moms." He was the same age as me and a lot of us do check out "MILFS." Someone had a X-rated video in his house and they told him he was hyer sexual. Some people were charged with Lewid and Lacivious battery (which in my state is statutory rape) becasue they person they were with told them they were of age. They just got screwed in my opinion. I left there feeling like I had a problem, for years until I found the TMF I felt weird and strange. When I found it, I didn't feel so weird anymore, and in ninety minutes she almost un-did twenty years of work!
 
What defines the norm...? Any slight 'kink' or 'like' within the realms of sexuality could be considered as deviant by many a person that doesn't share the same views. For me - it doesn't matter one iota whether my like for tickling could be considered as deviant.🙂 Certainly there could be a lot worse 'things' we could be into than tickling.
 
I'll tell you what I think of it. I think......well, they're right. When it comes to me anyway. 😀

But eh, stereotypes etc. Everyone so far has said much on it. People seem to understand it less than some other fetishes, and we all know how people often react to things they don't understand...
 
Tickler15 said:
Hey guys just wanted to know something. What do you think of us, being labeld sexually deviant? Do you think its wrong? Do you think the DSM should be changed to reflect the TMF as normal?:wavingguy
Click to expand...

If they ever labeld the forum as Normal I would have to leave. Normal is boring and freak is chic 😀
 
Tickler15 said:
Hey guys just wanted to know something. What do you think of us, being labeld sexually deviant? Do you think its wrong? Do you think the DSM should be changed to reflect the TMF as normal?:wavingguy
Click to expand...
In what way does the DSM list us as "deviant?" As I recall all paraphilias are listed as pathological only if there is clinically significant distress.
 
The DSM

According to my Husband, the DSM does not list Tickling per se' as deviant behavior. It lumps fetishes into one category. It would be up to one's counselor and/or psychiatrist to determine if their behavior was "harmful" to themselves or others.

Most couples I know tickle :tickle: each other -- they just don't tie one down first. :2poke:
 
Tickling WAS in the DSM-IV as a sexual deviancy. It's ONLY classifiable as a paraphilia (props to Red for the mention, 'cause NO ONE does...) when it's REQUIRED for sexual fruition.

Means that you who CAN perform coitus without tickling are still "normal". You're deviant ONLY when practicing such, and thus aren't as cool as those of us who practice all the time. Tee hee...

Deviancy need not be "cured" but only controlled. Let's keep control of our deviant little selves. 😀
 
dvnc said:
Means that you who CAN perform coitus without tickling are still "normal". You're deviant ONLY when practicing such, and thus aren't as cool as those of us who practice all the time. Tee hee...
Click to expand...


It's almost like being the none comic book fan at the comic convention. On the out side they might be cool, but at the conventions their the nerds.
 
I'm starting ot think I am paranoid, but when someone who is quailified tells me something I can't help but think they are right, no matter how hard I question it. So in other words, Thanks for your help guys! This is why I joined the TMF, I feel normal in a deviant way :firedevil
 
Yeah, we're deviant. And until public understanding of sexual practices that are not to their tastes changes (they won't), we will still be deviant.

Do I mind? No. I'm getting better sex than they are.
 
I could care less what society chooses to label things as. Deviant fine. I would much rather be true and original to myself, then conform to what is considered normal and accepted practices.

If you really want to take things to another level since all of us consider tickling perfectly normal we could in turn (and this would be childish but still,) say they are the deviants for not thinking it normal.

Oh and as a fellow person in therapy I choose not to discuss tickling or other things similar to that nature, because it is not something that is a problem to be fixed. Therapy is more there to help with ones other problems (depression, anxiety, etc...) If your therapist is saying you need help because of your fetish something is wrong and you should find a better therapist.
 
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