I have been with my amazing, wonderful girlfriend for about 5 years. She is gorgeous, funny, and in about two weeks going to be my fiancé if she says yes. I have never shared my interest in tickling with anyone, but I feel like if I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone I want them to everything there is to know about me. She is very ticklish herself, and she HAS to have noticed I have always tickled her whenever I have the chance. But I just don't know if it would weird her out or something if she knew how deep my interest truly was...
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Should I tell her?
- Thread starter zoltan82
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ticklemepls
3rd Level Red Feather
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Not to be rude... but seriously?
1) you know her better than anyone here... do YOU think she deserves to know?
2) if you cant be honest and open about this, what else cant you be honest & open about...
Yes.... you should tell her.
1) you know her better than anyone here... do YOU think she deserves to know?
2) if you cant be honest and open about this, what else cant you be honest & open about...
Yes.... you should tell her.
See that's just the thing. I am an open book about every other thing in my life. Of course I think she DESERVES to know. There is just that fear that maybe it will change the way she views me or thinks its crazy, which hell I agree but I can't change who I am nor would I want to.
Hmm, it depends HOW you bring it. If you treat this as a "disease" it's possible she treats you differently. It's not like you're into choking her or anything 😛 It's just tickling. She already lets you tickle her once in a while so it's not like she absolutely hates it. Maybe she will suprise you by letting you tie her up and tickle her. Maybe not, but at least she learns a new thing about you. I mean isn't there anything about her you think it's "weird" but go along with it?
Although I don't know you or your soon to be fiance, I can say with a high level of certainty that she won't think it's that weird or crazy, and she won't think it's a big deal unless you make it a big deal.
I know the feeling of keeping a side of yourself secret for so long that the thought of sharing it seems daunting and scary, but once you do and she's cool with it you'll see how silly all your worrying was.
Try and do it as casually as you can. Maybe open up with asking what her sexual fantasies are, or if she has kinks of her own.
Have a look through the forum and you'll find many stories of people opening up to their partners about tickling, and the results are usually the same, the partner was totally cool with it.
Best of luck with everything, including the proposal. Let us know how it went.
I know the feeling of keeping a side of yourself secret for so long that the thought of sharing it seems daunting and scary, but once you do and she's cool with it you'll see how silly all your worrying was.
Try and do it as casually as you can. Maybe open up with asking what her sexual fantasies are, or if she has kinks of her own.
Have a look through the forum and you'll find many stories of people opening up to their partners about tickling, and the results are usually the same, the partner was totally cool with it.
Best of luck with everything, including the proposal. Let us know how it went.
OscarTheMonkey
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You should have had that talk four and a half years ago.............
You have tickled her before and she didn't rip out any of your body parts. How bad can she find it? Do you guys talk about sex? If you do (and you should if you want to marry her!), why don't you ask her what SHE likes the most?
Yeah, as above, definitely bring it up. Most people are aware that people have kinks. It's almost stranger for people to have no fetish or slightly odd sexual fantasy at all. And being into tickling is much more likely to be okay with her than say, bestiality or scat (no offence to folks into scat).
I would either ask her if she is into anything kinky, or just make a link between tickling and sexual arousal the next time you tickle her. I.e. 'This may sound weird, but it makes me feel horny when I tickle you'. That probably sounds rubbish, but I'm sure it will get the conversation started.
It is a brief moment of embarrassment to pay for a lifetime not regretting it.
I would either ask her if she is into anything kinky, or just make a link between tickling and sexual arousal the next time you tickle her. I.e. 'This may sound weird, but it makes me feel horny when I tickle you'. That probably sounds rubbish, but I'm sure it will get the conversation started.
It is a brief moment of embarrassment to pay for a lifetime not regretting it.
ticklemepls
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Chances are if you already tickle her a lot she's probably got a hunch... if you approach it with the "well y'know how I tickle you a lot? I kinda have a thing for it.. etc etc etc" ... chances are she'll respond with something like 'I figured' .... if not... just be like "Well... at least it's not something extreme like needle play" lol that should change perspective 🙂
Better to talk to her about it now and deal with her reaction then wait until you are married. Based on what you've described she will be OK with tickling. But if not, and you wait until after marrying then you may well join the long list of unhappy spouses on here married to someone who doesn't enjoy the tickle fetish.
Man up and talk to her.
Man up and talk to her.
porcelaindoll2
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She really really should know before you marry her. If she really truly loves you she should be accepting of your fetish because you love it and she loves you. Of course you need to be ready for disappointment. You also need to figure out just how important this fetish is to you. If she says it is strange and doesn't want to have anything to do with it can you still love her and spend the rest of your days with her? Will you start going behind her back to get your tickle fix? It will be easier to just walk away then deal with a divorce later down the road. Now it already sounds like she likes you and will let you tickle her, so that should make things easier.
Bator
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If you have tickled her every chance you have had over 5yrs and she is still with you, she already knows and must enjoy it. I would still tell her though. You shouldn't worry too much about it, apparently it's not that big a deal. Best wishes.
helplessandhappy
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Whether or not you tell her, in my opinion, has to do with where you want to take it from here. If you just enjoy tickling her in an everyday sort of way and want to continue, I don't think you have to sit her down and tell her anything. As others have said, she already knows you enjoy it. If you want to take your fetish to the next level (tying her up, etc) and don't feel you'll be happy throughout your life without doing that, then DEFINITELY tell her before you ask her to marry you.
LebaneseLee
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You absolutely should tell her! You might be surprised with how understanding she will be. 🙂
magic fingers
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Like a lot of other people have mentioned, since you've been w/her for five years, she probably already knows, and apparently is OK w/it. Go ahead and tell her. Chances are, it'll be no big deal to her and maybe she'll even get into it.
I think you definitely should tell her. As she loves and trusts you, she will probably be okay with it.
As for what pls said that if you tickle her a lot, she probably already knows.. my thought is that it depends. Long before I knew I was "into tickling", in college.. there were plenty of girls who got tickled a lot, and if their bfs were asked if they were into tickling, a lot of them usually said things like "Nah I just do it to annoy her, or play with her". Tickling a significant other often can also be playful.. or just a form of physical contact. It doesn't mean that the tickler is "into" tickling, just because they tickle their significant other a lot.
As for what pls said that if you tickle her a lot, she probably already knows.. my thought is that it depends. Long before I knew I was "into tickling", in college.. there were plenty of girls who got tickled a lot, and if their bfs were asked if they were into tickling, a lot of them usually said things like "Nah I just do it to annoy her, or play with her". Tickling a significant other often can also be playful.. or just a form of physical contact. It doesn't mean that the tickler is "into" tickling, just because they tickle their significant other a lot.
Definitely agree with the others that you should. The worst case scenario if you're both open-minded people is she loves the honesty/sharing, gives it some thought and has conditions (since it appears tickling is not a phobia for her). She might have something of her own to share.
Tickleraket
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Like all the others said you should tell her. If tickling is such a big part of you, she has to accept it, and why shouldn't she? Like mentioned, you don't have to point it out like it's some kind of disease. I'm not actually PROUD of my fetish, but I won't change who I am because others think different, I accepted it and proved to myself that it's just who I am, and nothing is wrong with that. And you have tickled her and she didn't complain... Good sign nr. 1! The way I see it, tickling is really not that THAT bad, but I only do think that based of a good experience by sharing it, and hiding it is way too hard, and not worth it. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but like most people in here, it seems like they vote for a "yes you should do it!" So go for it man and good luck!
And if you don't mind, please make a post about how it went, we are a full community here supporting you no matter what! 😉
And if you don't mind, please make a post about how it went, we are a full community here supporting you no matter what! 😉
gilmourwaters
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of course you should tell her! but just choose your words carefully
If you gonna marry her, I'd say yes, tell her. Because if not you gotta spent most eventually the rest of your life without real tickling I guess. I think there's nothing more sad than spending your tickle fetish on watching clips and online stuff. That at least my opinion.
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I always look at situations like this with an eye on how they analog into a more vanilla sexual context.
To you Tickling is much like a favored sex position, that works better for you to get off in. I've spoken to enough guys who favor on position over all others for assured orgasm. Tickling for you plays a similar roll in your sexuality, you don't need it to get off, but if you can add it in things go oh so much better, right?
Looking at it like that, then of course you'd tell your partner. You'd communicate a position that worked better for you sexually, because you'd want them to know what works for you, and why. It's not going to be something that you do EVERY time, but it is something that makes your sexual experience better, and the person you are sharing said sex with deserves to be in on the facts. You want her to enjoy your times together, and she wants the same for you.
It's understandable that you have honest fears about sharing this aspect of your sexuality with her. That natural state for most paraphiliacs is to hold some shame over their like. It's a sadly natural result from simply existing in our culture, which is one that is conformist by nature. We learn early on that different is not liked. So we hide.
The difference here is that you seem to be forming a significant relationship with your partner, one that has a potential for the long run. And if that is indeed the case, then allowing her to see the whole you, your whole sexuality, is the right thing to do. She deserves the chance to know what her possible future partner needs regarding his sexual happiness, so she can know if she can provide it. (and not accidentally exclude it without knowing)
Best of luck. It sounds as if you have little to worry about, given your current inclusion of tickling already with no rejection. She may not "Know' but on some level I wager she understand that there is something in it that works for you.
Myriads
To you Tickling is much like a favored sex position, that works better for you to get off in. I've spoken to enough guys who favor on position over all others for assured orgasm. Tickling for you plays a similar roll in your sexuality, you don't need it to get off, but if you can add it in things go oh so much better, right?
Looking at it like that, then of course you'd tell your partner. You'd communicate a position that worked better for you sexually, because you'd want them to know what works for you, and why. It's not going to be something that you do EVERY time, but it is something that makes your sexual experience better, and the person you are sharing said sex with deserves to be in on the facts. You want her to enjoy your times together, and she wants the same for you.
It's understandable that you have honest fears about sharing this aspect of your sexuality with her. That natural state for most paraphiliacs is to hold some shame over their like. It's a sadly natural result from simply existing in our culture, which is one that is conformist by nature. We learn early on that different is not liked. So we hide.
The difference here is that you seem to be forming a significant relationship with your partner, one that has a potential for the long run. And if that is indeed the case, then allowing her to see the whole you, your whole sexuality, is the right thing to do. She deserves the chance to know what her possible future partner needs regarding his sexual happiness, so she can know if she can provide it. (and not accidentally exclude it without knowing)
Best of luck. It sounds as if you have little to worry about, given your current inclusion of tickling already with no rejection. She may not "Know' but on some level I wager she understand that there is something in it that works for you.
Myriads
DontAskJusTckle
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Whatever you do, DON'T tell her that tickling is sexual for you. Because if you do, that'll close the door on any tickling outside of this relationship. You may be thinking, "I don't care! I don't want to tickle anybody but her!" Trust me, as sure as the day gives way to night you are going to change your mind about that.
If you feel you must mention something to her, leave out the sexuality, and just tell her you've always got a kick out of tickling people. That way, you're still being truthful, and you can still occasionally tickle other people without being unfaithful.
Plus....for all you know, she might blow a gasket when you tell her. She might decide that's just a little too weird for her.
Look at it this way. If you don't tell her, you still have the option to change your mind. If you DO tell her, you'll no longer have that option. You won't be able to put that toothpaste back in the tube.
If you feel you must mention something to her, leave out the sexuality, and just tell her you've always got a kick out of tickling people. That way, you're still being truthful, and you can still occasionally tickle other people without being unfaithful.
Plus....for all you know, she might blow a gasket when you tell her. She might decide that's just a little too weird for her.
Look at it this way. If you don't tell her, you still have the option to change your mind. If you DO tell her, you'll no longer have that option. You won't be able to put that toothpaste back in the tube.
