Shy, scared, embarassed, nervous... ?????

[GreatWhite]

I am not new to the forum or new to the fetish. I am simply so shy about this fetish I can't even say the word "tickle" out loud. I am a "lee" by all means. Extremely ticklish and terrified at the same time. However, I do not trust many as those I have confided in have teased, taunted, made fun of and made me out to be a freak. It's been a horrible experience. I finally met someone who is willing to explore this with me, but I am now so damaged from past relationships....being told "oh, that...." or having it confused that its part of sex,...I am hesitant to let go. Any advice?
I crave it. I dream about it. I pour over stories, both fiction and non-fiction. I'm not crazy or sick. I'm just one girl, who cried too much in her childhood that wants to laugh alot.....and loves to do it in that way.
Sincerely,
GW

 

[JWrite87]

Hi there. I'm new to the forum as well. Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

 

[Myriads]

Hello, and welcome to the posting side of the forum.

What you describe is not an uncommon feeling or experience for many who have found their way here to the TMF. So know that you are not alone in your situation.

What you are experiencing is the process of coming to terms with an aspect of your sexuality. This includes accepting that you like it, AND dealing with others reactions to your sharing this information.

It's not simple. And that is because of a number of reasons that can range from how our culture teaches us we 'should be' and the honest fear of personal rejection that can come from people that we open ourselves to. These are basic things that we all grapple with. It's scary and not much fun.

You say you have an open minded partner that is willing to play with you, and explore your feelings on this aspect of yourself. The main thing you need to get past is that fear of rejection that you learned to expect from your past interactions. Remember that the present is not the past, and this new guy is not any of the ones that mocked you before.

So talk with him. Explore, learn.

Yes it's a risk, but without risk there is no progress. And this is a chance to learn about yourself. Always worth some risk.

Myriads

 

[socktickler86]

Well it's good that you finally started posting 🙂

As Myriad said, this is a good opportunity for you! Don't let the past ruin your future

 

[Angel77]

^ Pretty much what he said......

And welcome to posting!

 

[ticklemepls]

First and foremost, congrats on joining the posting side of our world! 🙂

Ok, now... the greater society looks at anything remotely different as something that is wrong, weird, unacceptable (whatever you wanna use). You've finally found someone who is willing to explore it with you sincerely. If you're hesitant about doing it because of the past, sit down with the person and talk about it first. Let them know that in the past people have teased and taunted you after finding out... If they truly care, they'll be able to tell you they have no intentions of doing such things and be understanding of where you're coming from...

Aside from that... try to relax... i know its hard (trust me) not to base everyone on a past that seems to repeat itself, but seriously- try not to. If you worry too much about it you're not going to relax enough to enjoy it... if you trust this person as a friend or whatever, then trust fully-you only live once and this situation sounds like something you've been waiting for! Jump in feet first (no pun intended), and maybe with a little caution if needed, but try to relax and enjoy the time with this person willing to explore this with you.

... Oh, and of course we're all here if you need someone to talk to 😀

 

[LD_Tickler]

Getting a hard time from people is something we've all worried about, it certainly sucks that you've received flak from people in whom you've confided. For the most part, though, people tend to be ok with it in my experience - it sounds like you've just had bad luck, so don't be discouraged for the future.

Besides, you say you've find somebody who's cool with it? That's awesome, jump right in. It'll do wonders for your confidence.

 

[milagros317]

Welcome as a posting member of the TMF, GreatWhite.

Let me second Myriads' fine advice, explore with him. 😀

 

[gigglemakr]

Hello, Great. Welcome to TMF. I can understand your embarrassment and nervousness based on your past experiences. But you say you have found someone who is willing to explore your desires with you, and that's great. But perhaps even greater is that now that you have found TMF, there are now a whole bunch (hundreds, maybe thousands) of people who will welcome you to (and with) your fantasies and not put you down about them in any way. As Myriads says, it isn't easy to let go of the past, but at TMF at least, your interest in tickling will reach a like-minded audience which will be on your side rather than against you. You might want to consider attending NEST (May 1 weekend in Philadelphia) where you will meet, in person, 100+ ticklephiles (both male and female) who will welcome you with open arms. I know that has been a great experience for me who has been generally a pretty shy person. I have attended for 8 years or so, and plan to attend this year as well. Please P/M me if you'd like to chat further.

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

Welcome Great White.

Pretty much most of us on this forum have been where you are, at earlier stages of our lives. So my advice is don't expect to do too much too soon, until you feel more comfortable with all of this.

Anyway's you have found the TMF and that is a good start, so browse around here until you want to become more actively involved in the debate (or whatever)

 

[tickmankyle1]

hugssssss been there done that and didn't even get a t-shirt. I had that in my last relationship. While in a session with my mate something happened which is to hard to talk about. In general she would go from being ok and into it, to being 1 million % against it. Making me feel weirded out was hard to take so i never knew if she was into it or thinking i was sick and needed help. I think in some way we can all relate to what you are going through. hugsssssssss kyle

 

[WorkInProgress]

GreatWhite: If I may weigh in, I have the feeling that your struggles probably have as much to do with emotional intimacy as they do with tickling. So what I would suggest is to take the whole thing at the pace you're comfortable with, putting emphasis on building a good foundation of friendship and trust, and explore tickling and any other kinds of physicality together as you're comfortable. Whatever kind of relationship it is, the foundation should be emotional trust, and you can both help each other build that up. I hope it works out well.

 

[tickler4u2]

I agree with WorkInProgress. I would add that it sounds like you've been too quick to devulge this part of yourself to the wrong people. I don't know anyone in my life who cares about me that would taunt me about this. Did you come out when you were very young? When I was growing up a boy in my neighborhood was very open about his love of feet from a young age. He was taunted also, I'm sad to say. I used to defend him, not only because I knew I shared the same fetish (didn't even know what a fetish was then), but because I thought it was wrong to tease someone. In a mature relationship where you're connected, the ideal partner will accept this aspect of you. Just like you have to accept all their idiosyncrasies. I guess that's part of being in love.

 

[GreatWhite]

It's more like....I just can't "ask" for it. I don't know why. i want my partner to just take control and do things to me I'm not ready to speak of. I don't want a safe word, though she needs one as she is still learning. I fantasize about it. I just can't put it into words. I can't write about it either....though...after a glass of wine or two I am a little less inhibited. I'm trying. I am guarded.

 

[Maestro1874]

Welcome. WE all have our individual journeys, but hopefully we all reach the same place: Self acceptance.

 

[c7_assassin]

Opening up is very hard... Although I'm sure your significant other would like to know more about what turns you on.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Okay...well, my suggestion is still to concentrate on the quality of the total, overall relationship, keeping in mind that, as you negotiate the physicality of it, each of you needs the other to be sensitive and understanding to your respective needs. You both have to help each other here, and the better your emotional intimacy, the stronger a foundation you'll have.

 

[GreatWhite]

Your perspective is wise, WIP. It's not her that is holding things up, it's me and my comfort level. Remember the days where you wish someone could just read your mind? That's where I'm at. I take your advice to heart, thank you.
GW

 

[darkscar]

I haven't done much posting here in a long time as well. I'm trying acquainted with people here again. Welcome back. I haven't had any experience with tickling anyone nor really talked about it to others. I have a problem with anxiety a lot so it makes it really tough for me to do talk about it or discuss it with people. I also have a problem asking girls out because i don't know if they will accept my fetish or not, so in my line of thinking I'm a bit scared to get in a relationship and they would not accept my fetish, and loose the relationship. Also, I fear that if i enplane it to early on i will scare them off. I am also afraid they will tell people my so called "secret" to people i don't want knowing. I know how the anxiety feels.

 

[hotchoco2312]

I am a guy from India and a hopeful yet unlucky ler. Even i am very shy about opening up with my friends on my fetish. India is not such an open country when it comes to talking abt sex and tickling fetish is an extremely advanced stage of sexual creativity....atleast i think that way. My shyness and confusion prevents me from tickling my female friends even casually coz of the fear of what they might think.

I have tried to search for tickleloving girls on yahoo with no luck. Hoping to get a ticklish girl partner soon

 

[love feet]

I am a guy from India and a hopeful yet unlucky ler. Even i am very shy about opening up with my friends on my fetish. India is not such an open country when it comes to talking abt sex and tickling fetish is an extremely advanced stage of sexual creativity....atleast i think that way. My shyness and confusion prevents me from tickling my female friends even casually coz of the fear of what they might think.

I have tried to search for tickleloving girls on yahoo with no luck. Hoping to get a ticklish girl partner soon

google may help with that

 

[OmahaTickler]

You sound like me, GW, the only difference being that I'm a tickler only. However, I can't utter the words "tickle" or "feet" without feeling uncomfortable--even if it's just in passing and not tied to the fetish -- because I have this deep, dark fear that my facial or other mannerisms might reveal something. I grew up with family and friends who were not into touching beyond a kiss and hug when greeting someone. It wasn't cold. It was a warm, loud, Italian family, but touching was not part of the equation, and the idea of a fetish would have been met with suspicion and derision.

Your angst, I would suggest, simply comes from years of suppressing a part of yourself. I guarantee you that this community will embrace you without judgment or condemnation.

 

[texastickler]

Everyone here has said it all. I will simply add this. There are a lot of great people here. Please come to any of us if you want to chat or if you simply have a question. Sorry for what you have went through but trust me, many of us have gone through it as well.