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So are women "sluts" and men "studs" in your opinion, for the same behavior?

It seems to me that you're saying that since an ugly/obese woman has a harder time getting laid, she should be congratulated as if she were a stud, and no; this is not the case. For one thing, she's still a woman, and can post an NSA ad on Craigslist and have 200 responses within the hour. A man cannot. Fact is, any woman can land a sex partner if she has no standards and that's all she wants. A man, generally, cannot.

Sigh... I even heard of a raped grandma, seriously. [cough]
In a long and extraordinarily eventful bachelorhood interspersed with three legal marriages, two divorces, a few live-ins, countless visits to fetish clubs both alone and with a g/f or wife and all the various problems, scars and traumas attendant on such a past, I've had plenty of time and motivation to study this subject both theoretically and practically, and it ain't pretty.

So, unless she can respond in male fashion, what's the point of a woman being promiscuous?

So we have heard an insightful opinion from a respectable (past) divorcee. We have yet to hear 2nd/3rd/4th/etc opinion from the rest of different life standing:

- one respectable polygamous woman
- one wild porn star
- one happy monogamous woman
- one fornicating catholic priest
- one nymphomaniac
- one marooned astronaut
- one pilot
- one exceptionally genius gorilla

First, there is balance in nature. If women have very strong sex drive as that of men, this world will be X times more populous at alarming rate. Women will then "also" become rapists at large.

Secondly, I was at the zoo once and saw chimpanzees mating and I see a great comparison.... Human males have this gallant initiative to satisfy the woman they truly love or care for.

And what do we have? An evolving contented world. Done.
 
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One more demographic reporting

So we have heard an insightful opinion from a respectable (past) divorcee. We have yet to hear 2nd/3rd/4th/etc opinion from the rest of different life standing:
- one happy monogamous woman

.



I don't know where we are going to get an input from a gorilla, or a priest (at least a priest who's willing to admit he is one) but I fit the happy monogamous category, so I'll weigh in.

Yes, it's harder for guys to get sex than it is for women.

Yes, I would be more likely to label a promiscuous woman a "slut" than I would a promiscuous man.

However, you do, nowadays, get guys who are referred to as "man-*****s" meaning that they aren't discriminating about who they sleep with, and will stick it in anything, to put it crudely. So opinion isn't entirely biased in one direction.

Back when I was single, a man having been promiscuous wouldn't completely put me off a relationship with him, but I would be far more cautious about entering into it than I would be with someone who had had fewer relationships. I would try to make sure that the person had had at least a few longterm, real, relationships, as opposed to a long series of brief flings and one-night stands. If the person had never actually been in a relationship, it would indicate that there was a likelihood of an inability, or a lack of desire, to commit to one person. It seems now that it's harder (for both men and women) to stay with a person than it is to get together with them in the first place- so evidence of the ability to do the former carries even more weight than the latter, IMHO.

Also, there's not much point for a woman to be promiscuous. To put it bluntly, a lot of guys aren't much fun in bed (which covers a whole spectrum of problems, from deficient technique to deficient anatomy) One man said to me once, on a first date: " I'm fit, intelligent, attractive, and we've had a nice time so far. Why NOT sleep with me on a first date?"

I said " Can you guarantee that I'll have more fun with you than I would going home alone and whacking off/clubbing the clam"?

He was quite taken aback by my directness, and stammered: "Well...well...I...uh, well how could I guarantee anything??"

I said "Exactly. You can't. So goodbye, and have a good night."

The point i'm trying to make is, if I'm going to take the leap and sleep with someone, I've got to be relatively sure of several things:

One, that it's going to be a good shag:

Two, that it's not going to be a one night stand:

and three, that I'm not one "name in a little back book", but at that time, the only option for that person. I've never slept with someone that I haven't known for at least a month prior.

So to conclude, for myself, I see no reason to be promiscuous for a woman, as there's no guarantee of fun. I do admit that there are several reasons for a man to be, with the caveat that more caution should be taken, and research done, for a person when approaching relations with a promiscuous man.
 
One man said to me once, on a first date: " I'm fit, intelligent, attractive, and we've had a nice time so far. Why NOT sleep with me on a first date?"

I said " Can you guarantee that I'll have more fun with you than I would going home alone and whacking off/clubbing the clam"?

He was quite taken aback by my directness, and stammered: "Well...well...I...uh, well how could I guarantee anything??"

I said "Exactly. You can't. So goodbye, and have a good night."

What would you have done if he'd smiled and said "Yes, I think I can."?
 
I don't know where we are going to get an input from a gorilla, or a priest (at least a priest who's willing to admit he is one) but I fit the happy monogamous category, so I'll weigh in.

Yes, it's harder for guys to get sex than it is for women.

Yes, I would be more likely to label a promiscuous woman a "slut" than I would a promiscuous man.

However, you do, nowadays, get guys who are referred to as "man-*****s" meaning that they aren't discriminating about who they sleep with, and will stick it in anything, to put it crudely. So opinion isn't entirely biased in one direction.

Back when I was single, a man having been promiscuous wouldn't completely put me off a relationship with him, but I would be far more cautious about entering into it than I would be with someone who had had fewer relationships. I would try to make sure that the person had had at least a few longterm, real, relationships, as opposed to a long series of brief flings and one-night stands. If the person had never actually been in a relationship, it would indicate that there was a likelihood of an inability, or a lack of desire, to commit to one person. It seems now that it's harder (for both men and women) to stay with a person than it is to get together with them in the first place- so evidence of the ability to do the former carries even more weight than the latter, IMHO.

Also, there's not much point for a woman to be promiscuous. To put it bluntly, a lot of guys aren't much fun in bed (which covers a whole spectrum of problems, from deficient technique to deficient anatomy) One man said to me once, on a first date: " I'm fit, intelligent, attractive, and we've had a nice time so far. Why NOT sleep with me on a first date?"

I said " Can you guarantee that I'll have more fun with you than I would going home alone and whacking off/clubbing the clam"?

He was quite taken aback by my directness, and stammered: "Well...well...I...uh, well how could I guarantee anything??"

I said "Exactly. You can't. So goodbye, and have a good night."

The point i'm trying to make is, if I'm going to take the leap and sleep with someone, I've got to be relatively sure of several things:

One, that it's going to be a good shag:

Two, that it's not going to be a one night stand:

and three, that I'm not one "name in a little back book", but at that time, the only option for that person. I've never slept with someone that I haven't known for at least a month prior.

So to conclude, for myself, I see no reason to be promiscuous for a woman, as there's no guarantee of fun. I do admit that there are several reasons for a man to be, with the caveat that more caution should be taken, and research done, for a person when approaching relations with a promiscuous man.

How empowering. Thanks for sharing, KittenToes.

PS. About the gorilla, it's an honest adlib/joke. I keep my fingers crossed for the "fornicating priest." 😉
 
Lets use analogy here. If you have a key that can open not just one lock, but many, that is damn good key!...But if you have a lock that can be opened by virtually any key, that is very bad lock....
 
Nice posting and very much to the point, Kittentoes.

One-night stands make for great fantasy fodder (especially while living through a lengthy dry spell). However, certain sub-optimal experiences have led me to conclude that unless I'm fairly comfortable and familiar with a prospective partner, the machineries of love can seize up pretty quickly! On the other hand, this characteristic has probably saved my bacon in at least one instance. I've bitten the proverbial bullet and turned down at least one fairly sure thing because I knew that the person who'd offered it to me was, while a fine person otherwise, a ticking emotional time bomb and I needed to get out of the blast zone.

And for the record, the double standards applied to male and female sexual behavior have got to go!

While we're on the subject, I skimmed this article on Alternet. I think it has more than a little merit:

AlterNet / By Clarisse Thorn
Why Do We Demonize Men Who Are Honest About Their Sexual Needs?
 
We all enjoy getting laid and we're not horses.


So no studs on either side of the coin.
 
A real pity that MAN-MADE analogy doesn't... fit 😛

Lets use analogy here. If you have a key that can open not just one lock, but many, that is damn good key!...But if you have a lock that can be opened by virtually any key, that is very bad lock....

This comparison was mentioned once earlier, too, not to ignore the many other exceptionally thoughtful posts,

but it occurred to me that this is one "lucky" analogy for the male of the species to have stumbled upon, it's very convenient.
And not at all parallel.

IF ONLY women WERE equipped with such a LOCK :facepalm:
(THAT would really be useful 🙄 )

it would seem to me that the "master keys" would have to be, in order to fit ALL,

the very smallest and most generic of the bunch. 😀


:xbee:
 
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Yes. When I hear of a man having sex with a lot of women I'm envious. But if I hear of a woman being with a lot of men I judge her.
 
Yes. When I hear of a man having sex with a lot of women I'm envious. But if I hear of a woman being with a lot of men I judge her.

I don't condem or condone either. I can't blame somebody for seaking physical pleasure, however I would consern myself with getting something. I don't understand why a woman would want to hook up with a guy who goes from "lock to lock", I mean if he was really any good with his "key" wouldn't somebody put a "ring on it" (as Beyonce would say)?. I would also have to wonder about the mental stability of a woman who would allow any "Key into her lock". Women like that give me Fatal Atraction nightmares.
 
My bachelorhood has taught me that there's a lot of diversity in human desire. Which is why I try not to judge.

My bachelorhood has mostly taught me that there's lots of women out there who enjoy sex with no strings attached, and that I'm more than happy to oblige. 😀
 
I don't condem or condone either. I can't blame somebody for seaking physical pleasure, however I would consern myself with getting something. I don't understand why a woman would want to hook up with a guy who goes from "lock to lock", I mean if he was really any good with his "key" wouldn't somebody put a "ring on it" (as Beyonce would say)?. I would also have to wonder about the mental stability of a woman who would allow any "Key into her lock". Women like that give me Fatal Atraction nightmares.

Speaking as a guy who goes from "lock to lock", the reason is very simple, I just don't want to settle down with somebody. (did that for a few years, but I'm more than happy to have my freedom back)

Being able to have sex with an interesting woman you've just met without having to worry about anything is truly wonderful. And if you need to get laid you just make some calls to see if there are women you've encountered previously who feel the same or go to a bar and you've got your satisfaction (and hopefully theirs).
 
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