So. Sick. Of dating.

[Bohemianne]

When did guys start worrying and commenting on relationships, that is such a girl thing.

^ You just made it obvious. Actually the men of the forum do it either in par or 2 strikes or worst.

 

[rhiannon]

And there's the rub, "both parties accepting".
Introducing a third person into any relationship complicates things to no end;
it's hard enough w/ two.
A tug-o'-war will eventually ensue.

I agree. Most people are not made to have a third person in a relationship. It may work for a while, but sooner or later it blows up.

 

[Morpheus72]

For the guys who are suggesting/insisting that the fact that Amanda is in a D/s relationship with Lee means that she's interested in women on a romantic level...think again.

A lot of us on this forum know that this type of relationship can be separate from a romantic one. Unfortunately, I could see those in the vanilla world thinking that one relationship leads to the other. That's why I think Amanda is going to have trouble finding a partner in the vanilla world.

Though I spend a fair amount of time on the forums, I'm a lot more vanilla than most of you that post regularly, and when I first read about Lee and Amanda's relationship, I thought they were "hooked up" as well. It seems as though this will continue to be a sticking point to anyone not very familiar with the nuances of the Lee and Amanda's situation. The comment about the difficulty of having a situation involving three people is also on point. Groups of three in friendships don't seem to work out as well, since someone often feels left out.

In any case, I hope it works out for you, Amanda, from what I've read of you, you seem like a great person!

Dave

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

And there's the rub, "both parties accepting".

You actually misquoted that. I said ALL parties involved, not both. I agree that finding someone understanding of another relationship will be difficult. But, I commend her for making the attempt. All too often, we don't have what we want simply because we're afraid to try...or others convince us that it's impossible.

A lot of us on this forum know that this type of relationship can be separate from a romantic one. Unfortunately, I could see those in the vanilla world thinking that one relationship leads to the other. That's why I think Amanda is going to have trouble finding a partner in the vanilla world.

Agreed. I was speaking more to the idea of one being present having to mean the other is as well. Communication is critical in any relationship. As long as she's up front about things, she has every right to seek what she hopes for...without others interfering.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

For the guys who are suggesting/insisting that the fact that Amanda is in a D/s relationship with Lee means that she's interested in women on a romantic level...think again. Just because most guys are homophobic and won't touch another guy doesn't mean that women are the same in that regard. While the two can go together beautifully, they don't HAVE to always be together.

Once again, we're not looking at an either/or situation. There's nothing wrong with both/and...as long as all parties involved are accepting of it. That's where the struggle comes in. Many folks just don't get it...or think that they do and vehemently reject it based on their ignorance of the reality of it.

Thank you Ann. Unfortunately the ignorant are generally
happy being exactly that.

Ya know, Amanda, I could end all of your sexual frustration in about 5 minutes.
Hell-oooo Kitty!

asl?

I agree. Most people are not made to have a third person in a relationship. It may work for a while, but sooner or later it blows up.

What about those who have been together for 10 years? 20 years?
I didn't realize you were an expert on polyamory.

A lot of us on this forum know that this type of relationship can be separate from a romantic one. Unfortunately, I could see those in the vanilla world thinking that one relationship leads to the other. That's why I think Amanda is going to have trouble finding a partner in the vanilla world.

Though I spend a fair amount of time on the forums, I'm a lot more vanilla than most of you that post regularly, and when I first read about Lee and Amanda's relationship, I thought they were "hooked up" as well. It seems as though this will continue to be a sticking point to anyone not very familiar with the nuances of the Lee and Amanda's situation. The comment about the difficulty of having a situation involving three people is also on point. Groups of three in friendships don't seem to work out as well, since someone often feels left out.

In any case, I hope it works out for you, Amanda, from what I've read of you, you seem like a great person!

Dave

You're a sweet guy, Dave. I appreciate your kind and mature words.

 

[..Glamorous..]

What's with all the sticks in asses, in this thread?


Smoke some frigin dope and chill people. No one is going to know how you are unless they know you. They will also ALWAYS assume the worst.


I love you, and I'll marry you. <3

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I love you, and I'll marry you. <3

ILY2HERPESTHEREYAGO

 

[darkstain]

For the guys who are suggesting/insisting that the fact that Amanda is in a D/s relationship with Lee means that she's interested in women on a romantic level...think again.

For the ladies who are suggesting/insisting that Amanda's D/s relationship is the only evidence of her interest in women on a romantic level....think again.

There have been pics posted of Amanda snuggling with CrystalLight, and also with Lee. I'm not talking about a warm hug. There's some serious love going on there. I've seen at least one picture of her kissing a woman. CrystalLight, probably, but I can't quite remember. But I can't count all the ILY's she's thrown toward CrystalLight and other women. Then there's this recent exchange:

I love you, and I'll marry you. <3

ILY2HERPESTHEREYAGO

So can you fine ladies just stop pretending that we guys are jumping to some unreasonable conclusion when we point out Amanda's clear and obvious romantic interests in other women? We're not inventing this. We're experts in the field of interest in women so we know of what we speak.

 

[Adam]

There a point to all of this, Drew?

 

[rhiannon]

What about those who have been together for 10 years? 20 years?
I didn't realize you were an expert on polyamory.

I totally love it when people jump on the "What do you know, are you an expert?"-wagon as soon as they hear something they don't like to hear!

I don't have to be an expert, I just have to look around me. How many people outside of this community do you know who live in polyarmory? Sure, there are a selected few who actually practice it, but the big majority would never do it.

I have been together with my husband for 10 years and sure as hell would kick his ass if he suggested we take a third person into our relationship, and he would do the same thing. My parents are together for 40 years....same thing with them!

If someone lives in polyarmory, it sure has nothing to do with the length of their relationship. You have to have a very special attitude towards life and love, and most people just don't have that! Most people do not feel comfortable sharing their partner.

Even couples who visit swinger clubs often get in trouble when actual feelings and love come into play.

I have yet to experience a friendship (!) with more than two people where jealousy never becomes an issue, but a relationship? Rarer than hitting the lotto jackpot!

There have been pics posted of Amanda snuggling with CrystalLight, and also with Lee. I'm not talking about a warm hug. There's some serious love going on there. I've seen at least one picture of her kissing a woman. CrystalLight, probably, but I can't quite remember. But I can't count all the ILY's she's thrown toward CrystalLight and other women.

Uh...that is an indication for nothing. Women do that. Without being lesbian or even bi. 🙂

 

[ElFewja]

This thread makes me sad. Every girl I have ever even been remotely close with has called me a creeper. Apparently, I stand no chances. Super sad face.

I don't see a problem with the OP's relationship in relation to a romantic relationship. If there is nothing going on sexually, then what is the big deal?

To the guy who commented about snuggling: Yes, girls do that. That doesn't automatically make it mean something. Girls are more touchy-feely. I think that you're projecting that, for you yourself to have such physical interactions, that there must be some sexual/emotional involvement for everyone else.

But then, I can accept their relationship, because every close experience I have had with women has shown me that those individuals are very emotionally detached. Not to say that they were not emotional, but that their emotions were not attached to anything in particular; emotion for the emotion's sake rather than emotion for something smart sounding. Well, my ex is a psychotic succubus who threatens to devour my soul, so hm.

The point is, something clever.

I'm sad that I wasn't the first to bring up friendships. Seriously, on the tug-of-war idea that someone thinks they have to own someone (therefore nobody else can have that person), I've seen this a LOT in friendships. A relationship blows up a friendship or vice versa. I would think that this particular situation would make the relationship hard, but then... well, it shouldn't matter? If the OP is true in describing it how it is, are the two really any more than friends? In that case, isn't the other person the relationship kind of a jerk demanding ownership of another person?

Hm. I have no idea if anything I wrote is even remotely coherent. I'm going to sleep now.

Etc.

 

[ma1926]

Yea, dating is such a hastle. Why can't we be more like India and have our marriages arranged at birth. That saves so much time and effort, and best of all, you don't have to worry about making an impression 🙂 .

 

[rhiannon]

If there is nothing going on sexually, then what is the big deal?

The big deal is that most people will just not believe nothing is going on sexually. Even people here have difficulties imagining it, although they are not vanilla, because when you hear about a dom/sub relationship, about a BDSM-relationship, you automatically think it has a sexual part.

I mean...part of it is people playing wearing little to no clothes....go figure.

 

[Master Baiter]

asl?

Hahahaha!
You know, with your sense of humor, you can have the pick of the litter!

 

[TropicThunder]

For the ladies who are suggesting/insisting that Amanda's D/s relationship is the only evidence of her interest in women on a romantic level....think again.

There have been pics posted of Amanda snuggling with CrystalLight, and also with Lee. I'm not talking about a warm hug. There's some serious love going on there. I've seen at least one picture of her kissing a woman. CrystalLight, probably, but I can't quite remember. But I can't count all the ILY's she's thrown toward CrystalLight and other women. Then there's this recent exchange:





So can you fine ladies just stop pretending that we guys are jumping to some unreasonable conclusion when we point out Amanda's clear and obvious romantic interests in other women? We're not inventing this. We're experts in the field of interest in women so we know of what we speak.

Why does any of this matter to you?

Honestly. I want to know.

 

[darkstain]

Why does any of this matter to you?

Honestly. I want to know.

It doesn't matter to me any more or less than it does to you or to anybody else in this thread. I'm not dodging the question. I'm just not sure how to answer it, as I don't see my involvement being indicative of anything beyond legitimate interest.

Let's face it. There are very few interesting threads. People leaving but not really leaving. People sharing random news articles without offering a word of commentary. People responding to posts with a single word, acronym or emoticon. There's very little in the way of creativity or originality going on.

So when a thread comes along like this one...you know, one that's actually interesting and thought provoking...my level of interest is understandably more noticeable.

Then when opinions and observations are challenged...and in some cases, rudely challenged...I tend to return the "courtesy." If that seems petty to you, I won't argue. But in truth I think of it more as holding people accountable.

 

[TropicThunder]

It doesn't matter to me any more or less than it does to you or to anybody else in this thread. I'm not dodging the question. I'm just not sure how to answer it, as I don't see my involvement being indicative of anything beyond legitimate interest.

Let's face it. There are very few interesting threads. People leaving but not really leaving. People sharing random news articles without offering a word of commentary. People responding to posts with a single word, acronym or emoticon. There's very little in the way of creativity or originality going on.

So when a thread comes along like this one...you know, one that's actually interesting and thought provoking...my level of interest is understandably more noticeable.

Then when opinions and observations are challenged...and in some cases, rudely challenged...I tend to return the "courtesy." If that seems petty to you, I won't argue. But in truth I think of it more as holding people accountable.

Fair enough.

 

[unclebill]

It doesn't matter to me any more or less than it does to you or to anybody else in this thread. I'm not dodging the question. I'm just not sure how to answer it, as I don't see my involvement being indicative of anything beyond legitimate interest.

Let's face it. There are very few interesting threads. People leaving but not really leaving. People sharing random news articles without offering a word of commentary. People responding to posts with a single word, acronym or emoticon. There's very little in the way of creativity or originality going on.

So when a thread comes along like this one...you know, one that's actually interesting and thought provoking...my level of interest is understandably more noticeable.

Then when opinions and observations are challenged...and in some cases, rudely challenged...I tend to return the "courtesy." If that seems petty to you, I won't argue. But in truth I think of it more as holding people accountable.

Well said, Mr. Stain. I find your candor to be most refreshing. Although I must say, I prefer a natural lacquer finish over dark stain.

Amanda, your slave relationship with another woman......whether its sexual or not will raise a red flag with nearly all men when it comes to dating. Is there someone out there for you??? In my opinion the answer is yes, but its gonna take time and patience on your part. I think taking a break from dating is a wise idea, and perhaps later in the year men won`t seem so "yucky" to you.

 

[..Glamorous..]

So can you fine ladies just stop pretending that we guys are jumping to some unreasonable conclusion when we point out Amanda's clear and obvious romantic interests in other women? We're not inventing this. We're experts in the field of interest in women so we know of what we speak.

Okay, so since a good friend told me she loves me and snuggles with her bffs, that makes her a lesbian? Now I think I've heard everything.

 

[Bohemianne]

I prefer a natural lacquer finish over dark stain.

Refreshing! Must be the knots, you know...

-o0o-

Folks,

There is only one word: LOVE...
Do you think being gay or lesbo matters at all?

When people take this relationship crap seriously, there is only time and space ever after, then they have to give up 50% of freedom to tolerate each other's genetic mishap on one long span of marital or premarital wasteland.

If there is no love, it won't even last a single blink.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Amanda, your slave relationship with another woman......whether its sexual or not will raise a red flag with nearly all men when it comes to dating. Is there someone out there for you??? In my opinion the answer is yes, but its gonna take time and patience on your part. I think taking a break from dating is a wise idea, and perhaps later in the year men won`t seem so "yucky" to you.

That's sweet of you to say, thank you 🙂

Hahahaha!
You know, with your sense of humor, you can have the pick of the litter!

Sweet! Where are we going for our first date?

I totally love it when people jump on the "What do you know, are you an expert?"-wagon as soon as they hear something they don't like to hear!

That's not at all what's happening here. You do have a tendency to jump
into conversations and state "facts" about things you openly admit to not
having any experience with. The truth is there are numerous happy poly
couples/groups/families that exist. You just have to look beyond your
friends, swinger clubs, and the TMF. 😉

 

[dad2]

Okay, so since a good friend told me she loves me and snuggles with her bffs, that makes her a lesbian?

When they sleep together and are spooning, then yeah, that's sort of what you'd call a general indicator. 🙄

 

[..Glamorous..]

When they sleep together and are spooning, then yeah, that's sort of what you'd call a general indicator. 🙄

Uhm, no it isn't. Every time one of my best friends spends the night, they sleep in the bed with me. EVERY GIRL I KNOW DOES THIS.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Uhm, no it isn't. Every time one of my best friends spends the night, they sleep in the bed with me. EVERY GIRL I KNOW DOES THIS.

So wait, when you invited me over was it just for the bbq or is this like a package thing where I get this as well?

Just so you know though, I am NOT wearing Hello Kitty no matter how amazing yer bewbs is.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

When they sleep together and are spooning, then yeah, that's sort of what you'd call a general indicator. 🙄

Awwwww

So wait, when you invited me over was it just for the bbq or is this like a package thing where I get this as well?

Just so you know though, I am NOT wearing Hello Kitty no matter how amazing yer bewbs is.

YES YOU ARE