Sobering thought about TOO MUCH Tickling

[njjen3953]

Sometimes, re-enactment of a trauma can be healing.

When I was 12 years old, I was a very introverted kid. Hard to belive, huh?

Anyway. I was 5'3, 120lbs. with a 36D chest. I was a little girl in a woman's body and the boys were very "intrigued" by me.

That summer, I was away at camp and five, 14 year old boys decided to have their ways with me. They confined me in their cabin during free camper time. No one was allowed in the cabins during that time, so there were no counselors around. One at a time, the boys told me what they wanted from me and of course, I resisited. Through their pawing at me, my intense ticklishness was discovered and used against me. All 5 of them held me down and tickled me until I was crying and finally agreed to let them do what they wanted to me sexually.
I was totured and eventually gang raped by them. I was threatened that if I ever told anyone, they would do it again. Apparently, they did not trust that I would keep quiet and this torture went on every day for the entire summer.

I was so scared that I never mentioned it to anyone until 15 years later in a therapy session. Every time I heard the word tickle I panicked, but it also became something that I thought about constantly.

Through psychodrama(re-encactment therapy) I not only healed, but found tickling to be a huge turn on and a great form of foreplay.

Essentially, I took a traumatic situation and found the positive in it. I had made the decision to be a survivor instead of a victim.

I do not condone abuse and strongly advocate consent, but I do believe that what I went through as a child, helped me become what I am today. A stronger person and a kinkster. 😉

 

[Murtagh]

I think the word is not "non-consenual" but "excess". Which is unfortunatly hard to define. It's different for each person. I know people who wouldn't mind getting that kind of attention for an extended amount of time, I also know people who get very defensive if you even mention tickling. For some restraint is considered excessive. For others you can hold them down just don't do it for too long. The thing is you can tickle people without their permission, you just have to know what point is considered excessive. I mean I tickle my female friends all the time without their permission, but it's forgiven because I don't cross that line with them. But then again I respect women, where as those who abuse clearly don't.

~Just my two cents.

 

[BigJim]

Re: Sometimes, re-enactment of a trauma can be healing.

Essentially, I took a traumatic situation and found the positive in it. I had made the decision to be a survivor instead of a victim.

... but I do believe that what I went through as a child, helped me become what I am today. A stronger person and a kinkster. 😉

Amen. Applicable to me also, but not in the same circumstances.

 

[Destro]

I find it interesting that this thread was started by TIB. Didn't he say that the reason he no longer has Sara as a ticklee was because she thought he took it too far on the last video that she made and refused to do any more with him? (Blondes at Play) I also have "Amanda's Challenge", another TC video. In that one, Amanda is given a safe word "Silver Mustang". She is told she would win money if she could withstand the tickle torture, but would lose if she said the safe word. Well, she couldn't take it and said the safe word, but TIB went right on tickling her for several minutes afterward. At the end, there is a message that said that he gave her the money anyway since he kept up the tickling after the safe word. I guess that made it okay. What I am saying is that TIB is questioning something that he, himself, has put into practice more than once. I wonder what his thoughts on the subject are? Yes, I know these models agreed to the tickling and were paid, but there seems to be a consensus that this behavior is still bad. Is there a double standard? He is giving us what we want, but we are saying that such behavior is bad. Does that make us bad?

 

[U.N.Owen]

-Destro: I'd agree there's a potential problem there. I don't buy videos and was not aware of the incident you refer to, but I confess I don't like the sound of it. If any peson -- model or not -- agreed to a safeword as a condition, and the safeword was not respected, trust was violated and that person was not treated fairly. Period. Now, with videos I'm always suspicious of behind-the-scenes agreements: did she genuinely expect it to stop then, or had they agreed otherwise? It's basically a staged situation. What exactly is 'real'?

-Murtagh: I agree, the meaning of "non-consent" depends on context. Almost all playful tickles are technically nonconsensual. But most people would agree that there is a kind of social consent for such actions, if they stay LIMITED, as in the examples you cited. If a person is given a friendly tickle and laughs and plays along, no problem. If they get mad or seem genuinely upset, the tickler should stop. So indeed, excess and context are the keys. Still, I think when most people talk about non-consent situations, they mean more extreme tickling without permission. So excess and non-consent kind of get bound together, if you see what I mean.

-Njjen: You deserve a LOT of credit for being able not only to survive such abuse emotionally, but even to derive something positive from it. You obviously have great strength of character. The animals who did that to you, on the other hand, belonged in jail.

 

[TickleMantis]

People who harm children should be locked up until a cure for pedophillia is found.

There is a cure, its nine milimeters long and moves very very quickly piercing the offenders skull.

 

[Morning Angel]

Morning Angel, I love the way you put this.

when you said, “I was tickled a great deal as a child, never to the point of physical harm, but to the point where I became afraid of being tickled. Even once I realised that there was a certain amount of pleasure mixed in with the fear, it took me years to accept it and overcome the fear.”

it put a few things into words, that I wasn't really sure how to.

and I also couldn’t agree more with, “I can understand how some people can be traumatized by too much tickling in their childhoods. For anyone to take such advantage of a child's vulnerability is a terrible thing.”

and, “If someone associates only bad things with tickling, then you MUST respect that. They may be willing to try getting over their trauma, but at their own pace.”

thanks for posting.

Thanks Ayla🙂

Njjen: WOW. To have the courage not only to deal with a trauma like that head-on but to also recognise something good in it takes real strength. I have so much respect for people like you and BigJim who not only survive but empower themselves.

 

[toneus79]

Sorry guys I have been away from the PC for a few days so I haven't had a chance to follow up. Anyway:

BIG JIM: Yes I am talking about the form of Tickling that we all know and love. After all kissing ones young niece for example, is not in the same context as kissing (say) Nicole Kidman.

TICKLEMANTIS: I am not sure of the point you're making. The point I am making however, is for a woman to be non consenually tickled, would be as much fun/pleasurable for her, as it would be for us macho guys (like 5ft 7inch me) to be Tickled by someone like 'Boy George' (no offence to George, who has made some fine music in his time).

 

[BigJim]

There is a cure, its nine milimeters long and moves very very quickly piercing the offenders skull.

Wide, not long. 😀 😛

 

[Oddjob0226]

There is a cure, its nine milimeters long and moves very very quickly piercing the offenders skull.

Which is why they don't come forward to deal with their issues. So they hide. So we can't see them. So they grow. Then they create victims, rather than we preventing victims.

And too much tickling is bad.

Ha! Kept it on topic! Right there! 3 points!!!! I am victorious! But you can call me Vick.

 

[BigJim]

Which is why they don't come forward to deal with their issues. So they hide. So we can't see them. So they grow. Then they create victims, rather than we preventing victims.

Wise words.

And enlightened. Get them to to confront it themselves before they blight the lives of any children and you don't have a problem that requires imprisonment or execution.

 

[TickleMantis]

Its not that I don't want to get into a debate about the death penalty and monsters who try to claim they are still worthy of living, I like a friendly debate. But I'm sure you'll agree it would be rude to hijack this thread. 😀

 

[Oddjob0226]

Its not that I don't want to get into a debate about the death penalty and monsters who try to claim they are still worthy of living, I like a friendly debate. But I'm sure you'll agree it would be rude to hijack this thread. 😀

I disagree! I also have a problem with some of the copyright laws as currently written. Take me to Cuba!

 

[kis123]

Which is why they don't come forward to deal with their issues. So they hide. So we can't see them. So they grow. Then they create victims, rather than we preventing victims.

Although I quite enjoyed the nine mil reference, OddJob has a point. Look at the situation for the perpetrator's perspective. Not only does he (or she) have a sexual problem, they like doin' it with little kids. That's why the only way we find out about them is when they get exposed. By then, a whole lot of kids have been hurt.

I used to live next door to a family of four, the oldest was fifteen at the time. The family was very spiritual and attended church regularly. They were the only people who helped me and my family after I lost my mother and had suffered an emotional breakdown. Nice family, right?

That fifteen yr old girl turned out to be a pedophile. She was abused by her stepfather and he taught her how to rape her brothers and sisters (through tickling them). She went through 12 foster homes and was considered unadoptable by the county. So how did this girl end up being adopted into a home where she raped her three adopted siblings and a three year old? When she no longer got access to kids, she'd run away from home to crackhouses to get sex. Her adoptive family tried everything they could to help her but eventually turned her back over to the county. By now she'd be 24, provided she's even still alive.

There's a lot to be overcome when it comes to getting these people the help they need. But, if one of them would ever do anything to my children, someone better lock me up first if they expect that person to live to ever get any help!

 

[kis123]

Re: Sometimes, re-enactment of a trauma can be healing.

Essentially, I took a traumatic situation and found the positive in it. I had made the decision to be a survivor instead of a victim.

I do not condone abuse and strongly advocate consent, but I do believe that what I went through as a child, helped me become what I am today. A stronger person and a kinkster. 😉

Your story is compelling to say the least. I went through a similar situation as a child between the stepdad and the stepbrothers. Being a husky built chick, I got way more attention from the older men (30s, 40s) than a thirteen year old would ever want.

You have guts and give new meaning to the term "survivor". Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[BigJim]

Although I quite enjoyed the nine mil reference, OddJob has a point. Look at the situation for the perpetrator's perspective. Not only does he (or she) have a sexual problem, they like doin' it with little kids. That's why the only way we find out about them is when they get exposed. By then, a whole lot of kids have been hurt.

Hmmm, I agree. If someone actually indulges their predilictions then the law should come down on them like a ton of hot shit, but people who have them and seek help to stop them doing it are unbelievably brave.

I used to live next door to a family of four, the oldest was fifteen at the time. The family was very spiritual and attended church regularly. They were the only people who helped me and my family after I lost my mother and had suffered an emotional breakdown. Nice family, right?

That fifteen yr old girl turned out to be a pedophile. She was abused by her stepfather and he taught her how to rape her brothers and sisters (through tickling them). She went through 12 foster homes and was considered unadoptable by the county. So how did this girl end up being adopted into a home where she raped her three adopted siblings and a three year old? When she no longer got access to kids, she'd run away from home to crackhouses to get sex. Her adoptive family tried everything they could to help her but eventually turned her back over to the county. By now she'd be 24, provided she's even still alive.

There's a lot to be overcome when it comes to getting these people the help they need. But, if one of them would ever do anything to my children, someone better lock me up first if they expect that person to live to ever get any help!

A good example of why I don't agree with the death penalty. It's rare that someone who commits a horrifying crime is that way by dint of a freak of nature. 19 out of 20 times it's that they were tortured or abused by someone else and were twisted that way artificially. Charles Manson, one of the most notorious mass-murderers in modern America was abused, buggered, battered and shafted throughout most of his formative years. I'm definately not saying that someone who harms others should be let off if their twistedness is inorganic, but everything should be taken into account.

Someone who comes through such an ordeal with a balanced personality and stable mind is someone worthy of the utmost admiration. It must be the most arduous test of spirit and character I can imagine.

Also a good example of why I seperate the terms "religious" and "spiritual".

 

[kis123]

A good example of why I don't agree with the death penalty. It's rare that someone who commits a horrifying crime is that way by dint of a freak of nature. 19 out of 20 times it's that they were tortured or abused by someone else and were twisted that way artificially. Charles Manson, one of the most notorious mass-murderers in modern America was abused, buggered, battered and shafted throughout most of his formative years. I'm definately not saying that someone who harms others should be let off if their twistedness is inorganic, but everything should be taken into account.

Someone who comes through such an ordeal with a balanced personality and stable mind is someone worthy of the utmost admiration. It must be the most arduous test of spirit and character I can imagine.

Are we really going to use this thread to hash out the death penalty issue? I really don't want to go there.

What amazes me is that for everyone that has committed horrific crimes because of their past, there are many more who suffered abuse, molestation, incest, and many other unimaginable crimes against them that chose not to hurt others, not even the SOB's that abused them in the first place, including myself. Enough was taken away from me, and I didn't want my freedom taken away from me too. That is enough to keep me grounded, because I would owe a lot of people payback for the abuse that was heaped upon me. I had to learn to move on before the bitterness eventually would've killed me.

Although many of the people who are in jail now have a history of an abusive upbringing, they lacked the self-control and saw fit (chose) to hurt another human being (sometimes innocent, sometimes the perpetrator of the abuse).

As far as Charles Manson is concerned, he is an animal that got others to do his evil dirtywork. His flock killed several inncocent people including a pregnant woman. And he had no problem letting the others fry for his plotted crime spree. He is a psychopath that should've been boiled in oil! He is a waste of taxpayer dollars if I've ever seen one. No abusive upbringing and background excuses what he did at all! They've given the needle to far less violent criminals than him.

That's all I really wanted to say. Before this turns into a death penalty thread, I'll simply agree to disagree. I'm still reeling from a couple of previous threads and I'm not much in a mood for a debate. Something else to think about, I guess.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Are we really going to use this thread to hash out the death penalty issue? I really don't want to go there.

True, true. This is really about less volatile issues like abortion (since Manson was an unwanted child) and where-is-your-tax-money-going (since he was beaten and analy raped on a nearly daily basis as a child by agents of the state that were supposed to care for him). And in a strange 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon situation his followers end up killing the wife of Roman Polanski - who later rapes a 13 year old girl! It's like rain on your wedding day, or a free ride - when you've already paid! A black fly in your Chardonnae or 10,000 forks when all you need is a chopstick....

 

[kis123]

True, true. This is really about less volatile issues like abortion (since Manson was an unwanted child) and where-is-your-tax-money-going (since he was beaten and analy raped on a nearly daily basis as a child by agents of the state that were supposed to care for him). And in a strange 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon situation his followers end up killing the wife of Roman Polanski - who later rapes a 13 year old girl! It's like rain on your wedding day, or a free ride - when you've already paid! A black fly in your Chardonnae or 10,000 forks when all you need is a chopstick....

Ok, maybe I'm a little slow on the uptake, but is this actually in agreement with what I said, or is this some form of sarcasm? Since you quoted me, help me understand your point.

There are many unwanted children walking around here today. Not all of them ended up mass murderers. There are people who suffered rape and abuse at the hands of caregivers. Not all of them ended up mass murderers either.

Roman Polanski was and is still a pig, but what does that have to do with his then pregnant wife being tortured and killed by Manson's flock?

I can understand how Manson got to be the way he ended up. What I don't understand and what no one has successfully explained to me, is why didn't the people who experienced some of the same things as Manson (or worse) not kill innocent people or take their problems out on others? Why isn't everyone who has been abused in jail right now? What separates us from the Charles Mansons of the world? He's not the only one with an abuse history story by a long shot.

Nice reference to the Alanis Morrisette song, though.

 

[ticklebutton]

What I don't understand and what no one has successfully explained to me, is why...isn't everyone who has been abused in jail right now? What separates us from the Charles Mansons of the world?

People who have successfully overcome their own abuse to grow up to be healthy, kind adults had something the Mansons of the world did not.

Resilience & Healthy Coping Skills. These can come from many sources:

Having a strong healthy brain construction that is able to withstand damage,

having a support systems of siblings and/or friends,

being found by an agency that identifies at-risk children and takes steps to help them,

having a healing spiritual life,

having an absorbing intellectual life,

having a strong connection to nature,

and so on.

These kinds of things help minimize the damage so that a child's personality can recover & develop in healthy ways.

Button

 

[ticklebutton]

Yep, Oddjob - that Polanski & Manson connection is a really interesting coincidence/synchronicity.

Button 😎

 

[kis123]

People who have successfully overcome their own abuse to grow up to be healthy, kind adults had something the Mansons of the world did not.

Resilience & Healthy Coping Skills. These can come from many sources:

Having a strong healthy brain construction that is able to withstand damage,

having a support systems of siblings and/or friends,

being found by an agency that identifies at-risk children and takes steps to help them,

having a healing spiritual life,

having an absorbing intellectual life,

having a strong connection to nature,

and so on.

These kinds of things help minimize the damage so that a child's personality can recover & develop in healthy ways.

Button

This is a reasonable response to my question. Doesn't cover all the bases, but, what in life does? Thank you for your input.

 

[tickler_n_black]

um...

recently we approached a beautiful woman about being in a tickling video and this is what she had to say:

"Unfortunately, I can’t stand to be tickled… I had some very bad experiences as a child… I was traumatized by family members."

so. what are your thoughts on her past experiences with being tickled?

 

[kis123]

I find it interesting that this thread was started by TIB. Didn't he say that the reason he no longer has Sara as a ticklee was because she thought he took it too far on the last video that she made and refused to do any more with him? (Blondes at Play) I also have "Amanda's Challenge", another TC video. In that one, Amanda is given a safe word "Silver Mustang". She is told she would win money if she could withstand the tickle torture, but would lose if she said the safe word. Well, she couldn't take it and said the safe word, but TIB went right on tickling her for several minutes afterward. At the end, there is a message that said that he gave her the money anyway since he kept up the tickling after the safe word. I guess that made it okay. What I am saying is that TIB is questioning something that he, himself, has put into practice more than once. I wonder what his thoughts on the subject are? Yes, I know these models agreed to the tickling and were paid, but there seems to be a consensus that this behavior is still bad. Is there a double standard? He is giving us what we want, but we are saying that such behavior is bad. Does that make us bad?

Does TIB wish to address this poster's comment? After all, you are attempting to get us back to your original post, right?

 

[kis123]

I find it interesting that this thread was started by TIB. Didn't he say that the reason he no longer has Sara as a ticklee was because she thought he took it too far on the last video that she made and refused to do any more with him? (Blondes at Play) I also have "Amanda's Challenge", another TC video. In that one, Amanda is given a safe word "Silver Mustang". She is told she would win money if she could withstand the tickle torture, but would lose if she said the safe word. Well, she couldn't take it and said the safe word, but TIB went right on tickling her for several minutes afterward. At the end, there is a message that said that he gave her the money anyway since he kept up the tickling after the safe word. I guess that made it okay. What I am saying is that TIB is questioning something that he, himself, has put into practice more than once. I wonder what his thoughts on the subject are? Yes, I know these models agreed to the tickling and were paid, but there seems to be a consensus that this behavior is still bad. Is there a double standard? He is giving us what we want, but we are saying that such behavior is bad. Does that make us bad?

Does TIB wish to address this poster's comment? After all, you are attempting to get us back to your original post, right?