Some newbie questions about tickling

[SN16]

Hi there. I stumbled upon this site accidentally - I thought I knew all the fetishes, but I guess not! I'm shocked I never heard about this before, because it sounds fun. If you would be willing to indulge me, I have a few questions.

I consider myself to be submissive in the bedroom (only in the bedroom, though,) and I don't like a lot of pain. I like orders and to be uncomfortable. I like to be controlled, and tickling seems like an awesome way for that to happen. I was wondering if you consider yourself doms or subs too, or if you only tickle and aren't interested in the other dynamics. I understand the terms used here are 'ler and 'lee, but I am not sure if they are basically equal to dom and sub or ..... ?

I'd also like to ask if there's anyone on here who, in the right situations, of course, doesn't want the tickling to turn sexual. I'm assuming that people like this because it turns them on, but is that ever not the case? Would there be a situation where you would tickle someone and it would not move to sex (unless you were intentionally denying it for some reason?)

Also, does/can the tickling involve more sexual areas, like the breasts? Or do people usually stick to more "classic" ticklish areas like the feet?

Thanks for indulging the newbie. I'm really interested in (and turned on by) this!

 

[TropicThunder]

You're going to get so many answers from so many different people.

My personal preference - tickling can be platonic and it can be sexual for me. I like to incorporate all sorts of other kinks too. It can sometimes lead to sex, sometimes not. If its just play between friends, then that's all well and good. You could almost say that we substitue lee and ler, but its really just to distinguish the roles. One person is a tickler, one person is a ticklee. It doesn't always have the same dynamic as D/S roles.

And tickling can pretty much involve any part of the body. It all depends on your preferences. Tickling can be fun in the bedroom because its a "painless pain"

If you're really curious, check out the different styles and variety they offer in the images, or in the video clips section. That should give you an idea. Companies all have different styles, ranging from pretty soft to all out hardcore XXX.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Tickling is mostly sexual for me. I only really play with people close to my age that I have an attraction to. I usually get really horny and want something sexual afterwards. The something sexual afterwards isn't always intercourse. Sometimes I just want a good hard finger fucking after I'm intensely tickled and I'll return the favor to my ler with fingering, oral, hand job, or foot job.

I am really into punishment and I am not pain slut. I don't mind being grabbed by the hair and I can take some spanking and bastinado, but that is it. I love tickling as a way to control me because it isn't painful. I'm also into fear play and a good ler can scare the hell out of me which in turn makes me aroused.

You really can tickle anywhere you want. I've had my breast and clit tickled. Tickling is sexual for me, so it was hot. I also have a foot fetish, so having my feet tickled turns me on too.

Now about lee/ler equaling D/S kind of similar. I usually think of D/S being more hardcore, but then again there are some pretty hardcore lee/ler's. Tickling can range from mild to intense. Of course there are also switches in tickling too. We like to lee and ler. I agree with Tropic on the look around at our video and image sections. It will be the best way for you to learn about this fetish.

 

[milagros317]

First, welcome to the TMF, SN16, and congratulations on making your first post. 😀 This is a wonderful place, have fun here.

For me, tickling is a part of BDSM and being a ticklee is a way of being submissive to a dominant woman.

Also speaking only for myself, it can be sexual or non-sexual, depending on the context.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

From what I've seen, most (though certainly not all) the people here generally fall into one of three categories.

1. BDSM players
They like tickling as a means of SM foreplay. They are all about the aspects of dominance and control. Lers are doms and Lees are subs. Some believe strongly that any and all tickling fetish activity falls into this category.

2. Sexual Ticklers
They get sexual arousal from the act of tickling. They are separate from the BDSM'ers in that they love tickling in and of itself rather than simply a means of achieving what could also be accomplished by spanking, whipping, etc. Lers tend to get a thrill seeing certain people tickled. Lee's tend to get a thrill seeing certain people doing the tickling.

Sexual ticklers/ticklees tend to be very gender specific in their tastes. For example, most straight male Lers get off on seeing pretty girls being tickled. Most straight male Lees get off on seeing women administering tickle torture. While the TMF boasts ticklers and ticklees of both genders, it seems the majority of the active membership are heterosexual male Lers.

3. Tickle Obsessive
These people love tickling wherever and whenever it happens. While they don't view it as something innately sexual, they've no qualms about incorporating tickling in their sex lives as well as every other aspect of life.

Because they don't view tickling itself as a sexual act, Tickle obsessive people enjoy tickling between all genders. m/f, f/f, f/m, or m/m. Many of them engage in tickling between family members as well. After all, to them it's no more sexual than a rousing game of Parcheesi. As a result, we sometimes see conflict between the Sexual Ticklers and the Tickle Obsessive. "You tickled your MOTHER?! THAT'S GROSS!!!"

Now before anybody objects to being compartmentalized, I fully acknowledge that the variety of tickling interests is far more complicated to be summarized in any single post. Certainly there are several who don't fall clearly into any of the above categories. But those are the big three that describe the majority of the TMF membership as I see it.

 

[texastickler]

Welcome to the TMF! We are so happy to have you with us. DontAskJusTckle said it best. That about Sums it up. It can be very sexual for me but it can be just a lot of fun with people close to me. It simply depends on the one involved in the play.

 

[rhiannon]

I was wondering if you consider yourself doms or subs too, or if you only tickle and aren't interested in the other dynamics. I understand the terms used here are 'ler and 'lee, but I am not sure if they are basically equal to dom and sub or ..... ?

The terms are definitely not equal to dom and sub. I am a lee, but definitely not a sub. 🙂

 

[phant0m]

Most of your questions just come down to a matter of personal preference. Some people here are into BDSM as well, and some others aren't. I can do tickling in a dom fashion, or in a playful/sensual one.

A situation where I would tickle someone and have it not move to sex? If I was tickling someone in a non-sexual manner, such as a friend or family member, then there would be no sexual response.

Yes, tickling can involve more sexual areas if the lee is ticklish there. Actually, since women are less likely to have a foot fetish than men, I've seen some girls complain about all the requests to talk about their feet. I don't know for sure, but I think there's probably a decent number of women here who prefer upper body and erotic tickling to constant feet tickling. That question might be a good idea for another thread...

 

[Myriads]

Welcome to the forum, and I'm glad that you found us.

Many of the others have hit on aspects of your question. But I'll pick out a few.

Regarding 'lee' and 'Ler'; these are more akin to the D/s 'Top' and 'Bottom' then 'Dom' and 'Sub' mostly indicating a preference within the fetish, rather then a total sexual identification.

Of course a Ler may also be a Dom but it's not needfully so. Same for a lee being a sub.

Given your stated likes in the bedroom, tickling might work very well with your tastes. Tickling can be used to control your behavior (in that your Ler can make you beg, or force you to agree to do 'x' by tickling you until you agree to) it can provide you with a non-pain form of discomfort. And it can be easily added to a submissive set of play.

Like any physical activity between people, tickling will vary based on the people involved. Some will use it as foreplay, others as playful bonding, others as an integrated part of sex. It's a very flexible fetish.

And yes, tickling can hit all body parts. I've known lees driven into hysterics by nipple, breast (everyone forgets about the undersides) and labia tickling on the female side, and cock and scrotum tickling on the male.

Experiment some with your husband, and I'm sure you'll find a way to add our fetish to your sexual fun.

Myriads

 

[SN16]

Thanks everyone. I am definitely going to explore this, and I appreciate everyone's insight. If anyone else wants to chime in, I'd be happy to listen.

And Myraids - no husband here yet..... I should be so lucky to find someone who's into what I am (as discussed in other threads!) 😉

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Welcome to the forum. 🙂

I understand the terms used here are 'ler and 'lee, but I am not sure if they are basically equal to dom and sub or ..... ?

No, they aren't. There are also "Tops and Bottoms". It's a plethora of titles and preferences out there.

I'd also like to ask if there's anyone on here who, in the right situations, of course, doesn't want the tickling to turn sexual.

Tickling can be sexual for me, with the right partner. But it's very easy for me to make a mental transition to it being just playful also. Just because I'm tickling/being tickled by someone, doesn't mean I want to bone them.

Everyone is different in the aforementioned element. For some folks they can't really play with "just anyone" or friends because it is strictly sexual.

For others, it can be just playful.

Also, does/can the tickling involve more sexual areas, like the breasts? Or do people usually stick to more "classic" ticklish areas like the feet?

This all depends on who I am playing with. -- I'm not going to head into a sexual territory if I'm just screwin' around w/friends and they wouldn't w/me. So "classic" areas would be highlighted, yes.

If it's with a Partner/Love/etc, then of course the classic and erotic areas would be coming into play.



G'Luck with what you're discovering!

 

[phant0m]

Thanks everyone. I am definitely going to explore this, and I appreciate everyone's insight. If anyone else wants to chime in, I'd be happy to listen.

That's good to hear. Don't forget to comment with your own feelings and opinions as you look around. A lot of us have had our fetish since we were young, and a perspective from someone who kind of falls into it because it suits their desires would be very useful. Since it's a fairly uncommon fetish, most people have the best luck with finding kinky non fetishists (such as yourself) and introducing them to the lifestyle. Basically any insights on the community from someone who was brought in (or found it themselves) would be worth gold to the single people like myself.

 

[AdamSterling]

If you're interested in exploring this with other people, I'd like to recommend the Tickle SIG (Special Interest Group) in Black Rose, which is a DC-based non-profit group for the kinky set. Their main website is at http://www.br.org/ if you'd like more information about the group.

I know that most of the people in the Tickle SIG can be found at: http://fetlife.com/groups/8468. (If you're not familiar with FetLife, I really recommend that you check it out; it's kinda like Facebook for kinky people.) Tell Rodney and Pamela that Adam the Recycler sent you. 🙂

P.S. I consider myself to be a rather skilled and experienced tickler -- but I'm also slow, patient and instructional for newbies. Also, I'm only a two-hour drive from you in D.C. If you're interested, please contact me at [email protected]. (Yes, that's a real e-mail address.)

 

[knudus]

From what I've seen, most (though certainly not all) the people here generally fall into one of three categories.

1. BDSM players
They like tickling as a means of SM foreplay. They are all about the aspects of dominance and control. Lers are doms and Lees are subs. Some believe strongly that any and all tickling fetish activity falls into this category.

2. Sexual Ticklers
They get sexual arousal from the act of tickling. They are separate from the BDSM'ers in that they love tickling in and of itself rather than simply a means of achieving what could also be accomplished by spanking, whipping, etc. Lers tend to get a thrill seeing certain people tickled. Lee's tend to get a thrill seeing certain people doing the tickling.

Sexual ticklers/ticklees tend to be very gender specific in their tastes. For example, most straight male Lers get off on seeing pretty girls being tickled. Most straight male Lees get off on seeing women administering tickle torture. While the TMF boasts ticklers and ticklees of both genders, it seems the majority of the active membership are heterosexual male Lers.

3. Tickle Obsessive
These people love tickling wherever and whenever it happens. While they don't view it as something innately sexual, they've no qualms about incorporating tickling in their sex lives as well as every other aspect of life.

Because they don't view tickling itself as a sexual act, Tickle obsessive people enjoy tickling between all genders. m/f, f/f, f/m, or m/m. Many of them engage in tickling between family members as well. After all, to them it's no more sexual than a rousing game of Parcheesi. As a result, we sometimes see conflict between the Sexual Ticklers and the Tickle Obsessive. "You tickled your MOTHER?! THAT'S GROSS!!!"

Now before anybody objects to being compartmentalized, I fully acknowledge that the variety of tickling interests is far more complicated to be summarized in any single post. Certainly there are several who don't fall clearly into any of the above categories. But those are the big three that describe the majority of the TMF membership as I see it.

Bravo! This could be a sticky note in the welcome forum.

 

[ticklemepls]

Hi there. I stumbled upon this site accidentally - I thought I knew all the fetishes, but I guess not! I'm shocked I never heard about this before, because it sounds fun. If you would be willing to indulge me, I have a few questions.

I consider myself to be submissive in the bedroom (only in the bedroom, though,) and I don't like a lot of pain. I like orders and to be uncomfortable. I like to be controlled, and tickling seems like an awesome way for that to happen. I was wondering if you consider yourself doms or subs too, or if you only tickle and aren't interested in the other dynamics. I understand the terms used here are 'ler and 'lee, but I am not sure if they are basically equal to dom and sub or ..... ?

I'd also like to ask if there's anyone on here who, in the right situations, of course, doesn't want the tickling to turn sexual. I'm assuming that people like this because it turns them on, but is that ever not the case? Would there be a situation where you would tickle someone and it would not move to sex (unless you were intentionally denying it for some reason?)

Also, does/can the tickling involve more sexual areas, like the breasts? Or do people usually stick to more "classic" ticklish areas like the feet?

Thanks for indulging the newbie. I'm really interested in (and turned on by) this!

my boyfriend (femfttickler21) and I began as a Dom/sub relationship though we met here... it's something we both enjoy doing and since have expanded into other things and the occasional switch. i do not consider Ler/lee to be the same as Dom/sub ... normally it just happens that the Dom is the one tickling the lee, but not always... they are two separate things...

since the only one i really let tickle me is my boyfriend, nope, im happy and content with it being a turn on and a pre-cursor to sex 😀 only other time is occasional tickle by my cousin to which- hell no- is that sexual *gag*

tickling can involve any area the ler/lee want... depending on how sensitive the lee is and the techniques being used 🙂

welcome to the forum

 

[paracarl44]

HELLO SN16. You have come to the right place to learn all about ling. There are many sections to this forum so look them all over. Also there are people who meet in the DC area for lunch who are forum members.