sometimes i just want to hide under a rock...

[tk86]

Undoubtedly one of the main themes of this forum over the years is acceptance/coming out to someone you care for. I am now wrestling with that one.

There's a woman I've known for many, many years whom I've suspected of sharing the kink that brings us all here. Although we've never been in a relationship, we have been close to it a few times. I won't get into the reasons for the near involvements and estrangements as this post really isn't about that. Suffice to say there's a bond that has stood the test of time and that is bigger than both of us. Right now we're friends but that could change.

I have hinted over the years at my own tickling interests, being too shy to blurt it right out and hoping she'll admit her own, to start a true exchange. So many of us are familiar with this kind of hinting and nudging, hoping that our instincts aren't off...

In one of the few instances that we were intimate I thought her interests in our area seemed unmistakeable, but like I've mentioned she hasn't truly taken me up on follow up hints.

Anyway, the other day we were exchanging friendly email messages during the work day, and I decided to send her a link to the Spanish mainstream tickle/massage/relaxation spa that was posted on the TMF the other day. This is a mainstream site that has garnered actual press coverage--it's not like I was sending her a link to Tickle Abuse or anything! My friend is also bilingual so reading the info would be no problem.

Well, I haven't heard from her since. Because I'm notoriously shy about this kind of thing it's really tough for me to follow up and just ask what she thought of it. It's been three days already and I'm feling both embarrassed and rejected. Yes I am aware that sending it at work was a mistake, though all I sent was a link, not any kind of photo.

Right now I fear she thinks I'm from Pluto or something. Too often I think I mistake a fleeting second of playfullness for a deeper interest in our kink. Wishful thinking.

Thoughts?

 

[rhiannon]

Send her a mail or call her up to ask if she is alright. Don't mention the link at all! I mean, if you usually have regular contact, not hearing from her for three days could worry you, right?

Just ask if she is alright, that you were kinda worried because you didn't hear from her, but under no circumstances link it to you or you sending the link!

I mean, there could be plenty of reasons why you didn't hear from her!

 

[tk86]

Thanks

Thanks for the advice Rhiannon. I will not mention the link. It's not unusual for us to go weeks withoit talking. We have some longstanding issues though lately it looked like they were on the way to being resolved. I felt her openness and it seemed like a decent time to leave a bigger hint. But it's feeling like a mistake right now. I feel pretty low.

 

[rhiannon]

Don't. This is part of who your are. You shouldn't feel guilty about what you like, and if you don't act like you're embarrassed about it, people won't think it's weird.

What exactly led to you sending her that link anyways, what kind of conversation were you having?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

If I were you I'd just play it off. Send her a text or an email or whatever asking about her day. Don't even bring up the link you sent her. Just act like it was any other link you'd find amusing or interesting. If you sent her a youtube video of something you found interesting and she didn't reply, would you wait days for a response before talking to her again? Of course not - so don't do it now. Just be natural 🙂

Good luck!

 

[leafstk]

^good advice 🙂 Good luck!

 

[tk86]

Y'all rock. While it's tough to get it out of my brain that I've horrified her in some way, I am more grateful for your support than I can express. Lots of good advice here.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Also, think of this. If she does share the fetish, she might think that you noticed and are trying to call her out by sending her that link. She could be just as embarrassed as you are, and not sure what to say. Initiating conversation could put her mind at ease. 🙂

 

[BlackestLily]

From all of the information you've given, I see no reason to worry. 🙂 No reason to be ashamed of you, and you seem like a genuine, nice guy who cares about her. You've been through a lot. Sending a link about a massage/tickling spa won't be what pushes her off the edge, yaknow?

 

[tk86]

Blackestlily, thank you! I have very deep feelings for this woman, you're right about that. We have a very long and unusual history that goes back over two decades, and the love just keeps hitting us upside our heads.

Skipadeedoodah, I have to admit that thought occurred to me, that she might be feeling a bit busted. Shoot, I've always been the more upfront one about feelings anyway. But I've filed that thought under "wishful thinking," at least for now or until I get further proof.

 

[storm7400]

Obsessing over the unknown is never a good idea. You can try all day to cover all bases, but you will always miss variables and thus make yourself crazy. Let nature take its course and see what comes of time. Hey you tried, at least you can feel good about that.

 

[tk86]

More wisdom

Thank you Storm!

 

[Mitchell]

Two things come to mind. One.. she's just busy.. and will get back to you. (The less likely one, I'm afraid).

The second.. the link offended her, and she's either taking a break.. or.. has decided to cool it with you.. for however long.

You've received good advice about just contacting her, without mentioning the link.. or such. Talk to her as a friend.

A similar situation happened to me.. over a decade ago, but I didn't know the girl as long. However.. I got a rather.. surprised.. and sarcastic.. reaction.. to The Question.. while on the phone.

I had this pen pal in Georgia. When it started.. we were just friends. Gradually... things developed. She broke up with a boyfriend, and gave me her number. I used to call her every week. One day.. I made up a white lie about being tickled by a cousin.. to try and draw the conversation around to tickling. (This was just around the time that I knew tickling "did it" for me, around 1997 or 1998.) She had a surprised reaction, and then I said something like "Aren't you ticklish". Her response, in her beautiful southern accent was.. "Yes, I am very ticklish". I could tell she wasn't happy, so I felt compelled to drop the subject. I knew one day if I met her, and we got involved, I would just try to tickle her, and see what happened. Sadly, for other reasons, such never happened. She also suspected I had a foot fetish, because one day she told me about how her grandmother used to force her to kiss her feet. (Gross, I know). I said something like "Well, if we get together, and I wanted to kiss your feet, you'd be okay with that, right". To which she said "Yes, if you wanted to kiss my feet, that would be okay".

Life is busy, and it could be that your friend is just busy with things.. but.. I'm one who has always assumed for myself, that if I ask someone, especially a friend, "The Question", and she doesnt write back.. she's been offended.

I hope you hear from your friend. It sounds like you guys had a good relationship. Hopefully it will all work out.

Mitch

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

Hey, this rock is already taken, get your own.............

She is probably at the Spanish spa waiting for you or she has entered the 'lee protection program. Happens to me all the time...😉 j/k You have been given much sane reasonable advice just up from my reply. Play it cool when you e-mail her. I hope you two keep a good thing going. And you don't have to post a clip....this time!!

 

[love feet]

She is probably at the Spanish spa waiting for you or she has entered the 'lee protection program. Happens to me all the time...😉 j/k You have been given much sane reasonable advice just up from my reply. Play it cool when you e-mail her. I hope you two keep a good thing going. And you don't have to post a clip....this time!!

yeah i am going with this!.

 

[miskiduk]

Just don't worry so much. Let's face it, tickling is a pretty inoffensive thing to like considering some of the other alternatives out there (and everyone likes something, whether they admit it or not). Even if she has no interest in it I seriously doubt she'd be disgusted or repulsed by it.
At the very worst I'd imagine she'd just tease you about it and, if she's a good friend, that's just going to be light-hearted banter. If she ain't into it then that'd be the next best thing to total acceptance anyway.
I've only ever told a handful of people so far, and none of them even seemed remotely surprised - kind of disappointingly underwhelming if I'm honest LOL.
She isn't going to think you're from Pluto, don't get paranoid.

 

[darkscar]

Send her a nonchalant message and see how it goes.

 

[tk86]

Thank you everyone

Everyone who posted gave me great advice. I am going to lay back on this for now. She still hasn't replied or contacted me, and while that is certainly not encouraging I'm not going to worry about it. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't have sent that link but I can't change that now. Life goes on from this point...