Talking with a Therapist

[Stocks22]

Hello,

I am currently working with a new therapist, a psychiatrist, and trying to figure some things out in my life. I have a feeling this fetish is tied to a few of my issues, but wanted to see if I could get some input from you guys.

Has anyone received assistance from a psychiatrist that was not necessarily a sex therapist in registers to this fetish? The person who I am seeing is a medical doctor and I wanted to know if anybody had any positive results speaking with a psychiatrist. Thank you in advanced for any replies.

 

[Studious_Hustler]

I received good results from discussing my fetish with a therapist who was not a psychiatrist. Just a regular old, run-of-the-mill therapist was more than good enough.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I think a lot of tickle fetishists have Asperger's or something similar, and have it mixed up in their head that it's the tickle fetish specifically that's the cause of them not "getting it" like other people do. I'm not saying that as a joke, I see a lot of people talk about fetish stuff and blame it, specifically, for a lot of their problems (perceived or otherwise) and I don't think they're intentionally doing it to deflect from anything else, but I really think a lot of the people who have these intense, life-altering hang-ups have something else going on that they don't seem to realize.

 

[devioustickler]

I will be seeing a psychiatrist in a few months to discuss my problem with insomnia. I know it has nothing to do with my fetish but more my stress and place in life... not being content where I am. In no way do I correlate it to my tickle and foot fetish.

When I was a teenager, 13, so like 20 years ago, I had the flu and had to see my doctor, he was on vacation so I saw his replacement, a very hot mid 30's Indian woman. Me being a natural flirt and always liking older women, I couldn't help but feel attracted to her. Anyways, I told her I had a foot and tickle fetish and even asked if I could see her feet. She blushed and was taken back but was ok with it. She took off her heels and showed me her hosed feet with bright pink toenails. I asked her if she could sit down wiggle her toes and show me her soles and she smiled and did it. I told her I felt weird and expressed my fetish and had asked her if it was bad or weird. She said she was flattered and was surprised I had the confidence to ask her. Anyways I had expressed my fetishes and asked her if it was bad. She had told me that having a fetish was perfectly normal and unless I was skipping school, doing illegal acts or causing harm or self harm, I shouldn't feel bad about it. After I left I felt relief and kinda like a LUCKY ASS TEEN for having the courage to ask a woman, a doctor no less to see her feet and she showed me them. That really boosted my courage. Anyways, very long story... the point is as she told me, as long as my fetish doesn't hinder my life, cause harm to myself or anyone then I have nothing to be ashamed of.

That being said... there are some pretty weird/ disgusting fetishes out there. I would say a tickle fetish doesn't even come close to those ones!

 

[Libertine]

'Are you troubled by aberrant sexual fantasies?'
No, doctor, actually I quite enjoy them.'

 

[mark1]

I will be seeing a psychiatrist in a few months to discuss my problem with insomnia. I know it has nothing to do with my fetish but more my stress and place in life... not being content where I am. In no way do I correlate it to my tickle and foot fetish.

When I was a teenager, 13, so like 20 years ago, I had the flu and had to see my doctor, he was on vacation so I saw his replacement, a very hot mid 30's Indian woman. Me being a natural flirt and always liking older women, I couldn't help but feel attracted to her. Anyways, I told her I had a foot and tickle fetish and even asked if I could see her feet. She blushed and was taken back but was ok with it. She took off her heels and showed me her hosed feet with bright pink toenails. I asked her if she could sit down wiggle her toes and show me her soles and she smiled and did it. I told her I felt weird and expressed my fetish and had asked her if it was bad or weird. She said she was flattered and was surprised I had the confidence to ask her. Anyways I had expressed my fetishes and asked her if it was bad. She had told me that having a fetish was perfectly normal and unless I was skipping school, doing illegal acts or causing harm or self harm, I shouldn't feel bad about it. After I left I felt relief and kinda like a LUCKY ASS TEEN for having the courage to ask a woman, a doctor no less to see her feet and she showed me them. That really boosted my courage. Anyways, very long story... the point is as she told me, as long as my fetish doesn't hinder my life, cause harm to myself or anyone then I have nothing to be ashamed of.

That being said... there are some pretty weird/ disgusting fetishes out there. I would say a tickle fetish doesn't even come close to those ones!

That is such a great story. She could have shamed you and you would have carried that shit for life.

 

[duderino84]

I think a lot of tickle fetishists have Asperger's or something similar, and have it mixed up in their head that it's the tickle fetish specifically that's the cause of them not "getting it" like other people do. I'm not saying that as a joke, I see a lot of people talk about fetish stuff and blame it, specifically, for a lot of their problems (perceived or otherwise) and I don't think they're intentionally doing it to deflect from anything else, but I really think a lot of the people who have these intense, life-altering hang-ups have something else going on that they don't seem to realize.

"Not getting it" like not understanding sex and trying to use tickling as an outlet, you mean? I guess.

I think guys in general are instructed to "go out there and get it" and when they can't or don't have the right concept they end up having a brick wall moment, tickling or not.

Anyhow, guys, waste as much time as you'd like with mental health professionals. I don't think you'll get much out of psychiatrists other than prescriptions and circular logic out of psychologists. The money could easily get sunk into a fun bar scene instead. But people seem to like thinking they can be fixed by some 3rd party.

 

[Tenebrae]

Speaking of Asperger. Some of my friends (all of them from English-speaking countries, interestingly enough) often surmise that I could have had some mild version of autism. They cite pêle-mêle my nerdiness, my very good memory, my perceived eccentricity, my tendency to keep a clean and tidy environment around myself, my fetishes, my habit to organize and file my possessions, and sometimes even my hobbies and political views Which to me is hilarious, given my passion for discussion, my extrovert personality, and my epic inability to do even simple mental calculations.

I wonder sometimes if, in the general public (and I do mean, outside of the professional sphere of mental healthcare), "Asperger" or whatever aren't words people use to label whomever they think deviates from a given perceived "norm". If my parents had thought like that, I think my childhood would have been much less happy.

 

[duderino84]

Hey Tenebrae, don't rule anything out. We can have nearly anything diagnosed. A secret I've been pretty tight lipped about has been I was diagnosed with EFD at a young age. Executive function disorder, it's called. EFD from my understanding is usually a characteristic feature of ADHD but in my case for whatever reason, either reality or doctoral negligence, was made the main course. It could tie in with asperger's as well but of course I never got a definitive answer. A decade ago I tried going through the process of getting re- diagnosed; it still comes out as the sole diagnosis. It makes it pretty difficult in adult life to really treat it as anything seeing as it is an underground diagnosis in itself.

Basically it encompasses organizational difficulty, thought processing delays, and decision making difficulties. Pretty much shit I'm constantly fighting with. A lot of people judge me as being organizationally lazy but part of it is also my disorder, which really because doctors have given me so little to work with aside from school learning accommodations, I don't even bring it up to people because I can't really properly Express WTF is my actual understandable issue because people want to associate it run a mainstream diagnosis!

My point is we all have a path to forge, really doesn't matter which one we get because nobody gives an honest fuck anyway.

 

[Libertine]

A lot of people who are simply selfish/awkward/unsocialised/you name it can now explain their aberrant behaviour away by taking pride in being assigned a bunch of initials identifying a fashionable new 'syndrome' or even by insisting they've a (self-diagnosed) mental illness.

Of course, no therapist struggling to make a living in a severely overcrowded profession is going to kill the (silly) goose who's laying golden eggs (for said therapist) by telling a client that he or she is simply behaving like an asshole, to get out there and study simple politeness in order to get along well with other people, to quit acting like a jackass and to 'fuck off out of my consulting room, you self-indulgent toad'. Parenthetically, to me Incels are a prime example of this group.

I went through some very odd times as an adolescent, but the only time I went through anything like 'therapy' was seeing a psychiatrist for two months when I was 16 because my parents were going through a vicious divorce- he had a tic and told me that it was his mother who forced him to go to medical school. As Melville put it in Moby-Dick, 'Who's to doom when the judge himself is dragged to the bar?'

So thereafter I observed popular/'elegant' types carefully and tried to develop a modicum of savoir-faire by studying them and copying their behaviour in appropriate situations as best as I was able. Eventually some sort of fluency develops if you practise enough. It hasn't been easy and I've failed abysmally on too many occasions, not only because of mishandled situations but also because of interaction with the types identified above.

But life's for learning and being a decent human being is something that can always be worked at.

And I'm still working at it, freely admitting I've no laurels to rest on.

 

[duderino84]

That's true as well. No matter the fetish or disorder the work won't do itself for you to accomplish your goals, they're just guidelines to follow/ figure out how to adapt to. Be a cool dude and half the work of socializing is done. The other half.... figure out how to schmooze and enamour, that usually helps me lol.

 

[Tenebrae]

My point is we all have a path to forge, really doesn't matter which one we get because nobody gives an honest fuck anyway.

Philosophy, right there.

 

[Tenebrae]

A lot of people who are simply selfish/awkward/unsocialised/you name it can now explain their aberrant behaviour away by taking pride in being assigned a bunch of initials identifying a fashionable new 'syndrome' or even by insisting they've a (self-diagnosed) mental illness.

Of course, no therapist struggling to make a living in a severely overcrowded profession is going to kill the (silly) goose who's laying golden eggs (for said therapist) by telling a client that he or she is simply behaving like an asshole, to get out there and study simple politeness in order to get along well with other people, to quit acting like a jackass and to 'fuck off out of my consulting room, you self-indulgent toad'. Parenthetically, to me Incels are a prime example of this group.

I went through some very odd times as an adolescent, but the only time I went through anything like 'therapy' was seeing a psychiatrist for two months when I was 16 because my parents were going through a vicious divorce- he had a tic and told me that it was his mother who forced him to go to medical school. As Melville put it in Moby-Dick, 'Who's to doom when the judge himself is dragged to the bar?'

So thereafter I observed popular/'elegant' types carefully and tried to develop a modicum of savoir-faire by studying them and copying their behaviour in appropriate situations as best as I was able. Eventually some sort of fluency develops if you practise enough. It hasn't been easy and I've failed abysmally on too many occasions, not only because of mishandled situations but also because of interaction with the types identified above.

But life's for learning and being a decent human being is something that can always be worked at.

And I'm still working at it, freely admitting I've no laurels to rest on.

I agree with pretty much all of this, except the "incels" part, which is something I do not know about. I would not generalize to the extreme, because I am certain there are many genuinely crippling syndromes out there, especially in nowadays' maddening society.

And don't forget Pharma need to sell their pills. "Undisciplined kid? God forbid you give him a spanking; here, there's the pill that will get him to behave. You've been working too much? God forbid you take the next day off; here, there's the pill that'll allow you to stay awake for 18 hours straight. The pretty lady does not give a crap about you? Here, there's the pill that will improve your confidence" and so on and so forth...

 

[Sharkiegirl]

I had a pretty traumatic childhood, so I have seen about....20 therapists/psychiatrists/emotional counselors (by force) over my lifetime. The last 2 were the first I CHOSE to go to as an adult (finally) and I grazed the topic of BDSM/tickling with them in a general manner. I definitely waited until I became more comfortable with them in our sessions, and it usually came up very organically when they would ask about how I handle my emotions when they become overwhelming.

They BOTH said if you are in a supportive and healthy exchange when it comes to such things, it makes complete sense that you would want to outlet your feelings in such a way. Granted, everyone has a different background with kink, and every mental health professional has different opinions. But in my experience, as long as you express a genuine enjoyment and level of safety in your play, most mental heath professionals will discuss candidly and openly that sexual release in a consensual adult environment is fine regardless of type. If you are looking for the root of where all of this stemmed from in your psyche, they may delve deeper and be a little more clinical/descriptive or try and help you find alternatives if you would like to curb these urges.

Either way, if it’s a big part of you, I feel it’s always best to be honest with people trying to pick your brain.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

A lot of people who are simply selfish/awkward/unsocialised/you name it can now explain their aberrant behaviour away by taking pride in being assigned a bunch of initials identifying a fashionable new 'syndrome' or even by insisting they've a (self-diagnosed) mental illness.

Of course, no therapist struggling to make a living in a severely overcrowded profession is going to kill the (silly) goose who's laying golden eggs (for said therapist) by telling a client that he or she is simply behaving like an asshole, to get out there and study simple politeness in order to get along well with other people, to quit acting like a jackass and to 'fuck off out of my consulting room, you self-indulgent toad'. Parenthetically, to me Incels are a prime example of this group.

I went through some very odd times as an adolescent, but the only time I went through anything like 'therapy' was seeing a psychiatrist for two months when I was 16 because my parents were going through a vicious divorce- he had a tic and told me that it was his mother who forced him to go to medical school. As Melville put it in Moby-Dick, 'Who's to doom when the judge himself is dragged to the bar?'

So thereafter I observed popular/'elegant' types carefully and tried to develop a modicum of savoir-faire by studying them and copying their behaviour in appropriate situations as best as I was able. Eventually some sort of fluency develops if you practise enough. It hasn't been easy and I've failed abysmally on too many occasions, not only because of mishandled situations but also because of interaction with the types identified above.

But life's for learning and being a decent human being is something that can always be worked at.

And I'm still working at it, freely admitting I've no laurels to rest on.

So are you saying you believe most/all mental illness is just people "acting like assholes"?

 

[ticklishmikey]

I have. Yes. Years ago, I went in with the idea of curing it, as if I was sick and it was some kind of disease. I am still overly sensitive about my fetish and I still have many sore spots around it, but I've had more terrible experiences than most. During the course of the 8 months she was, at least, able to help me become more accepting of it and not hate myself for having it. I think therapy is a wonderful thing as long as they are helping you to help yourself and not giving empty advice. I wish the best of luck to you in conquering whatever is weighing on your heart.

Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk

 

[duderino84]

So are you saying you believe most/all mental illness is just people "acting like assholes"?

What it sounds like he's saying is accountability can't be substituted by diagnosis. And ultimately, healthcare (what all this jabbering about therapy vs psychiatry vs psychology talk really consists of) will not "fix" what's broken as directly as if you try directly to treat what you view is "wrong" with your existence. A lot of healthcare such as therapy is in some form a subscription of sorts. Just like primary care.

The thing about "incels" is mostly they only got recognized recently over Joker movie paranoia and the times where people clearly got pushed over their own personal edge (Elliot Rodger) to a level of meme'd infamy and became a hate group vs what they initially were: just guys that couldn't score.

In the last 30 years social skills have went from interpersonal lessons to technological limbo and simplification of interaction to the point where people don't really know how to "woo" each other. Then of course the catalyst of miscommunication and isolation creates the "incel". There's the ones that subscribe to therapy to cure themselves (not happening) or the ones that don't bother. And these types are the ones that have defective social filters to be broadcasting their panic signals across websites. So to me it's not much mental as it is social.

 

[chicago]

I think one could argue that going to see a professional is, in some ways, taking accountability and many times those professionals can point the individual in a direction where hard work in therapy (not just prescriptions) can be of some help. Though anyone that views mental health as something can be cured / not cured, bad vs good, right vs wrong, might do well to take a DBT class and practice some dialectal thinking where there might be shades of gray or multiple, seemingly incongruent, things holding true at the same time. Besides, mental and social are highly related to one another because how would one know that ones mentality was abnormal without awareness (either by oneself or teachers, parents, loved ones, studies, etc) of social norms

 

[duderino84]

Right but what do you think a doctor who is providing therapy is usually trying to do? Usually it's "make patient feel better". You're really not getting too honest of a perspective. If DBT is "acceptance" therapy.... wouldn't accepting you have a fetish and venturing outward be a solution? I mean the worst I've gotten as far as dealbreaker was "I can't take it/ not into it" and relationship wise was "I don't really dig it but I think it's better than crying and I like it since you do".

I think therapy is most useful for trauma, but fetish wise it sounds like a dead end. If anything, I think they intensify.

As far as mental vs social....I think if people end up ostracized because of bad social skills then some people lack mental capacity to recognize how they're broadcasting themselves to others, IE lacking conformity to the norms.

 

[Libertine]

What it sounds like he's saying is accountability can't be substituted by diagnosis. And ultimately, healthcare (what all this jabbering about therapy vs psychiatry vs psychology talk really consists of) will not "fix" what's broken as directly as if you try directly to treat what you view is "wrong" with your existence. A lot of healthcare such as therapy is in some form a subscription of sorts. Just like primary care.

The thing about "incels" is mostly they only got recognized recently over Joker movie paranoia and the times where people clearly got pushed over their own personal edge (Elliot Rodger) to a level of meme'd infamy and became a hate group vs what they initially were: just guys that couldn't score.

In the last 30 years social skills have went from interpersonal lessons to technological limbo and simplification of interaction to the point where people don't really know how to "woo" each other. Then of course the catalyst of miscommunication and isolation creates the "incel". There's the ones that subscribe to therapy to cure themselves (not happening) or the ones that don't bother. And these types are the ones that have defective social filters to be broadcasting their panic signals across websites. So to me it's not much mental as it is social.

Right but what do you think a doctor who is providing therapy is usually trying to do? Usually it's "make patient feel better". You're really not getting too honest of a perspective. If DBT is "acceptance" therapy.... wouldn't accepting you have a fetish and venturing outward be a solution? I mean the worst I've gotten as far as dealbreaker was "I can't take it/ not into it" and relationship wise was "I don't really dig it but I think it's better than crying and I like it since you do".

I think therapy is most useful for trauma, but fetish wise it sounds like a dead end. If anything, I think they intensify.

As far as mental vs social....I think if people end up ostracized because of bad social skills then some people lack mental capacity to recognize how they're broadcasting themselves to others, IE lacking conformity to the norms.

Yes, this is another well phrased explanation of how I feel about the subject, and D.'s final sentence is especially apt.

'Being' isn't necessarily carte blanche for 'doing', and if what you do is separating you from both society and any way of gratifying your desires, learn from that and keep experimenting with other approaches until you have some measure of success.

Don't blame the entire world simply because you haven't worked hard enough and long enough at becoming a functional part of it. Believe me, it can take years.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

Yes, this is another well phrased explanation of how I feel about the subject, and D.'s final sentence is especially apt.

'Being' isn't necessarily carte blanche for 'doing', and if what you do is separating you from both society and any way of gratifying your desires, learn from that and keep experimenting with other approaches until you have some measure of success.

Don't blame the entire world simply because you haven't worked hard enough and long enough at becoming a functional part of it. Believe me, it can take years.

You didn't answer my question.

 

[Libertine]

So are you saying you believe most/all mental illness is just people "acting like assholes"?

You didn't answer my question.

Not at all. I'm saying that these days a lot of perfectly sane people who act like assholes and can't be bothered trying to change pointedly and with a great deal of self-satisfaction blame it on being mentally ill so they can continue to get away with it.

That way people feel too guilty to tell them they're acting like assholes.

This is a general observation and not directed at anyone in particular.

 

[TripleH1]

I have Aspergers, am asexual and have a massive tickling fetish. I think they absolutely overlap.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Right but what do you think a doctor who is providing therapy is usually trying to do? Usually it's "make patient feel better". You're really not getting too honest of a perspective. If DBT is "acceptance" therapy.... wouldn't accepting you have a fetish and venturing outward be a solution? /QUOTE]

Short answer is, you need to be very aware of the therapist and making sure s/he has a an approach that works for you. The therapist shouldn't just try to make you feel better. And yes, the approach of accepting that you have a fetish and working with that sounds right, but some may need more help than others in implementing that.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

A lot of people who are simply selfish/awkward/unsocialised/you name it can now explain their aberrant behaviour away by taking pride in being assigned a bunch of initials identifying a fashionable new 'syndrome' or even by insisting they've a (self-diagnosed) mental illness.
.

Personally, I haven't seen that, which of course doesn't mean it isn't happening. Mental health illness is a tough one. Some people do in fact have a mental health illness that makes them act like an asshole, or at least makes that way of acting seem natural to them. Some of them, even with help, cannot learn that "I'm being an asshole," but instead can learn, "when I act like that no one wants to be around me, and I like being around people, so I need to avoid that." I imagine that's rough. I'll take my bad back over that any time!