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The Self Referential Thread

*kurchatovium enters Level 8*

*Almost instantly a horde of Pit Fiends and Pit Lords beging to descend upon him. Kurchatovium casts the spell Holy Wrath holing The Staff Of Ages. A blast of divine white light hurls out from his staff destroying all the demons but in its wake lies the demon Mammon.*

Mammon: Time to die preacher.

kurchatovium: Tsk Tsk so much negativity.

Mammon: Joke all you want priest I will slay you where you stand.

kurchatovium: Sigh. I would tell you to goto Hell but we are already here. 😀
 
*Mammon grabs kurchatovium and slams him back into the the hot lava rocks on the Level 8 ground. kurcahtovium quickly jumps back up and pulls out aholy cross shaped machine gun filled with a mixture of holy water and a rare ingredient knows as The Blood of The Savior. kurchatovium unloads tons of ammo into Mammon causing the mighty demon to stagger back and scream in agony.*

kurchatovium: Are we having fun yet Mammon?

*Mammon screams and breathes firestorm at kurchatovium which he blocks most of wth his divine robe.*

kurchatovium: I'll take that as a no. 😀
 
*kurchatovium invokes the spell "Holy Fist Of The Creator" and a might fist of divine white light slams into Mammon causing the beast to roar in pain. Mammon is noticably injured and realing from his wounds.*

kurchatovium: Nothing like that old time religion Hey Mammon?
 
Mammon: Damn you priest!!! I WILL TEAR YOU APART!!!!!!!!!!!

*Mammon rips at kurcatovium with his lighning fast claws. kurchatovium avoids many of the blows but not all of them*

Mammon: Having fun kurchatovium? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!

*kurchatovium gets up dusts himself off*

kurchatovium: Why yes Mammon. Yes I am. How good of you to ask?
 
*With unprecendeted light speed kurchatovium takes his Staff Of Ages and plunges it right thru the heart of Mammon. The beast is caught totally off guard and screams in twists in agony. Mammon lays dying.*

Mammon: CURSE YOU BASTARD!!! YOU WILL NOT WIN!!

kurchatovium: Ahhh Mammon I think I already have.

*kurchatoum picks up his cross shaped machine gun and finishes the Mammon off with a few more well place holy bullets.*

kurchatouvium: Alright which one of you demon bastards is next.
 
*Calmly casts a cold wave, freezing a number of unholy creatures solid. Shatters them with a word.* We appear to be doing well. 😀
 
Yes HDS we are doing good so far I cast a spell on the vorpal bunnies so they should be able to kill higher demons then normal. Watch out though Belial and Ball I feel are on this level as well. 😀 😀 😛
 
Excellent HDS I will keep a look out for Baal. If we can get rid of those guys half the battle will be won already. 😀
 
I have a surprise guys I rigged a special Portal Orb to open up a path way to a Pletherain Battle Station Near Pletheria. This one way portal will allow a contingent of Pletherians to assist us. 😀

*THE THREAD opens up the portal and horards of Pletherian Elite warriors stream out.*
 
*kurchatovium casts THE CREATOR'S blessing.*

kurchatovium: Sanctus aeturnus lumen liberatio

*All the allied troops are bathed in a holy glow strengtheing their power and their defenses*
 
*kurchatovium picks up his Staff Of Ages and his Holy Machine gun. He reloads his ammo. Sudennly from nowhere Baal Materilizes ans strikes him a mighty blow throwing him against one of Hell's mighty volcanoes.*

Baal: Time to die kurchatovium. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!

*kurchatvoium gets up slowly*

kurchatovium: Sheesh its that the only line you guys know. Your going to die. Time to die. Die. I mean really cant we be original here.
 
Their aid will prove most timely, I am sure. And speak of the Devil...err, Devil's underling, Belial decided to crash the party as well. You take Baal, I will take Belial.

Belial: Fools! Just because you have destroyed Mammon does not mean you have won! You were lucky in defeating him, but your luck will soon run dry. None of you will set one foot on the Ninth Level! A thousand Pletherian warriors will not save you now.

HDS: It is fortunate that you are not a prophet, for your predictions are quite false. The time has come to remove you from the cosmos.

*In an instant, battle is joined. HDS calls forth another cold wave, but the demon's hellfire is too strong to be doused. Belial calls forth a storm of fireballs which impact against HDS's cloak, pushing him backwards but doing no damage.*

Belial: RAAAAAAAAGH! Die, worm, die!

*Belial produces a massive hammer and slams it down on HDS. Conjuring a shield of pure darkness, HDS blocks the strike, shattering the hammer. HDS chants in a toungue not spoken for a million years and summons a swarm of dark birds. The birds circle above Belial and kamakaze dive into him. The demon stops some, but many impact, dazing the beast.*

Belial: Dark magics? How can one on the side of light use dark magics!?

HDS: I would not be called His Divine Shadow if I did not dabble on both sides of the spectrum. Now, to unlease a power I have not used in a very long time.

*HDSc closes his eyes. Swirling lights surround him, growing brighter and more numerous with each passing moment. HDS opens his eyes and they are filled with stars.*

Belial: What is this!? I sense pure cosmic energy, like that seen at the beginning of everything. How can you produce it!?

HDS: I have lived long enough to have been alive when there still existed pure cosmic energy. I learned how to create it. Because I can control the darkest of shadows, I can combine the pure cosmic force with what existed before it. Darkness. The combination will mimic the great explosion that formed the cosmos. You cannot survive it.

*HDS floats towards Belial. The demon frantically launches fireballs and calls forth lesser demons the attack. All are destroyed before they even impact the swirling energies. HDS reaches out, the balls of light concentrating at his left hand. Dark, swirling clouds begin to appear around his right hand, concentrating themselves about it.*

HDS: Now, die.

*HDS reaches forward and pierces the demon's hide. He brings his hands around the black heart of the beast and, with one swift motion, brings them together. The swirling light and dark collide, and all the level goes white.*

Belial: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*A wave of energy, a perfect copy of the moment when the cosmos was born, spreads from the demon's black heart, tearing his body and unholy soul to shreds. The wave consumes a large number of lesser demons before suddenly reversing and plunging back to where it spread from. The light fades, and Belial is gone, not even a speck of ash left. HDS slowly floats to the earth and the stars fade from his eyes.*

HDS: The deed is done. The demon is slain. I must stabilize the area, for it has been reborn and is as it was when it was first formed. It must be synchronized with the surrounding level. I can rejoin the fight afterwards.

*HDS stands at the epicenter of the wave and begins to hum. The air, still rippling from the blast, slowly begins to calm.*
 
Excellent, excellent work HDS. Now we only have this bloated idiot Baal to deal with.

Baal: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BLOATED IDIOT!!!

kurchatovium: Oh yeah forgot you were still there. 😀 😀

*Baal eyes glaze over and his deadly stone stare freezes kurchatovium in his tracks kurchatovium starts to turn to stone but he shakes off the effects of th deadly glaze and grabs his machine gun and riddles the Baal with all the ammo from the gun. Baal staggers back in pain and yells in agony.*

Baal: I will die so easily preacher.

*Baal swipes again many times at kurchatovium with his claws. kurchatovium dodges most of the blows but a few blows glance at him and wound him.*

Baal: DIE BASTARD!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

*Baal strikes again at kurchatovium and hits him hard. kurchatovium calmy recites a holy prayer of redemption and a cloud of glittering colors surrnds him and heals his wounds*

kurchatovium: Thats the problem when you pick the wrong side Baal. Satan wont do squat to save your ass.

*kurchatovium twists his ahine gun and mophs to a rocket launcher and kurchatoium shoots several rockets loaded with Pletherian Divine Light Crystal into Baal. They explode with a thunderous blast and wound Baal considerably.*

Baal: I am not done yet with you PREACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*Completes the stabilization*

That "preacher" will soon turn you to dust. let me make it easier for him. *Raises hand and releases a flash of light, blinding Baal for a moment.*
 
*Baal quickly moves and thrusts his claws into kurchatoviums chest*

Baal: Whose on the wrong side now BASTARD. I will rip out your very soul.

kurchatovium: You know you guys keep forgetting something.

Baal: Whats that Priest?!!!

kurchatovium: I am quite quite more than I use to be. A heart filled with Wuv. A soul filled with Faith. A mind filled with wisdom.

Baal: Big F@#&#&ing Deal. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kurchatovium: and a gaze. THE CREATOR'S Gaze of Ages

Baal What!!!!!!!!!! You cant now tht spell. No one does.

*kurchatovium shakes his head and his purple sunglasses fall off. His eyes glow bright purple and the light envelops Baal*

Baal: NO NO this cant be. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT THE GAZE OF AGES!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

*In matter of minutes Baal is rduced to a fine ash that blows away with the winds of war.*

kurchatovium: Like I said wrong side Idiot.
 
Thanks for the help HDS I think your flash of light gave me enough time to get the Gaze of Ages off.

Well Ball, Mammon and Belial are now toast I wonder how the rest of the battle goes.

*kurchatovium picks up his staff, his sunglasses and his Holy machine gun.*
 
Fantastic news HDS. I will have THE THREAD locate the portal to Level 9 and see if needs to be unlocked.
 
Already on it kurch. I actually found the portal just a little while ago. It was well hidden. It seems to be locked as well but the language is very cryptic and very very ancient. Perhaps HDS might recognize it?
 
I imagine there must be some sort of defense about the portal. Satan would not let his innermost door go unguarded...but then, he would never have expected anyone to get this far. 😀
 
Obviously, you must beware of booby traps near the portal to the 9th level. 😀 😛
 
Well THE THREAD found the portal and you are right it was well guarded and hidden but they did not count on anyone like THE THREAD coming upon it. Unfortunately it is encrypted in a very ancient language even THE THREAD has no record of. I am transmitting the data to you now. Perhaps you know what this is????

*transmits data to HDS's location*
 
Even THE THREAD doesn't know the ancient language? I am shocked. 😀 😛
 
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