The Year 2036

[Strelnikov]

1. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

3. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

4. Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

5. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

6. 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

7. Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

8. Texas executes last remaining citizen.

9. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

10. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

11. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

12. Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

13. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

14. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE it is installed.

15. New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2037.


Strelnikov

 

[venray]

 

[venray]

Headlines From The Year 2050

Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of Monopoly Charges

It Wasn't the Cigarettes -- It Was the Ashtrays

Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Anal Probes Were "Just For Fun"

Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President

Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union

Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This Is True Love," He Beams.

Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In DC

President "Bonecrusher" Jones to Face Chief Justice "Mad Dog" Ortega In Cage Match!

Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens

Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife

Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders

DC Zoo to Receive Rare Cow

 

[Prime]

i'm not sure but i think that deathclock site posted by Venray a while ago had me dying in like 2035....and i thought that was a bad thing until now.....lol

 

[dig dug dog]

"Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil
of Monopoly Charges"

Truer satire was never spoken--well done, man!

ddd

 

[ShiningIce]

5. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Strelnikov [/B][/QUOTE]

If he wins I'll leave the country!!

 

[Strelnikov]

Makes no difference to me -I expect that I'll be safely dead by that time.

Strelnikov

 

[talons]

Why? Whats your beef with our current Bush

 

[qjakal]

lol...

It's funny, but I bet at least a few of these are valid...which is either VERY funny or damn scary...I'll let you know, since only the good die young, I expect to be around for at least another few centuries... Q

 

[red indian]

Are you guys critisizing the President?

Blimey i got ticked of by the mods for it!

 

[evilqueen]

Just to keep the record straight

When red indian criticized Bush and got attacked by Krokus for it, here's what I said:

You're right red indian, you shouldn't have to endure direct abuse, so I'm editing it. And you're right that Bush is not above criticism. However your statement came across less as a critique than as a catcall, so you shouldn't be surprised by the response.

So often it's not what one says, it's how one says it that can either win agreement or start a fight; and that's all I was noting here.🙂

 

[qjakal]

EQ!

Hi EQ! Haven't run into you on a thread for awhile! As for red, don't answer him, it just encourages him...lol...I imagine him as a "Mr Mykyzpltlk" from the glory days of the SuperMan era...a gadfly that keeps one looking over your shoulder, but can be kind of interesting as well! Q

 

[dvnc]

Aw, hell, I look forward to red zingin' someone almost as much as I do to you, Q, in the same post wit' Strel. Ms. EvilQueen is encourages to shake, if not stirring. 😉

As for talons' defense of our current President, well, I'm amused. I'm sure Mr. Bush would be proud. I'm also quite certain he really wouldn't give a damn. "Dammit, some tiny, trivia deviant subculture is poking fun at my political status, and that my father was also president!" No, I just can't see the man caring one iota.

As for other predictions:
16. Courts rule that there must be a permit for parenting in the US. Minimum qualifications set.

17. US bails Ursa Minor out of debt, whips a little industry on them.

18. New subcutaneous device projects 5 foot virtual screen for users, with mental control. Sells with excercise equipment to keep humanity from total muscular atrophy.

 

[red indian]

Cross pond cultural divide AGAIN!!

Seems i have unearthed another difference between us, over here it is kind of taken as read that we take the piss out of our rulers and the higher up they are the more stick they get from the public and the press. They take it on the chin pretty well to. They also have to face much more hostile questioning from both the press,their opponents and indeed their own colleagues. Can you imagine Bush or Clinton for that matter handling "Prime Ministers questions" in the house of commons? I think they would be crying for momma in a very short space of time!!


Quiz question for Americans:- Now you have all jumped that difficult hurdle of knowing who the British Prime Minister is, can you name the deputy prime minister?

(Your guy is Dick Cheney before you ask)

 

[talons]

Wasn't actually sticking up for him yet. Was just wondering what the beef with him is? What has he done thus far that people are unhappy with?

 

[qjakal]

a guess?

John Prescott ring a bell? I imagine your restraining order names him as well as other chiefs of state...how many yards/meters DO you have to stay from them anyway, red? 😉 Q

 

[Prime]

Englands deputy prime minister is John Prescott.
God bless internet search engines.

 

[Prime]

Rats

i have to learn how to type faster....heh

 

[JoBelle]

Along the same thread....

SIGNS YOU LIVE IN THE YEAR 2002.............

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat.
He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa
but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if
it contains Echinacea.

7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn
so she can create a screen saver

8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home.

9. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom
of the screen.

10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now
sells for half the price you paid.

11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and you turn around
to go get it.

12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase
would be a hassle and take planning.

13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of
the back seat of your car.

14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.

15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.

17. Your idea of being organized is multi-colored Post-it notes.

18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.

20. You disconnect from the Internet and get an awful feeling,
as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

21. You get up in morning and go on-line before getting your coffee.

22. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on
your way back to bed.

23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

24. You're reading this.


I'm guilty of more than one of these...
Jo

 

[Prime]

Ok so maybe...just maybe..i have done #22 before on Jobelle's list.
However as for #20 when i had Aol i was using hoping i could pull the plug on it anyhow....heh....pretty good list Jobelle. 🙂

 

[red indian]

Well done full marks

but its easy with a seach engine i suppose.

 

[qjakal]

nope...

didn't use one...but there's been a lot of British press in the last year, and his name stuck in my mind as a incredibly traditional "British" moniker... Q

 

[red indian]

Ok Q fair play to you but...........

what is the one event Presscott is famous for (the only thing he is fanous for)?

 

[Sunday_10pm]

2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

How can one animal endager both plant and beast?

 

[Prime]

cuz them dang endangered critters are multitalented.