Tickle fetish easy to have?

[footamateur]

Look at it from another side of view: Imagine there is this pedophile running around tickling children to get a thrill, even a sexual one, out of it....would you still say it's his business and his alone? It's not like he would be doing anything else than you are now, would he? There would be no harm to anyone...

This is a scary thing to think....i was looking at it from another perspective, and indeed it looks bad when we take pictures or videos of tickling events, and then we transpose it on the pedobear that does the same with kids (some just gets off touching kids, not even sexually or in particular spots...are you still letting your kids to sit on santa's laps at the mall now, or let the clown/mascotte touch or grab them?).

Indeed if the pleasure that one experience is a personal thing (so a fetish is a personal experience of pleasure from acts that are not generally considered sexual); then would be the same for the pedobears, and i think that we all agree that this is wrong in many ways....I realized something tonight that is really shocking honestly since now I feel like shit, as guy that has a fetish and find pleasure in a personal act of tickling someone else.

 

[CuteJill143]

You are right since there is a whole vanilla side to all of this since it is social play. I am a lee so its harder to satisfy cravings. If It does get satisfied its barely lol which sucks about vanilla but I guess some is better than none.

 

[rhiannon]

are you still letting your kids to sit on santa's laps at the mall now, or let the clown/mascotte touch or grab them?).

That is what I am talking about....you shouldn't have to worry about each and everybody touching someone else in a way that you believe is innocent might be sexual to them!

This can only be guaranteed if the people who get sexual thrills out of apparently innocent things act decent about it and don't force their kinks on others.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Look at it from another side of view: Imagine there is this pedophile running around tickling children to get a thrill, even a sexual one, out of it....would you still say it's his business and his alone? It's not like he would be doing anything else than you are now, would he? There would be no harm to anyone...

Yes, he's most definitely doing something else than I am doing now. He's getting his jollies from unsuspecting kids. I'm getting mine from unsuspecting adults. If you see no difference...well, that says something about you, doesn't it?

You still haven't explained what you think is fucked up about what I do. Instead of trying to compare it to other behaviors, why not simply tell me what you find wrong with this behavior. If you can't do that, maybe there's a reason you can't.

 

[miskiduk]

Yes, he's most definitely doing something else than I am doing now. He's getting his jollies from unsuspecting kids. I'm getting mine from unsuspecting adults. If you see no difference...well, that says something about you, doesn't it?

You still haven't explained what you think is fucked up about what I do. Instead of trying to compare it to other behaviors, why not simply tell me what you find wrong with this behavior. If you can't do that, maybe there's a reason you can't.

Around 10 years ago I had a very close friend of mine turn out to be a paedophile (caught during a major national bust). The thing here is I'm both both proud and ashamed to say I shunned him as a result, just the same as all his close friends and family did. "Torn" I believe is the expression!
Please bear in mind that I do not condone paedophilia at all - such is our cultural viewpoint of such a crime that I feel compelled to say this at this point in my reply. However, I would like to pose the question (after giving the matter much thought due to my old friend) that how unethical does it make anything should the matter stay within someone's mind only - that it to say nothing is ever done in practice, merely remains within the mind? Sure, this isn't relevant in my old friend's case (notice how I feel compelled to keep reinforcing that he is my "old" friend and not a current one?) due him him being caught as he had moved his sexual preferences from his mind into actual practice. It is something to consider and think about before immediately jumping to a gut-reaction.
I was married for 5 years without ever daring to tell my wife I had a tickle fetish (yeah, ok, I kick myself now). Yet we had regular tickle-fights, more often than not leading to sex. I'm pretty confident she never knew I got off on it (since the physical proximity would warrant arousal alone). In her mind did I have a tickle fetish or not? Probably not, but in my mind quite the opposite.
In summary, what I am trying to say is that maybe it is not so horribly wrong for someone to get sexual arousal for something in their own mind. If no-one else is ever any the wiser about it, then what harm has it actually done? I suggest no harm, but only the happiness of the practitioner - which isn't necessarily such a bad thing, or is it?
Of course, this is hugely controversial, and I fully expect to be completely shot-down here (and will not even attempt to argue against anyone that does - I'm not convinced you would be wrong in doing so). I just have a firm belief that, when tackling any issue from a philosophical point of view, nothing can be taboo. Making anything taboo simply courts a lack of thought over the issue, and no issue is quite as black and white as it first appears.
Sorry, horrible issue I know. Just interested in other people's thoughts (and I mean thoughts - not just gut-reactions that you're supposed to have because our culture says so).

 

[rhiannon]

Yes, he's most definitely doing something else than I am doing now. He's getting his jollies from unsuspecting kids. I'm getting mine from unsuspecting adults. If you see no difference...well, that says something about you, doesn't it?

You still haven't explained what you think is fucked up about what I do. Instead of trying to compare it to other behaviors, why not simply tell me what you find wrong with this behavior. If you can't do that, maybe there's a reason you can't.

Well, what is the difference exactly? Just that you are getting your jollies from tickling, he gets it from kids! What is fucked up is the "unsuspecting" part, not who it is done to!

You know why pedophilia is such a bad thing for everybody involved, the pedophile himself included? Because the objects of his desire can not legally consent! Same thing with the people you are getting your jollies from! They have no chance to consent or tell you to back off because they do not know what you are doing.

The question is, do you think they would still let you tickle them if they knew you have a fetish for this? If you think they would, why don't you tell them? If you don't tell them, I think there is a reason you don't!

 

[Inverse]

It's not always the easiest thing for me, because tickling is still one of the hardest fetishes I have to confess to others. I can talk to people pretty openly about some more "extreme" concepts and people take it like I'm talking about the weather.

Tickling though~ it's never really acknowledged by anyone fairly for me. It's never recognized as a fetish even when I say it~ people nod their head and smile puzzedly, or it's disregarded. Though nobody is ever rude about it, it's an empty concept to many.

I remember Tom and Tasha having to go through that on Tyra Banks when they introduced tickling and getting that "WtF" look on her face that while wasn't necessarily attacking them for being fetishists~ was also a hollow response that invited indifference. It wasn't pleasant for them, I guarantee it.

Also, I can't just express tickling in a situation that's fetishistic with people who don't feel the same way about it. Even when people know about it~ if the other doesn't enjoy tickling in even a similar way, it's not the same. It's tickling, and I can enjoy it from the context of touching and bonding with another human being (which is the ultimate 'fetish' to me~) ... I can't say it satisfies my "tickling fetish".

There aren't many opportunities for me to say I can tickle another and they know my intent behind it is personal as well as sensual. That their reaction, their body~ their feelings are of such an importance to me the world could literally vanish beneath me and I wouldn't notice as long as my fingers are on their skin. If the tickling isn't at that level~ then it's just another touch.

I wouldn't say this is an easy fetish at all. It's a pleasant one~ I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, it's never easy.

 

[miskiduk]

It's not always the easiest thing for me, because tickling is still one of the hardest fetishes I have to confess to others.

It is difficult, I agree. However, I also have a fetish (or maybe not, depending on your opinion) for legs. How often have you heard the question "are you a legs or breasts man"? Think about it for a moment - surely, for anything sexual at least, all men should simply have a 'vagina fetish'. That's what it's all about isn't it? What is it that makes legs or breasts acceptable as objects of desire without even the merest hint that it's fetishism?
Is it the case that there is a whole spectrum of fetishes with some being considered more "normal" than others? Why is that so?
LOL, sorry to keep trying to make everyone think on this thread - I just love it when some thought goes into these things 🙂
Tell me to fuck off if you don't want to think, I'm used to it PMSL.

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

It should be easy to have.
If most people enjoy tickling the "vanilla" way. Once they realize they can tickle someone while they are tied up, a light bulb should go off in their heads like "of course thats so much better..." (or something like that; i pressume most of us figure into the category.
It's like tickling = good. Tickling and bondage = bad..

I actually have no idea what I'm talking about

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Well, what is the difference exactly? Just that you are getting your jollies from tickling, he gets it from kids! What is fucked up is the "unsuspecting" part, not who it is done to!

No, what is fucked up is the "kids" part. Whether or not a child "suspects," it's still pedophilia.

You know why pedophilia is such a bad thing for everybody involved, the pedophile himself included? Because the objects of his desire can not legally consent!

Are you serious? That's your only objection to pedophilia? A legal obstruction?? Well I'll tell you what I find bad about pedophilia. What's bad is that the child is still under-developed and in most cases innocent of such things. Children look to adults for care and nurture, and to exploit that dependency is cruel beyond words. Plus to even be attracted to children is fucked up in and of itself.

I think I've indulged your "pedophilia" tangent enough. If you want to discuss it further, I recommend you start a thread called "What's wrong with pedophilia?" I'm through talking about it here.

Same thing with the people you are getting your jollies from! They have no chance to consent or tell you to back off because they do not know what you are doing.

Yes they do. They know I'm tickling them and they are tickling me. They are fully consenting.

The question is, do you think they would still let you tickle them if they knew you have a fetish for this?

I don't know if they would or not. I suspect some would and others wouldn't. In any case the question is moot since they don't know about my fetish.

If you think they would, why don't you tell them? If you don't tell them, I think there is a reason you don't!

I don't tell them because it's my business and not theirs. There is a reason. I enjoy the tickling exchange. Why would I want to do anything to jeopardize such a sweet situation?

 

[miskiduk]

A few years back I had a girlfriend that wanted to lick my eyeballs! Go to Google and look up a list of fetishes, seriously, it's on there all right!
When put in perspective, provided it's done with no animosity, can you think of anything more fun and less offensive than tickling?
The question with any of these things simply comes down to sexual gratification, and whether it is actively/noticeably practiced or not.
For any fetish that can be effectively hidden I can't help but be reminded of the old question of if a tree falls down in a forest and there's no-one there to hear it, etc.
I repeat, I don't believe the answer to any of these sorts of questions is simply black & white - although we would all love them to be (it would make everything so easy wouldn't it?)

 

[rhiannon]

That's your only objection to pedophilia? A legal obstruction??

I am saying, just like any other preference, a pedophile did not chose it. He happens to have it. And unlike pretty much every other fetishist, he can never live it. I do not say he should! I think every pedophile who actually abuses a child should go, at the very least, to jail for life.

But there are more pedophiles who control their urges and do not ever touch a child because they know it is wrong!

This is what I expect from every other fetishist! That they control their urges and don't use me, as an unsuspecting participant, for gratification. I want to decide myself if I partake in a sexual/erotic interaction or not.

They know I'm tickling them and they are tickling me.

But they don't know that it turns you on. Would they still allow you to tickle them or tickle you if they knew?

In any case the question is moot since they don't know about my fetish.

I don't tell them because it's my business and not theirs. There is a reason. I enjoy the tickling exchange. Why would I want to do anything to jeopardize such a sweet situation?

Following your logic, it would be ok for a pedophile to tickle a child as long as the child and the parents don't know he is a pedophile. No harm done, right?

 

[CodeZero]

I suppose it's easier for some people than it is for others. I've never been that comfortable sharing that part of myself with the people I deal with on a daily basis; I just didn't think they'd get it and just look at me weird. But I was fortunate to find 2 people that were very open and understanding about my tickle fetish and they coincidentally happen to be my closest friends...so a silver lining i suppose : )

 

[Cavum]

Even I can't complaint on the life I live as a tickle fetishist, it's not allways easy (at least not here in Norway). I still haven't met another tickle fetishist in real life and for some reason it's easier to find girls who likes to be beated half to death than being tickled over here

This is also one of the reasons why it's been a quiet year from me on the video front 🙁

 

[Inverse]

I suppose it's easier for some people than it is for others. I've never been that comfortable sharing that part of myself with the people I deal with on a daily basis; I just didn't think they'd get it and just look at me weird. But I was fortunate to find 2 people that were very open and understanding about my tickle fetish and they coincidentally happen to be my closest friends...so a silver lining i suppose : )

The best people that should ever know something that close to your heart should most likely already be there. <3

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

This is what I expect from every other fetishist! That they control their urges and don't use me, as an unsuspecting participant, for gratification.

That sounds funny coming from someone who's posted nude pictures of herself on this forum. Not to worry. I'm sure all the guys who've downloaded those pictures are fully respecting your wishes.

I want to decide myself if I partake in a sexual/erotic interaction or not.

You can always want, but the world doesn't necessarily work that way. The pedicurist you visit regularly might be masturbating frantically over the mental images of your feet after you've gone. She may be a pedicurist for no other reason apart from a raging foot fetish. As long as that pedicurist maintains a professional demeanor while on the job, I have no problem with it as a customer. Why? Because it's none of my business to know what's going on in her head.

It's the same thing with people pretending to like you. If somebody thinks I'm an asshole (and many do, you've no doubt guessed), but still treats me well, they will get good treatment from me. When they start treating me like an asshole, that's where my objections begin.

But they don't know that it turns you on. Would they still allow you to tickle them or tickle you if they knew?

I've already answered this question in my last response when you asked me it before. I refer you to post 35 of this thread.

The bottom line is that it's none of their business, as long as I treat them well, by giving no sign of arousal, or acting in any way amorous. For them, it's just horseplay. They don't need to know it's something more with me. That's my business and nobody else's.

You seem to feel you have the right to know just how turned on somebody is by you at all times. There is no such right. I've been enormously aroused at times, just dancing with a woman. By your philosophy, I should not dance with such a woman until I first blurt out how much she turns me on.

As I said, you can want. But the world doesn't necessarily work that way.

 

[Inverse]

There's a pretty large difference between masturbating over a fantasy, or even a person from afar~ and getting sexual gratification from touch without consent. Yes, your point is true~ it most likely will happen whether anyone likes it or not. Doesn't stop you from being kind of creepy for it, but sure~ it'll happen.

You're both offering valid points that don't even counter the other, but you have to admit just because something is doesn't make it right in certain contexts. If you can't make your peace with that, then you've got more things to deal with than the context of this thread allows. You're entitled to your feelings~ of course, but you should also be comfortable about the reality of those feelings. You can't reason with it, or justify it~ you just deal with it. Everyone else should to do the same.

...and sorry, when you touch someone else, it is their business. I don't know you, but the fact you can't respect people you're close enough to have physical contact with, makes me very cautious of you.

 

[miskiduk]

Been thinking about this subject again...
Although I always prefer to consider grey areas as possibilities, and not to always assume any black & white - I think it's fairly safe to consider it plain wrong. In the opinions of almost anyone (or so I believe) that you would pose the question to, it would seem to be pretty well covered by the "Do unto others..." principle. That principle is typically enough for any right-minded individual to make a sound moral judgement.
However, if no-one (other than the perpetrator) is even remotely aware, then there is potentially no actual harm done. Or maybe not, it could certainly be argued that 'successfully' committing a wrong-doing paves the way to make it easier and easier as time goes on. There is a known concept called 'Escalating Fetishism' that springs to mind here, and each little stepping stone can lead to something increasingly worse. What starts off as effectively harmless can ultimately turn into something nasty.
Of course, I'm just using the old slippery slope argument there. Maybe (hopefully) I just made a big deal about nothing.

 

[miskiduk]

Aside from my last post I'd also like to point out that this is a message board (no shit!). In these types of environments you tend to find some quite opposing viewpoints stated that may well not happen in other circumstances - and not just necessarily that people are less afraid to hide them in the disembodiment of the internet. In many circumstances it often transpires that there was never actually any disagreement in the first place, or that the viewpoints are really much closer than they first appeared.
On a message board, once a personal attack has been made, it is almost always the case that they will rise to defend their corner - and maybe in the extreme. It is an instinctive reaction after all.
How difficult is it sometimes to judge someone's true feeling from text only? Not everyone is a poet, and even that's subjective. I presume that reason is why emoticons were invented 🙂

 

[rhiannon]

There's a pretty large difference between masturbating over a fantasy, or even a person from afar~ and getting sexual gratification from touch without consent. Yes, your point is true~ it most likely will happen whether anyone likes it or not. Doesn't stop you from being kind of creepy for it, but sure~ it'll happen.

You're both offering valid points that don't even counter the other, but you have to admit just because something is doesn't make it right in certain contexts. If you can't make your peace with that, then you've got more things to deal with than the context of this thread allows. You're entitled to your feelings~ of course, but you should also be comfortable about the reality of those feelings. You can't reason with it, or justify it~ you just deal with it. Everyone else should to do the same.

...and sorry, when you touch someone else, it is their business. I don't know you, but the fact you can't respect people you're close enough to have physical contact with, makes me very cautious of you.

Thank you, that is exactly what I mean!

That sounds funny coming from someone who's posted nude pictures of herself on this forum. Not to worry. I'm sure all the guys who've downloaded those pictures are fully respecting your wishes.

Uhm, when I upload nude pictures of me in a fetish forum, I am fully aware that it turns guys on! 🙂 What do you think I am, stupid? 🙂 I post these pics in a ticklish spots thread because I WANT to tease! 🙂

The pedicurist you visit regularly might be masturbating frantically over the mental images of your feet after you've gone.

Okay, you think this is okay. Do you also think it's okay if the pedophile children's doctor does the same thing? If not, why not?

 

[WorkInProgress]

Rhinnon is making a very legitimate point and DAJT is not even trying to understand it. The unfairness of pedophilia is not the law, but the lot in life of being afflicted with an unfulfillable sexual urge. The general public doesn't think of the pedophile as being afflicted with something, but it is the case. For obvious reasons, the pedophile who acts on those urges must be jailed, but one still needs to be aware that it is an affliction and a struggle.

 

[rhiannon]

Thank you, WorkInProgress! 🙂

I understand where the feelings towards pedophilia come from...all you hear about are those monsters who actually did rape a child. Nobody ever thinks about the people who kill themselves before they would touch a child, who actually muster up the courage to go to a psychologist and get help even though it means chemical castration.

I used to get very aggressive about pedophilia myself, before I actually really informed myself about it and heard about the other side of the coin. Just as not every man who doesn't have a partner goes out and rapes someone, not every pedophile touches a child!

 

[Inverse]

Last two posts are some of the most respected thread derails I've ever read. <3 They're both very true.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Rhinnon is making a very legitimate point and DAJT is not even trying to understand it. The unfairness of pedophilia is not the law, but the lot in life of being afflicted with an unfulfillable sexual urge. The general public doesn't think of the pedophile as being afflicted with something, but it is the case. For obvious reasons, the pedophile who acts on those urges must be jailed, but one still needs to be aware that it is an affliction and a struggle.

Hey WIP, good to see you outside P&R.

It's not that I'm not trying to understand Rhiannon's point about pedophilia. I've already addressed it earlier in this thread and when I did, I warned her that I was through discussing pedophilia in this thread because it was off topic. I've been since ignoring her references to pedophilia because it doesn't pertain to what we're discussing, and there are strict rules about keeping on topic.

But it seems that for whatever reason, she can't explain what she finds "fucked up" in what I do without comparing it to pedophilia. My feeling is that if she wants to debate what I do as being wrong, she should be able to do so without referring to an unrelated topic. She should be able to say, "It's wrong because blah blah blah..." Not ask questions on my feelings about pedophilia.

WIP, you've no doubt heard of Godwin's Law? You know. The one that says "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."

I propose a new law called "Rhiannon's Clause" which states "As an online discussion regarding the morality of fetish behavior becomes longer, the probability of a comparison to pedophilia approaches 1."

I'll tell you what. If Rhiannon or anybody else starts a thread with the title

"If you deliberately instigate a consensual tickling scene with someone who doesn't know it excites you sexually, is that the moral equivalent of pedophilia?"​

I will be happy to explore that imaginary parallel all she wants.

 

[mabus]

How dare you talk about Hitler!

Nazis!!!!!!!!!!!

Let the second off-topic derailing begin......