tickled to death dvds...

[jfire101]

has anyone ordered a dvd from these guys? just want to know what the packaging is like? i dont want the people i live with to know im getting a tickling dvd! help!

 

[Libertine]

Order away...

has anyone ordered a dvd from these guys? just want to know what the packaging is like? i dont want the people i live with to know im getting a tickling dvd! help!

As is common practice with all purveyors of adult material, the packaging is a lurid fluorescent pink, with the word 'PERVERT' substituted for the 'Mr.' in your address in large Day-Glo lime green letters.

Your order will arrive in a 'Special Delivery' van with siren blaring and flashing red Neon lights on each side reading 'WARNING-THIS VAN IS ABOUT TO DELIVER A DISGUSTING DVD WITH ABERRANT SEXUAL CONTENT' and very often most of the younger and more attractive female post office staff members will accompany the deliveryman to your door, so they can point and laugh at you when you sign for it.

Your close family and housemates will be arrested and questioned about you by FBI agents, who have been tipped off by the video producer. This will be covered by all national news channels. Additionally, your neighbours and the local elementary school will be alerted to your vile proclivities by the billboards featuring your picture and address, which the video company will pay to have erected around your neighbourhood. And if you attend church, your clergyman will have been instructed by a letter co-signed by the world's principal religious leaders to preach a sermon all about Sodom and Gomorrah, citing YOU as a prime example of degenerate behaviour to the rest of the understandably horrified congregation.

Gratitude for larger orders is demonstrated by hiring the Goodyear Blimp to float over your town for a week or so, towing a banner detailing your foul sexual desires.

This is standard procedure in the Adult Entertainment Industry, and is the way they ensure future business for themselves.

 

[TheEliteOne]

As is common practice with all purveyors of adult material, the packaging is a lurid fluorescent pink, with 'PERVERT' substituted for the 'Mr.' in your address in large Day-Glo lime green letters.

Your order will arrive in a 'Special Delivery' van with siren blaring and flashing red Neon lights on each side reading 'WARNING-THIS VAN IS ABOUT TO DELIVER A DISGUSTING DVD WITH ABERRANT SEXUAL CONTENT' and very often most of the younger and more attractive female post office staff members will accompany the deliveryman to your door, so they can point and laugh at you when you sign for it.

Your close family and housemates will be arrested and questioned about you by FBI agents, who have been tipped off by the video producer. This will be covered by all national news channels. Additionally, your neighbours and the local elementary school will be alerted to your vile proclivities by the billboards featuring your picture and address, which the video company will pay to have erected around your neighbourhood. And if you attend church, your clergyman will have been alerted to preach a sermon all about Sodom and Gomorrah, citing YOU as a prime example of degenerate behaviour to the rest of the understandably horrified congregation.

Gratitude for larger orders is demonstrated by hiring the Goodyear Blimp to float over your town for a week or so, towing a banner detailing your foul sexual desires.

This is standard procedure in the Adult Entertainment Industry, and is the way they ensure future business for themselves.

So that's what i should expect when I order such a DVD? Nice! I'll be on TV!

 

[duannewalton]

As is common practice with all purveyors of adult material, the packaging is a lurid fluorescent pink, with the word 'PERVERT' substituted for the 'Mr.' in your address in large Day-Glo lime green letters.

Your order will arrive in a 'Special Delivery' van with siren blaring and flashing red Neon lights on each side reading 'WARNING-THIS VAN IS ABOUT TO DELIVER A DISGUSTING DVD WITH ABERRANT SEXUAL CONTENT' and very often most of the younger and more attractive female post office staff members will accompany the deliveryman to your door, so they can point and laugh at you when you sign for it.

Your close family and housemates will be arrested and questioned about you by FBI agents, who have been tipped off by the video producer. This will be covered by all national news channels. Additionally, your neighbours and the local elementary school will be alerted to your vile proclivities by the billboards featuring your picture and address, which the video company will pay to have erected around your neighbourhood. And if you attend church, your clergyman will have been instructed by a letter co-signed by the world's principal religious leaders to preach a sermon all about Sodom and Gomorrah, citing YOU as a prime example of degenerate behaviour to the rest of the understandably horrified congregation.

Gratitude for larger orders is demonstrated by hiring the Goodyear Blimp to float over your town for a week or so, towing a banner detailing your foul sexual desires.

This is standard procedure in the Adult Entertainment Industry, and is the way they ensure future business for themselves.

Not to mention the fact that Dr. Phill will get a (hopefully Sweeps) week's worth of shows out of you.

 

[jfire101]

Shit! Thanks fir the short explanation! Where do people get the time to write such things!

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

ROFL!!! Brilliant, sir!

Seriously, though... I thought Drew was the only one this has happened to. Go figure!

OK, now serious for real. I wouldn't worry about it. These companies know all too well what it's like. They want their customers coming back. So, things are very generic and low key.

 

[jfire101]

Shit! Thanks fir the short explanation! Where do people get the time to write such things!

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

He's originally from Canada and now lives in England. Need I say more?

 

[milagros317]

That's hilarious, Libertine. 😀

 

[dvnc]

Brilliant. Trully deft, Libertine!