Tickling a vanilla who doesn't 'know'

[ParanoidChant]

Is engaging in a tickle fight with someone who doesn't know about your fetish inherently wrong? Discuss.

 

[Aimee]

What? No!
As long as you don't tie them up and tickle them without consent what would be the harm there?

 

[BlackestLily]

Um...well...if your intention was to get a boner off from them...then uh I imagine they might have issue with that if it was a friend.

 

[chicago]

Tickling is a social thing. It's part of flirting and it's relatively innocent. If you are too scared to open up to someone about your fetish, and you find yourself relying on what would appear to be innocent and light-hearted rough-housing for your masturbatory fodder, you've got more issues than you'd probably like to admit. Some people are too naive to realize the disturbing layer of psychosis that lies beneath the creepy smile of a person as they are tickling someone and looking forward to going home and writing on the boards about it. Just because people don't know they are being taken advantage of, does not mean it's right.

 

[ElFewja]

I don't think there's a straight-forward answer to this, because I think the question is a bit more complicated than it appears. There are, to me, too many factors and varying degrees of acceptable for it to be answered with a simple yes or no.

For example, I have a hard time detaching the sexuality of tickling girls, but others might not.

I'd think the short answer is, because there are people that can detach themselves from their sexual urges or this fetish, that, just by being associated with this fetish, it is not inherently wrong to engage in a tickle fight. Because there are people that are involved, and can, it's not; but that doesn't mean it always is, I think is what I'm saying?

I dunno. I'm thinking too much.

Also, if someone starts a tickle fight with me, I'm totally going to own them regardless. Too competitive to not. I may or may not feel bad about it later, but hell, they brought it upon themselves >>.

Etc.

Oh, hey, I forgot. Aimee: There isn't harm in the immediate situation, you're right, but I think, like one of the first posters (yeah sorry, it doesn't show other posts on the edit screen, so I can't see the name), if someone is just walking up to his friends and tickling them with the intent to masturbate to it later or something, then yeah, there is something wrong with it. There's no direct harm to the person, assuming it didn't go farther than light tickles, but it's just wrong. I think the best way to analyze it would be to change the situation; would it feel invasive to you if a friend (this is really stupid but I can't think of a good fetish that would work) played some video games with you, and later you found out he masterbated to those memories? Something playful and socially acceptable, I dunno. Brain is fried. If someone gets the chance, come up with a less stupid analogy for me D:.

Man I'm insecure. Third edit. I think in the above I'm referencing this stupid craigslist thing, assuming that it's real of course. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

The title is "Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w" and sort of says it all.

Etc again.

 

[rhiannon]

I agree with most of what was said before.....if you do it to get sexual gratification or a masturbation fantasy out of it - then yes, it is wrong!

 

[McNoodle]

If both parties find it fun, I don't see it as wrong. If one party does not enjoy it, than it is definitely wrong. If one enjoys it in a different way than the other, then follow your own moral code of acceptance. If you still feel you need to justify it, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

 

[rhiannon]

If both parties find it fun, I don't see it as wrong. If one party does not enjoy it, than it is definitely wrong. If one enjoys it in a different way than the other, then follow your own moral code of acceptance. If you still feel you need to justify it, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

I say forcing your sexuality on someone who is unsuspecting and therefore can't consent is just not right.

 

[McNoodle]

I'm not sure I follow where the forcing your sexuality comes in Rhiannon? Which statement alludes to it please?

 

[rhiannon]

If tickling turns you on sexually, and you start a ticklefight with someone for your own sexual gratification, you are forcing your sexuality on the other person. You take advantage of their lack of knowledge and basically lure them into doing something that they probably wouldn't do if they knew how it affects you.

 

[McNoodle]

I agree totally based on my own set of morals. I'm just not sure why you quoted what I said when making that statement.

 

[rhiannon]

Because you said that it would be okay if both parties enjoyed it. I don't think that's the case, because it might be that one party would not enjoy it any longer if they knew it's sexually arousing for the other party.

 

[McNoodle]

I said if both people found it fun my dear. Not sexually stimulating, but fun. I personally love tickling and obviously have the fetish but a tickle fight to me is not arousing. It is playful. Now in a more one sided affair the heat factor increases in my world.
I probably should have worded the third scenario better to erase all doubt on the intent of the first. My bad.

 

[rhiannon]

🙂 If it is not sexual and just fun to both, it's of course alright!

 

[chuckle]

I say forcing your sexuality on someone who is unsuspecting and therefore can't consent is just not right.

I agree with u!

 

[Cif]

Tickling is a social thing. It's part of flirting and it's relatively innocent. If you are too scared to open up to someone about your fetish, and you find yourself relying on what would appear to be innocent and light-hearted rough-housing for your masturbatory fodder, you've got more issues than you'd probably like to admit. Some people are too naive to realize the disturbing layer of psychosis that lies beneath the creepy smile of a person as they are tickling someone and looking forward to going home and writing on the boards about it. Just because people don't know they are being taken advantage of, does not mean it's right.

I agree 100% with you, here.

 

[Cif]

My feelings towards this are strange, because I don't often tickle people on the basis that it does work for me sexually, and to be honest, if I didn't feel that way, I wouldn't go to friends/strangers etc and just grab their boobs. This is on a personal level as well as the fact that people understand the connotations of me grabbing their boobs. To me personally, its wrong to exploit ignorance for gratification because at the end of the day, its sexual.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I think the real answer to the original question has more to do with the dynamics of that particular relationship than with any general principles about the tickling fetish. Between a man and a woman who are circumstantially eligible to be dating, tickling is a form of playful flirting, and the real question is what level of flirting is all right in a particular relationship. There are several women friends of mine I can get away with tickling, and they know all about my fetish. In one instance, I told a woman I had a fetish, she asked me what it was, and I said "Doing this!" and gave her belly a tickle. She was enchanted. But it's important to make sure you know what relationship you have with the person, because they won't all be so cool with it. Again, the answer to your original question is a matter of what relationship you have with the particular person in question.

 

[rhiannon]

Does it really depend on the relationship? I don't think so! You wouldn't just walk up to the girl you're dating and grab her breasts, would you?

 

[Cif]

There is obviously a stigma in regard to grabbing somebody's breasts, because its a well known action of sexual aggravation in this case, but tickling isn't necessarily a well known fetish and is easily mistaken for something much lighter. I think its scary that its such a simple possibility to just tickle somebody but actually, not to their knowledge, be [getting straight to the point] sexually involved in the act.

 

[rhiannon]

There is obviously a stigma in regard to grabbing somebody's breasts, because its a well known action of sexual aggravation in this case, but tickling isn't necessarily a well known fetish and is easily mistaken for something much lighter. I think its scary that its such a simple possibility to just tickle somebody but actually, not to their knowledge, be [getting straight to the point] sexually involved in the act.

That's a reason why we should all be happy that the public isn't all that aware of tickling as a fetish!

 

[WorkInProgress]

Does it really depend on the relationship? I don't think so! You wouldn't just walk up to the girl you're dating and grab her breasts, would you?

I don't know about grab, but in a private setting, giving them a spontaneous little caress would be no great crime. There's certainly plenty in my post that can be engaged with and disagreed with, but you have by no means succeeded in dismissing it with your question, because your question has loads of complexities in itself, rather than cutting through the complexity and in any way speaking for itself for its simplicity.

 

[rhiannon]

It was a stupid example anyways, now when I think about it. Touching breasts is pretty obviously sexual, while tickling isn't. I just feel like it's sneaky to do something to someone that they consider harmless and the other person considers sexual. Comes pretty close to malicious fraud if you ask me! 🙂

It feels wrong no matter what relationship you are in!

 

[WorkInProgress]

It was a stupid example anyways, now when I think about it. Touching breasts is pretty obviously sexual, while tickling isn't. I just feel like it's sneaky to do something to someone that they consider harmless and the other person considers sexual. Comes pretty close to malicious fraud if you ask me! 🙂

It feels wrong no matter what relationship you are in!

In some instances I'll agree with you. I'll say this much, too: a ticklephile should probably not engage in any tickle play in relationships where flirting itself would be verboten. I think ticklephiles should refrain from tickling children, and should be very careful what they do in all other instances. But it's because I regard tickling as a form of flirting that, to some extent, the entry "rules of appropriateness for tickling" in my glossary is cross-referenced to "rules of appropriateness for flirting." But I must stress, I'm with you to a considerable extent.

 

[Excess]

It's wrong in the same way that staring at someone's ass would be wrong. <_<