To Safeword or not to safeword...

[luvtoez_1982]

safeword++

I use a safeword when playing. both as lee and ler it's an important part of communication and trust. i recently met (converted!!) a lady who has been awesome about my tickling thing. She is at the point that she takes the initiative to tickle me... restraints and all! we are both very ticklish, so we use 'red light' if it becomes too much.

 

[ThisLilPiggy]

Not to safeword. To safeword is to be uncertain. And uncertainty can be unhappiness in disguise.

 

[TKL_M28_LI_NY]

My absolute best tickling session used a pseudo-safeword: the safeword didn't stop the tickling, it meant "continue for another fifteen minutes."

Try THAT.

 

[Angel77]

I think whether you use safewords or choose to not use them, it ultimately depends on what you're comfortable with. There's not really a right or wrong answer, just what is best for you.

 

[Flatfoot]

2.) developing a really painful cramp

This has happened to me before, and it SUCKS! However, when this happened, I didn't need a safeword. Just telling my tickler "Ow! Shit! Cramp! My arm's cramping!" sufficed. After that, I only restrain my arms out to the sides, instead of over my head.

 

[ViperGTS]

It's mostly to do with how you want to play. Some people like to be tickled to the brink of their physical limits, others want to just goof around. A safeword can mean a number of different things - personally, I like the safeword to mean "something hurts!" rather than "it tickles too much!" because I don't think there is such a thing as "it tickles too much!" unless it starts to hurt, in which case it stops being tickling, now doesn't it?

 

[DLazarus]

It's mostly to do with how you want to play. Some people like to be tickled to the brink of their physical limits, others want to just goof around. A safeword can mean a number of different things - personally, I like the safeword to mean "something hurts!" rather than "it tickles too much!" because I don't think there is such a thing as "it tickles too much!" unless it starts to hurt, in which case it stops being tickling, now doesn't it?

I don't usually agree with you Viper, but I do agree with you on this point. You were right on target.

 

[ViperGTS]

I don't usually agree with you Viper, but I do agree with you on this point. You were right on target.

Why thank you. *bows*

 

[myth77]

I'm really glad this question was asked. I was thinking about whether or not I ever wanted to use a safeword, and I don't think I want to, because I really love being tickled (blushing🙂. But thinking about it, that would only apply if I had a bond or romantic relationship with the guy doing it, and I would not want to use a safeword because I would want to endure for as long as he wanted to dish it out (totally blushing🙂. (I am still so shy about wanting to be tickled, I feel like I have to whisper in my own head this next part so I don't even hear myself🙂 I kind of fantasize about being in an intense session, and at some point the guy keeps asking me what the safeword is, and I have to tell him there isn't one, which just makes me hotter because I know he is not going to stop, and its my fault😀 I am now going to stand in front of an open freezer, good night everybody 🙂

 

[Gadilici]

Wow, Myth. I mean wow.

You are officially my favorite newbie 😀. Love that.

Christopher

 

[myth77]

Wow, Myth. I mean wow.

You are officially my favorite newbie 😀. Love that.

Christopher

😀

 

[texastickler]

Hey Gemini Sweetie. I always establish a safe word with my 'lee. I have found that sometimes knowing it is establishd helps. You know it is there but you need not use if you are having fun. It is a word to make you feel safe, not just to end a session. Good luck with everything. Safe words are awesome.

 

[method11236]

What do we mean by "owner"?

 

[Gadilici]

Blushing and a cheesy grin....

Then you should enjoy knowing that my hands were shaking when I got done reading your little post.

😀

Now just say the word..."ticklish"....

Christopher

 

[BrightEyes1082]

What do we mean by "owner"?

Dominant.

 

[myth77]

Blushing and a cheesy grin....

Then you should enjoy knowing that my hands were shaking when I got done reading your little post.



Now just say the word..."ticklish"....

Christopher

😀

... I can't say it🙂. I have to fight blushing just to type it 😀 😉

 

[Gadilici]

Definitely my favorite new person. Or at least new to me.

That is simply the most enticing thing ever....

😀

... I can't say it🙂. I have to fight blushing just to type it 😀 😉

Christopher

 

[vellicator]

This is always a great discussion ! So many varied opinions and ideas. My own view point is that you have to get to know the Lee very well. Understand her level of sensitivity, desires, what mutual interests you both share. As in , a playfull kind of tickle to more intense and D/s or BDSM themed scenario. Then one can take things to the next level. I have felt that in a first time situation it is good to establish a safe word. Or an alternative method that I do not think I have read ( I could be wrong ) is a timed amount. That way the Lee can beg say "stop" plead and the Ler can ignore that , both knowing that in 5 or 10 or whatever min the tickling will stop. And with the lee knowing she might use a safeword too early but cant help it.
But everything rests on the relationship and connection between the lee and the ler. I am not sure one particular answer goes for every situation. Some will use a variety of code words ex yellow = slow down, red = stop etc
Some might not use any. Some situations the ler is very much tuned into the lee, carefully noticing all the reactions and he/she knows where the limits are.
It seems that each pair or situation will have to discover their own parameters. Yet it is good have, initially created, established and an understood set of boundries and level of communication. After that the possibilities are endless and the sky is the limit

I am getting tired and hope I have not rambled on too bad.

V

 

[rhiannon]

My absolute best tickling session used a pseudo-safeword: the safeword didn't stop the tickling, it meant "continue for another fifteen minutes."

Try THAT.

So what if you use the safeword if something is REALLY wrong? How do 15 more minutes feel in that case?

I always feel like lee and ler can let themselves go better if a safeword is used.