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Van Helsing

phatteus

TMF Master
Joined
Mar 15, 2003
Messages
665
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I was unfortunate enough to get a ticket to see Van Helsing on opening night. Let me just say that none of you should make the same mistake.
First off, the film itself was incredibly dull. The cinemetography was bad, the special effects were rather lackluster, and the monsters were entirely one-dimensional. Probably the most interesting character in the entire film, Mr.Hyde (of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, portrayed by Harry Potter's Robbie Coltrane) is killed off in the first few minutes of the film, and is laid to waste as a victim of what little character development was attempted for Gabriel Van Helsing's shallow, brooding character.
In fact, there was not one character in the entire film which was properly developed. Tertiary characters like Falcon, (Kate Beckinsdale's character's brother... a werewolf) and Victor Frankenstein were used almost as a "hey look" and were then discarded like hollywood extras. We never really learn much about Van Helsing's past: a mystery which the film tries to tell you is the main plot of the film, but still doesn't explain much farther than explaining why Dracula knows him. The film hints at the fact that Van Helsing is over 1700 years old, but doesn't explain what he is.
Conversely, we are constantly reminded that the brides of Dracula are vampires. They almost never leave the screen, and almost never stop shrieking. Inexplicably, the brides of Dracula have all the mystical powers bestowed upon Vladislav Dracula himself: strength, persuasion, and the ability to morph into a bat of sorts... except the "bats" of this installment of the Dracula canon look more like Kowakian Monkey Lizards than anything else.
Just as inexplicably, Dracula's castle is inhabited by beings which are referred to only as Dracula's servants. They walked like Oompa-Loompas and looked like Jawas. They did nothing to advance the plot, and were little more than screen filler.
The film also perfoms the deadly deus ex machina trick, in which dozens of vampires are about to kill the triumverate of heroes, and one of the characters pulls out a "sunlight bomb" which kills all the bad guys. Oh, also, only Van Helsing can kill Dracula because blah blah blah I was asleep.
Van Helsing had some nice toys, and some great moves, and a funny sidekick (The Lord of the Rings' David Wenham) but little more. It was a one dimensional film for a three dimensional audience. I would not reccomend this film.
 
I figured that this movie was treading in cornball waters when I saw the previews and they billed Van Helsing against "Dracula", "The Wolfman", and "Frankenstein"......when they mention Frankenstein, they show the newest version of his creation, the monster.
Wouldn't it made more sense to bill this part as "Frankenstein's monster"...... as Frankenstein was the actually builder of said monster?
Plus I was reading some reviews of this flick and they all said it was kinda dull. For a true character with personality, I'd go with David Carradine in "Kill Bill vol. 2"


Drew
 
Van Boring...

Nice and honest review, Phatteus.

Unfortunately, I suggested seeing this movie next week to a bunch of cohorts...hmmm, maybe it's not too late to change the choice of film.

Sad to hear that it was so one-dimensional, though. The adverts looked great...then again, I guess that's what adverts are s'posed to do, eh?

Cheers.😀
 
TklDuo-Drew said:
For a true character with personality, I'd go with David Carradine in "Kill Bill vol. 2"


Drew

Yeah, it's too bad that both of the Kill Bill movies sucked too....
 
noooooooo i had my hopes up with this film. Do i have to wait untill spiderman 2 to see a good film?🙁
 
Van Wilder was better

I'm sorry if I've shattered anyone's expectations, I jusy wanted to let you all know what I got out of the film. This does not mean that you (plural) might not enjoy it much more than I did...
I went onti the theatre expecting much more than was delivered, and was truly disappointed; almost to the point of anger.

I too am anticipating Spiderman 2. If the first one was any indication, the second installment ought to be great!
 
How would you say Van Helsing compared to....say.... The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Better or worse?

I'm curious, and I've had my doubts about it, but I also had doubts about LOEG, which I ended up liking.
 
I'm a huge horror movie fan (but it has to be a GOOD one.) I remember watching the trailer for Van Helsing and snorting--I knew this was going to suck out loud--why didn't they just call it "Freddy Meets Jason Part II But With Characters That Are Classic"? 🙄

XOXO
 
it was like Indiana Jones with monsters. I knew I was in trouble when they were showing pictures on a screen (in a very ‘getting Bond ready for his mission’ kind of underground lab) and they showed pictures of the stars of the movie. headshots in costume pretty much. when I saw her... I thought, oh ok, there’s the love interest.

I actually think it would have better if it had goofed on itself a little more. it was cornball/quirky and would have been better off working with that.
 
It's funny....I now have no interest in seeing "Van Halsing", yet I saw "League of Distinguished Gentlemen" twice and really enjoyed it.
In a stupid, "I can't believe how ridiculous this is"-sort of way.


Drew
 
Drew, you might enjoy this one in that same way. my eight year old LOVED it and the grown-ups and I had a great time goofing on it.
 
I never saw The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen... but I wanted to. I got turned off when I saw what they'd done with Mr. Hyde: Much the same way Van Helsing's people did with Hyde, they made him HUGE!

If you ever read Robert Louis Stevenson's novel "The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde, you'd know that Mister Hyde is the evil part of Doctor Jekyll, and therefore much smaller than Jekyll himself. Why Hyde needs to be portrayed as enormous is beyond me. I would find a small evil person much more frightening anyway, simply based on the fact that Stevenson's Hyde has strength which is incongruous with his stature.
 
Those are some of the best movies to watch sometimes, Ayla. When you can just sit back and rank on it the whole time. Like those stupid robots and Joel and Mike used to do on "Mystery Science Theater 3000".


Drew
 
I was always under the assumption that Mr. Hyde was regular size, Phatteus. Even when he met Abbott and Costello, he was an ordinary-sized guy. It was so stupid in "League" when they made Hyde almost "Hulk" size.....if not bigger.


Drew
 
Drew, if you decide to see it... think “bats in a popcorn popper”. you’ll know what I mean when you see it!

I only caught that show a couple of times (I do that way too often with shows that I happen upon and like) but they would have had a blast with this one!

phatteus, I’m embarrassed to admit that I only know Hyde from the zillion or so references to him. the original concept does sound way more interesting.
 
While Van Helsing was not quite as good as Lazarus and I were hoping it would be, we were in no way as disappointed with it as it seems most people are. The plot was quite weak, and it left far more questions than it gave answers, but the movie was great eye candy, had some killer special effects, and was worth the $8 to see it on the big screen as opposed to the television set in our living room.

Mimi
 
I was so looking forward to that movie, but i guess i will wait for it to come out in the dollar theaters
 
I'll probably be too broke to see it in the theatres. I think I'll just sit this one out and wait for the dvd rental.
 
Was tossing around the idea of going to see it

with a few friends tonight, but threw my shoulder out in helping said friends move! OUCH but now I gotta rethink wanting to see it! LOL

And I am a nut for every Vampire movie that comes out!

Ghostie
 
All i will say that it was decent, the special effects could've been better and Hyde should have lived longer than he did, but overall, I give it two stars.

besides people, what did you really expect from the film, and Meemster, did you actually think the plot would be strong?
 
Mimi said:
The plot was quite weak, and it left far more questions than it gave answers Mimi

I always thought that some movies did that so they would be guaranteed a sequel or spinoff or some such 🙄 I still look forward to seeing Van Helsing.


 
to each his own i guess?

i know 3 peole that saw it this weekend, they liked it.
gave it ratings of between 3-3.5 stars.
i'll see it, and decide for myself. but then we all liked "league of extraordinary gentlmen".

steve
 
I loved Van Helsing!!!

Mimi said:
While Van Helsing was not quite as good as Lazarus and I were hoping it would be, we were in no way as disappointed with it as it seems most people are. The plot was quite weak, and it left far more questions than it gave answers, but the movie was great eye candy, had some killer special effects, and was worth the $8 to see it on the big screen as opposed to the television set in our living room.

Mimi


I loved this movie!!!
It was vague for a reason...you aren't supposed to know everything.
(Geez, don't you know there will be part II 😉 )
Just enjoy the ride, I loved the "James Bond" moments, I thought they were funny AND I thought the movie did take "shots" at itself...
Here is what I said...if you liked "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns"
you will LOVE this movie!!
Same idea...lots of stuff goes BOOM, big thrills...GREAT Suspense!!
and yep..not much plot.
I thought the acting was pretty good, not going to get an Oscar but not that bad.
I really liked the "Friar" character...it added humor in the right places...not like Jar Jar Binks/C3PO in Lucas' movies:sowrong:
Oh and I REALLY liked the what they did with the "Monster" Dracula...
and actually the Werewolf too...

Anyway, just my two cents to stem the tide of negativitiy...
I would probably also give it a 2.5-3 stars.
And yeah, great for the big screen!


*****SPOILER*****


Oh for those that are confused...the idea behind the Werewolfe is that IF you WANT to become one then you will NOT have the GREAT Pains of becoming a Werewolfe...if you fight it, it only makes it worse!
The idea is that Van Helsing WANTS to become the Werewolfe to Kill Dracula...wereas other humans didn't WANT to become werewolfs but were forced too
*****SPoiler over***
 
Stephen Sommers has always been one of my favorite directors for one main reason.....he makes brainless popcorn movies and doesn't aspire for anything better. Deep Rising, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, and now Van Helsing...all goofy fun. If I want something more complex, there are plenty of other movies out now to fill that need. Besides, like anyone could take House of Dracula or House of Frankenstein seriously either.

The Sean Man
 
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