Where do yo draw the line?

[OnnaOtaku]

Where do you draw the line?

We know a lot of people here have met members for casual tickling and such. Some people have met others elsewhere and so on. We hear about murders, rapists and just all around psychos luring children from the internet, but does it really stop there? Are adults even safe? What I am trying to get at is when you "meet" someone online and eventually intend to meet them, whether it be for tickling, dating, friends, etc. how can you know that you're safe? Where do you cross the line? What does the other person have to do to raise a red flag in your mind to realize that this might not be a good idea? Are they simply just playing "nice guy/gal" long enough for you to meet in person? I've heard stories of all types about guys going as far as to contact their relatives, sending strange packages, showing up at places of business, etc. and these things, to me, are reason to maybe reconsider.

Are people just a little too open and nice and much more careless these days? No offense to those who have met others and to the ones that are a little more open than others, I am sure it's not guaranteed that everytime you meet someone from the internet or elsewhere you're going to get hacked up into little pieces. Again, I reiterate, what type of phrases and/or behavior raises your red flag?

 

[isabeau]

sighs i don't know..i only know that i am far too open and trusting for my own good..and have gotten burnt..several several times..i'm not sure i belong on the internet...thank goodness those members i did meet with were all perfect gentlemen...

 

[Myriads]

What chriteria would you use if you met the person in a bar? Or were set up on a blind date?

The web is simply another means to meet people. By it's nature it allows a person to be more deceptive in the opening stages of interaction.

I'd say that the same rules would apply with giving a person on the web my home number, as a person I met in a bar.

Would I go be alone with that person I met at the supermarket with no real info? No more then I would that person who I'd been PMing for only a bit.

One needs to build trust over time. And even then sometimes people will toss you a surprise and turn out to be unstable in some way you never saw coming.

Myriads

 

[OnnaOtaku]

What chriteria would you use if you met the person in a bar? Or were set up on a blind date?

The web is simply another means to meet people. By it's nature it allows a person to be more deceptive in the opening stages of interaction.

I'd say that the same rules would apply with giving a person on the web my home number, as a person I met in a bar.

Would I go be alone with that person I met at the supermarket with no real info? No more then I would that person who I'd been PMing for only a bit.

One needs to build trust over time. And even then sometimes people will toss you a surprise and turn out to be unstable in some way you never saw coming.

Myriads

That's a good point, but however, if I am at a bar, I am with my friends in a large group of people, I would NEVER go home with a random person or have them go home with me no matter how much we talked in the bar or how drunk I am. When people meet online, they are more likely to meet as just the two of them. But my real question in this thread was what does one have to do to raise a red flag to you? Do they have to convey murderous tendencies or merely just give you a bad vibe? What type of behavior does it take?

 

[NavelTickler75]

All valid points. If I were to meet someone from the net, it would probably by accident, such as bumping past them in a store or whatnot. I dont have very good street smarts, and tend to be trusting. Hence I'd met on the computer but more than likely not in the real world.

 

[Mitchell]

Myriads makes an excellent point, about trust needing to be built over time. For myself, I guess it would depend on how often or how long I was talking to someone online, before giving them my number, or agreeing to meet with them. If it was every night, or several times a week, it would seem to me that after maybe, say, 3 months, a call would be in order. Then, perhaps chat on the phone some for a couple to a few weeks, before maybe meeting a month after the phone number is given and the call is made.
While we all know there are many online creeps, I also know people who have made life connections online. A man I know in town who is a respected teacher and football coach, met his current wife online. I dont know exactly how long it took between the time they first connected, and then spoke, and met, but, it apparently worked out fine, because, they are married, and happy, to my knowledge.
I guess instinct can play into it as well. One talks to the person, and gets a sense. Sometimes, a person's instinct can be a great barometer with which to judge such a situation.

Mitch

 

[OnnaOtaku]

Myriads makes an excellent point, about trust needing to be built over time. For myself, I guess it would depend on how often or how long I was talking to someone online, before giving them my number, or agreeing to meet with them. If it was every night, or several times a week, it would seem to me that after maybe, say, 3 months, a call would be in order. Then, perhaps chat on the phone some for a couple to a few weeks, before maybe meeting a month after the phone number is given and the call is made.
While we all know there are many online creeps, I also know people who have made life connections online. A man I know in town who is a respected teacher and football coach, met his current wife online. I dont know exactly how long it took between the time they first connected, and then spoke, and met, but, it apparently worked out fine, because, they are married, and happy, to my knowledge.
I guess instinct can play into it as well. One talks to the person, and gets a sense. Sometimes, a person's instinct can be a great barometer with which to judge such a situation.

Mitch

Makes total sense. But with moving from one step to another, like from emails to the phone, it's all about how it's approached with me. If someone asks for my number and I say no because I am not comfortable and they continue to ask and beg, that is a sign right there that maybe I shouldn't. People who pressure me to do things I am not comfortable with really won't get anywhere with me. Occasionally, I get messages on MySpace of people just saying Hi, I want to meet and include their phone number. These are people I've also never communicated with before and I just sit there baffled and wonder how someone can just divulge that type of information to a complete, total stranger.

 

[maniactickler]

I just use gut instinct and common sense. unfortunately, alot of people dont have either.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

I just use gut instinct and common sense. unfortunately, alot of people dont have either.

LOL. Same here, along with that benefit of the doubt thing, although I never intend on meeting anyone offline, I can atleast conclude who is a little mentally unstable or not. Some people just wreak of that crazy gene.

 

[lespieds]

The ones to watch out for in life or web -

The biggest thing - if they seem to have more problems than you do, it is best to not meet or date. But assuming you are normal...avoid if

They are a little too open about what they would like to do with you. If they want to poke your rectum with their tongue but they have never even seen you, time to move on...

They have these huge stories about everything. If they have fought in every war, have a black belt in wang chang chicken maranade kung fu, and was a secret serviceman for the president, he is probably driving on only 3 wheels.

If she has only dated rich men and some men have killed themselves because she dumped them, she is probably some nasty **********.

If they spend a lot of time complaining about their problems and how the world is fucking them over....

If they make ANY mention of "being time to take my meds" 😕

If they are over 25 and are living at home... not good. Over 30 - RED FLAG!

They never seem to have a job and of course got fired thru no fault of their own...

If she likes to post her naked photos and videos on the web. Can you say... sex worker?

If he is totally discusted with his ex and loves to bitch about her. He never hit her.... really... OK once but...

If she had to leave town, was disowned by her family, and is having problems getting legal paperwork [DL, diplomas, birth certificate] changed, she might have been some guy before.

what else?

 

[OnnaOtaku]

The ones to watch out for in life or web -

The biggest thing - if they seem to have more problems than you do, it is best to not meet or date. But assuming you are normal...avoid if

They are a little too open about what they would like to do with you. If they want to poke your rectum with their tongue but they have never even seen you, time to move on...

They have these huge stories about everything. If they have fought in every war, have a black belt in wang chang chicken maranade kung fu, and was a secret serviceman for the president, he is probably driving on only 3 wheels.

If she has only dated rich men and some men have killed themselves because she dumped them, she is probably some nasty **********.

If they spend a lot of time complaining about their problems and how the world is fucking them over....

If they make ANY mention of "being time to take my meds" 😕

If they are over 25 and are living at home... not good. Over 30 - RED FLAG!

They never seem to have a job and of course got fired thru no fault of their own...

If she likes to post her naked photos and videos on the web. Can you say... sex worker?

If he is totally discusted with his ex and loves to bitch about her. He never hit her.... really... OK once but...

If she had to leave town, was disowned by her family, and is having problems getting legal paperwork [DL, diplomas, birth certificate] changed, she might have been some guy before.

what else?

LMAO! These are some great examples and I agree with all of them. Thanks for your input!

 

[NavelTickler75]

The ones to watch out for in life or web -

The biggest thing - if they seem to have more problems than you do, it is best to not meet or date. But assuming you are normal...avoid if

They are a little too open about what they would like to do with you. If they want to poke your rectum with their tongue but they have never even seen you, time to move on...

They have these huge stories about everything. If they have fought in every war, have a black belt in wang chang chicken maranade kung fu, and was a secret serviceman for the president, he is probably driving on only 3 wheels.

If she has only dated rich men and some men have killed themselves because she dumped them, she is probably some nasty **********.

If they spend a lot of time complaining about their problems and how the world is fucking them over....

If they make ANY mention of "being time to take my meds" 😕

If they are over 25 and are living at home... not good. Over 30 - RED FLAG!

They never seem to have a job and of course got fired thru no fault of their own...

If she likes to post her naked photos and videos on the web. Can you say... sex worker?

If he is totally discusted with his ex and loves to bitch about her. He never hit her.... really... OK once but...

If she had to leave town, was disowned by her family, and is having problems getting legal paperwork [DL, diplomas, birth certificate] changed, she might have been some guy before.

what else?

LOL all good points. I also agree with Girls, I dont think I'd met anyone off line from the net world.

 

[isabeau]

a word about trust...you can know someone for a long long time, and think you know them well..only to find out that you never knew them at all..when does trust become abused? when the person in question is too gullible? what was it about Ted Bundy that those women or girls trusted him enough to get in the car or whathaveyou with him? we call them stupid now...silly...gullible, yet his very presence denied that he was a serial killer..the way he was put together...the way he acted..you had to look really deeply into his eyes to see the crazy person hidden behind his charming smile...i will admit i am myself a trusting individual...however i have learned not to give out vital information over a pm...finally..and i never ever give out my address, until i know the person very well...pm'ing does not do that..one must talk on the phone...and even then, it's hard to tell..you have to actually see a person face to face to be able to judge..yet as i just brought up with Ted Bundy..appearances can be deceiving...

i admit i was silly in the past...everyone makes mistakes and learns from those mistakes..i did..and no real harm was done, thank goodness..

trust is hard..it's hard to judge when, who, how much at least for me it's hard..i'm a trusting person as i said..i believe, and wrongly i know, but i believed that everyone was like i was..trusting..honest...open...i can't change who i am...i can only learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them again..

 

[OnnaOtaku]

a word about trust...you can know someone for a long long time, and think you know them well..only to find out that you never knew them at all..when does trust become abused? when the person in question is too gullible? what was it about Ted Bundy that those women or girls trusted him enough to get in the car or whathaveyou with him? we call them stupid now...silly...gullible, yet his very presence denied that he was a serial killer..the way he was put together...the way he acted..you had to look really deeply into his eyes to see the crazy person hidden behind his charming smile...i will admit i am myself a trusting individual...however i have learned not to give out vital information over a pm...finally..and i never ever give out my address, until i know the person very well...pm'ing does not do that..one must talk on the phone...and even then, it's hard to tell..you have to actually see a person face to face to be able to judge..yet as i just brought up with Ted Bundy..appearances can be deceiving...

i admit i was silly in the past...everyone makes mistakes and learns from those mistakes..i did..and no real harm was done, thank goodness..

trust is hard..it's hard to judge when, who, how much at least for me it's hard..i'm a trusting person as i said..i believe, and wrongly i know, but i believed that everyone was like i was..trusting..honest...open...i can't change who i am...i can only learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them again..

This thread isn't in regards to you and any of your situations in the past, but it kind of did inspire it for me. I was just curious as to what it takes for someone to question someones motives and what not. Although we've all made bad judgments in the past about people, I think that we can learn from our experiences and perhaps share insight between all of us to better determine who might be looking for a legit friendship and who is just trying to prey on innocent people.

 

[isabeau]

This thread isn't in regards to you and any of your situations in the past, but it kind of did inspire it for me. I was just curious as to what it takes for someone to question someones motives and what not. Although we've all made bad judgments in the past about people, I think that we can learn from our experiences and perhaps share insight between all of us to better determine who might be looking for a legit friendship and who is just trying to prey on innocent people.

o i know it wasn't aimed at me..but if people can learn from my mistakes, then at least i've done something right...and so glad i could inspire you...

 

[NavelTickler75]

a word about trust...you can know someone for a long long time, and think you know them well..only to find out that you never knew them at all..when does trust become abused? when the person in question is too gullible? what was it about Ted Bundy that those women or girls trusted him enough to get in the car or whathaveyou with him? we call them stupid now...silly...gullible, yet his very presence denied that he was a serial killer..the way he was put together...the way he acted..you had to look really deeply into his eyes to see the crazy person hidden behind his charming smile...i will admit i am myself a trusting individual...however i have learned not to give out vital information over a pm...finally..and i never ever give out my address, until i know the person very well...pm'ing does not do that..one must talk on the phone...and even then, it's hard to tell..you have to actually see a person face to face to be able to judge..yet as i just brought up with Ted Bundy..appearances can be deceiving...

i admit i was silly in the past...everyone makes mistakes and learns from those mistakes..i did..and no real harm was done, thank goodness..

trust is hard..it's hard to judge when, who, how much at least for me it's hard..i'm a trusting person as i said..i believe, and wrongly i know, but i believed that everyone was like i was..trusting..honest...open...i can't change who i am...i can only learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them again..

Wasn't Ted Bundy the dude who dressed up and killed boys as a clown? Opps sorry that was John Wayne Gacy. My bad.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

Wasn't Ted Bundy the dude who dressed up and killed boys as a clown?

That was John Wayne Gacey. Ted Bundy was the guy I was trying to think of lastnight for a different thread. Thanks for getting that off my mind for me Isabeau. It was driving me nuts.

 

[NavelTickler75]

That was John Wayne Gacey. Ted Bundy was the guy I was trying to think of lastnight for a different thread. Thanks for getting that off my mind for me Isabeau. It was driving me nuts.

Hehe yeah I just figured that out. Actually I typed in Killer clown in wiki and it brought up Koko the clown lol

 

[isabeau]

That was John Wayne Gacey. Ted Bundy was the guy I was trying to think of lastnight for a different thread. Thanks for getting that off my mind for me Isabeau. It was driving me nuts.

always glad to be of assistance...i'm a font of useless info..especially regarding serial killers and the like..which reminds me, while walking home from college, i was a freshman at the time..a nice looking and well-dressed man pulled up along side of me in his car...wanted to give me a ride..i just veered as far away from him as possible, and didn't even look in his direction after that first initial response of his...that was during the time that there were college girls missing in my state, and later turned up dead with out their heads...i'm not as dumb as i seem...that could have been me..

 

[maniactickler]

LOL. Same here, along with that benefit of the doubt thing, although I never intend on meeting anyone offline, I can atleast conclude who is a little mentally unstable or not. Some people just wreak of that crazy gene.

Ive met a crap load of women from the internet with no problem, but i think women need to be far more cautious than men. now with that being said, im available for 24/7 tickling sessions with any willing ladies.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

always glad to be of assistance...i'm a font of useless info..especially regarding serial killers and the like..which reminds me, while walking home from college, i was a freshman at the time..a nice looking and well-dressed man pulled up along side of me in his car...wanted to give me a ride..i just veered as far away from him as possible, and didn't even look in his direction after that first initial response of his...that was during the time that there were college girls missing in my state, and later turned up dead with out their heads...i'm not as dumb as i seem...that could have been me..

LoL. Well I'm glad you're not as dumb as you look. I kid, I kid. I'm not even too fond of taking rides from a friend of a friend or anything. The fact that there were missing college girls in the state you were in would make me a little more paranoid too.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

Ive met a crap load of women from the internet with no problem, but i think women need to be far more cautious than men. now with that being said, im available for 24/7 tickling sessions with any willing ladies.

LMAO! I agree with everything except that last part! 😛

I mean, not much comes to mind if a girl wants to give a guy a ride or meet up with him or such, but if it's the other way around, oh man, you better watch it. This is funny to me, because really, there are some women who can be more vicious than any male and you just can't pick them out as easily.

Recently, as I was leaving a pub I had been at with some friends, some guys who were more drunk than they probably should have been asked me for a ride to base, I said no mainly because I had been drinking myself, still sober but you could smell the beer on my breath and didn't want to get in trouble by any MP's, but I also had that idea in the back of my mind that maybe these three guys might have something else up their sleeve. I told them my reason for not wanting to get in trouble with the MP's and said sorry and offered to call them a cab and left it at that. Who knows who can do what and when, especially while intoxicated.

 

[isabeau]

LoL. Well I'm glad you're not as dumb as you look. I kid, I kid. I'm not even too fond of taking rides from a friend of a friend or anything. The fact that there were missing college girls in the state you were in would make me a little more paranoid too.

hey i resent that remark...i only look dumb when sleeping...so there...lol and show some respect for your elders..gesh....o and about those missing girls, i didn't even know about it until later when i mentioned what happened to my dad...then i was like woooooooooooooooooooooooooo that could have been me...orrrrrrrrrrrrrr it could have been old Teddy himself... and no cracks about my age...however i believe Ted well hmm this incident occurred in the fall of 74 or spring of 75....sighs...i don't know where he was, but my hair wasn't long and brown..which is what he targeted.. my hair was blonde..still is..

 

[OnnaOtaku]

hey i resent that remark...i only look dumb when sleeping...so there...lol and show some respect for your elders..gesh....o and about those missing girls, i didn't even know about it until later when i mentioned what happened to my dad...then i was like woooooooooooooooooooooooooo that could have been me...orrrrrrrrrrrrrr it could have been old Teddy himself... and no cracks about my age...however i believe Ted well hmm this incident occurred in the fall of 74 or spring of 75....sighs...i don't know where he was, but my hair wasn't long and brown..which is what he targeted.. my hair was blonde..still is..

That's even more creepy and yet very well done since you hadn't even heard of the murders yet and still did what should have been done. Just ignore people. I do it all the time.

 

[Illtcklu]

You gals are getting worked up. Serial killers are the exception and not the rule. However, you should always be careful!

You never know who is out there on the net. But, most serial killers look for a particular type, and unless they've seen a pic, or know what you look like, I'd say it's a safe bet serial killers don't shop for victims on the net. However other predators do. Identiy theft, sex offenders things like that.