why do most girls hate being tickled

[mgctouch]

I just wanted to add one other little tidbit to this discussion... For all the same reasons we have listed why women hate to be tickled, this also applies to some men as well.

When I ask the bigger question : Why are ther more men openly into tickling than there are women?, I believe it comes to this:

I believe that most children love to be tickled when they are very young. When someone tickles a baby, it is a form of affection and the baby feeds off of not only their own short laughter, but also seeing mom (dad, sister, brother, uncle...) laughing and smiling at them, praising them and loving them.

As the baby grows into younger child, the tickling takes on a new form. For some kids, boys and girls alike, it becomes tickle torture and they either love it or hate it. For other kids, the tickling simply stops.

I believe that the boys tend to become "tickle-deprived" much sooner that the girls and the boys remember it as affectionate fun in their subconscious. This is something that the continue to seek as they grow older (and older, and older, and older...)

For the girls, the tickling goes on from infancy all the way through high school, college and beyond. For many ladies, it has been a life of "tickle overload" as every single tickler had one intention - enjoy themself at the expense of the ticklish lady.

Obviously this does not hold true 100% of the time. There are many boys who HATE to be tickled for the exact same reason that so many ladies hate to be tickled. There are a lot of people (men and ladies) who have never been tickled in their life and they don't understand the fascination in it or they think of it as taboo.

I just believe that many of the incredibly wonderful female homo-sapiens frequently tend to endure more than their fair share of non-consentual tickling in the early stages of their life which makes it difficult form them to believe that thay can enjoy it in the early-mid to later stages of their lives.

Just my 2 cents worth.

PS. MESSAGE TO KIS: I believe that there are a lot of good men here in TMF, myself included, who would love to tickle you playfully (and perhaps erotically) while making sure that you are always comfortable, happy and pain-free.

 

[BigJim]

(Fed Exes an airline ticket to Cali for Big Jim...)
"Honey, you look a litle tired--you must need a VACATION..."😀 😀 😀

XOXO

If it actually arrived, I'd bloody take it! lol

Life can be tiresome sometimes.

 

[TicklingIsLife]

Re: Well...

I would assume a main reason would be simply that most females don't care much for being put involuntarily in a position where they feel helpless.

Darn! 🙁

 

[shylittleme]

great post mgctouch well done.

But please i would love for some people to answer my questions or try to the best they can that is.




my two Questions which were:

why do we as people even tickle each other then(even though most people hate it or dislike it)?

and


How do you fully know if a girl that your talking to and getting to know or wanting to get to know as well likes being tickled and simply just doesn't tolerate it because she has to?

 

[Tomato_Dragon]

Well, I'm just going by what past girlfriends have said, that they hate being "out of control." Guess it makes sense.

 

[mgctouch]

But please i would love for some people to answer my questions or try to the best they can that is.

my two Questions which were:

why do we as people even tickle each other then(even though most people hate it or dislike it)?

and

How do you fully know if a girl that your talking to and getting to know or wanting to get to know as well likes being tickled and simply just doesn't tolerate it because she has to?

In answer to your first question... There are several reasons to consider. For me, tickling is a form of affection. When I tickle a woman, I want her to enjoy it fully. This means that I am always attuned to her and I am always careful not to go past her comfort levels. I have learned that the more trust and comfort in the relationship, the more the tickling evolves.

For some people, tickling is a form of control. Some ticklers enjoy the "power" they hold over a ticklish person regardless of how much the ticklee enjoys or dislikes being tickled.

For some people, they tickle a person in hopes of being tickled back.

There are several more reasons which, I am sure, will be supplied by others in this forum.

As for your second question, you don't always know. That depends on the level of communication between the two of you. If, however, she is tolerating your tickling but you always strive to keep the tickling fun for BOTH of you and not just yourself, there is a good chance that she will come to love your playful, affectionate tickles and possibly find it erotic as well.

 

[Grolsch]

I think this is a great thread. Here's my 0.02.

Certainly, the loss of control or the potential for abusive tickling is very important. I think there can be a very close link between sexual behavior and tickling, and it's probably a lot worse for some women. Say one happens to be both very ticklish and very attractive. When people are young, and don't necessarily have the social skills to handle attraction, they might turn to tickling. So, for those individuals who happen to be attractive (however that may be defined) and very ticklish, they probably get tickled so often that they get sick of it very early in life.

And, if one learns that they can be tickle-tortured, or witness somebody else getting the same treatment, perhaps it creates more fearful emotions associated with being tickled.

A good question related to this might be why some people lose tickle sensitivity and others don't. My sister was very ticklish as a kid, but now really isn't. I'd say between the siblings she got a pretty good dose of tickling as a kid. My wife, on the other hand, is unbearably ticklish on her feet and had similarly tough tickling experiences while young, including seeing her mom getting tickled a lot. Why does one person stop being ticklish and another develops a phobia about it?

 

[TicklingIsLife]

Why does one person stop being ticklish and another develops a phobia about it?

Its a question that has plagued mankind forever 🙄

 

[Mitchell]

This is my take on the situation. I think that the tickling issue varies for some women. When I used to ask female letter pen pals if they were ticklish, I got one response from a close pen pal of mine named Steph who is married, and she said that she hates being tickled so much, that she even hates when her husband does it. She knows I have a tickle fetish, because we are open and I told her, and she said that for her, the idea of the hysterical laughing and maddening tickling sensation drives her beserk. It's not even a matter of trust, because she said that things are good between her hubby and her in other ways, she just hates to be tickled, no matter who does the tickling.
For other women, it can be a matter of trust or not wanting to be dominated. Many of them were forcibly held down by someone at some point in their lives, be it an older brother, friend, or such, and tickled against their will. That can turn a person into hating tickling. Sometimes it can be how the tickling is presented. I've heard of some girls who supposedly hated to be tickled at some point, but who when introduced to it and eased into it by a partner who they trust, came to accept and even enjoy it. Of course, in the non tickling world, some women who are even just playfully tickled by husbands without a tickle fetish can still even hate it, because again they are being dominated, even by someone they love, with a maddening sensation. I dont think there is any one reason that many women hate to be tickled, I think it is a combination of reasons, from past tickling experiences to trust and other issues.

Mitch

 

[shylittleme]

very well Done nice post Mitch.

well i've been sitting here reading most of your members replys and there quit good i must say. To be quit honest with you all really i know thier is more to life then just tickling girls and watch them sqirm and giggle with mercy. But i just really want a sweet girl to become friends with or be more then friends with later on down the road lord willing and have a girl that will like me for who i am really am and that will also like and find my tickling fetish as Cute and not get all close minded and worked up about it. I've never tickled many girls at all i've only tickled at least 1 or 2 girls in my life and thats been all. so with all honest i can't even say that i'm a good tickler or that i even know how to tickle that good. But still even though i haven't had pretty much any experiances in the tickling department or in love for that matter to. i still do really want to meet a decent girl that i can just relate to and have fun with and most in important a girl that i can feel comfortable around.

Do you guys know what i mean or where i'm coming from? becasue i've meet and talked with alot of sweet and nice girls online about Tickling. Most of them were very open about it and would and still will let me ask them tickling Questions till i'm blue in the face. so personally i would find it much easyer to find a girl that shared my same fetish or find a girl that just loved it ingeneral with out it being seen as a fetish. so i was just kinda wanted to get some in sight about girls and why they hated to be Tickled and just to get some in sight on girls period. and some of you guys did in lighten me on the Topic very much so.



sorry for taking up your guys time and making you read all my boring chatter

 

[leafstk]

You may be quirky, but that's what makes you so wuvable! 😀 Good to see you back, Clair!

i don't know about that...

im weird- im a tickle fetist (did i spell that right?) who personally doesn't like to be tickled in everyday situations, no matter who by. My boyfriend does it ALL the time, and he has more scratch and bite marks from it, and im not usually playing around. when he 'traps' me, my first thought is escape, and i'll do anything to get away from him- the whole thing almost seems seperate from what i enjoy here at the forum. for me, i think it's more of a loss of control. i like to be in control of a situation, and i feel....i dunno, vaunerable, maybe? but that's just me, im not saying it's that way for all women, im just a little quirky 😉

~clair 😀

 

[TicklingIsLife]

the idea of the hysterical laughing and maddening tickling sensation drives her beserk. It's not even a matter of trust, because she said that things are good between her hubby and her in other ways, she just hates to be tickled, no matter who does the tickling.
For other women, it can be a matter of trust or not wanting to be dominated. Many of them were forcibly held down by someone at some point in their lives, be it an older brother, friend, or such, and tickled against their will. That can turn a person into hating tickling. Sometimes it can be how the tickling is presented. I've heard of some girls who supposedly hated to be tickled at some point, but who when introduced to it and eased into it by a partner who they trust, came to accept and even enjoy it. Of course, in the non tickling world, some women who are even just playfully tickled by husbands without a tickle fetish can still even hate it, because again they are being dominated, even by someone they love, with a maddening sensation. I dont think there is any one reason that many women hate to be tickled, I think it is a combination of reasons, from past tickling experiences to trust and other issues.

Mitch

Well said Mitch 🙂

 

[natural tickler]

While all the posts here are eloquent and very good, the answer is simple. Out of all the weaknesses for a woman to ever possess, being ticklish is #1, or 2. Period. They hate it because it makes them weak, and have no power. A woman hates to be powerless. She would rather get smacked in the head than tickled. It is plain torture for them. The ones that like it, then its pleasure. But 80% (and I'm being generous with that estimate) purely hate it😀

 

[kis123]

I get my enjoyment in tickling others that like the experience. I may take occasional pokes in fun, but unless someone says they want a full tickle experience, I don't mess with them. I want tickling to be fun, not frightening or exasperating.

I've tickled men and women, but I've never taken a woman to the point where she is afraid. I stop when I am told to, and if I'm told to continue, I happily oblige.

As for myself, I've had situations when tickling hurt because people dig in too hard. They did not stop when asked and that's really offensive. If they continue, I consider that abusive. I like the "ler" position personally because I'm a control freak. Let's face it, lees have very little control in the matter.

Women hate being tickled because the tickler tends to push the envelope too far off the table. Also, tickling is used as a control and domination tool, and no one wants to be victimized.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

gotta chime in here

i've held my piece for a while, but i'm finally going to say it.
it has been my experience in life that most women don't mind being tickled. i've only met 3 women that REALLY didn't like it.

oh many women will say they hate it, but that's just talk. they can't just give in, they feel they have to make you work for it.

see, i've tickled many women who've said they hated it, before i tickled them, and after they said it was great.

one area i think many guys an error in, is demanding that bondage be included. i think that is what is freaking the ladies out ,not the tickling. also most guys are too damn rough, and don't stop when told to. women then think all other guys will be the same.

so in general, be soft, and gentle. don't tie them up. make sure they enjoy it.

steve

 

[TicklingIsLife]

While all the posts here are eloquent and very good, the answer is simple. Out of all the weaknesses for a woman to ever possess, being ticklish is #1, or 2. Period. They hate it because it makes them weak, and have no power. A woman hates to be powerless. She would rather get smacked in the head than tickled. It is plain torture for them. The ones that like it, then its pleasure. But 80% (and I'm being generous with that estimate) purely hate it😀

That actually sounds really good...

 

[shylittleme]

Re: gotta chime in here

i've held my piece for a while, but i'm finally going to say it.
it has been my experience in life that most women don't mind being tickled. i've only met 3 women that REALLY didn't like it.

oh many women will say they hate it, but that's just talk. they can't just give in, they feel they have to make you work for it.

see, i've tickled many women who've said they hated it, before i tickled them, and after they said it was great.

one area i think many guys an error in, is demanding that bondage be included. i think that is what is freaking the ladies out ,not the tickling. also most guys are too damn rough, and don't stop when told to. women then think all other guys will be the same.

so in general, be soft, and gentle. don't tie them up. make sure they enjoy it.

steve

Ha so they Lie when women say that they hate being tickled? which really means in women terms that they ''like being tickled''?

 

[sugarmouse]

Re: Re: Well...

its so fun and actually healthy for you alot of proven studies have shown that.


is that true i alwis tort it?😕

i dnt get pplwho dntliekbeen tickled but then , gettintickled badly is worsethat not at all! bit like bad sex😛 i haev had the bruises thing aswel ..somepeople r cluelesslol

 

[sugarmouse]

While all the posts here are eloquent and very good, the answer is simple. Out of all the weaknesses for a woman to ever possess, being ticklish is #1, or 2. Period. They hate it because it makes them weak, and have no power. A woman hates to be powerless. She would rather get smacked in the head than tickled. It is plain torture for them. The ones that like it, then its pleasure. But 80% (and I'm being generous with that estimate) purely hate it😀

i must be weird then cos i love that feeling ofpowerless

 

[steph]

Me too Sugar.

XOXO

 

[shylittleme]

Re: Re: Re: Well...

its so fun and actually healthy for you alot of proven studies have shown that.


is that true i alwis tort it?😕

i dnt get pplwho dntliekbeen tickled but then , gettintickled badly is worsethat not at all! bit like bad sex😛 i haev had the bruises thing aswel ..somepeople r cluelesslol

yeah here are some Proven studies on Laughter that i found from some websites online.

http://www.harpercollins.com.au/drstephenjuan/news_laughing.htm

http://www.newscientist.com/opinion/opinterview.jsp?id=ns23436

enjoy 😀

 

[EvlJester]

as far as what Sinner said the only reason i know what i am doing is cause i listen to what she wants!!!!!!!

 

[AquaFeline]

My personal thoughts...

I like the helplessness, and I like the sensation, but some(most?) guys don't really know how to do it to me because I'm not as ticklish as I once was. Sometimes it's downright painful because they dig in to my ribs so hard or press down on the floating ribs. Sometimes fingernails are much too long as well.

 

[steph]

This is SO the key here guys!!! (Jenn's a lucky girl Jester)
XOXO

as far as what Sinner said the only reason i know what i am doing is cause i listen to what she wants!!!!!!!

 

[BigJim]

i must be weird then cos i love that feeling ofpowerless

And there are some who love inducing it.