Introduction
I started out in the online tickling community much younger than I should have. There were less controls at that time and people just didn’t know what they didn’t know about the internet until it was too late. That’s just how things were. So, from the earliest years of the North East Society of Ticklephiles (NEST) being discussed in the online tickling community, I had it in my mind that I’d love to attend. It wasn’t too far back from then that I had learned that there was a tickling community at all. Up until that point, I was a single tickling freak in the world and something was wrong with me. Learning that there was an online community put a crack in my whole perspective up to that point, and subsequently learning that there was a place where many of these people were meeting in person shattered my previous perspective entirely.
Over the years that followed, I kept my eye on NEST with the intention of making my pilgrimage after becoming of age. However, when that time came, I didn’t go. Life sped up quickly and I had a lot going on that demanded my full attention. I eventually found myself in a long-term relationship that did not really include tickling. My dreams about NEST and my desires for tickling were buried as deeply as I could bury them. I was an adult now and it was time to focus on my responsibilities.
Years passed, and my desire for tickling, though buried beneath the surface, was burning hotter than ever within me. My relationship fell apart due to many factors, not just the vanilla-ness of it. I was heartbroken and lost for a while, but it was a good period where I found myself and the things that were important to me: the things that defined me. Tickling was among those things. I committed to changing my perspective about tickling and learning to accept it as part of who I am. That took a lot of work, but it gave me the courage, confidence, and fortitude to find ticklemepurplee, the perfect girl in the online tickling community. We both were looking for play partners and hit it off very well. So well, in fact, that we’ve been married for several years now.
A few years into our marriage, we decided to start exploring playing with others as a couple. We started slowly and carefully, and I am still thankful for our foresight into taking that approach. Our first session was with the fantastic Texas couple, TT and WT, who have become lifelong friends to us. They set the bar for all of our future play arrangements and we can only aspire to reach their level of kindness, respect, and communication. With the experience they afforded us, we added more play partners over time and gradually built our confidence and experience, but NEST was still a mystery to us and we never really stopped thinking about it.
We put off attending for a few years, in part due to moving to a different state, getting integrated into our new city, and normal life stuff, but also in part due to anxieties and uncertainties about the idea of attending a large event. We had met with and played with several people in the community by that point, but had no real event experience. We had come across rumors of bad experiences at NEST and were cautious. But we also had friends that had attended before and they had overall positive experiences with it and encouraged us to go. In 2025, we connected with several NEST veterans who were very reassuring and we eventually committed to going to NEST in 2026.
What It Was Like
Thursday
When doing anything new, I find it important to first set reasonable expectations. As I alluded to earlier, we had heard some negative comments about NEST, and while we decided to go, we wanted our expectations to be calibrated. We had heard some people had reservations about some of the organizers of NEST, but we also knew that there had been turnover in staff and that there was a clear and intentional effort to make NEST feel even more inclusive, safe, and welcoming. We had also heard that NEST is very cliquey and it can be difficult to integrate into their community, but we were open minded about this because cliquy can also just mean that it is a community that takes more time to trust outsiders and that they will care for and protect you once you are accepted. Going in, we didn’t know exactly what to expect in regard to all the rumors that we had heard, but we decided to go in with one primary goal and a few secondary goals. Our primary goal was simply to demystify NEST. There was no sense in believing or dismissing the rumors until we experienced it for ourselves. We weren’t going to go the rest of our lives not knowing what it was really all about. We would never know how we personally felt about it until we jumped in head first. If we did nothing else over the weekend, we thought, demystifying everything would make the trip worth it. We didn’t ever have to go back if we didn’t enjoy ourselves. Our secondary goals were to meet up with old friends, to make new friends, and to get a little play in.
I could tell I was a little nervous, as just the thought of going through airport security had me anxious. Maybe that was all the bondage and play equipment I crammed into our carry-on luggage or just the fact that I hate travel, but it was honestly the smoothest TSA experience I’ve had to date. In the past we’ve had to take off our shoes, unpack certain items and put them into the bins, then repack everything on the other side. This time, they didn’t have us remove our shoes, they didn’t have us remove anything from our bags, and our bags full of all kinds of metal-laden bondage gear and tickling devices passed right through. There wasn’t even a line to wait in! The only 30-second delay was because for no known reason, the scanner prompted the TSA agent to pat down the lower half of my left leg. I wondered if I had shrapnel that I was unaware of. Hilariously, the bag of the next person to come in behind us set off the scanner right away. What on earth must they have been packing? I thought. The flight went smooth and before we knew it, we were at the destination airport. We connected with some others looking for a shared transport to the hotel.
We arrived on Thursday, but NEST didn’t officially start until Friday. Still, there were so many people coming in when we arrived. I had the lingering feeling that my vulnerability was on display. Everyone knew why I was there. We quickly checked into our room, ordered some dinner, and immediately got a text message from one of our friends from Texas, “When are you arriving?” We replied, “We just got into our room and are waiting for our Chinese food to be delivered.” She replied in what I imagined was her best mom voice, “We’re down here in the lobby! Get your butts down here!” My wife and I looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing. We didn’t realize how much tension we were holding onto until that moment. I thought to myself, I guess it really is that easy. We just go downstairs and get to know people. Of course, our more sociable friends accelerated that quite a bit by introducing us to anyone within proximity. Everyone was so nice and welcoming. If anything, I felt like the closed off untrusting one. I vowed to adjust the presentation of my attitude for the rest of our trip. If there were bad people at NEST, I hadn’t met any of them yet.
There was an orientation that night for those who arrived early. We decided to go to that and get it out of the way so we could focus on socializing and feeling things out. The orientation was so packed that we had to stand in the back of the presentation room, but we were with someone we had connected with online who made us feel welcome and we laughed through the presentation together. It was during the presentation that things started to feel very surreal. The word “tickle” was spoken aloud several times and the subject of tickling play was discussed. There were a lot of shy people, but there was also a lot of palpably mutual understanding and enthusiasm in the room. I realized I was right earlier—my vulnerability was on display, but so was everyone else’s.
For the rest of Thursday night we socialized and greeted new people that were still coming in. We got to spend a good while catching up with old friends and other people we had known only online up to that point. It was such a strange but fulfilling experience. Eventually we broke off from the group to better get to know a couple we met online. We talked for a while and reconciled the flesh and blood in front of us with the messages and calls we’d been having with them. A hug or two brought it all to life… And then a tickle! We decided to do some “sample tickles,” which were very fun. I got to do a little tickle fight with the woman, which was one of her requests. I’m not sure she knew how good I am at those, but she found out! We had some good fun and then eventually turned in for the night.
Friday
I did not sleep well at all. I normally have a pretty consistent sleep schedule, and when I travel, it always gets completely messed up. The biggest problem is that no matter when I go to sleep, my body still wants to wake up the same time every morning, and that’s exactly what it did. I knew all that going into this, but it still hit hard. However, I was in a hotel, and hotels have coffee. What is coffee, anyway, if not liquid sleep? So, a big thanks to coffee for saving my NEST! My wife and I had a loose plan for food going into this, but that plan fell apart like a house of cards the moment we had arrived the day before. We decided to have breakfast at the hotel with FS, who we have had interaction with online, but had never had the privilege to meet in person. It was nice to learn about each other and share some stories over an overpriced but tasty breakfast burrito. Eventually, the event organizer pulled up a chair and sat with us. He really made us feel welcome and had some interesting stories to share of his own. Sometimes you just get a feeling about someone upon first meeting them that really gives you an impression of what they’re about, and he was one of those people. He had a clear vision of community, safety, and privacy, and was an all around good person. Our already established friends made us feel confident enough to attend NEST, and the event organizer made us feel at home. Together, that laid the foundation for us to feel safe and to relax enough to really enjoy the event.
We attended the newbie mixer later that morning, which was a little get to know you for all the NEST newbies. I felt like a bit of a newbie imposter, as I knew several people in the community, even though I was still a newbie to NEST. There were people there who had never met with or played with anyone. I was so impressed with their courage to attend at that stage of their journey. My wife and I actually didn’t get paired up with anyone at the mixer, as there weren’t enough left over newbies to form another group, but we were fine with that since many of the newbies had met no one in the community at all. We still had a brief interaction with a newbie right before the mixer who we still regret not being able to connect with more over the weekend. She was so wholesome and sweet, but our interaction was interrupted by an announcement and we never got reconnected. Perhaps sometime in the future we’ll get the opportunity to properly meet her. The newbie coordinator also came to talk with us and she was very kind and fun to talk with. Everyone was just so nice and considerate. At this point, I don’t think I had a single bad experience, save for the sleep issues.
The rest of the day included a few planned play sessions and getting to know more people. We ate lunch in the lobby while sitting with one of the class presenters. We knew her from the online world, but never had met in person. She was still preparing her presentation, so we tried not to be too disruptive, but it was nice to finally meet her. I’m sure I gave a flawless first impression as I gobbled down the greasiest burger and fries I think I’ve ever had (I was starving), while trying to remember how words work on 2 hours of sleep. Eventually one of her friends came up to her and kept tickling her. At first I froze while thinking, oh my god, there’s tickling, but then I remembered that was what this was all about—these were my people!
There were so many people by Friday afternoon. At one point the crowd in the public areas became overwhelming and we escaped to our room for a bit to recover before doing a scheduled play session. Immediately following that was a pizza party in the lobby for all attendees where we got to hang out with our friends from Texas again and process our experiences up to that point. It was such a blessing having friends there with us. There was much to be grateful for.
Later Friday night after the pizza party, we went to see the raffle parade, a fun raffle event where people are introduced as “prizes” to win in a raffle drawing. Play is not guaranteed, but if you win, you get connected with them and if both parties are a good fit, they can play together. The real appeal of the parade, is that the announcer reads the submitted description of the people to be raffled, and they are almost all hilarious. I wish I could remember any of them to give an example, but the lack of sleep affected my memory. All I know is it made me laugh, and that’s good entertainment value in my world.
Saturday
Yep, you guessed it. I slept poorly again. I also noticed just how dry the air was in the hotel. I thought I was imagining it the whole time, but no, it was very real. I took a hot steamy shower and that helped revive me enough so that we could get downstairs and get breakfast and coffee. FS had now become our breakfast buddy. It was great to have a morning routine even being away from home. We talked for quite a bit and then had some time to explore the hotel more thoroughly. By now, more play sessions were going on throughout the hotel. Going up and down the halls, you could hear giggling, bursts of hard laughter, screaming, and begging coming from various rooms. The main public play area was set up with all kinds of bondage furniture and was really interesting, but we were too shy at the time to play in there. However, it was very fun to watch a few public play sessions from a respectful distance.
We had a play session scheduled for the afternoon, but it got canceled. We still don’t know exactly what happened, but we had connected with them leading up to NEST and put a lot of energy into it. They even spent some time with us the first few days and everything seemed okay, but after they canceled the session, they very deliberately ignored us for the rest of the event and unfriended us. We had considered them a real flesh and blood friend by this point and had a difficult time processing what happened, especially my wife, who was very hurt by it. I just hope it wasn’t someone starting a petty rumor about us out of jealousy or malice. We work very hard to make others comfortable in and out of play, so this was a very confusing and unexpected occurrence. It may have just been an anxiety thing or something similar that they were experiencing. I certainly hope that nothing bad had happened to them during the event and that they are okay. However, it was also a learning experience for us and we might need to work on a better vetting process in the future. These are emotional connections, and I need to put my wife’s feelings first.
Feeling confused and a little disappointed about what had happened, we decided to recoil back to our room and take a break. But once we got there, we got a message from someone my wife had connected with online some time ago and had briefly met at one point in the lobby. She was interested in talking with us if we were free. I gauged my wife’s reactions, not knowing if she’d feel up to it after what had just happened, but she seemed really excited, which made me excited too. We met her in a secluded section of the lobby and we talked for a bit before she just asked us outright if we’d like to play with her. It actually took me by surprise, as she seemed so soft spoken and shy. In fact, not only did she ask, but she produced a list of things like her boundaries, likes, dislikes, and all kinds of things related to how she prefers to play. It was very helpful and we really appreciated the thoughtfulness she put into it. It was clear she knew exactly what she did and did not want, so we were okay moving right into play with her. She was a 100% lee and we are switches, but we are often okay playing on just one side or the other, especially in the context of an event like NEST where there are likely to be many play partners with a variety of interests and alignments.
We went right to her room and covered a few safety things before securing her to the bed. We each took a few minutes to learn where she was most sensitive before we tickled her together. Let me just say, what an adorable and fun lee she is! Her sweet personality and kindness to us was very healing in that moment. We needed that. To our surprise, she gave us the nicest compliments and told us we worked very well as a team. That comment probably made me feel the best of anything I heard at NEST, as this is all first and foremost a shared experience for us that helps us grow together. For someone to recognize that and to appreciate it in the way she did, I don’t think we could have asked for a better gift. We are very grateful for her time and trust. She was also interested in a session the following day, which we scheduled for in the morning after breakfast.
After unpacking our session with her, we went to have a planned session with our friends from Texas. We had to break up the session into two parts, one for Saturday and one for Sunday since they had a window of time they had to work within on both days. My wife was the lee on the first day. It was fun to hear their joy as they began bringing out her familiar psychotic laughter. For those who don’t know, it can be a challenge to tickle my wife, not so much because of anything to do with her sensitivity level, but it is difficult to keep it up with how funny her reactions can be. Sometimes I feel like I’m laughing at her just as much as she’s laughing at the tickling. Don’t worry, though—there were three of us. We barbecued the poor girl with tickles! The hotel was surprisingly insulated, but if you were on that floor during our session, I know you heard her shrieks and pleas. You’re welcome.
Sunday
You’ll never believe this, but I got a full night of sleep! The awful part is that I was in such a deficit that it didn’t feel like it at all… Coffee time! The breakfast buddies were at it again. My wife swore the burritos got smaller, but I think she just needed more food from all the tickling exhaustion from the previous day. Some people are lightweights, you know? Anyway, that consistent routine for starting our day really did make the difference. Or was it the caffeine? Whatever, we had a great conversation again and eventually the lee from yesterday met us at our table. We talked for a bit and then had our second session with her, which went even better than the last. It was so rewarding to witness her get those warm and fuzzy feelings that only come after a lengthy tickle session. I gave her a makeshift shoulder massage to ease the tension she built up from me just not being able to stay off of her neck during the play. It was a treasure trove of tender nerve endings that made her squeal with every touch. She was so fun to tickle, but the best part about her is that she is so kind, patient, and understanding. It’s always magical to me, as long as the foundational chemistry is there, how easy it is for tickling to form bonds between people. I believe we made a new friend.
We planned on attending some of the scheduled activities on Sunday, but we needed some down time between play. In the afternoon we met again with the Texans to get more play in. It was fun to try out their new tickle toys. I have the mind of an engineer, so about a week or so before NEST, I had a plan to create a new tickle toy, but I didn’t have the time before NEST to work on it. I was so happy that I had the idea and couldn’t wait to share it with the Texas couple, but when they showed me their toys, he had manifested my idea without me ever having shared it with him! Not only did he make it, but he made it with multiple applicators. You think you know a guy. I thought this kind of stuff only happened in spy movies, but apparently this is tickle tool warfare! I’m now regularly watching out my window for spy drones trying to steal the designs for my tickle tool technology (TTT).
We took a shower and chilled out a bit after that. Being totally candid here, some of our unresolved feelings resurfaced and we were feeling a little down at that time. It was also nearing the end of NEST and you could just feel that shared knowing in the air. It was at that point that our hunger hit us like a ton of bricks; we hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and here it was evening! We sat in the lobby and I ate at least three-fourths of a large pizza, half of a giant greek salad, and half of a sizable garlic bread. No, I don’t have a binge eating problem—I was just that hungry! My tiny wife ate the rest, and while we were satisfied in terms of hunger, those feelings lingered as we sat there alone.
What happened next was maybe the most defining moment of my perspective on the NEST community. Our friends were elsewhere in the hotel and there were a few people in the lobby, but no one we knew well. Still, MT came up to us and sat down. We all got to know each other more and he started introducing us to others in the room. Before I knew it, we were feeling quite a bit better. He introduced us to VL, who seems very sweet and thoughtful. We didn’t get a lot of time with her because we were being introduced to multiple people, but I regret not making a point to reconnect with her before we left. In my defense, however, that girl is clearly a ninja as evidenced by her ability to vanish without a trace! We also were introduced to EI and his lovely partner BI, who were wonderful to talk with and get to know. The reason I say this was one of the most defining moments for our perspective of the community was simply that people were genuine, interested, and understanding. Several people came up to us with care and attention. I didn’t get the impression that they were looking for anything from us other than to offer us their company and kindness, and to receive the same in return. What is a great community if not that? We ended the night on a much higher note than expected.
Monday
NEST was over. No more breakfast buddies, no more feeling like everyone in the room gets you, and no more feeling sheltered and safe from the outside world. We had to leave early for the airport. We sent some goodbye messages and waited for our Uber. Even as we’re standing in the lobby waiting, the sense of community was palpable with everyone giving each other well-wishes and having all the feelings about having to depart soon. Even in the last five minutes of us standing outside the hotel, we got an offer from someone we hadn’t even met yet to share an Uber ride, and we would have had ours not already been on the way.
The ride to the airport and the flight back home were quiet and reflective. Going through airport security was about the same as before, but no lower leg pat down. I guess I don’t have shrapnel after all. We had a feeling of closing the circle as we saw one of the two people we originally shared a ride with to the hotel on Thursday. We didn’t say much to each other, not knowing how the other navigates these things outside of the event, but it was a nice reminder that just because we’re away from the hotel now, we still have connections. Touching back down into Nashville felt bitter sweet. We were glad to be back home, and yet we missed everyone we shared the weekend with. When I had first entered the hotel, I had felt like it was like entering the matrix. Some artificial construction that we were all engaging in to escape our everyday reality. But on the car ride home, I realized that, no, most of our interactions with the tickling community is online. That is the matrix. What we did this past weekend was an escape from it, if only for a few days.
What I Learned
After a new experience or a play session I always like to spend time with my wife processing everything and reflecting on what, if anything, we learned or took away from it. First and foremost, as I mentioned earlier in this writing, we had one primary goal, to demystify NEST, and a few secondary goals, to meet up with old friends, to make new friends, and to get a little play in. We satisfied all of those goals, the most important of which was the demystification of NEST. It no longer holds power over us in the way it did before. There is no more fear or uncertainty the way there had been for years. Would we be a little nervous if we decide to go again next year? Absolutely! But that nervousness will probably look a lot more like excitement than angst. By attending NEST, I was reminded that rumors are not necessarily facts. I was reminded that experiences can be different for everyone, and while some people may not enjoy NEST or may find it difficult to integrate into the community, a lot of what you get out of NEST is what you put in. Setting the right expectations and going in with the right attitude of love, respect, and gratitude for others goes a very long way in a community largely built on those values. I knew I missed my friends going into NEST, but I learned just how much so when I got my first big hug and handshake from the Texas couple. I learned that, despite having several regrets of not spending more time getting to know some of the interesting people I encountered, that is normal, and there is just not enough time in the world to give every attendee enough of your attention in one NEST. I learned that even though NEST facilitated all of the connections and activities over the weekend, all of which were extremely well-executed, what really makes the event is the souls that attend it. Most everyone was so nice and welcoming beyond my expectations, and I brought back with me the spirit of joy they all shared.
NEST is not especially cheap. That means different things to different people. I’m not poor and I’m not rich, but I do watch my spending carefully. Even then, I spent more than I wanted to, and if we go back, I’ll probably be able to reign that in better. We need a better plan for food. Hotel food is expensive, and eating out adds up quickly. I probably over packed clothes and probably could have made room for some protein bars or something similar. I also learned that, while the scheduled activities at NEST are great, managing your time while at NEST is a very special skill. It becomes a delicate balancing act between scheduling one-on-one meetups with people and attending those activities you are interested in. On top of that, you have others who have their own interest in attending certain activities and people having to shift their plans with you to accommodate others shifting their plans with them. It’s kind of a logistical nightmare. Again, setting expectations and being flexible makes this all so much better, but it still can come with some stress.
NEST is not perfect. We experienced a bit of heartbreak in the midst of all the great times we shared. I think it’s important to be confident enough in yourself when sharing a piece of your vulnerability with others. When you share your vulnerability, you are taking on the risk of pain and suffering, but without being vulnerable, you cannot connect with others on a meaningful level. The NEST staff do everything they can to ensure a safe and inclusive environment, but whether it is NEST or another event, I feel it is important to be secure enough in yourself that if something goes differently than you expect, you are equipped to deal with it in a safe and healthy way. That goes many fold for couples attending NEST or other events together. Not only do they have to be secure in themselves as individuals, but also on the extra dimension of their relationship and shared values. At NEST I learned just how much my wife and I had reaped from what we had sown in our relationship. I learned just how strong we are together and I am so proud of us for putting in the work that has gotten us here.
Will we go again? I honestly don’t know yet. We are generally small group people. We find smaller, more intimate groups allow us to go deeper in conversation and just connect with people in a more meaningful way than larger groups often allow, but NEST is a bit of an anomaly in the sense that it almost fits into both categories. Yes it’s a bigger group, but there’s a lot of breaking off into smaller groups and a lot of freedom to do your own thing with whoever is interested in joining you. I suppose that our current stance is that if our budget and schedule allow for it, we’ll likely be attending next year. For sure we really enjoyed ourselves and got a lot out of the whole thing. Big thanks to the NEST staff for making it all possible and for being so welcoming to us.
Disclosures and Legal Notices
I do not use generative AI for my writing. For better or worse, every sentence of mine is unapologetically written with pure, raw human intelligence. My writing is forged from my passion and desire for self-exploration. The views expressed herein are my own. This content is provided for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or any other kind of professional advice, nor does it come with any guarantees or warranties of any kind. Unless I explicitly state otherwise, I retain all ownership and copyright of my work. That means you can read whatever I post to the public for free as long as I keep it available, but you may not copy, modify, or redistribute it. You may, however, share a link to the URL where I posted it if you wish.
I started out in the online tickling community much younger than I should have. There were less controls at that time and people just didn’t know what they didn’t know about the internet until it was too late. That’s just how things were. So, from the earliest years of the North East Society of Ticklephiles (NEST) being discussed in the online tickling community, I had it in my mind that I’d love to attend. It wasn’t too far back from then that I had learned that there was a tickling community at all. Up until that point, I was a single tickling freak in the world and something was wrong with me. Learning that there was an online community put a crack in my whole perspective up to that point, and subsequently learning that there was a place where many of these people were meeting in person shattered my previous perspective entirely.
Over the years that followed, I kept my eye on NEST with the intention of making my pilgrimage after becoming of age. However, when that time came, I didn’t go. Life sped up quickly and I had a lot going on that demanded my full attention. I eventually found myself in a long-term relationship that did not really include tickling. My dreams about NEST and my desires for tickling were buried as deeply as I could bury them. I was an adult now and it was time to focus on my responsibilities.
Years passed, and my desire for tickling, though buried beneath the surface, was burning hotter than ever within me. My relationship fell apart due to many factors, not just the vanilla-ness of it. I was heartbroken and lost for a while, but it was a good period where I found myself and the things that were important to me: the things that defined me. Tickling was among those things. I committed to changing my perspective about tickling and learning to accept it as part of who I am. That took a lot of work, but it gave me the courage, confidence, and fortitude to find ticklemepurplee, the perfect girl in the online tickling community. We both were looking for play partners and hit it off very well. So well, in fact, that we’ve been married for several years now.
A few years into our marriage, we decided to start exploring playing with others as a couple. We started slowly and carefully, and I am still thankful for our foresight into taking that approach. Our first session was with the fantastic Texas couple, TT and WT, who have become lifelong friends to us. They set the bar for all of our future play arrangements and we can only aspire to reach their level of kindness, respect, and communication. With the experience they afforded us, we added more play partners over time and gradually built our confidence and experience, but NEST was still a mystery to us and we never really stopped thinking about it.
We put off attending for a few years, in part due to moving to a different state, getting integrated into our new city, and normal life stuff, but also in part due to anxieties and uncertainties about the idea of attending a large event. We had met with and played with several people in the community by that point, but had no real event experience. We had come across rumors of bad experiences at NEST and were cautious. But we also had friends that had attended before and they had overall positive experiences with it and encouraged us to go. In 2025, we connected with several NEST veterans who were very reassuring and we eventually committed to going to NEST in 2026.
What It Was Like
Thursday
When doing anything new, I find it important to first set reasonable expectations. As I alluded to earlier, we had heard some negative comments about NEST, and while we decided to go, we wanted our expectations to be calibrated. We had heard some people had reservations about some of the organizers of NEST, but we also knew that there had been turnover in staff and that there was a clear and intentional effort to make NEST feel even more inclusive, safe, and welcoming. We had also heard that NEST is very cliquey and it can be difficult to integrate into their community, but we were open minded about this because cliquy can also just mean that it is a community that takes more time to trust outsiders and that they will care for and protect you once you are accepted. Going in, we didn’t know exactly what to expect in regard to all the rumors that we had heard, but we decided to go in with one primary goal and a few secondary goals. Our primary goal was simply to demystify NEST. There was no sense in believing or dismissing the rumors until we experienced it for ourselves. We weren’t going to go the rest of our lives not knowing what it was really all about. We would never know how we personally felt about it until we jumped in head first. If we did nothing else over the weekend, we thought, demystifying everything would make the trip worth it. We didn’t ever have to go back if we didn’t enjoy ourselves. Our secondary goals were to meet up with old friends, to make new friends, and to get a little play in.
I could tell I was a little nervous, as just the thought of going through airport security had me anxious. Maybe that was all the bondage and play equipment I crammed into our carry-on luggage or just the fact that I hate travel, but it was honestly the smoothest TSA experience I’ve had to date. In the past we’ve had to take off our shoes, unpack certain items and put them into the bins, then repack everything on the other side. This time, they didn’t have us remove our shoes, they didn’t have us remove anything from our bags, and our bags full of all kinds of metal-laden bondage gear and tickling devices passed right through. There wasn’t even a line to wait in! The only 30-second delay was because for no known reason, the scanner prompted the TSA agent to pat down the lower half of my left leg. I wondered if I had shrapnel that I was unaware of. Hilariously, the bag of the next person to come in behind us set off the scanner right away. What on earth must they have been packing? I thought. The flight went smooth and before we knew it, we were at the destination airport. We connected with some others looking for a shared transport to the hotel.
We arrived on Thursday, but NEST didn’t officially start until Friday. Still, there were so many people coming in when we arrived. I had the lingering feeling that my vulnerability was on display. Everyone knew why I was there. We quickly checked into our room, ordered some dinner, and immediately got a text message from one of our friends from Texas, “When are you arriving?” We replied, “We just got into our room and are waiting for our Chinese food to be delivered.” She replied in what I imagined was her best mom voice, “We’re down here in the lobby! Get your butts down here!” My wife and I looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing. We didn’t realize how much tension we were holding onto until that moment. I thought to myself, I guess it really is that easy. We just go downstairs and get to know people. Of course, our more sociable friends accelerated that quite a bit by introducing us to anyone within proximity. Everyone was so nice and welcoming. If anything, I felt like the closed off untrusting one. I vowed to adjust the presentation of my attitude for the rest of our trip. If there were bad people at NEST, I hadn’t met any of them yet.
There was an orientation that night for those who arrived early. We decided to go to that and get it out of the way so we could focus on socializing and feeling things out. The orientation was so packed that we had to stand in the back of the presentation room, but we were with someone we had connected with online who made us feel welcome and we laughed through the presentation together. It was during the presentation that things started to feel very surreal. The word “tickle” was spoken aloud several times and the subject of tickling play was discussed. There were a lot of shy people, but there was also a lot of palpably mutual understanding and enthusiasm in the room. I realized I was right earlier—my vulnerability was on display, but so was everyone else’s.
For the rest of Thursday night we socialized and greeted new people that were still coming in. We got to spend a good while catching up with old friends and other people we had known only online up to that point. It was such a strange but fulfilling experience. Eventually we broke off from the group to better get to know a couple we met online. We talked for a while and reconciled the flesh and blood in front of us with the messages and calls we’d been having with them. A hug or two brought it all to life… And then a tickle! We decided to do some “sample tickles,” which were very fun. I got to do a little tickle fight with the woman, which was one of her requests. I’m not sure she knew how good I am at those, but she found out! We had some good fun and then eventually turned in for the night.
Friday
I did not sleep well at all. I normally have a pretty consistent sleep schedule, and when I travel, it always gets completely messed up. The biggest problem is that no matter when I go to sleep, my body still wants to wake up the same time every morning, and that’s exactly what it did. I knew all that going into this, but it still hit hard. However, I was in a hotel, and hotels have coffee. What is coffee, anyway, if not liquid sleep? So, a big thanks to coffee for saving my NEST! My wife and I had a loose plan for food going into this, but that plan fell apart like a house of cards the moment we had arrived the day before. We decided to have breakfast at the hotel with FS, who we have had interaction with online, but had never had the privilege to meet in person. It was nice to learn about each other and share some stories over an overpriced but tasty breakfast burrito. Eventually, the event organizer pulled up a chair and sat with us. He really made us feel welcome and had some interesting stories to share of his own. Sometimes you just get a feeling about someone upon first meeting them that really gives you an impression of what they’re about, and he was one of those people. He had a clear vision of community, safety, and privacy, and was an all around good person. Our already established friends made us feel confident enough to attend NEST, and the event organizer made us feel at home. Together, that laid the foundation for us to feel safe and to relax enough to really enjoy the event.
We attended the newbie mixer later that morning, which was a little get to know you for all the NEST newbies. I felt like a bit of a newbie imposter, as I knew several people in the community, even though I was still a newbie to NEST. There were people there who had never met with or played with anyone. I was so impressed with their courage to attend at that stage of their journey. My wife and I actually didn’t get paired up with anyone at the mixer, as there weren’t enough left over newbies to form another group, but we were fine with that since many of the newbies had met no one in the community at all. We still had a brief interaction with a newbie right before the mixer who we still regret not being able to connect with more over the weekend. She was so wholesome and sweet, but our interaction was interrupted by an announcement and we never got reconnected. Perhaps sometime in the future we’ll get the opportunity to properly meet her. The newbie coordinator also came to talk with us and she was very kind and fun to talk with. Everyone was just so nice and considerate. At this point, I don’t think I had a single bad experience, save for the sleep issues.
The rest of the day included a few planned play sessions and getting to know more people. We ate lunch in the lobby while sitting with one of the class presenters. We knew her from the online world, but never had met in person. She was still preparing her presentation, so we tried not to be too disruptive, but it was nice to finally meet her. I’m sure I gave a flawless first impression as I gobbled down the greasiest burger and fries I think I’ve ever had (I was starving), while trying to remember how words work on 2 hours of sleep. Eventually one of her friends came up to her and kept tickling her. At first I froze while thinking, oh my god, there’s tickling, but then I remembered that was what this was all about—these were my people!
There were so many people by Friday afternoon. At one point the crowd in the public areas became overwhelming and we escaped to our room for a bit to recover before doing a scheduled play session. Immediately following that was a pizza party in the lobby for all attendees where we got to hang out with our friends from Texas again and process our experiences up to that point. It was such a blessing having friends there with us. There was much to be grateful for.
Later Friday night after the pizza party, we went to see the raffle parade, a fun raffle event where people are introduced as “prizes” to win in a raffle drawing. Play is not guaranteed, but if you win, you get connected with them and if both parties are a good fit, they can play together. The real appeal of the parade, is that the announcer reads the submitted description of the people to be raffled, and they are almost all hilarious. I wish I could remember any of them to give an example, but the lack of sleep affected my memory. All I know is it made me laugh, and that’s good entertainment value in my world.
Saturday
Yep, you guessed it. I slept poorly again. I also noticed just how dry the air was in the hotel. I thought I was imagining it the whole time, but no, it was very real. I took a hot steamy shower and that helped revive me enough so that we could get downstairs and get breakfast and coffee. FS had now become our breakfast buddy. It was great to have a morning routine even being away from home. We talked for quite a bit and then had some time to explore the hotel more thoroughly. By now, more play sessions were going on throughout the hotel. Going up and down the halls, you could hear giggling, bursts of hard laughter, screaming, and begging coming from various rooms. The main public play area was set up with all kinds of bondage furniture and was really interesting, but we were too shy at the time to play in there. However, it was very fun to watch a few public play sessions from a respectful distance.
We had a play session scheduled for the afternoon, but it got canceled. We still don’t know exactly what happened, but we had connected with them leading up to NEST and put a lot of energy into it. They even spent some time with us the first few days and everything seemed okay, but after they canceled the session, they very deliberately ignored us for the rest of the event and unfriended us. We had considered them a real flesh and blood friend by this point and had a difficult time processing what happened, especially my wife, who was very hurt by it. I just hope it wasn’t someone starting a petty rumor about us out of jealousy or malice. We work very hard to make others comfortable in and out of play, so this was a very confusing and unexpected occurrence. It may have just been an anxiety thing or something similar that they were experiencing. I certainly hope that nothing bad had happened to them during the event and that they are okay. However, it was also a learning experience for us and we might need to work on a better vetting process in the future. These are emotional connections, and I need to put my wife’s feelings first.
Feeling confused and a little disappointed about what had happened, we decided to recoil back to our room and take a break. But once we got there, we got a message from someone my wife had connected with online some time ago and had briefly met at one point in the lobby. She was interested in talking with us if we were free. I gauged my wife’s reactions, not knowing if she’d feel up to it after what had just happened, but she seemed really excited, which made me excited too. We met her in a secluded section of the lobby and we talked for a bit before she just asked us outright if we’d like to play with her. It actually took me by surprise, as she seemed so soft spoken and shy. In fact, not only did she ask, but she produced a list of things like her boundaries, likes, dislikes, and all kinds of things related to how she prefers to play. It was very helpful and we really appreciated the thoughtfulness she put into it. It was clear she knew exactly what she did and did not want, so we were okay moving right into play with her. She was a 100% lee and we are switches, but we are often okay playing on just one side or the other, especially in the context of an event like NEST where there are likely to be many play partners with a variety of interests and alignments.
We went right to her room and covered a few safety things before securing her to the bed. We each took a few minutes to learn where she was most sensitive before we tickled her together. Let me just say, what an adorable and fun lee she is! Her sweet personality and kindness to us was very healing in that moment. We needed that. To our surprise, she gave us the nicest compliments and told us we worked very well as a team. That comment probably made me feel the best of anything I heard at NEST, as this is all first and foremost a shared experience for us that helps us grow together. For someone to recognize that and to appreciate it in the way she did, I don’t think we could have asked for a better gift. We are very grateful for her time and trust. She was also interested in a session the following day, which we scheduled for in the morning after breakfast.
After unpacking our session with her, we went to have a planned session with our friends from Texas. We had to break up the session into two parts, one for Saturday and one for Sunday since they had a window of time they had to work within on both days. My wife was the lee on the first day. It was fun to hear their joy as they began bringing out her familiar psychotic laughter. For those who don’t know, it can be a challenge to tickle my wife, not so much because of anything to do with her sensitivity level, but it is difficult to keep it up with how funny her reactions can be. Sometimes I feel like I’m laughing at her just as much as she’s laughing at the tickling. Don’t worry, though—there were three of us. We barbecued the poor girl with tickles! The hotel was surprisingly insulated, but if you were on that floor during our session, I know you heard her shrieks and pleas. You’re welcome.
Sunday
You’ll never believe this, but I got a full night of sleep! The awful part is that I was in such a deficit that it didn’t feel like it at all… Coffee time! The breakfast buddies were at it again. My wife swore the burritos got smaller, but I think she just needed more food from all the tickling exhaustion from the previous day. Some people are lightweights, you know? Anyway, that consistent routine for starting our day really did make the difference. Or was it the caffeine? Whatever, we had a great conversation again and eventually the lee from yesterday met us at our table. We talked for a bit and then had our second session with her, which went even better than the last. It was so rewarding to witness her get those warm and fuzzy feelings that only come after a lengthy tickle session. I gave her a makeshift shoulder massage to ease the tension she built up from me just not being able to stay off of her neck during the play. It was a treasure trove of tender nerve endings that made her squeal with every touch. She was so fun to tickle, but the best part about her is that she is so kind, patient, and understanding. It’s always magical to me, as long as the foundational chemistry is there, how easy it is for tickling to form bonds between people. I believe we made a new friend.
We planned on attending some of the scheduled activities on Sunday, but we needed some down time between play. In the afternoon we met again with the Texans to get more play in. It was fun to try out their new tickle toys. I have the mind of an engineer, so about a week or so before NEST, I had a plan to create a new tickle toy, but I didn’t have the time before NEST to work on it. I was so happy that I had the idea and couldn’t wait to share it with the Texas couple, but when they showed me their toys, he had manifested my idea without me ever having shared it with him! Not only did he make it, but he made it with multiple applicators. You think you know a guy. I thought this kind of stuff only happened in spy movies, but apparently this is tickle tool warfare! I’m now regularly watching out my window for spy drones trying to steal the designs for my tickle tool technology (TTT).
We took a shower and chilled out a bit after that. Being totally candid here, some of our unresolved feelings resurfaced and we were feeling a little down at that time. It was also nearing the end of NEST and you could just feel that shared knowing in the air. It was at that point that our hunger hit us like a ton of bricks; we hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and here it was evening! We sat in the lobby and I ate at least three-fourths of a large pizza, half of a giant greek salad, and half of a sizable garlic bread. No, I don’t have a binge eating problem—I was just that hungry! My tiny wife ate the rest, and while we were satisfied in terms of hunger, those feelings lingered as we sat there alone.
What happened next was maybe the most defining moment of my perspective on the NEST community. Our friends were elsewhere in the hotel and there were a few people in the lobby, but no one we knew well. Still, MT came up to us and sat down. We all got to know each other more and he started introducing us to others in the room. Before I knew it, we were feeling quite a bit better. He introduced us to VL, who seems very sweet and thoughtful. We didn’t get a lot of time with her because we were being introduced to multiple people, but I regret not making a point to reconnect with her before we left. In my defense, however, that girl is clearly a ninja as evidenced by her ability to vanish without a trace! We also were introduced to EI and his lovely partner BI, who were wonderful to talk with and get to know. The reason I say this was one of the most defining moments for our perspective of the community was simply that people were genuine, interested, and understanding. Several people came up to us with care and attention. I didn’t get the impression that they were looking for anything from us other than to offer us their company and kindness, and to receive the same in return. What is a great community if not that? We ended the night on a much higher note than expected.
Monday
NEST was over. No more breakfast buddies, no more feeling like everyone in the room gets you, and no more feeling sheltered and safe from the outside world. We had to leave early for the airport. We sent some goodbye messages and waited for our Uber. Even as we’re standing in the lobby waiting, the sense of community was palpable with everyone giving each other well-wishes and having all the feelings about having to depart soon. Even in the last five minutes of us standing outside the hotel, we got an offer from someone we hadn’t even met yet to share an Uber ride, and we would have had ours not already been on the way.
The ride to the airport and the flight back home were quiet and reflective. Going through airport security was about the same as before, but no lower leg pat down. I guess I don’t have shrapnel after all. We had a feeling of closing the circle as we saw one of the two people we originally shared a ride with to the hotel on Thursday. We didn’t say much to each other, not knowing how the other navigates these things outside of the event, but it was a nice reminder that just because we’re away from the hotel now, we still have connections. Touching back down into Nashville felt bitter sweet. We were glad to be back home, and yet we missed everyone we shared the weekend with. When I had first entered the hotel, I had felt like it was like entering the matrix. Some artificial construction that we were all engaging in to escape our everyday reality. But on the car ride home, I realized that, no, most of our interactions with the tickling community is online. That is the matrix. What we did this past weekend was an escape from it, if only for a few days.
What I Learned
After a new experience or a play session I always like to spend time with my wife processing everything and reflecting on what, if anything, we learned or took away from it. First and foremost, as I mentioned earlier in this writing, we had one primary goal, to demystify NEST, and a few secondary goals, to meet up with old friends, to make new friends, and to get a little play in. We satisfied all of those goals, the most important of which was the demystification of NEST. It no longer holds power over us in the way it did before. There is no more fear or uncertainty the way there had been for years. Would we be a little nervous if we decide to go again next year? Absolutely! But that nervousness will probably look a lot more like excitement than angst. By attending NEST, I was reminded that rumors are not necessarily facts. I was reminded that experiences can be different for everyone, and while some people may not enjoy NEST or may find it difficult to integrate into the community, a lot of what you get out of NEST is what you put in. Setting the right expectations and going in with the right attitude of love, respect, and gratitude for others goes a very long way in a community largely built on those values. I knew I missed my friends going into NEST, but I learned just how much so when I got my first big hug and handshake from the Texas couple. I learned that, despite having several regrets of not spending more time getting to know some of the interesting people I encountered, that is normal, and there is just not enough time in the world to give every attendee enough of your attention in one NEST. I learned that even though NEST facilitated all of the connections and activities over the weekend, all of which were extremely well-executed, what really makes the event is the souls that attend it. Most everyone was so nice and welcoming beyond my expectations, and I brought back with me the spirit of joy they all shared.
NEST is not especially cheap. That means different things to different people. I’m not poor and I’m not rich, but I do watch my spending carefully. Even then, I spent more than I wanted to, and if we go back, I’ll probably be able to reign that in better. We need a better plan for food. Hotel food is expensive, and eating out adds up quickly. I probably over packed clothes and probably could have made room for some protein bars or something similar. I also learned that, while the scheduled activities at NEST are great, managing your time while at NEST is a very special skill. It becomes a delicate balancing act between scheduling one-on-one meetups with people and attending those activities you are interested in. On top of that, you have others who have their own interest in attending certain activities and people having to shift their plans with you to accommodate others shifting their plans with them. It’s kind of a logistical nightmare. Again, setting expectations and being flexible makes this all so much better, but it still can come with some stress.
NEST is not perfect. We experienced a bit of heartbreak in the midst of all the great times we shared. I think it’s important to be confident enough in yourself when sharing a piece of your vulnerability with others. When you share your vulnerability, you are taking on the risk of pain and suffering, but without being vulnerable, you cannot connect with others on a meaningful level. The NEST staff do everything they can to ensure a safe and inclusive environment, but whether it is NEST or another event, I feel it is important to be secure enough in yourself that if something goes differently than you expect, you are equipped to deal with it in a safe and healthy way. That goes many fold for couples attending NEST or other events together. Not only do they have to be secure in themselves as individuals, but also on the extra dimension of their relationship and shared values. At NEST I learned just how much my wife and I had reaped from what we had sown in our relationship. I learned just how strong we are together and I am so proud of us for putting in the work that has gotten us here.
Will we go again? I honestly don’t know yet. We are generally small group people. We find smaller, more intimate groups allow us to go deeper in conversation and just connect with people in a more meaningful way than larger groups often allow, but NEST is a bit of an anomaly in the sense that it almost fits into both categories. Yes it’s a bigger group, but there’s a lot of breaking off into smaller groups and a lot of freedom to do your own thing with whoever is interested in joining you. I suppose that our current stance is that if our budget and schedule allow for it, we’ll likely be attending next year. For sure we really enjoyed ourselves and got a lot out of the whole thing. Big thanks to the NEST staff for making it all possible and for being so welcoming to us.
Disclosures and Legal Notices
I do not use generative AI for my writing. For better or worse, every sentence of mine is unapologetically written with pure, raw human intelligence. My writing is forged from my passion and desire for self-exploration. The views expressed herein are my own. This content is provided for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or any other kind of professional advice, nor does it come with any guarantees or warranties of any kind. Unless I explicitly state otherwise, I retain all ownership and copyright of my work. That means you can read whatever I post to the public for free as long as I keep it available, but you may not copy, modify, or redistribute it. You may, however, share a link to the URL where I posted it if you wish.
