Are Men at a Disadvantage in Tickling?

[SlaverTickler]

Sounds more like John Wayne.

Do they still have women that cry at the drop of a dime? Most ladies I been around (believe me i been around a hella lot of them over the last 7 years) don't cry, they prefer to kick your butt or find a way to be back at you than cry. the question should be "DO WOMEN NEED MEN TO DEFEND THEIR HONOR ANY LONGER?" OR "DOES MEN NEED TO STOP TRYING TO TREAT WOMEN AS THE WEAKER SEX?"

There is no wining. If you treat them as equils (aka on of the guys) they get mad or offended, if you treat them like "Laddies" (aka "The Weaker Sex") they get mad too, so it really doesn't matter what you do. If your protective you are smouthering them, if you aren't you neglecting them. It's a lose/lose situation.

 

[the wiz]

I found this diagram I think will better explain the situation...

The middle ones the girl...
😀

I stated it earlier, men are outright about what they want, and women are more reserve. Yes, males are at a disadvantage because they spend their time trying to be the first in line, (the one with the most toys wins) unlike women, they sit back, then choices which one they want. Usually they pick a guy who been to a few gatherings, have a several hundred posts and well known in the area.

There are only a handful of guys that lurk around like buzzards looking for a fresh kill which make it hard for the nice shy guys.

 

[the wiz]

There is no wining. If you treat them as equils (aka on of the guys) they get mad or offended, if you treat them like "Laddies" (aka "The Weaker Sex") they get mad too, so it really doesn't matter what you do. If your protective you are smouthering them, if you aren't you neglecting them. It's a lose/lose situation.

Third option, just sit there, and wait until they tell you want they want. (Don’t forget to pack breakfast, lunch, dinner, pajamas and bedding because you going to be waiting for a long time). Why don’t women just tell us what they want? Are they afraid if they do, we will run away screaming?

 

[SlaverTickler]

I stated it earlier, men are outright about what they want, and women are more reserve. Yes, males are at a disadvantage because they spend their time trying to be the first in line, (the one with the most toys wins) unlike women, they sit back, then choices which one they want. Usually they pick a guy who been to a few gatherings, have a several hundred posts and well known in the area.

There are only a handful of guys that lurk around like buzzards looking for a fresh kill which make it hard for the nice shy guys.

I wouldn't say I'm shy, but I think I'm good to talk too. Thats not to say I'm aposed to Cybering with someone, I just don't push it if the girl say's no. Also it's not our fault there are so few women who join the forum, though the small group (as wiz puts it) are probably the reason why so many of them leave. The mantle of "Boys will be boy" could aply, but being that your suposed to be 19 to join the forum and by then you should have some manners, only further backs my belief that some people have lied about ther age.

 

[the wiz]

I wouldn't say I am shy, but I think I good to talk too. Thats not to say I'm aposed to Cybering with someone, I just don't push it if the girl say know. Also it's not our fault there are so few women who join the forum, though the small group (as wiz puts it) are probably the reason why so many of them leave. The mantle of "Boys will be boy" could aply, but being that your suposed to be 19 to join the forum and by then you should have some manners, only further backs my belief that some people have lied about ther age.

so true.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Omg

I just saw how many errors I made there (in your qoute Wiz) sheesh, I say I'm a good guy to talk to, but nobody can understand me lol.

 

[badreligion]

I certainly agree with you that men are at a disadvantage on TMF. As stated before though, with the abundance of men (mostly lers) all searching for a lee things can be a bit crazy. As a female mostly lee (that's right!) I have found that most of the people (men) that I talk to on this forum have no conversational skills and usually say very rude and inappropriate things. Just because I am a member here does not mean I want guys of all ages (sorry anyone over about 25) sending me messages about tickling without talking about anything else. I'm sure there are lots of great guys and girls out here on TMF, but come on it's not to much to ask for conversational skills. 🙂

thats problem girls post who are 18 to 22 or so and they get hassled by guys half there ages , and ur right they really arnt polite idk what makes them think that a 22 year old would want a 40 or 50 year old tickler its creepy if u ask me

 

[the wiz]

thats problem girls post who are 18 to 22 or so and they get hassled by guys half there ages , and ur right they really arnt polite idk what makes them think that a 22 year old would want a 40 or 50 year old tickler its creepy if u ask me

I take it you never been to a gathering, the average age would be 30 - 35 depending the amount of people there. the ler must have the permssion of the lee; if the lee say no, that's the end of it.

 

[the wiz]

I certainly agree with you that men are at a disadvantage on TMF. As stated before though, with the abundance of men (mostly lers) all searching for a lee things can be a bit crazy. As a female mostly lee (that's right!) I have found that most of the people (men) that I talk to on this forum have no conversational skills and usually say very rude and inappropriate things. Just because I am a member here does not mean I want guys of all ages (sorry anyone over about 25) sending me messages about tickling without talking about anything else. I'm sure there are lots of great guys and girls out here on TMF, but come on it's not to much to ask for conversational skills. 🙂

I'm sorry for your experience, i don't know about the guys who contact you; but, the majority of the guys that post regular are very articulate and knowledgeable, just read some of the post in the general discussion forum.

I admit I do not have great writing skills; I never been into writing. However, I do have great people skills and can hold my own in a group or one – on- one.

 

[aurora5150]

for me it's all in how i'm approached. i've had many guys basically say "i read one of your posts and i want to tickle you. when can we meet?"

i even had one guy contact me because he thought my sig was a pic of me. and when i told him that wasn't me he just disappeared. not that i minded.

guys if you wanna meet women on here you gotta treat them the same as you would if meeting face to face.

i honestly think steph is right on. "the real men on this forum who value real women over superficial traits (mostly the majority in comparison to vanilla guys) have ZERO problem attracting girls."

 

[Comfort Eagle]

for me it's all in how i'm approached. i've had many guys basically say "i read one of your posts and i want to tickle you. when can we meet?"

I've sent PM's saying "I've seen you around, feel like talking?" before. That's not the same thing, right?

 

[aurora5150]

no that is not the same thing 🙂

infact that is a great way to start to get to know someone imo. it's about being respectful and polite.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

no that is not the same thing 🙂

infact that is a great way to start to get to know someone imo. it's about being respectful and polite.

K just checking. 🙂

 

[tkl-pen]

thats problem girls post who are 18 to 22 or so and they get hassled by guys half there ages , and ur right they really arnt polite idk what makes them think that a 22 year old would want a 40 or 50 year old tickler its creepy if u ask me

Kid, I'm sorry you think it's creepy for an older guy to tickle a younger girl - I don't feel anything about my age - and it gives me pleasure to put a girl in her twenties in bondage and tickle her for a little while - I don't care if she's fully clothed or not - I don't care about sex with her - only to tickle her for a little while - and there are places where I can do that for a fee - the girl has a personal interview, agrees and gets paid - I'm respectful and kind - hell, I even wash my hands first - you've come up with morals, ethics and now creepy - but you know what - I need my gratification, too - and I'd be the last one, kid, to criticize you if you tickled your mother, or her if she tickled you - and, by the way, I don't hassle girls 18 to 22 who post on this forum or anywhere else - I leave that for fellows like you to take care of.

Just for you kid, here are some of my favorite ticklees - including my very favorite in my signature pic.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Sounds FIne

Kid, I'm sorry you think it's creepy for an older guy to tickle a younger girl - I don't feel anything about my age - and it gives me pleasure to put a girl in her twenties in bondage and tickle her for a little while - I don't care if she's fully clothed or not - I don't care about sex with her - only to tickle her for a little while - and there are places where I can do that for a fee - the girl has a personal interview, agrees and gets paid - I'm respectful and kind - hell, I even wash my hands first - you've come up with morals, ethics and now creepy - but you know what - I need my gratification, too - and I'd be the last one, kid, to criticize you if you tickled your mother - and, by the way, I don't hassle girls 18 to 22 who post on this forum or anywhere else - I leave that for fellows like you to take care of.

Sounds to me like your exactly the type of guy a female Lee would want to meet at a gathering. No presure for sex, just some fun with a set of stocks. Nothing wrong with you pen, it's them thats crazy🙂

 

[tkl-pen]

My finest experiences so far, Slavetickler, have been in a dungeon setting where I paid for the privilege - in the interview before I go in, I tell the young lady exactly what I want to do and ask her for any limits she wants to put on and her safeword - 'red' is really good and very simple - I ask her if there are any clothes that I may not remove, any places that I may not touch, any of the bondage implements she isn't comfortable with or doesn't like, how she likes to be tickled (lightly or intensely) - I tell her to use the safeword if she needs a break and to let me know if I hurt her in any way (I don't want to do that) - afterwards, I ask her for any feedback she may have so that I can learn to do better - and I respect every one of the limits that she sets and the safeword (although I have never had it used). It's important to me that the girl feels safe and comfortable with me and that she also derives some pleasure from the experience.

I view myself as the older mentor, talking to the girl as we go along - and if there is someone else present, I talk to them as well. I consider myself very much like the male character in some of my stories, who is based on my own personality and Ricardo Montalban's looks and manners (Fantasy Island). I don't know how to link to my stories, but look up 'Taleena's 1st Adventure' and 'The Ticklish Travels of Rachel Cook - Part 1' to see what I mean.

Now, I only wish that I could find one or two local ticklees in Calgary, or to find a way to contact some of the young female Japanese tourists who are always going to Banff and Lake Louise nearby - I have such a passion for a Japanese girl - instead of having to fly three or four hours to the closest dungeon.

 

[Wolf]

What-what-Huh??

thats problem girls post who are 18 to 22 or so and they get hassled by guys half there ages , and ur right they really arnt polite idk what makes them think that a 22 year old would want a 40 or 50 year old tickler its creepy if u ask me

Guys half there (sic) ages? So, they're getting hassled by a bunch of horny 9 to 11 year olds? (Sorry, that was too easy)

In all seriousness, I get your drift, but how did you make the jump from "Are men at a disadvantage" to "creepy old guys"? (I'm in my forties, and yeah, I do think a woman in hear early 20's or below is too young for me. But that's just me.)

But this seems to be a familiar soapbox for you, and definitely not your first post on the matter.....what's the deal? Did an older guy steal your girlfriend, or what?

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Just for you kid, here are some of my favorite ticklees - including my very favorite in my signature pic.

Damn that first one's pretty.

 

[tkl-pen]

My two polls have now closed and here are the results:

80% of 55 respondents say its okay for an older men (like me) to tickle a young woman - 10% say no - 10% have no opinion;

95% of 13 respondents say its okay for an older woman to tickle a young woman - 5% (1 respondent) says no;

so, the older man draws almost 5 times as much attention as the older woman tickling the same young female ticklee and twice as many respondents say its wrong for the man than for the woman;

I think I'll just keep tickling any young lady who allows me to do so - and I'll do so, as always, with respect and gratitude.

 

[chickles_:)]

Equal standards don't always apply. The truth is that men are just genuinly seen as more threatening than women. This in itself is actually somewhat sexist in a sense that it says a guy can and probably will do more harm than a woman, to both parties. So thus, a man tickling a younger woman would seem more threatening by nature....

Hiya all,
Uhm, I sort of see your point, Excess, but what about the fact that most of us end up with older guys? (married or otherwise) If it's totally frowned on to get tickled by an older guy,, then what hope is there for us 'lee's to have any long-term fun??

Just a Q 🙂

When it comes to tickles, I say, "if the shoe's loose - don't wear it,,," 😛 -whatever the participants' respective adult ages are! 😀

Many blessings,
chickles

 

[tkl-pen]

A little off topic here - go figure, I started the thread - but I've noticed that some of the ladies here have fabulous signature pics - Chicles, its fabulous - that girl epitomizes the perfect ticklee in my mind - Aurora, its gorgeous.

 

[Excess]

Uhm, I sort of see your point, Excess, but what about the fact that most of us end up with older guys? (married or otherwise) If it's totally frowned on to get tickled by an older guy,, then what hope is there for us 'lee's to have any long-term fun??

Well the main point of that was that guys in general are seen as potentially threatening to women, regardless of age. And when I say "older", I don't just mean a few years give or take. I mean a good 20 and over years.

Unless most of you really do want guys that much older. But then...what hope is there for me to find someone until I'm about 40?

 

[BellaRisa]

Ok...

I've been lurking in this thread, and I'd like to add a few points from another female's POV:

A) The male to female ratio has nothing to do with this. Seriously. First of all, you have no way of knowing that there are more males here than females; as often as folks say that, the fact that more males are vocal does not mean that there are more of them. I'm not saying there aren't more guys, just that we don't know. Furthermore, the whole "there are too many guys trying to be first in line" dealie doesn't wash. There have always been a gamillion guys here, and everywhere else. Each woman knows what she's looking for, and frankly it's the rare lady here who will only interact with one gent, online or otherwise. If you come correct and your game is tight is doesn't matter how many others wanna play 😎

B) Women don't really have the same goals as men on forums like these. Even when we're looking for a 'ler or a relationship, we have different interests and, perhaps more importantly, different tolerance levels. For instance, having been a TMF member for years and an AMT member before that, I'm kinda tired of answering the same "so when did you discover you were into tickling?" and "whats your most ticklish spot?" type questions . To the point where a form letter has actually appeared in my mind's eye; I wouldn't be so callous, but I admit I've thought about it . No matter how strong our tickling kink, and it can be VERY strong, we ladies just don't wanna have the same PM or email convo about our feet over and over and over. And with a lot of guys here, even the very nice ones, that's all the conversation they seem to have. I touched on this in the post I made regarding personals; you have to bring more than tickling to the table or our eyes glaze over. Yes, I know, it's a tickling forum...but at least pretend you got past the ninth grade and you have three dimensions, y'know? 🙂

C) Tkl-pen said this:

I think I'll just keep tickling any young lady who allows me to.

I am NOT picking on him, I understand where he's coming from with that statement . BUT, taken the way it's usually meant by males here, this quote is a big reason that so many females are silent around this and other forums; lack of individuality. How many ladies here have received attention purely for being female and breathing? That's insulting, boys. When a member PM's me and has something intelligent to say about my videos or a post I made, conversation starts from there and we very often become friends, online and off. OTOH, when I receive the 14 millionth PM about what oogy thing he wants to do to my big toe (and asking if that's my number one tickle spot🙄)...I'm not proud of my rudeness but he may not even get a response. It feels icky, like actually talking to one of those nasty little men who whistle and touch themselves when you walk by the liquor store after dark. .

D) Finally, I get the impression that many people here of both sexes are already involved. There are several personals I'd have answered if I were single, but I haven't been since 1992 I suspect that there are lots of female tk-philes who love being here but simply aren't single, and the ones that are..between real time dating and weeding through the many many many generic ads here they're kinda busy. All the more reason to make your ad stick out from the herd, use some sense and style when you do PM someone, and be patient. It WILL happen.

Bella

 

[MrPartickler]

A) The male to female ratio has nothing to do with this. Seriously. First of all, you have no way of knowing that there are more males here than females; as often as folks say that, the fact that more males are vocal does not mean that there are more of them. I'm not saying there aren't more guys, just that we don't know. Furthermore, the whole "there are too many guys trying to be first in line" dealie doesn't wash. There have always been a gamillion guys here, and everywhere else. Each woman knows what she's looking for, and frankly it's the rare lady here who will only interact with one gent, online or otherwise. If you come correct and your game is tight is doesn't matter how many others wanna play 😎

Since it's late and I'm a bit wasted (lol) I'll post this....

First: Yes, there is a measurable disadvantage. Yes, I've met TMFer ladies before. Yes, it is possible to succeed (eventually) anyway. That doesn't mean it will happen, even under the best of circumstances...just that it's possible.

1) The ratio matters whether we actually know it or not--unless that ratio is 1:1, which it is not in all likelihood.

2) The most often cited statistic for the ratio of men to women who visit adult/porn sites is about 3 to 1. (I'd cite a link or two, but I'm feeling lazy now. Besides, Google works for everyone.) Is there a reason to think the TMF ratio is significantly better than the average overall? Probably not.

In fact, I'd estimate the TMF ratio is significantly worse than this. If anyone wants to better understand this trend, simply count the ratio of female login IDs to male ones on the login page. Track this number over time. (Be a little conservative/generous if you wish to account for ambiguous or gender-neutral names if you wish.) It's a sample, but my guess is that it provides a rough estimate of the actual ratio...i.e., not that great.

3) Every measurable (i.e., not imagined) metric I can personally think of indicates a significant number disparity between men and women on this forum. That translates to a disadvantage. That does not mean connections (for men) are impossible; it just means they will be noticeably more difficult to make.

Now, if there is some quantifiable measure that someone propose that contradicts this assessment, that would be useful information to share. I personally prefer to work with real things as opposed to imagined ones. So any assertion that because we don't know everything, we must know nothing always strikes me as being fundamentally flawed.

4) A measure of active membership is important as well. Let's say there are lots of women (and/or men) who don't post, don't respond to PMs, don't initiate PMs, or don't enter the chatroom...but they lurk. How much credit should be given for these people? Think about it: there are literally tens (or hundreds?) of thousands of posts that are scattered throughout the TMF. If none of those have provoked a response, it's highly unlikely even the most creative personal ad can eclipse them all enough to elicit their responses either. Basically, if someone's activity level is below a certain amount, they really don't count for much in this equation. Active members are just much more likely to "engage" than inactive ones. So if the active membership is heavily male-dominated, what should we realistically expect of interactions behind the scenes? Realistically, remember?

-------------------

I could go on and on about this subject, but I won't. I've often thought of forming a more detailed thread post, but I've noticed that when a guy openly discusses things like this, it's usually just perceived as negativity or bitterness. So, regardless of the veracity of the claims, it often just reflects poorly on the poster.

I can definitely sign on to one thing: we should all try to focus on things we can control. For instance, the M/F ratio isn't really controllable, but our personal interactions with others are. I do like to know something about the field too, however, as it helps me to moderate my expectations. That can be helpful for keeping frustration at bay.

 

[Redmage]

Maybe I'm weird, but I've just never felt particularly disadvantaged. I know that there are fewer women than men, but it hasn't affected me in any way that I've noticed.