Can't a Lee just be a Lee anymore?

[Tamia78]

Or is there something wrong with that? This isn't really a rant, but I'm finding myself having more conversations that go something like this.......

Random Person:"Hi"
Me:"Hi"
Random Person:"Are you a ler/lee?"
Me:"I'm strictly lee."
Random Person:"Oh, okay then"

And then I never hear from them again. What's the deal? Is it wrong for me to be a 100% lee? I just don't trust my ler-ing skills enough to actually call myself a switch. And besides that, I've experienced some GREAT ticklers, and I know I can't hold a candle to their skills!

Am I called lazy because I don't want to Ler? I don't think so. I just think any Lee that wants me as their Ler is in for a really horrible time, that's all. I love to be tickled, simply put. Can you be taught how to Ler? Just wondering.

--T

 

[isabeau]

I am strickly a lee only..i used to think that was selfish of me, but i can't change how i'm built..at one time i thought that i had ler instincts, but those were fleeting and nothing i was really interested in pursuing..There is nothing wrong with being only a lee...There are those also that are only a ler..

 

[Snail Shell]

I'll admit I don't chat with all of the wonderful people here as much as I probably should, but I don't see anything wrong with being a lee and not a switch. Granted, there are some switches who are great lers who just need a good tickling every now and again, but that doesn't mean you can't be a lee.

🙂

Snail Shell

 

[natural tickler]

No, there is nothing wrong in being just a lee. Whatever makes you happy, then you do it, as long as it makes you happy.

Yes, you can be taught to be a ler, but you have to have the desire and passion into it.

 

[BellaRisa]

Yet another reason not to talk to random intuhwebs peoples

Meanwhile, of course there's nothing wrong with just being yourself, you already know that . But there are a LOT of folks out there, especially guys, who really want someone to tickle them, and that's what they're online looking for. If they find out you won't then they don't feel the need to get to know you any further. Harsh but true, and it does save time in the long run.

Now having said that, decent 'lering takes a combination of natural skills, learned techniques, and practice. So go practice

Bella

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being strictly a lee. I don't switch very often any more myself. I've tried going that side. It's really not something that I get into that much...other than with tickle fights, which I thoroughly enjoy. Having someone tied down and at my mercy just doesn't do it for me.

I'll switch on occassion for close friends if they ask. If they really enjoy it, then it's worth it to me to give them that. My satisfaction comes in seeing them having a good time. That makes it worth it to me. But, it's because THEY enjoy it, rather than me enjoying it. Otherwise, I'm all lee.

I suspect that what you're seeing is an increase in male lees looking for women to tickle them. As with us, the fact that one party wants to play doesn't mean that the other has to do so. I wouldn't get too concerned about it.

 

[ChosenofMystra]

Absopositivilutely NOTHING wrong with just being a 'lee Tamia. You are who you are and nothing will change that. Don't let the weirdos with obviously extremely poor social skills who say otherwise get ya down! As long as you are happy with yourself than nothing else should matter 🙂 Never try to change for anyone just because they don't like/care for it. Always stay true to yourself.

 

[Tamia78]

You guys are freakin' awesome!

I guess it's not really getting me down, but it's a little disheartening for someone to just STOP a conversation like that. Who knows? I might be able to introduce them to a ler. Lately it just seems like it's okay for Lers to be "strictly a Ler", nobody even bats an eye. But I get all kinds of people saying, "Really? You mean you wouldn't even like to TRY ler-ing?" , like they're trying to convince me to do it, and then get mad when I am just not interested. *sigh*

Do LERS ever experience someone trying to convince them to try being a lee?

--T

 

[Pokey]

Hello my sweet friend. Yes, folks always seem to want you to be/do something you aren't or can't be or do. You most of all are a wonderful sweet lady that is special in-so-far as I know. You be you, have fun, and when the chance presents itself, I shall enjoy you being you, and, hmmm, can't wait for that, lol.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

There's nothing wrong with standing true to your preference on the chat. From what I've seen a lot of guys in the chat just want to cyber with any girl that matches up with their preference. You can usually identify them by their blank profiles and default chat icon. Not to mention they streamline the user list asking every girl "can I pc you?" What a depressing place....


Keep in mind if you were in a relationship with a switch you should be willing to ler every once in a while. With love comes compromise and all that shizzle.

 

[David.s]

Pretty bizarre that virtual strangers feel they have the right to try and change someone's tickling preferences. For something potentially so intimately tied up with a person's sexuality, it's pretty much as bad as randomly trying to persuade someone to try out being gay.

I imagine lers don't get pressured into being lees so much - some lers, just like plenty of regular people, will absolutely hate the sensation of being tickled, and if that's the case there's obviously never going to really be any room for manoeuvre, while conversely it's not really any skin off a lee's back to give someone else a few pokes and prods, even if they don't get any actual enjoyment out of it. Although that’s obviously ignoring the reams of psychological baggage many lees will have concerning not wanting to be the dominate one, ever, so that's not exactly a valid analysis. In any case it really doesn't matter: you like what you like, nobody important cares, and there's no need to change.

That said, barely a year or so ago I'd have found the thought of leeing incredibly weird and even unpleasant, but now I'm totally up for it - though I'm still way more of a ler at heart - so I guess people can change their minds on these things. Certainly wasn't the result of being persuaded by anyone though, just a random development in my own mental life.

 

[BellaRisa]

Do LERS ever experience someone trying to convince them to try being a lee?

--T

Oh hon, you don't wanna KNOW how often female 'Lers who let the free world know they 'ler *only* have to tell male 'lers that they aren't interested in switching. Over and over and over. A lot of people think that every woman has a 'lee in her just dying to get out, and if you just say the right thing/press the right button she'll suddenly smile sweetly and put her wrists up for the cuffs . Some folks simply cannot fathom a truly dominant lady.

I know that males can have this issue as well, just not quite as often. And, um...I've been known to try a little too hard to convince my 'Ler to switch for me, just for the reaction it always gets

Bella

 

[jaba]

play the way you prefer.......

Do LERS ever experience someone trying to convince them to try being a lee?

--T

Oh, all the time, T.....at least for me....many ladies more and more are requesting switch tickle play....

I just politely let it be known that I don't lee, under any circumstances, and if that ends the prospects for tickleplay with that person, so be it.....its just tickling....we can still be friends with other interests....

But I do usually offer to have a female ticklee friend join the play if my ladyfriend really wants to tickle someone, and it has suprised me how many ladies have agreed to that arrangement.......that has proven to me that some ladies love to tickle other ladies, and they love lady laughter as much as we guys do....

Don't change, Tamia....you don't want me to call you a "horrible tickler", do you?.......😱


Ladies tell me there are enough of them around already......

 

[Excess]

Ok, I know I'm the odd one out here, but this thread really grabbed my attention because I can very much relate to it.

*WARNING, RANT. Ignore if you don't care.*

First of all, no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being strictly a lee. Period. Anyone that tells you otherwise just needs to get a reality check. Now I've, in the last few months, seen two specific examples of something similar to what you're talking about.

I have a friend who is also pretty much 100% lee. She just enjoys to be a lee, and not really interested in lering. However, I've seen multiple guys bothering her about lering them, and going on and on about how "great a ler she could be", even though she's told them she's just not into it. Of course I said something, and got into it a bit with some and such, but it has pretty much stopped now as far as I know.

Now, why she was being harrassed about lering, to me, was pretty simple. These guys were desperate to have someone tickle them, to the point of converting a lee. Now in the last year or so, I've noticed a steady increase in male lees (or malees, as I call them. Yes, I have combined each type for no reason other than laziness. 😛) growing. I dunno if this is just me, but it has certainly become much more noticable to me, to the point where I'd say that f/m is becoming as popular as, if not moreso than, m/f. Dunno why this is, but it atleast seems to be.

But what I'm getting to is that malees are becoming more prominant, and naturally, as most are straight, want female lers (femlers). Well, I'm not sure how much femlers are becoming more prominant these days, but apparently not quite as much as malees. Thus, with malees not being lered as much, and therefor, some become rather desperate, hence why you here of them forcing themselves, if you will, into situations just to lose more often (again, that's how it seems lately). So now we get to you, being a lee, getting snubbed for not being a ler, since that's what malees want (and hey, atleast he didn't try to convert you 😛).

Now one more thing. You say that "it just seems like it's okay for Lers to be "strictly a Ler", nobody even bats an eye.", I can disagree, from personal experiance. I'm a ler. Now, whether I ever could lee or not, to be honest, I don't really know, but even then I know I'd still primarily want to be a ler. However, I've been told, on multiple occasions, that I should lee more often. Apparently, me being a ler just isn't enough, for whatever reason I don't know. Of course, I'm gonna stick my guns being the type of person I am, but it does get annoying, so I can understand why you'd be annoyed as not being excepted for what you want to be as well.

*END RANT*

Well, my rant's over now, so go on about your everyday business folks.

 

[daryl]

Nope, no problem at all. We all love our own side of things. Strictly ler here. Doens't make me a bad person, just not complimentary with everyone's tastes 🙂

 

[SlaverTickler]

All I ever called you was...

Tamia the only thing I've ever called you is "Sexy as Can Be", well other then calling you by your name.

 

[Tamia78]

Oh hon, you don't wanna KNOW how often female 'Lers who let the free world know they 'ler *only* have to tell male 'lers that they aren't interested in switching. Over and over and over. A lot of people think that every woman has a 'lee in her just dying to get out, and if you just say the right thing/press the right button she'll suddenly smile sweetly and put her wrists up for the cuffs . Some folks simply cannot fathom a truly dominant lady.

I know that males can have this issue as well, just not quite as often. And, um...I've been known to try a little too hard to convince my 'Ler to switch for me, just for the reaction it always gets

Bella

Hah, Bella! Try a little TOO hard, eh? I can only imagine what your evil little mind can conjure up, lol.

Well, I guess to each his/her own, and I think Ann said it...if there were really good friends, of course I would want to make them happy and Ler for them.....then they could give me pointers...lol.

And Jaba......there ARE horrible ticklers running around......I just haven't experienced many recently!

 

[steph]

Hi Tam!

I think a lot of it has to do with the delivery. Remember, people can't see the your expression or hear your voice online so if someone writes, "I'm JUST a lee, sorry." It CAN come off as sounding snotty and selfish. It reads as "you're only here to please me" and therefore "I'm a self-absorbed bitch."

Now, as someone who's MOSTLY lee I've had fun "getting" some strictly dom friends every once in awhile. I think bella's right~a lot of guys just really want to experience our side of it, even if it's only for a little while. It really can be fun, at least be willing to try it on occasion and see what happens...
XOXO

 

[MasterTT]

First of all, I am strictly a ler. I am 100% dominant, the only time I have ever done anything remotely like submission it was to test things so I would understand them before using them on a submissive. I think it has to do with your nature. So I clearly think there is nothing wrong with being all the way on one side or another.

Also don't ever ever ever let yourself feel bad about yourself because of the way people online behave. There are some good people online, but it is the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to social skills. Because of anonymity as well as things like just having to click a button to end a conversation people are rude to scales that even most rude people never approach in 'real life'. I mean there's nothing wrong with being a guy in my book, but I've had people ask me that and then stop talking to me... I've seen people talking to a girl like she was the hottest thing since the sun until she mention she had a boyfriend/husband/child, and poof there gone. In real life even the rude people tend to pretend a little (not always) but online there given the ability to think of only themselves, and other people they deal with only like characters in a video game, you interact with them but they are not really there, not real people. I don't think your missing anything by not talking to such people. I love the Internet for what it is, but the degree that it allows people to separate themselves from what they do or say and the ability to completely dehumanize people should remind all of us to be somewhat careful when engaging in social interactions online.

 

[Tamia78]

Hi Tam!

I think a lot of it has to do with the delivery. Remember, people can't see the your expression or hear your voice online so if someone writes, "I'm JUST a lee, sorry." It CAN come off as sounding snotty and selfish. It reads as "you're only here to please me" and therefore "I'm a self-absorbed bitch."

Now, as someone who's MOSTLY lee I've had fun "getting" some strictly dom friends every once in awhile. I think bella's right~a lot of guys just really want to experience our side of it, even if it's only for a little while. It really can be fun, at least be willing to try it on occasion and see what happens...
XOXO

But Steph.........I AM a self-absorbed bitch!!
I'm kidding, of course, but I do see your point.

 

[steph]

hee hee cutie! (aren't we all...) 😉
XOXO

But Steph.........I AM a self-absorbed bitch!!
I'm kidding, of course, but I do see your point.

 

[SlaverTickler]

hee hee cutie! (aren't we all...) 😉
XOXO

Yes, but we love you anyways.

 

[inthenameoffun2]

In real life even the rude people tend to pretend a little (not always) but online there given the ability to think of only themselves, and other people they deal with only like characters in a video game, you interact with them but they are not really there, not real people.

Well said.
Tamia, I see no problem with you being only a lee and wanting to be only a lee because that is who you are and what you want to be. The above quote from MasterTT somes it up in many ways, not just as a lee, but for a ler too. Many times I have send out a PM and there are times that I get a reply and other times, nothing. The ones I do get, I have to be honest, start out nice, yet I am told in the conversation that they like the idea that this username is both a husband and wife one, and then the next thing you know, they are not longer interested and do not want to talk anymore. Why?? Because I say that my wife is a "lee", and someday would like to give the ler side a try, but I myself an only a "ler" due to not really being that ticklish and would not be fun for anyone trying to be a ler with me being the lee. After a while, I will send out another Pm to them and get nothing back but there they are posting away in replied or starting a post themself. But I Have to be honest I have had a few replies back, saying, do not want to chat and no more PM's, yet I only send out 2 at the most, lol.
My point being, you are who you are and you being honest about that is all that matters. You are repsected by many here and as long as you have that, then hey, just enjoy knowing that you have freinds here. Thoses that do not want to continue chatting with you, are themself not really being honest in the first place about what they really wanting to chat about.
I hope this made sence and sorry for the rant.

 

[kered]

Or is there something wrong with that? This isn't really a rant, but I'm finding myself having more conversations that go something like this.......

Random Person:"Hi"
Me:"Hi"
Random Person:"Are you a ler/lee?"
Me:"I'm strictly lee."
Random Person:"Oh, okay then"

And then I never hear from them again. What's the deal? Is it wrong for me to be a 100% lee? I just don't trust my ler-ing skills enough to actually call myself a switch. And besides that, I've experienced some GREAT ticklers, and I know I can't hold a candle to their skills!

Am I called lazy because I don't want to Ler? I don't think so. I just think any Lee that wants me as their Ler is in for a really horrible time, that's all. I love to be tickled, simply put. Can you be taught how to Ler? Just wondering.

--T

You are not lazy just because you prefer to be a ler. It is simply your preference. It is a pity some people set you aside just for that reason and they are missing out on something special. I am just happy that you are so sweet and will take the time to talk about things other than tickling when the opportunity arises.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Women can be a pain too...

This thing about guys in the chat room is crap too. You always hear woman complaining about guys PMing them with out asking (and to some that is rude) however there are plenty of women who have PMed me with out asking too. It doesn't bother me when they do this, it bothers me that women freak out over guys doing it like it never happens to us. I don't know what this has to do with this topic either.. oh yeah the rudeness. People just need to consider how they would feel before they do things. Before you say something to someone consider if it would hurt you feeling, and then don't say it if it would. So much grief in the world and through out history would never have happened if people had just done that.