Despising Someone So Much.. You Can't Even Say Their Name..

[Backstep]

My mother was abused by her mother throughout her childhood, both physically and verbally. My grandmother had a boyfriend that tried to rape my mother and after he got chased out, my grandmother blamed her as if she tried to seduce him (while she was a pre-teen). She is still an alcoholic and still calls my mother up to berate her for lousy children who moved away and/or don't want to accept the bribery for her love that she gives. She suggested that a family member kill herself when diagnosed with cancer.

I felt sorry for her in a sense when my grandfather died (she got married to him when my mom was a teenager), but since I reached adulthood and have come to see her for what she is, I can't refer to her as 'Grandmom' like when I was little and I refuse to expose myself to her verbal poison over the phone. I usually don't bring her up in conversation, though if my family does I just ask politely what happened.

For whatever diplomacy and nominal respect I show in front of her or my family, My grandmother has been 'That Woman' in my mind for several years. I'm determined to let it go, but it's hard to forgive her since she seems so determined to say or do things that keep my family's anger alive against her. Perahaps her eventual death will change things; at least I hope so. She's the only person I feel that way about. I'm working on it.

 

[Mitchell]

Finally, an intelligent reply in this thread!

Backstep, I'm sorry to hear about how your grandmother treated your mother.

For the record, when I'm on decent terms with my father, which is rarely, I will call him "Dad", and refer to him as "Dad" in e-mails. Other times, I will write to him addressing him as "Alan" or nothing at all, and just begin with whatever I have to say to him.

To all the geniuses in this thread who attacked me: Tell you what: When your mother is stricken with cancer, as mine has been, and when your father calls you up, soliciting information from you about your mother's condition, because he's hoping for her to die, so he can be financially advantaged, when her alimony check reverts back to her, and when he puts in writing, unsolicited, to his 40 year old son, who he knows he fucked over, that if "Something happens to your mother, I will take care of you", THEN you all have a right to judge me. An attorney, with more brains in his pinkie, than most people who attacked me in this thread, have in their heads, told me that might well be a legal admission of guilt, and admissable in court, to make him have to fund my mom's estate, if she dies.

For the record, I dont want his money. I just want him to honor his obligations and promises to my mom, and him out of my life. My mom is the one who is furious with him. I'm to the point now, where I dont give a shit anymore.

I am truly convinced that some people just frequent this forum to attack others. That is their sole purpose in being here. Truly sad. It's also truly sad that at such a time in my life, after I've been repeatedly attacked by the same Troll time and time again for a year, that nothing is done about him. Both that person, and the mods, know who I'm referring to.

Yeah, I live with my mother, Banshee, partially due to circumstance, and also to take care of her. I consider myself a gentleman though, in my dealing with the world. Tell you what, I'd rather be a 40 year old gentleman who lives with his mother, then to go through life as the type of person you are, an attacking troll, with only negativity to contribute on a tickling forum.

Mitch

 

[Speedbump]

Finally, an intelligent reply in this thread!

Just a heads up. Just because you don't approve of a post in a thread, doesn't mean it's not an intelligent post.

If it wasn't intelligent, it would just be a bunch of gibberish and maybe a banana icon.


duurrrr ah buubklllllll ah yea? is... uh...

 

[Fire_Sprite]

Just a heads up. Just because you don't approve of a post in a thread, doesn't mean it's not an intelligent post.

Unless he's talking about the two I made.

 

[Mitchell]

Yeah, Speedbump, it's really intelligent to post attacking garbage repeatedly.

The people on this forum are very lucky that they dont frequent the two other forums I belong to, which I will not name. There, no crap such as most of what was posted in this thread is tolerated. Banshee, et al would all have been gone, long ago. They want their members to treat others with respect, which is something that apparently isn't a priority here. I've seen people banned from those forums for the most minor of infractions.

I guess this forum has to have a certain quota of a troll population.

Mitch

 

[Korastus]

Not to mention I haven't seen anyone name names once, regardless of what I or anyone else said. Stop acting like a victim just because you don't like our opinions. You posted the question on an open forum; you aren't going to like all of the responses.

 

[Mitchell]

Also, for the record, I had a friend, who isnt a forum member, visit the forum just as a guest, and they viewed the posts in this thread. This person, who is extremely objective, and would be completely honest with me, if they thought I was misjudging some of the replies in this thread as personal attacks, went through every post in this thread, and told me that the ones I questioned as personal attacks, were, indeed, in their opinion, personal attacks.

Whatever: Finish the thread. Attack. Attack. Attack. I know that some people come here for the sole purpose of doing so.

Mitch

 

[Fire_Sprite]

Also, for the record, I had a friend, who isnt a forum member, visit the forum just as a guest, and they viewed the posts in this thread. This person, who is extremely objective, and would be completely honest with me, if they thought I was misjudging some of the replies in this thread as personal attacks, went through every post in this thread, and told me that the ones I questioned as personal attacks, were, indeed, in their opinion, personal attacks.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!


Oh Mitch, never change.

 

[Mitchell]

No, because they are coyly not posting names.

I'm not acting like a "victim". I just dont appreciate degenerate attacks, is all.

Mitch

 

[Speedbump]

Yeah, Speedbump, it's really intelligent to post attacking garbage repeatedly.

The people on this forum are very lucky that they dont frequent the two other forums I belong to, which I will not name. There, no crap such as most of what was posted in this thread is tolerated. Banshee, et al would all have been gone, long ago. They want their members to treat others with respect, which is something that apparently isn't a priority here. I've seen people banned from those forums for the most minor of infractions.

I guess this forum has to have a certain quota of a troll population.

Mitch

The funny thing is, there are extremes. I've gotten warned and temp-banned on here for certain things, so the mods are definitely doing a fine enough job. But what you're talking about is extreme. Banning someone for 'the most minor of infractions' would make people more uncomfortable and unable to completely be themselves.

Gotta have a balance. Some posts, such as Banshee's are a little more to the point, and not exactly called for some of the time. But every now and then that kind of response is necessary.

I laughed my ass off at the posts where people joked around, and you did get some serious ones as well. Just gotta go with it and not take everything so seriously.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

My post was joking around, but I have a feeling that until a mod logs on this thread's days are numbered.

 

[april]

Naw, except for....aw hell Ill just say it since evrybody ealse is so chicken shit...VOLDEMORT!!!

 

[GQguy]

Hmmm. How much more objective can one get than on an online anonymous forum where you wouldn't know eve from adam? Whenever I see your post I actually censor myself to ensure that you don't get upset and to keep the peace. I hate drama. I objectively haven't seen any attacks on here.

It's cool to vent on an online forum..and it can be theraputic in a way. Airing out your problems to a group of random people can be good in that they are completely objective because they don't know you. They will see things objectively while those that do know you see things subjectively and will hide the truth because it is convenient(not wanting to upset).

I think not bringing out your personal life will help in alleviating the drama you experience here. Don't ask for opinions if you're not ready to take them. Opening a thread based on your personal life IS asking for opinions.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, it figures you would see it that way, because you arent the one being scorned in this thread.

For the record, this whole situation goes back to something that happened last year. My father sent me a bday gift in 2009, as he always does. I took it, because I needed the money, as it was a very large check. My reply to him was "Thank you for thinking of me once a year". His reply to me was "I think of you all the time, I want to meet you in Philadelphia". After resisting for six months, I agreed to it. I saw him for a year, at which point he turned his back on me, at the time my mother was going through cancer testing. I apologize if such bothers me. I am a human being, with human feelings.

I guess I'm most angry with myself, for trusting him, when he has such a long, destructive history with me. Unfortunately, I dont learn my lessons, much the way I havent with this forum.

When I'm ready, I will leave the forum. Unfortunately, this place is like an addiction to me. Not to mention that I do have a few friends on here whom I value. I have a few things to settle in my own life, then I will go, and everyone can all go bang on someone else.

Also, for the record, to those who attacked me. If one of you posted a thread like this, instead of the attacks I received, my reply would be something like "I'm sorry this person did whatever it was to you, to cause you to feel this way. That must be very difficult". End of story, without all the other bullshit that was posted.

I sometimes make bad decisions, and leave myself open to attack. This is one of them. Next time, I'll know I have two options. Say nothing, and give no fuel. Post something, its an invitation to attack.

Mitch

Also, it's not a question of not "liking" what was said. I think that most would agree that calling someone "Childish" "Babyish", and "Whining", all of which was said about me by various people in this thread ARE in fact, personal attacks. Unfortunately, such is allowed, apparently.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Well, I thought my reply was intelligent, and it didn't contain any attacks.

I answered the question posed in the original post, though. I guess if it's not the "right" answer, it's an attack and I'm a troll?

 

[april]

GQ, it figures you would see it that way, because you arent the one being scorned in this thread.

For the record, this whole shit goes back to something that happened last year. My father sent me a bday gift in 2009, as he always does. I took it, because I needed the money, as it was a very large check. My reply to him was "Thank you for thinking of me once a year". His reply to me was "I think of you all the time, I want to meet you in Philadelphia". After resisting for six months, I agreed to it. I saw him for a year, at which point he turned his back on me, at the time my mother was going through cancer testing. I apologize if such bothers me. I am a human being, with human feelings.

I guess I'm most angry with myself, for trusting him, when he has such a long, destructive history with me. Unfortunately, I dont learn my lessons, much the way I havent with this forum.

When I'm ready, I will leave the forum. Unfortunately, this place is like an addiction to me. Not to mention that I do have a few friends on here whom I value. I have a few things to settle in my own life, then I will go, and everyone can all go bang on someone else.

Also, for the record, to those who attacked me. If one of you posted a thread like this, instead of the attacks I received, my reply would be something like "I'm sorry this person did whatever it was to you, to cause you to feel this way. That must be very difficult". End of story, without all the other bullshit that was posted.

I sometimes make bad decisions, and leave myself open to attack. This is one of them. Next time, I'll know I have two options. Say nothing, and give no fuel. Post something, its an invitation to attack.

Mitch

Also, it's not a question of not "liking" what was said. I think that most would agree that calling someone "Childish" "Babyish", and "Whining", all of which was said about me by various people in this thread ARE in fact, personal attacks. Unfortunately, such is allowed, apparently.

Dude, Im seriously sorry you went through that crap. I had no idea and meant no disrespect with my post, just thought id make someone laugh, even you perhaps. Objectively, I didnt see any personal attacks in this thread, just a little banter. I wish the best of luck to you though. Peace.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

Also, for the record, to those who attacked me. If one of you posted a thread like this, instead of the attacks I received, my reply would be something like "I'm sorry this person did whatever it was to you, to cause you to feel this way. That must be very difficult".

Well I guess that explains your reaction then. Everyone else read this thread as you asking for their opinions about a particular kind of behavior. But apparently it really was just about getting sympathy.

Nobody in this thread spoke about you personally until you claimed otherwise.

Everyone said passively aggressively not naming someone was childish because it is. The fact that you had already admitted to doing it is irrelevant. Nobody's ganging up on you or actively seeking you out to troll you.

 

[Mitchell]

april, I know you didnt mean disrespect. Your post didnt bother me, although I disagree with you that there were no personal attacks in this thread.

Fire Sprite, I wasnt seeking to get sympathy. I was venting, about a very difficult situation in my life, that I am still dealing with, because of my mom's cancer.

As for not naming someone, and nobody ganging up on me, lets agree to disagree about that. I feel like it was a gang up.

Mitch

 

[Korastus]

For my part, I have zero interest in what you do or do not do. I don't know you, know next to nothing about you, and have never followed your various threads detailing your personal troubles. Fact is, I can't attack you personally, because I know almost nothing of you. I answered a question about a particular kind of behavior, and I stand by my answer, though I will elaborate a bit.

Such behavior is the domain of the childish and immature because it is short sighted and counterproductive. A name only has as much power as you allow it. By allowing the mere utterance of a name, such a small and meaningless act, to cause you such dissonance, you have granted the offending party all the power they need to hurt you again, should they so desire to force their way into your life again, and let's be honest; some interaction can be unavoidable, whether we want it to be or not. So, this behavior only hurts one person: yourself.

 

[texastickler]

I have never held a grudge. I simply can't do it.

 

[storm7400]

Finally, an intelligent reply in this thread!

Backstep, I'm sorry to hear about how your grandmother treated your mother.

For the record, when I'm on decent terms with my father, which is rarely, I will call him "Dad", and refer to him as "Dad" in e-mails. Other times, I will write to him addressing him as "Alan" or nothing at all, and just begin with whatever I have to say to him.

To all the geniuses in this thread who attacked me: Tell you what: When your mother is stricken with cancer, as mine has been, and when your father calls you up, soliciting information from you about your mother's condition, because he's hoping for her to die, so he can be financially advantaged, when her alimony check reverts back to her, and when he puts in writing, unsolicited, to his 40 year old son, who he knows he fucked over, that if "Something happens to your mother, I will take care of you", THEN you all have a right to judge me. An attorney, with more brains in his pinkie, than most people who attacked me in this thread, have in their heads, told me that might well be a legal admission of guilt, and admissable in court, to make him have to fund my mom's estate, if she dies.

For the record, I dont want his money. I just want him to honor his obligations and promises to my mom, and him out of my life. My mom is the one who is furious with him. I'm to the point now, where I dont give a shit anymore.

I am truly convinced that some people just frequent this forum to attack others. That is their sole purpose in being here. Truly sad. It's also truly sad that at such a time in my life, after I've been repeatedly attacked by the same Troll time and time again for a year, that nothing is done about him. Both that person, and the mods, know who I'm referring to.

Yeah, I live with my mother, Banshee, partially due to circumstance, and also to take care of her. I consider myself a gentleman though, in my dealing with the world. Tell you what, I'd rather be a 40 year old gentleman who lives with his mother, then to go through life as the type of person you are, an attacking troll, with only negativity to contribute on a tickling forum.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Korastatus, you are clearly admitting, that you know "next to nothing about me". Yet, are judging my behavior toward the worst person I know.

So, let me get this straight: If someone is estranged from a relative, ex spouse, etc, and they dont want to talk about them, that is childish? I beg to differ. Such rational is actually very intelligent. They are trying to purge themselves, of that person. Fact is: The ONLY reason I talk about my father, is because of his ongoing legal obligation to my mom. Was it not for that, I told her clearly, he doesn't exist for me.

I notice storm highlighted my "An attorney, with more brains in his pinkie, then some in this thread have in their heads". Did I hurt your little feelings? I'm sooo sorry. For as many times as you've posted attacks against me over the years, my one sharp comment, to your dozens... seems like hardly anything to fret about.

Also, for the record: That comment was directed at many of the attacks in this thread, by several people, and not just one attack, by one person.

Mitch

 

[Korastus]

You are not paying attention. I'm not judging you. I couldn't care less about what you do. What I DID do was answer a question posed to the whole forum, with total honesty. There was no target for either of my initial posts. I found the question interesting, and so I answered it. You, feeling victimized by posts that did not approve of the behavior about which you inquired, applied additional context that simply was not there. I'm sorry for your troubles, but frankly, if you don't want opinions like mine, you should either not phrase such an open question, or keep it to your blog.

 

[storm7400]

Korastatus, you are clearly admitting, that you know "next to nothing about me". Yet, are judging my behavior toward the worst person I know.

So, let me get this straight: If someone is estranged from a relative, ex spouse, etc, and they dont want to talk about them, that is childish? I beg to differ. Such rational is actually very intelligent. They are trying to purge themselves, of that person. Fact is: The ONLY reason I talk about my father, is because of his ongoing legal obligation to my mom. Was it not for that, I told her clearly, he doesn't exist for me.

I notice storm highlighted my "An attorney, with more brains in his pinkie, then some in this thread have in their heads". Did I hurt your little feelings? I'm sooo sorry. For as many times as you've posted attacks against me over the years, my one sharp comment, to your dozens... seems like hardly anything to fret about.

Also, for the record: That comment was directed at many of the attacks in this thread, by several people, and not just one attack, by one person.

Mitch

Nope because for you to hurt my feelings I would have to care what you said and frankly hate to break this to you Mitch but you don't matter that much to me and probably most on this forum.


I posted the picture because it illustrated that comment that you made, made me laugh and frankly was kinda of a juvenile comment in the form of a hissy fit so I figured giving others the potential to laugh was merited.

 

[tequila!]

Fact is: The ONLY reason I talk about my father, is because of his ongoing legal obligation to my mom. Was it not for that, I told her clearly, he doesn't exist for me.

He obviously does, judging by the weekly threads on here about him. Blog everything that contains the word "father" like you said you would, and people who actually care and want to give you support will be the only ones to subscribe to it and reply, instead of EVERYONE replying to these hourly self-bumped threads that EVERYONE sees on the front page of General Discussion.