Do you need to be in a relationship?

[-Hari-]

Ive been thru a lot more than ide hope to have gone thru by 23, ive felt alot deeper than I feel I was ready for and ive devoted myself to things that on reflection were maybe abit premature.

That said I have learnt alot of important things. Things that I sometimes wish I was yet to learn, but one thing I have been glad to learn early is that ive never been happier than when I was truely in love, and since that day, what I want and what im content with changed.

I get by fine without a romantic partner, Im my own person and im independant, I dont need anyone, but I do want somebody. Im not out looking for it but I am looking forward to the day that I finally meet another person that I can fall in love with.

I dont believe anyone needs a relationship, in fact ide go as far as to say its unhealthy TO need a relationship, in fact I think needing it would ruin it if you had it! But I think most of us want a relationship.

 

[Artoo]

Short answer, no.

I don't think I've ever actively looked for a relationship.
Firstly because I've usually got such low self esteem that I don't think it's worth the effort getting shot down all the time.
Secondly because I'm comfortable with my singleness, and I'm not put under any pressure by anyone to go looking for a partner. A lot of my friends are in long term relationships, but when I go to the pub with my mates, they don't always bring their other halves, as we're usually having a bit of a "guys night out". So the stuff I'm missing out on isn't really rubbed in my face all that often.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Amnesiac and I are much in agreement. I've never been in a relationship and never sought one. I've never dated, I skipped every prom or dance I came across, and aside from folks on the TMF and TT in recent years, never had a close friend. I haven't known any other life and doubt I could handle the relationship game. I may not be as old as Mr. Amnesiac, but I suspect I, like him, have been alone too long for anyone to bother with. A singular curmudgeon I shall remain, it seems.

 

[Tortuga]

So how about you? Do you need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy? What's the longest relationship you've had? What's the longest time you've been single? What's your take on this whole thing?

I like being in relationships but I don't need to always be in a relationship to be happy. I know I have that title of being the TMF heartbreaker, because I went from Pete to John quickly and then it didn't end very well. But the way I am is if I don't see it working out or getting anywhere then I'm going to leave. I don't have time to wait. Most of the time with me relationships just happen, you get to know someone and then you start saying "luv ya" and then slowly it turns to "love you". But I don't need something romantic to keep my happiness going, that's why I have friends. The longest relationship I have had is 2 years. The longest I've been single is 3.5 years.

 

[rhiannon]

I'm married for seven years now. Before that, I didn't need a relationship as long as I got sex on a regular basis, and that was never really a problem when I really wanted it.

 

[DimpleToes]

I have been married for 20 yrs yet am free to do what I want and I allow him to do as he pleases. The best thing about beeing with someone is not worring about sexual issues/diseass esp after 20 yrs and not sleeping alone at night.. I still hate the dark and whne he is not home I wont go to bed.. will stay on the couch.

 

[love feet]

relationship's are so overrated at lest the classic type
For me its just that i have to many thongs that have happened to me so .I only have friends .
if they get any closer than that it blows up so it has become to painful for me to have more than friends because i am so scrod up inside!!!!!!!.
PS i have also seen so much loss in my 25 years to the point i assume i am going to lose people!!!

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Marriage is not for everyone. I managed to get very, very lucky with this one- it's worked out very, very well, for us. I might not have matched up as well with someone else.

I've been single. I've been lonely. I know what loneliness is- it can be a kind of disease. Loneliness is unhealthy. If I'm not in a relationship, I'm lonely. Sometimes I'm lonely even in the best relationships, but that's a story for another day. I'd much rather be in a situation where I'm sharing my life with someone.

 

[Korastus]

Femarmageddon?

Estrogenocide?

Ovaragnarok?

Crisisterhood?

Am I close?

Snail Shell

In fact, you could probably apply one of these words to each of my relationships, barring my most recent one, and it would be pretty much dead on. XD

 

[kered]

I have been single for longer than most of the others posting here have been alive. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The lady I loved passed away a long time and I do miss her, but I am not lonely. I merely chose to live alone.

 

[Bugman]

I have been single for longer than most of the others posting here have been alive. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.I merely chose to live alone.

This.For the most part it works for me.🙂

Note:I did edit this quote.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Considering Dan is my first everything, I have never been in a relationship before him so I don't really have any comparisons. I do know that I am happier with him than I was single.

I don't think I need to be in a relationship. I was happy as single lady and I am happy with my boyfriend. Whatever happens, happens. Dan happened and I'm very happy to be with him.

 

[lilone4sir]

Well this is ironic... lol

While I don't NEED a relationship I do know that my headspace is much better when framed in the context of one (traditional or non-traditional of a relationship as it is). I like knowing I have someone on my side who will play the witty banter, cat and mouse game of a relationship when need be. Someone who'll just cuddle me when I cry or laugh with me because something is just too damn funny. I appreciate the intimacy and chance to fully open myself in a relationship. Something I don't find I can get from friends alone...

Now that said... am I worse off when not in a relationship? Yep. I do sometimes feel that way. I'm an emotionally adapted person. I tend to get close to people fast or not at all. I call it my own personal circle of trust so to speak. It gets my poor wounded heart hurt a lot but quite frankly... feels more natural to me than never getting hurt because I didn't open it in the first place.

 

[Capnmad]

My need for solitude, quiet contemplation, and occasional long bouts with pencil, eraser and desk, do not lend themselves well to long term relationships, I've found. The image of a hairy beast hunched over a table drawing stuff doesn't exactly cut the dashing figure most ladies have in mind, I wager.

But then, I'm pretty cool with that, because I feel a lot of people get into relationships because they've yet to get to know themselves, are uncomfortable with being alone and getting acquainted with themselves, or feel the need to have someone else there to distract them from that sometimes fearful prospect.

I'd hardly suggest all relationships are like that, or even most, but too many I've been witness to have had some aspect of that, in my opinion.

If I were to get into an LTR now, it would have to be with someone who's gotten herself pretty figured out, and doesn't need to be with me, has no external pressures demanding she be with me, but we find being together works, and a spark keeps us together.

 

[Adam]

Need to? No. Like to be? Sure. But as I tell everyone in my close circle of friends, I want to take care of a few things about me first. Personally, financially... all that jazz, so that I feel like I have something to offer other than affection.

 

[ZenTickling]

Nope. Happiness comes from within.

 

[Bohemianne]

Just to relate creatively - 😉

My need for solitude, quiet contemplation, and occasional long bouts with pencil, eraser and desk, do not lend themselves well to long term relationships, I've found. The image of a hairy beast hunched over a table drawing stuff doesn't exactly cut the dashing figure most ladies have in mind, I wager.

Hah... My signs and symptoms - lol - minus the other hairs but too long crown. You bet one can tolerate the bad temper.

But then, I'm pretty cool with that, because I feel a lot of people get into relationships because they've yet to get to know themselves, are uncomfortable with being alone and getting acquainted with themselves, or feel the need to have someone else there to distract them from that sometimes fearful prospect.

At times it's really hard to raise another grown-up; and also hard to resist late midnight "legit" distractions while I am still consummating my love affair with the drawing table...😀

I'd hardly suggest all relationships are like that, or even most, but too many I've been witness to have had some aspect of that, in my opinion.

If I were to get into an LTR now, it would have to be with someone who's gotten herself pretty figured out, and doesn't need to be with me, has no external pressures demanding she be with me, but we find being together works, and a spark keeps us together.

Just making sure the other one is informed that you are first married to despicable objects (say sables, fretboard & etc) and that he /she is just 2nd would be sufficient. Practice makes perfect.

 

[Excess]

Considering that I hadn't ever even really been in one until this year, I'm gonna say no. I will say that it brings a feeling of more confidence in interactions with the opposite sex though. That is probably because you no longer feel a fear of being rejected as much because you aren't really losing anything. So in a way it can help to be, since it can open you up to interacting more confidently with others. But definitely not something I really NEED.

 

[alchemy]

Hmm

No, I don't need relationships. I'm just fine on my own, thank you. I've been a bit of a loner since I was a kid, and now as an adult, I remain to be so.

Granted, I do enjoy being with another person and being on your own all the time does tend to get lonely.

I've found relationships (or the pursuit of them) to be a heart-wrenchingly irritating experience.

I don't do drama. I don't do games.

I don't demand a lot from a relationship either. All I want is to find somebody who loves me as much as I love them. Period.

Apparently, as my past (both recent and otherwise) shows, this is nearly impossible to find.

My current view of relationships boils down to this:

A relationship is like a ticking time bomb in a gift box with a shiny bow. It's looks nice on the outside and seems like something you could very well see yourself having, if not for the bomb inside. Also, you're pretty sure that's it's going to go off at some point, but you're not quite sure when that will be. Sometimes it's sooner, and sometimes it's later...allowing you a bit of time to believe that "Maybe THIS one WON'T blow up like all the others".

Fuck relationships.

It's like, how many times can you hand your fucking heart to somebody and then get it back a bit worse for wear before you finally say no more?

Anyway, thanks. I'm fine on my own.

 

[Fangz]

I don't always but I wish I was in one now.

 

[Tortuga]

It's like, how many times can you hand your fucking heart to somebody and then get it back a bit worse for wear before you finally say no more?

Sometimes it's not their's to keep in the first place.

 

[Flatfoot]

Not to sound crazy for saying this, since I AM married, and all, but I don't need another person to achieve happiness. I don't believe anyone truly "needs" someone to be happy, and for a person to put that type of pressure upon another person is... umm... I dunno, for lack of a better term at the moment, cruel? To tell a person that your happiness is completely dependent upon them is giving them too much control over your life--control they may not want. I'm happily married, but my happiness is not completely based upon my wife. She is one facet (a very BIG facet, though!) among many that contribute to my happiness. Anyone doubting this should look up Maszlo's (sp?) hierarchy of needs and take that idea into consideration.

 

[MrMacphisto]

I don't need to be in a relationship, but I do occasionally need sex.

 

[BellaRisa]

Do you need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy? What's the longest relationship you've had? What's the longest time you've been single? What's your take on this whole thing?

Very interesting questions . I've been in a relationship since 1992, married since '93; I was a wife before I could even buy alcohol and I honestly can't remember being single, at this point I can't even imagine life without my partners. I was a loner as a child and a young teen, and if I'd stayed single I imagine I'd have been fine and fulfilled with other sources of happiness. Now though, after 17 years with at least one lifepartner and 10 with two of them, I'm pretty sure I'm no longer fit for the single life and I'd be very unhappy on my own; I can't even cook for just one person anymore...

 

[Miss Serendipity]

I don't need to be in a relationship, I've been single for years now & I've watched practically all my friends get married or have great relationships going for them. I tend to be the one left behind when it comes to love & relationships.

Granted I find relationships enhance my life even if their not romantic or what not. I can't really comment on this properly as I have never been in a romantic relationship. Everyone I have ever crushed on or liked has either had a g/f already or was completely un-interested in me.


Suffice it to say: I'm apparently not datable!