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Forbidden Friendships

Big_Dogg85

4th Level Yellow Feather
Joined
Nov 12, 2003
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Hey, a thought occured to me tonight while surfing this great forum along with the rest of the webs to inquire with you all about your thoughts on forbidden friendships. These are those friendships that are seen with disdain and can never happen for a variety of reasons.

What is your thought on forbidden friendships? Are you friends with someone or some people where others might or have declared your friendship as forbidden and that declaration has affected your life? Were you ever forbidden from being friends with someone who you really wanted to become friends with?

I hope none of you were forbidden in becoming friends with me, this moose would become sad if he knew. 🙂 Please humour this moose because, unlike rhinos, we don't have much of anything to force on anyone. 😛
 
I've never been forbidden to be any ones friend. No one decides who I can be friends with except me.
 
Forbidden...? no. Actively sabotaged with the "best of intentions," by mutual friends yes... many times. Particularly if the friend (and a emphesise, friend) is a lass, and she's cute.
 
My attitude is, you're not going to tell me who I can or cannot be friends with. Funny, you know, there were some people here in the TMF who tried to do that. For some strange reason, they thought they could get away with it. Sorry.

However, sometimes, you have to consider the hard realities of the consequences that could befall the other person if the friendship takes hold, you reason things out- that by backing off, you could avoid some bad things. This happened to me, not long ago. I had to climb over my own narcisism. No small feat.
 
I've had people try to pull that on me. I tell them I am an adult, not a school kid, and will be friends with whoever I choose. If they don't like that they are free to take a hike.
 
I tend to try and get along with just about everyone, even (especially?) people who tend to be off-putting and not have alot of friends. For this reason I always find myself being friends with people who my other friends don't get along with. Luckily I've never been put in the position to have to choose - which is good because I cannot get down with someone who gives me an ultimatum. I don't have any tolerance for that kind of bullshit.
 
I try to get along with everybody, and Nobody is ever gonna tell me who I can or cant be friends with, at least unless they are naked and cover and covered with chocolate sauce, then maybe Ill consider it
 
I've had people try to pull that on me. I tell them I am an adult, not a school kid, and will be friends with whoever I choose. If they don't like that they are free to take a hike.

^This!
 
I've had people try to pull that on me. I tell them I am an adult, not a school kid, and will be friends with whoever I choose. If they don't like that they are free to take a hike.

Same here. Unfortunately I did have to sever people from my life who insisted on doing my thinking for me. They needed to fix their own lives yet dared to tell me how to live mine and who my friends should be.
 
Been there. Have been banned from the entire male species before. I'm not taking that crap from anyone ever again though.
 
i've certainly overheard many people telling others not to be MY friend.. can't imagine why, though. the idea baffles me!
 
I've succumbed to pressure in the past to avoid friendships with
certain people. I've let that all go, and now I am friends with who
I want to be friends with, regardless of others' feelings about them.
 
People have tried, I don't allow it to happen. I find myself fitting into all different groups. There are some friends I do not mix with others due to personality conflicts but I don't let it affect my being their friend. I did have a girlfriend who was jelous of my relationship with a girl who I was friends with long before I hooked up with this particular blood sucker. She felt we had too much in common. The fact that the girl is married to my best friend should have clued her into the fact that that nothing ever happened between us or will ever happen between us or that I even want anything to happen between us. Nevertheless she saw her as a threat. When I broke up with her she made a comment about all my friends. In responce was that if she treated me with the dignity and respect my friends do I would have never broke it off.
 
I'm not sure what a forbidden friendship is, unless you're talking about a situation like "Oh, by the way, I'm friends with Ayman al-Zawahiri."
 
The moment someone abdicates decision making on something as important as their choice of friends, they're admitting that they are profoundly deficient as an autonomous being. ...and the moment someone does that, I am obliged to agree.

And when someone believes they can sway me on such matters on their word alone, they're more liable to find themselves in the place they sought to put their target.

I have no "forbidden friends". Only friends. No enemies, either. Only people with whom I have a different sense of trust; I trust them only so far to do as history has shown they are like to do.
 
I'm not sure what a forbidden friendship is, unless you're talking about a situation like "Oh, by the way, I'm friends with Ayman al-Zawahiri."

I think the most common "forbidden friendship" is when a girl will tell a boyfriend that he can't be friends with someone because they're super insecure or something.

Guys don't tend to do that in my experience, they let their gfs have guy friends, but they'll constantly badger the girl about it during arguments like a jerk 😛
 
I think the most common "forbidden friendship" is when a girl will tell a boyfriend that he can't be friends with someone because they're super insecure or something.

Guys don't tend to do that in my experience, they let their gfs have guy friends, but they'll constantly badger the girl about it during arguments like a jerk 😛

Moral of the story: Move on too the next coffee shop?
 
I think the most common "forbidden friendship" is when a girl will tell a boyfriend that he can't be friends with someone because they're super insecure or something.

Guys don't tend to do that in my experience, they let their gfs have guy friends, but they'll constantly badger the girl about it during arguments like a jerk 😛

Makes sense... lol.

I guess the girls I've dated weren't the jealous type, and I'm not the jealous type myself.
 
I haven't been in this situation to the point to where it became an issue, but I know I've been friends with people that others were uncomfortable with. However, for instance, if my husband came to me to tell me he didn't want me to be friends with someone, I'd take it into consideration based on his comfort, reasoning, the importance of our marriage versus the friendship, etc.

If he had a good reason that I could agree and sympathize with and see to be true, I'd first try to correct the issue then if that didn't change the situation, I'd certainly cease the friendship. Though, I don't particularly surround myself with the type of people that others would disapprove of. And all in all, in the the end, the decision is left up to be whether I am friends with someone or not.

I am a rational person and willing to listen to reason, but I am also my own person that can make my own decisions.
 
We can still be friends though, right???????????????????

Yeah, those supermodels' cartel decided to "mancott" me!! Their loss, not mine....... To lose a "true" friend by whatever means is devastating. We all have so few close friends to start with. Kinda like losing an internal organ. I think it hurts most when the "friend" decides to sever ties for whatever reason, especially if you were just being used and did not catch on.
 
Some have attempted it in the past, but I can't think of a circumstance in which I'd go along with something like that. If anyone feels they have a right to restrict my friendships, they're probably someone I'd rather not deal with anyway.
 
my soon to be ex-husband used to tell me who i could and couldn't be friends with. and unfortunately for a time, i let him. when i realized that i wasn't going to just do what i was told, i then hid said friendship for awhile, which in essence only let him control me longer. i have since decided that no one gets to make these decisions for me anymore. it has become part of me standing up for me and being who i am as a person. my current boyfriend and i recently had a fight about this very issue since he asked me to stop being friends with a guy he found out i slept with in the past. after assuring him there were no lingering feelings, i refused to stop the friendship. no longer will i stand by and let others make my decisions for me
 
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