Has anyone ever been bullied & how did you deal with it?

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Two and a half years ago in April of 2006, as some of you may know, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome which is a high functioning form of autism. When I complain about my disability, it's not really the disability per se, it's the NATURE OF THE DISABILITY THAT I DON'T LIKE. You see, when you have a disability that challenges the way you interact with other people, life is more difficult in a way that it would be even if I were physically challenged. While I was growing up, to make a long story short, there were a few times I was bullied by two different girls. When I first went to overnight camp in Mass. and were with girls who were mostly from N.Y, there was this one girl Samantha who was a real bitch to me and made my life for the most part miserable at this camp. She turned most of the other girls against me so what happened was I would go to the counselors for help and they tried but couldn't do very much. So, to make a long story short, my parents had to come get me in the middle of the summer to take me home.

I was bullied again in high school by the girl Dora who was a real bitch who would come by where I was sitting in the cafeteria to touch my hair and pat me on the head like she was petting a dog. I got so sick of it one day that I hit her in the hall and had to go to the principal's office. Somebody actually heard that I did that and and said to me good job or something like that. I have heard on talk shows that bullying has become worse in schools and there's cyberbulling now. I think that some schools, I don't know about all schools, have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. I think that should've been in place at least 20 years ago or earlier.

Looking forward to your thoughts on this.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

I guess I went to a pretty good High School because there weren't any real bullies. There were assholes to be sure, but nobody actively degraded or attacked other people just for the fun of it.

 

[Artoo]

Yeah, I was pretty badly bullied when I was in secondary school - besides verbal taunts, I was beaten up a lot; I got my cheek broken and my head smashed against concrete walls several times.
I became more apathetic, and started to not care what people said about me. Once I did that, people realised that bullying me wasn't worth their effort.

Although I think those who bully others are dicks, a lot of the time it's those who are being bullied who bring it upon themselves for making themselves such an easy target.

 

[PocketKings0174]

I was bullied a bit in elementary school, I think everyone's been bullied at some point in their life. You just have to realize that you are better than they are. If it gets completely out of hand you could tell others who would probably defend you from their crap. Otherwise it's hard to deal with. Girl's can be very cruel, especially in High School, but after that, it seems to fade away once you don't have to associate with anyone that you don't respect.

I'm sorry to hear that though. I hope you find a solution.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I guess I went to a pretty good High School because there weren't any real bullies. There were assholes to be sure, but nobody actively degraded or attacked other people just for the fun of it.

That's good for you. However, I don't know if a high school should be measured if it's a good high school or not based on whether there's bullying there or not. I think that if someone is bullied enough growing up, it will effect their self esteem to a certain degree.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Yeah, I was pretty badly bullied when I was in secondary school - besides verbal taunts, I was beaten up a lot; I got my cheek broken and my head smashed against concrete walls several times.
I became more apathetic, and started to not care what people said about me. Once I did that, people realised that bullying me wasn't worth their effort.

Although I think those who bully others are dicks, a lot of the time it's those who are being bullied who bring it upon themselves for making themselves such an easy target.

I actually don't completely agree with you that those who are bullied bring it upon themselves necessarily. That might be the case sometimes but what do you say to someone who has a disability whose being bullied? I mean there are some people who either can't or have difficulty standing up for themselves so they need the most protection. Basically, I don't care how different someone is, there's no excuse for people to bully.

 

[Artoo]

I think that if someone is bullied enough growing up, it will effect their self esteem to a certain degree.

Yes it will affect their self esteem; but it shouldn't be used as an excuse for their lives being rubbish once the bullying has stopped, and life has moved on.
I had little or no self esteem when I was younger, but I've moved past that now, and the memories of being bullied no longer effect me.

 

[Artoo]

I actually don't completely agree with you that those who are bullied bring it upon themselves necessarily. That might be the case sometimes but what do you say to someone who has a disability whose being bullied? I mean there are some people who either can't or have difficulty standing up for themselves so they need the most protection.

Of course, if the reason one is being bullied is because they have a disability, then it will be harder for them to stand up for themselves, in which case they should try and find support wherever they can. But this doesn't change the fact that the only way they will stop being bullied is by fighting their own battles, rather than letting someone else (be it a parent, teacher or whoever) do it for them.

 

[Carsomyr]

Yeah, I was pretty badly bullied when I was in secondary school - besides verbal taunts, I was beaten up a lot; I got my cheek broken and my head smashed against concrete walls several times.
I became more apathetic, and started to not care what people said about me. Once I did that, people realised that bullying me wasn't worth their effort.

Pretty much the same for me, only it never got better. I had the entire school after me eventually.

I guess I just sat through it, until I moved to a new school 3 years later.

 

[luv2tikl]

Yes, I was subject to bullying in middle school. The only real answer I have is to endure it... I was quite small back then (and still am), so I was an easy target. It's weird, though... I have a hunch that some of the adults had a talk with the bullies (I never told on them) because, all of the sudden, out of the blue, they went from bullying me to acting like they really liked me... It was kind of strange, but I wasn't about to complain about it!

 

[Artoo]

Yes, I was subject to bullying in middle school. The only real answer I have is to endure it... I was quite small back then (and still am), so I was an easy target. It's weird, though... I have a hunch that some of the adults had a talk with the bullies (I never told on them) because, all of the sudden, out of the blue, they went from bullying me to acting like they really liked me... It was kind of strange, but I wasn't about to complain about it!

Kids are fickle sometimes...I went on to become fairly well aquainted with some of my former bullies. I even saw one in a nightclub over christmas for the first time since school, and he came up to me and apologised for being such a dick in the past.
Funny old world, isn't it?

 

[Helena]

Jen,
I think it is impossible to go through life expecting to never encounter conflict with others. In schools, I think junior high bullying can get quite nasty.

I think there are bullies in schools, and there are bullies in the adult world as well. Some people never grow out of their bullying ways, and never mature emotionally to respect people who are different than themselves. I've had encounters with adults that are like that.

The biggest annoyance is when people follow a big-mouthed bully's lead, and develop a mob mentality. I don't want to get on a tangent about how much that annoys me, and take away from your original post. I don't think bullying will ever completely go away.

I don't think a zero tolerance policy keeps bullying from happening, and sometimes the rule makers are bullies themselves.

 

[CarolinaTickler]

A bully is usually someone who is so insecure about themselves that they have to build themselves up by knocking someone else down. Like Helena sadi though, the problem with bullies is that they often attract others who have the same emotional insecurities and desire acceptance. I think most of us here can remember being bullied or have some kind of experience with bullying. The one time I was ever bullied was when I was in junior high and this one kid would not stop harassing me all year long because we had the same lunch. I said finally made some comment to him about his mom that I don't even remember and then as we were going to go throw put our trays away he threw his milk in my face. I tackled him and just started to punch him until DARE office separated us. I was so mad about that because I got suspended for a week and all he got was in school suspension for a day.

 

[SamuelKhan]

I was bullied in grade school, middle school, high school and a little during one of my early jobs.

Also, my brother and I were verbally assaulted by my father after my parents remarried (not sure why). I'm not going to get any more specific on the results of that end of the bullying.

But when you get it from both sides (at home and at school) it can effect you the rest of your life. Your self-esteem, crucial to any success in life, takes a serious beating. I still have flashbacks.

Bullies are downright cowards. They are driven by fear...the fear that they won't rate with the girls in school if they don't act tough, so the find a victim that is unlikely to stand up to them. Nice guys do in fact finish last. Unfortunately, there are girls that go for jerks like that, but only for a short while. In a stand up mano y mano battle, they wouldn't measure up.

And as said before in this thread, the bullying doesn't stop at the High School property. You'll find it in college and the workplace.

If you have tremendous confidence and self-respect, you will unlikely be a victim.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Yeah, me. I had a short temper so they thought it to be alot of fun to see what my snapping point was. But I was the strongest in my class so it came down to beating those people up if I could catch them.

In highschool they didn't dare to do it after I KOd someone but I was still an outcast.

 

[Cavum]

I was bullied with alot when I was younger. Unfortantly it has scared me so there are times I get flashbacks, but I survived. When everything collapsed for me I spent some years on a prozacish drug to keep things down. It helped pretty much, but my big break through was when I finally got real friends. I know that's not something you can find overnight, but my advice is to keep your good friends close. Don't be afraid to talk about stuff. And something I found out later in life. NEVER be afraid to take action during the bullying. Talk with the headmaster, teachers and yeah...even the police if things go to far. You have the right to be respected and don't let anyone convince you that your not worth much. Good luck and never be afraid to contact me if you need someone to write with.

 

[chicago]

Honestly, letting the bully get to you, gives them the upper hand. They feed off the reactions they get, so the more you react, the more they bully. Every kid gets picked on in school at some point. I got through it by just focusing on my studies and when I got good grades, I felt better. Also, I learned that the best way to get out of being bullied, is have a sense of humor. I'd end up making fun of myself too, laughing, and pretty soon the bullies had nothing more to say, or they ended up becoming my friend. If none of that works, kick their ass. Bullies aren't usually prepared for a fight, even if they threaten one.

 

[Gothika]

when i was in school i got bullies constantly at times i did not say anything and i alwasy went to the principle or a teacher but it still went on and as i got older i started speaking up more and after a while i got sick of the principle and teachers not doing anything so i took matters into my own hands and handled theses people my self some of them became my frinds afterwords tho now i dont get picked on at all i do know someone that does and i tell this person to stand up for there selfs or its never going to end i know how it is and if i see someone else getting picked on i cannot stand it damn bullys

 

[Excess]

Was I bullied...HA. I was bullied from the moment I stepped in Kindergarden and it went through most of my childhood. I was lucky though, I was big for my age so I inspired teamwork...teamwork in beating me up. And teamwork between teachers and students in the kids starting the fights, then the teachers punishing me when I actually fought back. So looking back, I did some good huh?

 

[Musicroxmysox]

I've been bullied quite a lot throughout middle school. I also have suffered bullying online...not a nice situation....

Anyway...I try not to let it get to me. It is difficult though. Mostly I would just suffer in silence and go about my school work.

 

[Adam]

I was bullied early on, mostly because my parents raised me to be something of a pacifist. Not that avoiding fights is a bad thing, but sometimes you really just need to stand up for yourself. As I got older, if I ran into any problems with schoolmates, I was able to assert myself better. I really had to teach myself how to do this, and I'm still not great at it.

 

[Excess]

I've been bullied quite a lot throughout middle school. I also have suffered bullying online...not a nice situation....

Anyway...I try not to let it get to me. It is difficult though. Mostly I would just suffer in silence and go about my school work.

Indeed, even I have been bullied online in a few cases. And I don't mean just random insults, I mean outright threats against my life. Which isn't cool, keep it on the internet. What sucked more was that some of these people were very well respected in their territories so many people would take their side regardless. A bully with general push is one thing, but a bully with a real power is something else...

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Was I bullied...HA. I was bullied from the moment I stepped in Kindergarden and it went through most of my childhood. I was lucky though, I was big for my age so I inspired teamwork...teamwork in beating me up. And teamwork between teachers and students in the kids starting the fights, then the teachers punishing me when I actually fought back. So looking back, I did some good huh?

I love your picture Excess of Jesus riding Falcor from The Neverending Story. That's so funny! I really appreciate everyone's responses and I know that I am not the only one to ever get bullied but it's nice to read other stories from people who were bullied as well.

 

[RobAce]

I was bullied a lot when I was a kid, but during my freshman year in high school, I started to figure things out. Instead of letting the bulling get to me, I laughed with it, and started picking on myself. Believe me, the things I said about myself were smarter, funnier and a lot worse than anything they could come up with. When they figured out I could outsmart them, they pretty much left me alone.

I pretty much since then have been able to deal with bullies very easily . I simply say a few words, and then ignore them and move on. People who bully are usually very insecure, and need to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good. And honestly I feel sorry for them.

Rob

 

[Sandrock74]

I was bullied begining in 6th grade. I tried to be the good kid and never said or did anything about it. I was miserable and I HATED school, but everything came to a head late in 7th grade when I was physically assaulted by another kid. I was past my breaking point by then, so I beat him unconscious in front of most of the class! He ended up getting in trouble for it too, since he started the confrontation.
Let me tell you, 8th grade was much smoother!

I then went to high school and I again allowed myself to be bullied in 9th grade. One time someone thought it would be funny to knock my books out of my hand in the crowded hall between classes. As soon as he did it, I turned and pushed him as hard as I could and threatened to beat his ass bloody. A large crowd quickly gathered and I challenged him again, with more threats. He quickly backed down, apologized and disappeared into the crowd.
10th-12th grades were much smoother after that!

The moral of my life lesson? Violence is the cause of, and the solution to, most of life's problems!

I'm not a violent person, but there are times when you have to stand up for yourself and, unfortunately, that sometimes requires fighting back.