JJ Abrams Star Trek Sucks Ass (Lots of Spoilers)

[SlaverTickler]

Ok, so there was a thread a while back about the new J.J. Abrams film called Star Trek, and allot of people thought it was a great movie. I came on this thread, with out having seen it, and ripped into it based on things I had read on the net about the story/plot of the film. The film itself isn't all bad. It is actually a pretty good Sci-Fi movie. However as a long time Star Trek fan it totally sucks ass as a Trek film.

1) As I have stated many times, James T. Kirk and Christopher Pike are supposed to be very close in age. Abrams can play with all the "After they implode up Vulcan" shit he wants to, but this is an established fact in the ST:U. It was stated in the episode "The Menagerie" (Part 1), and is proof that Abrams little bed buddies Kurtzman and Orci never watched an Episode in their lives.

2) Taking into consideration the fact that Jim's father wasn't there to support and encourage him to join Star Fleet I get why he turns out to be such a reckless ass hole. However the way he acts during the Kobayashi Maru test is retarded, and what happened to his "Accommodation for Original Thinking" (Star Trek II). Again everything up to the destruction of Vulcan should have gone the same for the most part. If they would have given him kudos originally then they should have given him Kudos this time

3) Making a green as grass fresh out of Star Fleet Academy a Captain of the Federations flag ship is stupid. It's like making me lead hand on on a construction job just because my predecessor had great respect for my father. It would be retarded and would never happen in any sort of military situation, and Star Fleet is (in part at least) a military group.

4)In an Episode called "Balance of Terror" it is explained that nobody in Star Fleet (or the Federation of Planets) had ever seen a Romulan, nor had the Romulans ever seen them (even after 100 years of war). Spock was surprised... well as surprised as a Vulcan can be anyway... to find out Romulans look just like his people. So how the hell did the Spock in this film know that the bad guys were an off shoot of his Vulcan blood... well probably because the guys who wrote the movie never watched an episode of the old show.... or maybe they just missed that one... and the Menagerie.

5) I have an interview with Nichelle Nicholes (whom Gene Roddenberry credited equally in Uhura's creation), and she believed Spock was a mentor to Uhura, so that part of the movie was good. The romantic interest was dumb as paint.

6) The editing in this film stunk, and the scenes were cut to fast. I am guessing this is what people were talking about when they compared it to that other movie... I can't remember what it's called... the one that looks like it was filmed with Cell Phone Camera's. I never saw that one, but I am guessing this is what they mean by it.

The best casting in the film by far, was Karl Urban as McCoy. All though to be fair to the actors none of them did a bad job with what they were given. It's just unfortunate that Kurtzman and Orci were to lazy to do a little research and get there fact straight on the back story or this could have been a I would have liked allot.

For those of you who are no doubt wondering why I would go to see this movie when I had already stated reasons why I thought it would suck. The answer is my father wanted to go, so I took him. He said he liked the movie, but that it could have been better.

I honestly believe that Kurtzman and Orci wrote what could have been a very enjoyable Sci-Fi film. Unfortunately they didn't believe in themselves enough to sell it on it's own merit and decided to use the Star Trek brand. From Kirk's stupid behavior in the Kobayashi Maru spot on ward the film gets dumber as it goes on, right to the stupid promotion of LT Green... I mean Kirk to Captain of the USS Enterprise. Don't worry though, you won't here me bitch about Abrams next two Sodomizations (not a real word but it sounds cool) of the Star Trek franchise, because I have already told the Old Man if he wants to see them he can take my mom.

"Bonk, bonk on the head J.J. Abram, bonk bonk!"

ST

 

[Goodieluver]

Ok, so there was a thread a while back about the new J.J. Abrams film called Star Trek, and allot of people thought it was a great movie. I came on this thread, with out having seen it, and ripped into it based on things I had read on the net about the story/plot of the film. The film itself isn't all bad. It is actually a pretty good Sci-Fi movie. However as a long time Star Trek fan it totally sucks ass as a Trek film.

1) As I have stated many times, James T. Kirk and Christopher Pike are supposed to be very close in age. Abrams can play with all the "After they implode up Vulcan" shit he wants to, but this is an established fact in the ST:U. It was stated in the episode "The Menagerie" (Part 1), and is proof that Abrams little bed buddies Kurtzman and Orci never watched an Episode in their lives.

2) Taking into consideration the fact that Jim's father wasn't there to support and encourage him to join Star Fleet I get why he turns out to be such a reckless ass hole. However the way he acts during the Kobayashi Maru test is retarded, and what happened to his "Accommodation for Original Thinking" (Star Trek II). Again everything up to the destruction of Vulcan should have gone the same for the most part. If they would have given him kudos originally then they should have given him Kudos this time

3) Making a green as grass fresh out of Star Fleet Academy a Captain of the Federations flag ship is stupid. It's like making me lead hand on on a construction job just because my predecessor had great respect for my father. It would be retarded and would never happen in any sort of military situation, and Star Fleet is (in part at least) a military group.

4)In an Episode called "Balance of Terror" it is explained that nobody in Star Fleet (or the Federation of Planets) had ever seen a Romulan, nor had the Romulans ever seen them (even after 100 years of war). Spock was surprised... well as surprised as a Vulcan can be anyway... to find out Romulans look just like his people. So how the hell did the Spock in this film know that the bad guys were an off shoot of his Vulcan blood... well probably because the guys who wrote the movie never watched an episode of the old show.... or maybe they just missed that one... and the Menagerie.

5) I have an interview with Nichelle Nicholes (whom Gene Roddenberry credited equally in Uhura's creation), and she believed Spock was a mentor to Uhura, so that part of the movie was good. The romantic interest was dumb as paint.

6) The editing in this film stunk, and the scenes were cut to fast. I am guessing this is what people were talking about when they compared it to that other movie... I can't remember what it's called... the one that looks like it was filmed with Cell Phone Camera's. I never saw that one, but I am guessing this is what they mean by it.

The best casting in the film by far, was Karl Urban as McCoy. All though to be fair to the actors none of them did a bad job with what they were given. It's just unfortunate that Kurtzman and Orci were to lazy to do a little research and get there fact straight on the back story or this could have been a I would have liked allot.

For those of you who are no doubt wondering why I would go to see this movie when I had already stated reasons why I thought it would suck. The answer is my father wanted to go, so I took him. He said he liked the movie, but that it could have been better.

I honestly believe that Kurtzman and Orci wrote what could have been a very enjoyable Sci-Fi film. Unfortunately they didn't believe in themselves enough to sell it on it's own merit and decided to use the Star Trek brand. From Kirk's stupid behavior in the Kobayashi Maru spot on ward the film gets dumber as it goes on, right to the stupid promotion of LT Green... I mean Kirk to Captain of the USS Enterprise. Don't worry though, you won't here me bitch about Abrams next two Sodomizations (not a real word but it sounds cool) of the Star Trek franchise, because I have already told the Old Man if he wants to see them he can take my mom.

"Bonk, bonk on the head J.J. Abram, bonk bonk!"

ST

Sigh, this is what you do for attention?

1. Sure

2. Its an alternate reality so why should he be commended for original thinking when he has barely been in starfleet. Just like nowhere in the regular canon does it say Spock came up with the test. You are basing what happened off of Trek 2 which is based off of the original timeline

3. In a time of war or unrest, whom else was to command. The majority of the fleet was destroyed by the main romulan ship. HENCE WHY Future Spock said to challenge young Spock's command

4. That episode also takes place 40-60 yrs after Kirks father presumably died in this movie. Obviously Kirk's father is influential.

5. Again, alternate universe

6. I wont argue this


You have displayed non "logical" comprehension on what is going on with this movie

If you have problems with this movie, then you obviously have problems with "Mirror, Mirror" "Tholian Web" "In a Mirror Darkly 1 and 2" "Crossover" ""Through the Looking glass" "Mirror shattered" "Emperors new cloak" "Resurrection" "Yesterday's Enterprise-and the subsequent episodes which led to Yar's daughter" and most important, the TNG episode "Parallels".

Get over it, its a different reality. Nobody is asking you to replace this with the original. This is coming from a Trekker too. The regular universe is alive and well, this is a new universe that has just started due to an anomaly.

 

[Korastus]

I don't really see why you felt the need to create a new thread to spout off all of the things you ranted about in the other thread. It seems rather unnessecary.

However as a long time Star Trek fan it totally sucks ass as a Trek film.

I got sick of arguing with you a long time ago, but I'd like to note that you're still speaking solely for yourself here. I've spoken to many long time Trek fans that enjoyed the film quite a lot.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Sigh, this is what you do for attention?

Sometimes

1. Sure

2. Its an alternate reality so why should he be commended for original thinking when he has barely been in starfleet. Just like nowhere in the regular canon does it say Spock came up with the test. You are basing what happened off of Trek 2 which is based off of the original timeline

The alternate reality thing would only apply to so much. I can live with the fact that they decided Spock came up with the test (though thanks for giving me more fodder if I wanted it) but to simply say "Alternate Reality" is a cop out for the truth. And the truth is the writers were lazy pricks who should have watch the show and learned a few facts before writing a movie.

3. In a time of war or unrest, whom else was to command. The majority of the fleet was destroyed by the main romulan ship. HENCE WHY Future Spock said to challenge young Spock's command.

Taking command of the Enterprise earlier in the film I understood, but after they returned to Earth there must have been more experienced people to take comands of the enterprise then LT Green Jeans. This all goes back to the fact that Kirk should have been older to begin with.

4. That episode also takes place 40-60 yrs after Kirks father presumably died in this movie. Obviously Kirk's father is influential.

I don't see how Kirk SR.'s influence one way or another counters my point? How does J.T. father effect weather or not humans knew what Romulans looked like. Even the writer in Enterprise were able to keep that one straight (on the human side anyway).

5. Again, alternate universe

Again, Lame Ass Cop Out.

6. I wont argue this

Oh yeah well you... oh you agree with me on this one... cool

You have displayed non "logical" comprehension on what is going on with this movie

The word Sodomize was mentioned right? So I think I have a good idea.

If you have problems with this movie, then you obviously have problems with "Mirror, Mirror" "Tholian Web" "In a Mirror Darkly 1 and 2" "Crossover" ""Through the Looking glass" "Mirror shattered" "Emperors new cloak" "Resurrection" "Yesterday's Enterprise-and the subsequent episodes which led to Yar's daughter" and most important, the TNG episode "Parallels".

I have no problems with Mirror, Mirror, (it's actually a favorite episode of mine), because everything in Mirror Mirror makes sense in that reality. This Star Trek reality that Abrams and company created is only different from the point where the Romulans show up, and even then certain things wouldn't have been different (Like Kirks Acomadation and Pike being only a few years older). I never read the Trek Books because most of them suck ass just like this movie did (I am getting 2 of the Khan Trilogy soon though). I hated TNG from the first episode, but I did like "Yesterdays Enterprise" and the stuff with Tasha Yar's daughter... and it did make sense to me. I even liked the Enterprise 2 parter about Hoshie.

Get over it, its a different reality. Nobody is asking you to replace the original with this. This is coming from a Trekker too. The regular universe is alive and well, this is a new universe that has just started due to an anomaly.

I have as much right to bitch just as others have a right to heap praise. I supported the this franchise from a young age, and have earned (or at least bought) the right to say something sucks when I feel some bone head has messed with it.

 

[SlaverTickler]

I don't really see why you felt the need to create a new thread to spout off all of the things you ranted about in the other thread. It seems rather unnecessary

What you should really be asking yourself is why you felt the need to respond to this post if you felt it was so unnecessary in the first place.

I got sick of arguing with you a long time ago, but I'd like to note that you're still speaking solely for yourself here. I've spoken to many long time Trek fans that enjoyed the film quite a lot.

I realize that I am speaking for myself. Do you realize that I don't care. I always speak for me, have I claimed I am speaking for anybody else. I have said this was a good Sci-Fi film but as a Star Trek film it sucks ass... did I say other people feel the same no not at all. If they like it great, they can drink the sand if they want to. As I said to Goodieluver I have as much right to bitch about what I don't like as others do to heap praise on it if they do... or didn't you hear about that war where we kicked the Axis Powers ass and were aloud to keep the right to speak our minds?

 

[Artoo]

I have as much right to bitch about what I don't like as others do to heap praise on it if they do... or didn't you hear about that war where we kicked the Axis Powers ass and were aloud to keep the right to speak our minds?

...so close to Godwin's Law...within 5 posts!

 

[Speedbump]

All I can say is you need to get a life.

 

[BellaRisa]

All I can say is you need to get a life.

Now now, Slaver has every right to his opinions. Many of us disagree, and that's our right; if we can spend our time gushing over the movie, he can spend his time sharing his thoughts 🙂

I will add a little humor though:

 

[SlaverTickler]

Now now, Slaver has every right to his opinions. Many of us disagree, and that's our right; if we can spend our time gushing over the movie, he can spend his time sharing his thoughts 🙂

Bella, I take back half of what I was mumbling about you while reading all your gushing... but only half so you have a little added incentive to work me just that much hard if you should ever get me strapped to an immobelizer (or however you spell it).

I will add a little humor though:

Both Uhura's are sexy as a woman could get IMO... I just can't pick so I guess I'll have to keep 'em both. It's rough being me.

By the way her first name is Nyota, but she didn't have a first name until the movies... and that might have been the last one Nichelle was in. I half expected her to do the "Diva Finger Snap" when she got Spock to move her to the Enterprise... I think the Zoe Saldana was fighting the urge to do it based on the look on her face, lol.

 

[SlaverTickler]

...so close to Godwin's Law...within 5 posts!

I had to look that one up.

 

[MrMacphisto]

I thought the movie rocked.

I don't even like Lost either, and Mission Impossible 3 was a let down.

Basically, I went into this thinking, "Abrams is going to ruin this just like everything else he does."

I was very pleasantly surprised. I was also impressed by how Zachary Quinto is actually a good actor. His Sylar character is so cheesy in Heroes, but thankfully, his Spock is way better.

Also, Chris Pine is actually good as well. I figured he'd just be another pretty boy hired for image, but he proved he could act as well.

 

[The Last Laugh]

So, you thought the latest Star Trek movie sucked compared to which other Star Trek movies, exactly? I enjoy the Star Trek universe quite a bit (though mostly TNG and DS9), but let's face it, overall, the movie franchise isn't all that good. At least I don't think so.

 

[Sandrock74]

I'm starting to be embarrassed to call myself a Trekie...

 

[The Last Laugh]

I'm starting to be embarrassed to call myself a Trekie...

Shouldn't it be "Trekker"? It's a tad less embarrassing than "Trekkie".

 

[ShiningIce]

Star Trek 4 ROCKED

 

[MrMacphisto]

Slaver, I'd like you to watch this....

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[Korastus]

Slaver, I'd like you to watch this....

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You and The Onion are my new favorites. 😀

 

[Sandrock74]

Shouldn't it be "Trekker"? It's a tad less embarrassing than "Trekkie".

I don't care for the term "Trekker"...to me it sounds more nerdish.

 

[FootTickling101]

Actually, the "alternate reality" would have begun when Kirk's father died, not when Vulcan was destroyed, since that obviously did not happen in the original Trek universe. Therefore, everything from THAT point would be different. The time James Kirk was born. So his, and consequently, everyone else's life would not have gone the way it did in the original, so the writers could do whatever they wanted from that point on. I thought it was a very good movie, and I've been watching Star Trek since I was a kid.
Not to mention there are countless times on the original show, movies, etc, where things were contradicted. I mean theoretically in The Voyage Home, they came back in time and interacted and changed the course of history yet everything was exactly the same when they came back.

 

[Rich P]

Bella....Abosolute class on that one 🙂

 

[The Last Laugh]

I don't care for the term "Trekker"...to me it sounds more nerdish.

I was under the impression that "Trekkie" was the more geeky and pejorative term.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Slaver, I'd like you to watch this....

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/02LgdXVkXgM&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/02LgdXVkXgM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I've already seen it, I thought it was pretty funny. For the record I don't own any Star Trek garb, I just like the show and have a hand full of collectables.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Actually, the "alternate reality" would have begun when Kirk's father died, not when Vulcan was destroyed, since that obviously did not happen in the original Trek universe. Therefore, everything from THAT point would be different. The time James Kirk was born. So his, and consequently, everyone else's life would not have gone the way it did in the original, so the writers could do whatever they wanted from that point on. I thought it was a very good movie, and I've been watching Star Trek since I was a kid.

So how would the death of James Kirks father effect the fact that Chris Pike is suddenly 20 years older then he is?

Not to mention there are countless times on the original show, movies, etc, where things were contradicted. I mean theoretically in The Voyage Home, they came back in time and interacted and changed the course of history yet everything was exactly the same when they came back.

How do you know they chainged the corse of "history"? Maybe Checkoff was destined to leave a Klingon Phaser weapon at a United States navel base. It isn't impossible to believe that things turned out the way they did because of what they did in Star Trek IV. I do agree with you that there have been several contradictions in the show, in fact there was one episode where McCoy is talking to Spock about enjoying a strong shot of wisky (or was it brandy?) and Spock makes a remark about how his father race doesn't drink. McCoy says something to the effect of "No wonder they were conquered.", but latter in the same season Spock then say "Vulcan has never been conquered." You have to remember when Trek started there had never been anything like it before, so there was no format to follow and they played everything by ear. With the exceptiong of the Checkoff moment in Star Trek II the movie have been pretty good at following there own contanuity.

One last thing I would like to point out is that I said this was a good Sci-Fi movie, I just didn't think it was a good Trek movie. The Wrath of Kahn still reign's supream and Nickolas Myer's remains the best Star Trek Director of all time.

 

[SlaverTickler]

So, you thought the latest Star Trek movie sucked compared to which other Star Trek movies, exactly? I enjoy the Star Trek universe quite a bit (though mostly TNG and DS9), but let's face it, overall, the movie franchise isn't all that good. At least I don't think so.

There is a better story in the Wrath of Khan, and the Undiscovered Country was good to. Richardo Montalban (Khan) and Christopher Plummer (Chang) could out act the New Kids on the Bridge on any given day... and Montalban isn't even among the living anymore. Both Star Treks III and IV were very enjoyable films, and Star Trek V would have been better except Shatners vision surpased his funding. So basicly with the exception of Star Trek: The Motion Picture I would say all of the Original casts films had better plot and actual acting where as the new gang just has younger actors and better effects. I do give all the youngin's there do for a good effort but only Karl Urban gave that awesome over the top performance as Dr McCoy where as Pins Kirk came off more like a poor man's Zach Morris (remember Saved By The Bell).

 

[SlaverTickler]

Star Trek 4 ROCKED

It was funny as hell, I really liked it when Spock puts out the head banger with the neck pinch.