Roommate's Girlfriend suspects I have foot fetish, how?

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Me, my roommate and his gf all use reddit quite a bit, and there was a thread that asked what/how people got their different fetishes. She started talking about it and said, "did you read the one about the guy who has a foot fetish", and I said yeah. And she said, "yeah, I think you have a foot fetish." And I just turned the conversation to, do you judge people for their fetishes or do you think that's weird? And she sort of backpedalled a little, and I suggested that it's not right for her to judge people based on what they like. I said do you have any fetishes? And she said yeah, and I said, then how can you call a foot fetish weird? She paused, and realized that I was right. She asked me, "what my fetish was" and I responded by saying "I don't have a specific one" and she said, "you don't have any fetishes?" She's certainly not the person that I want to be divulging my fetish with, 1) because she can't keep her mouth shut about anything ever and 2) because what good would it do having my roommate's gf know I have a foot fetish. It does sort of suck because she has cute feet and she's super ticklish. I'm trying not to think about that.

However, lately I've been noticing her sort of putting her feet out for me, and tonight she did it especially. She was laying down on my roommate's bed while we were chatting and she put her feet off the bed towards me. What should I think about this? Why did she bring this up? How did she even find out?

 

[PhilipRJ_UK]

Play it as cool as you possibly can. She might well be calling your bluff, but I wouldn't take any risks by mentioning anything further about it. She could be just teasing you, trying to make you squirm about it. If she brings it up again, be casual and laugh. That's the best advice I can offer you 🙂

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Le Reddit apparently keeps all the links you've read in a little 'history' sidebar, if you've been doing a lot of foot related shit on there, that's why.

Also just go with it. Being a hyperdefensive nerd about it is just going to make it worse than it would have been if you'd have just been a confident foot guy.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Well what would be the purpose in having her find out? Or why would she even bring it up? Clearly I'm not going to give her foot massages or anything being that she's my roommate's girlfriend. It's just weird to even think about that. She texted me once a while back saying, "do you give a lot of foot massages?" And I asked why? Apparently she was watching Pulp Fiction and he mentions it, and that's what her defense was for asking it. Then, coupled with sort of putting her feet out more in my direction, I seem to think she's interested in the fetish. Last night she said that she doesn't like feet. Why would she look to me for some sort of discussion on it?

 

[Restraints]

I respect what Comfort Eagle said, but I was in a similar situation (once upon a time). She, too, "couldn't keep her mouth shut about anything ever." As eager as I was to tickle, I was even more eager to keep my private life to myself (until I was good and ready). Thinking back, when my friend's girl extended her foot toward me (on several occasions), I realized she was "fishing" . . . hoping I'd be gullible enough to "bite". I just waved the air in front of my nose and pretended her foot stank. I've never met a girl who wanted to hear that, so she quit it. I was regretful, but relieved.

 

[rhiannon]

Why would she look to me for some sort of discussion on it?

It sounds to me like she's trying to make you uncomfortable about it.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Precisely. I'm not about to out myself to someone like here when I'm in college and have a reputation to uphold. For anyone who says, "what does it matter?" It does matter and that's a dumb argument. The people I deal with on a normal basis are close-minded and if they find foot fetishes abnormal, imagine what a tickle fetish will appear as. If these people accepted my fetish, would I be talking to any of you people? Clearly not.

Tonight was probably the most she'd done anything. She's put her foot out for me to see on numerous occasions and I guess I've looked, which is what tipped her off. I've literally never discussed feet with her before. But why then would she bring it up? Are girls literally that drama oriented that she's try and make something come between me and my roommate? That's such a bad move. Or does she actually want her feet touched and he won't do it for her so she's looking elsewhere.

I'm asking these questions because what happens if I'm left alone with her and she starts doing things with her feet to try and get my attention? Am I going to be able to resist? I hope so. Or do you think I convinced her enough tonight?

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

It sounds to me like she's trying to make you uncomfortable about it.

Well then I could've grilled her on her fetishes. She openly admitted she had some, so whatever they may be she opened that part to discussion. I have pretty thick skin and she knows that. I had sex with her roommate only for her to tell people I had a small penis. Whether of not I do, it's never bothered me and I've shown that its never bothered me.

 

[Flatfoot]

Either she's got you preoccupied to the point that you think she's testing you, or she really is screwing with you. Even if she is, I don't know that getting defensive is the way to go. I think the way I would have approached it when confronted would be to appear calmly unaffected while repeating her accusation, and asking her to elaborate on why she feels that way. Getting defensive may as well have been an admission by silence. I don't know the type of relationships you have with your roommate and his girl, but if pressed, I would have joked that you only like it when her boyfriend rubs your feet. Kinda like Pulp Fiction, making light of the situation could diffuse it. Also, if the game is discomfort, you win by making the other person uncomfortable. 😛

 

[Libertine]

Whatever the situation she's still your roommate's girlfriend so ignore any overtures, tell her sex and all its variations is something between her and her boyfriend, and leave well enough alone.

Funny how PC college types who will (for instance) defend to the death, and go on marches to support, gay people's absolute rights to do whatever they want to one another will still stigmatise an innocuous thing like straight tickling.

This is simply because people need something to deplore and straight fetishism is a more socially acceptable target.

"I am sexually adventurous, you are kinky, he is a disgusting pervert."

 

[voided9]

Sounds like she's really trying to freak you out. She doesn't sound like someone you could or should trust. I think you should ignore it, honestly.

 

[imirritated]

Ignore her. She sounds like an asshole.

 

[jhop220]

She is promiscuous....she likes the attention. She wants you to want a part of her even if it is her feet. She will taunt you and try anything for you to pay her attention.

Her boyfriend/your roommate is probably not aware of it. He probably doesn't see it because he is so into the girl.

The worst thing you can do is be defensive about it. Matter of fact...you should act like it doesn't bother you even if you are itching to look at her feet. Don't. Have some will power and don't give her that satisfaction.

If you two are ever alone and talking...and the fetish thing comes up. Best thing you could do is say "everyone has their cup of tea...I got mine...you have yours. I respect my roommate enough to not go into your bedroom....why don't you respect your boyfriend by not coming into mine?"

 

[rhiannon]

Well then I could've grilled her on her fetishes. She openly admitted she had some, so whatever they may be she opened that part to discussion.

She seems to be much more comfortable about hers though than you are about yours!

 

[PiedPiper]

Keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Women's intuition is not a myth,... it's like a sixth sense, sometimes.

 

[TicklesXXX]

Sounds like she's really trying to freak you out. She doesn't sound like someone you could or should trust. I think you should ignore it, honestly.

This.

 

[marcusb]

Who cares. Rub them. Tickle them. Do whatever... if she says anything... bring up that she stuck them in your lap. Don't be so uptight. 😉

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I respect what Comfort Eagle said, but I was in a similar situation (once upon a time). She, too, "couldn't keep her mouth shut about anything ever." As eager as I was to tickle, I was even more eager to keep my private life to myself (until I was good and ready). Thinking back, when my friend's girl extended her foot toward me (on several occasions), I realized she was "fishing" . . . hoping I'd be gullible enough to "bite". I just waved the air in front of my nose and pretended her foot stank. I've never met a girl who wanted to hear that, so she quit it. I was regretful, but relieved.

Precisely. I'm not about to out myself to someone like here when I'm in college and have a reputation to uphold. For anyone who says, "what does it matter?" It does matter and that's a dumb argument. The people I deal with on a normal basis are close-minded and if they find foot fetishes abnormal, imagine what a tickle fetish will appear as. If these people accepted my fetish, would I be talking to any of you people? Clearly not.

Tonight was probably the most she'd done anything. She's put her foot out for me to see on numerous occasions and I guess I've looked, which is what tipped her off. I've literally never discussed feet with her before. But why then would she bring it up? Are girls literally that drama oriented that she's try and make something come between me and my roommate? That's such a bad move. Or does she actually want her feet touched and he won't do it for her so she's looking elsewhere.

I'm asking these questions because what happens if I'm left alone with her and she starts doing things with her feet to try and get my attention? Am I going to be able to resist? I hope so. Or do you think I convinced her enough tonight?

"Owning it" doesn't mean immediately fall to the ground and start sniffing her toenails, it just means don't let her know make it a weapon against you. Ideally, it means being an alpha, acknowledging that's how you roll, and moving on from there. It sounds like you're too terrified to go that route though, so just ignore it.

Don't actually touch or massage her, though, sounds like she's baiting you. You might want to touch on why she keeps insisting you do things to her that (as far as she suspects) give you a boner.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

Don't actually touch or massage her, though, sounds like she's baiting you. You might want to touch on why she keeps insisting you do things to her that (as far as she suspects) give you a boner.

This is what I'm trying to figure out. I've never been attracted to her, and she knows that in no way do I like her. But she must've seen me look at her feet, and she must've thought that I have a foot fetish, so now she thinks I'm checking her out. This girl seriously acts like a child and I have zero attraction to her, I'm just wondering where the sudden impulse of questions is coming from. What good does it do her to know what my fetishes are?

 

[SoleMates]

What good does it do her to know what my fetishes are?

She gets off on pushing your buttons and making you "want" her because it feeds her ego to know you're popping a boner over her feet. Plus, she's power-tripping over knowing that as much as you want her, you can't have her.

At least, in her mind. It's an ego trip with a dollop of attention-whoring on the side. Call her on her bullshit and move on.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

She gets off on pushing your buttons and making you "want" her because it feeds her ego to know you're popping a boner over her feet. Plus, she's power-tripping over knowing that as much as you want her, you can't have her.

I think this is the correct answer.

 

[ergtic69]

My opinion
A; she has a foot fetish herself, and wanted to see if you would admit to it just by chance, cause she noticed you glancing at her feet. And she was curious. She likes the attention and wants to go further with it. What kind of gf spends allot of alone time with his roommate. She prob has a "secret" crush on you, or is waiting for you to do something with her feet. That is why she keeps on teasing you. I would suggest to act normal. Don't freak out. Act the way you normally did before she brought all of this up. If your room ate is a good friend of yours then I wouldn't over step your boundaries.
B; She is trying to prove that she is right, and getting you to admit or ask her if she needs a foot rub, or give her a quick tickle on her bare sole. So she can say that you want her or that you do have a foot fetish. If that is the case then I would back off all of the way, if she is in the apt with you alone. I would go out and leave her there.
There isn't anything wrong with people knowing your fetish. My wife told her brother and sister and father about my foot/tickling/bondage/nylon fetish. and they don't give a dam. They all have there "Weird" fetishes. If anything, I got a couple of good "tickle fights" with her sister. they don't care now. if anything it was me that felt weird the first couple of days. Its all good now.
That is my opinion. Sorry if it is long.
Thanks for reading.

 

[Angel_2]

Leave well enough alone. Let it go and don't let her fuel the flames. I think she is testing you trying to make you crack. Stay strong and ignore her as best you can. Play it smart act as if this isn't getting to you and sooner or later she will let it go.

 

[c7_assassin]

Who cares. Rub them. Tickle them. Do whatever... if she says anything... bring up that she stuck them in your lap. Don't be so uptight. 😉

^This [but, be cool about it]. A foot fetish is practically mainstream at this point. If she's teasing you and putting her feet in your lap... that's a pretty clear come-on. Give her a tickle. Even if that's not what she was looking for, she can't possibly be weird about it when she's the one who's pushing things.

Unless, of course, your roommate is prone to Roid Rage and would take any kind of physical contact between his girl and yourself as an affront. Then you should look out.

 

[rhiannon]

Unless, of course, your roommate is prone to Roid Rage and would take any kind of physical contact between his girl and yourself as an affront. Then you should look out.

So what if she goes about telling his roommate that he has a foot fetish and played with her feet? Don't think it's a good idea to do anything with her feet.