Sobering thought about TOO MUCH Tickling

[tickler_n_black]

recently we approached a beautiful woman about being in a tickling video and this is what she had to say:

"Unfortunately, I can’t stand to be tickled… I had some very bad experiences as a child… I was traumatized by family members."

i'm not exactly sure why i'm posting this. maybe in the back of my mind i'm asking a rhetorical question of is it possible to go to far sometimes?
i think it will make for good discussion here on the board though.

so. what are your thoughts on her past experiences with being tickled?

 

[mrhm53755]

If she would ever agree, everybody has their price, it would be the first tickling video I would buy. Even if the entire video only lasted 5 minutes it would be worth every penny to me.

Eric

 

[tommytikl]

My thought

Hey TIB, good question.

In the models case and in many I have met that have the "I was traumatized by family members." issue is that it is not one big tickling incident that caused the trauma, but the maybe everyday or excessive,at least in the ticklee's mind, amout of tickling they received as a child.

My friends wife is deathly ticklish all over and especially her awesome feet but her brother held her down as a child and tickled her and her sisters feet, and all over, constantly so that now they hate to be tickled...

The other reason they may not like tickling or the immoblizing effect it has on them is that they were probably tickled against thier will all the time, never respecting the ticklee's boundaries and therefor in adulthood HATE to give up control of any kind let alone be tickled.
I bet if you asked the model if she liked being tied up or dominated she would say she hated it.

MY 2 cents.

 

[Mimi]

It is DEFINITELY possible to go too far. I witnessed a friend of mine being held down and tickled on her feet by her boyfriend once. This girl is one of those painfully ticklish types, and her boyfriend KNEW she hated to be tickled. But he ignored that, pinned her ankles, and went to town on her feet anyway. He ignored her begging and pleading for him to stop, and continued anyway. Within 15 seconds, she was bawling her eyes out in agony, and I literally had to PULL him off of her. That was borderline non-consensual abuse in my opinion.

I know of a few people (some of them current TMF members who shall remain unnamed) who grew up with tickling as a form of abuse and punishment. That is just WRONG IMO. There are many people for whom tickling is pure, untolerable torture, and to endure it would be much like strapping them down and burning them with a branding iron repeatedly. This woman you approached probably went through something similar while growing up. Perhaps her parents, an aunt or uncle, older siblings, or even neighborhoold bullies had repeatedly pinned and tickle tortured her. Everyone, even those of us who love to be tickled, knows there is a breaking point where you literally can not take anymore, and it HAS to stop. Fortunately for us, most of us in the tickling community practice safe playing, and make a requirement of using safewords and other safety precautions while playing. We know when to stop, or know to listen to a lee when they sincerely can not handle anymore. People outside of the community, however, often are not aware of the dangers associated with our sort of play, and ignore all physical and vocal signs of it crossing the line from play to actual torture.

That's likely what this woman experienced. Someone in her family pinning her down (or possibly even tying) and tickling her well beyond her breaking point...ignoring any of her pleas, and all warning signs. I'm sure it was extremely traumatic for her. It would be similarly traumatic even for someone in the community, who ENJOYED being tickled, to be continually tickled past their breaking point. That might be enough to even turn a known ticklephile against the idea of ever being tickled again. The violation enforced is akin to being violated in a sexual assault manner. It strips you of the ability to trust anyone again for a long time...sometimes forever.

It's a horrible shame this woman endured that sort of treatment when she was young. Whoever did it to her should be forced to endure similar treatment and see how they like it. It's abusive, no matter how you slice it.

Mimi

 

[AffectionateDan]

Yeah, I'll just echo what Meems already summed up nicely...

...it's abuse. No way around it. My older brothers used to torture my older sister the same way (apparently before I was old enough to remember, or even born), so now she has the same issues with it. Not only does she have a low threshold for it personally, but she'll actively intervene if she's witness to it, no matter if it's horseplay, consensual, mutual, whatever. Makes me a little sad.

 

[WraithTickler]

I believe this relates to a similar thread on tickling as torture that popped up a while back. If someone consents to it, knowing that they'll be pushed past a certain point, it's acceptable. Otherwise, a big no. People have to respect other people's limits and acknowledge that tickling, like anything else, can go too far.

 

[toneus79]

Do you enjoy being flogged with a Bullwhip ? Well some people do, and get a sexual/physical high from it. Does that mean we can assume everyone will get turned on by being flogged in this way; it just needs to be done properly ?

Wise up people, Tickling is for consenting adults only (like our good selves). If everyone else enjoyed it as well, then everyone else would be doing it as well (after all they do that shagging thing don't they, without thinking 'How perverted is this').

The example I like to make to all the macho hetero guys, is how much would you enjoy being non-consensually tickled by Boy George (say).

 

[Mitchell]

I've had personal experience with this as the lee, but in my younger years. As most on here know who know me, Iam M/F, but for many years I was absolutely petrified to be tickled, because of a male bunkmate in summer camp, who used to torture the daylights out of my feet. Every time my shoes came off, he'd grab my foot and just start in. Even though I screamed at him to stop, he just kept on, sometimes to the point where the couneslors would have to pull him off of me. That was abusive, and not done to the point of playfulness or what not, and for years after, I would go cold all over my body at the thought of being tickled. Gradually, it came back to the point where Iam not petrified of it anymore. Granted, since Iam relatively new to the tickling community, and my ex gf, as many know wasnt ticklish, I havent had too much experience with serious sexual tickling of a girl. I do know that when I used to tickle my friends Lora and Stacy in college, as I've posted on here, I'd give them a good "tickle whipping", as they were hysterical laughing, but never to the point where they were screaming for dear life or anything. After I got a good hysterical laugh out of them, I'd stop. Maybe it will be different if I meet someone who is into tickling, but I dont think I could ever torture someone to the point where they'd cry or feel like it was physical abuse, thats just wrong. All I have to remember is what that guy in my cabin in camp did to me. Plus, I also realize that unless I either meet someone in the tickle community who loves to be tickled, or I can convert someone into it, my tickling when I meet a girl or get married may be limited to the more playful relationship thing where I just get her feet or what not for a brief time every so often and thats it. Abusive tickling? I've had it, and it is NOT fun, so I'll be careful with my lee, whoever she is, and I hope if I DO meet someone who is into tickling, and especially someone who is both lee and ler, that she will be respectful of me too. Respect is important, especially when it comes to something sexual that you are doing to another person's body. That is a VERY personal thing.

Mitch

 

[Darkknight]

I'm surprised TIB you haven't been told that more by models.
I only know of one gal in my life time that had been "scarred" by tickle torture from her family through her life.
She had this look in her eyes when she told me she hated being tickled, that it made her mad... seriously mad.

When it affects someone that much, it makes me feel a little sad. Some one or some people just didn't respect limits and now damaged a gal that was really a lot of fun but could not be tickled ever again.
I believe one can be abused like this, again it's sad to here.

To me it's fine to have a fantasy about it, hence the non-consent video concepts but when you drive a gal to tears... it's not fun and certainly not right. A tickler should not play dumb, we know when someone has had enough. When you choose to ignore that, then you have crossed the line and purposely violated them. That is not right.

Ok, you have a consenting ticklee that hates tickling to all high heaven but wants you to torture her to tears.. that's fine. Shoot... where can I hook up with her? 😉
Without my rambling further, everyone has a breaking point and don't think because you're having fun that you have the right to violate someone.

To quote Forrest Gump... "and that's all I got to say about that..."

DK

 

[U.N.Owen]

I can't stand people who tickle kids to excess. Tickling is very intense. Many kids like it, but ONLY if it is brief, friendly, and low-key. Pinning a child down and tickling them is abuse, plain and simple. No wonder people who had that done to them turn against it. I mean, anything becomes torture if it's pushed far enough. How do you think a kid who was, say, bathed constantly until he bled would feel about water later on in life?

The same applies to adults: no one has the right to do things to another person that person doesn't want. People who don't like being tickled can, I think, LEARN to like it, at least sometimes... through respect, care, and GRADUAL introduction. But of course, that line of thought shades off into the non-consent argument we've already had here about 50 times. I don't think anyone wants to start that again.

 

[crydun]

As we once used for a Drug Awareness program in elementary school once....

too much of Anything is no good.

 

[lrtk36]

exactly, too much of anything is not good, especially if it's non-consentual, just my opinion.

 

[tklgal226]

i third that

~clair 😉

 

[Iluv2Btickled]

So too much "bond" is no good?😕

www.bond-music.com

🙄 😉 😀 😛

 

[Morning Angel]

Good thread!

Thanks to everyone who posted about the importance of consent and respecting peoples wishes.

I can understand how some people can be traumatized by too much tickling in their childhoods. For anyone to take such advantage of a child's vulnerability is a terrible thing.

I was tickled a great deal as a child, never to the point of physical harm, but to the point where I became afraid of being tickled. Even once I realised that there was a certain amount of pleasure mixed in with the fear, it took me years to accept it and overcome the fear.

If someone associates only bad things with tickling, then you MUST respect that. They may be willing to try getting over their trauma, but at their own pace.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled tickling🙂

 

[Ayla ny]

Morning Angel, I love the way you put this.

when you said, “I was tickled a great deal as a child, never to the point of physical harm, but to the point where I became afraid of being tickled. Even once I realised that there was a certain amount of pleasure mixed in with the fear, it took me years to accept it and overcome the fear.”

it put a few things into words, that I wasn't really sure how to.

and I also couldn’t agree more with, “I can understand how some people can be traumatized by too much tickling in their childhoods. For anyone to take such advantage of a child's vulnerability is a terrible thing.”

and, “If someone associates only bad things with tickling, then you MUST respect that. They may be willing to try getting over their trauma, but at their own pace.”

thanks for posting.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

The Miz has a thing about being pinned down. She gets upset when I do that...she alluded to events in a past relationship where the guy used the pinning down as a tool of abuse.
I got into a shouting match with this guy here many months ago about his non-consensual tastes. He made no apologies...got upset when I labeled him a rapist, because the non-consensual naturally veers off to the point where it is a violating act (Rape does not have to be penetration in my book. It can also be other physical, as well as psychological abuse, and even torture). He didn't stay long around here anyway...I guess being a pariah sucks, you know?

 

[BigJim]

Wise up people, Tickling is for consenting adults only (like our good selves). If everyone else enjoyed it as well, then everyone else would be doing it as well (after all they do that shagging thing don't they, without thinking 'How perverted is this').

I don't think I agree with that. Certainly tickling like we do at gatherings and see in videos is only for consenting adults, but tickling has many variations and degrees. Hell, I've tickled my younger cousins (younger as in 13 or 14 years old compared to my 25) and it was totally different to the way I've tickled ladies I've met from the community. For start it only lasted 5-10 seconds and there was no kind of serious restraint involved. When it finished I asked said cousin if she had learned her lesson and was going to stop giving me lip now, to which she dashed behind the nearest corner, gave me even more sass and waited with an almost expectant expression on her face. The little mare was actually daring me to do it again!

But I guess you were referring to the type of torturous tickling we do ourselves Toenus, so I'll agree with you. Using it on someone who truly finds it painful it never funny; especially if it's done as a type of bullying.

 

[BigJim]

I can't stand people who tickle kids to excess. Tickling is very intense. Many kids like it, but ONLY if it is brief, friendly, and low-key. Pinning a child down and tickling them is abuse, plain and simple. No wonder people who had that done to them turn against it. I mean, anything becomes torture if it's pushed far enough. How do you think a kid who was, say, bathed constantly until he bled would feel about water later on in life?

That's the point exactly! Well put Owen, I think you have it very clearly. 🙂

 

[U.N.Owen]

Thank you. The misuse of tickling as abuse is something I -- and, I'm pleased to say, many people here -- feel strongly about. I make it a rule here never to comment on things I don't like (the old, 'if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything' rule makes for a better forum, IMO). The only exception has been when a few individuals have defiantly defended attacking people against their wills. I find it hard to keep quiet then.

(NOT, repeat NOT, that I am accusing anyone in THIS thread of taking such a position.)

 

[TickleMantis]

The example I like to make to all the macho hetero guys, is how much would you enjoy being non-consensually tickled by Boy George (say).

I agree with the general consensus here. Not that I want to repeat what others have said but, not consensual tickling can go to far. Obviously it can be fun for a second or two, assuming the person hasn't had some traumatic experience etc. You really have to know the 'lee well if your going to go tickle without consent.

Other than a quick play or full consented tickling the actual torture should stay to the fiction.

The reason I quoted toneus79 here is because even though I don't believe you were trying to agitate anyone your example does annoy me. You seem to have automatically assumed that anyone preforming non-consensual tickling on a torturous or traumatic level is a 'macho hetero guy'. I've no doubt women and men of all sexual preferences have preformed non-consesual tickling on another at some point. Look at Mitchell's example (which I was sorry to hear about dude, that really sucks, I hope you gave the guy a firm beating, I would have) its probably a fair guess to say the guy who tickled him was a homosexual.

Cheers,

Scott

 

[BigJim]

Indeed not Mantis. Priscilla James, a girl, tickled a friend of hers for 25 minutes or so against her consent in an old TC video. (According to the blurb.)

 

[Oddjob0226]

I'M not giving up on tickling. You can take anything too far. Go have more than a few servings of refried beans and see what trama is about. Anything can go too far.

 

[edv]

I had an old girlfriend who had some even more serious issues with tickling than those alluded to in this thread. She was sexually abused as a child and her abuser would use tickling as a way to touch her. People who harm children should be locked up until a cure for pedophillia is found. Anyway, it's just something to ALWAYS be mindful of when you see someone react super negativley to tickling.

Peace

Ed

 

[KoocheeKoo]

A major reason my oldest sis hates being tickled so much? During a brief abusive marriage at age 18, her husband twice tied her to their bed and tickle her unmercifully....to the point of peeing on herself; to the point she blacked out (I didn't know this until a few days ago...I knew he tied her up and beat her, but not this). Kevin didn't do this to turn himself on, or out of a tickling fetish/ passion. He was an evil young man who enjoyed torturing others....he knew sis was ticklish, so he tortured her with it. He also beat her with a hammer while she was bound and gagged.

Tickling between consenting adults is wonderful (i.e. Traci and I) when there's love and complete trust between tickler and ticklee. Believe me, there was little love and no trust involved in the abuse my little sister suffered....and I'm just as angry that Kev tickled her senseless while she was helpless as when he beat her.

I also echo what others have said about tickling children. Mom tickled both me and sis, and we enjoyed it....it was just another way she showed us affection, like a big hug. On the other hand, when I was growing up...one of my great aunts I dreaded visiting. She tickled me to the point of losing my breath....until I was on the verge of panic (and wheezing from asthma). Until I was old enough to say "NO"! and big enough to stop it, I was honestly afraid of her. Even after reaching my teens, I never felt the same love for her as for my other great aunt BECAUSE she abused me (tickling me to excess against my will)...not even until the day she died three years ago 🙁