What happens if you are not a funny person?

[Chaneda]

Hey guys,

Well, for some reason whenever I meet someone they usually say I am a comical person at the very beginning and my randomness makes them laugh or whatnot and that causes them to enjoy hanging out with me. But very quickly I start to not become comical or funny at all to them and I always get the feeling people stop enjoying hanging out with me because I am no longer humorous.

I know maybe it's because my self-esteem is a bit below par, but I feel that to be comical is a feature that causes individuals to want to hang out or talk with you more often than not. I do not want to change who I am as a person and instead accept my being and love me for what I am capable of doing, but I feel as if other people do not accept me as I am and find that I am boring and uncool. If I try to force the comedy out of me they also stop hanging out with me because it appears to them as if I am forcing myself to be something that I am not.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know it is not possible for anyone to be funny ALL the time, but it seems like it nevertheless that said individuals capable of doing such do exist. What exactly should I do or think or say? I am sort of in a bluesy feeling over it, something that angers me because I know it's nothing to feel bad about, and yet I do for reasons I cannot consciously control.

Thanks for your time guys,

- Chaneda

 

[asutickler]

People who seem like they're funny "all the time" really aren't. They just know how to work humor into ther interpersonal relations in a way that is amusing without being annoying or repetitive. If you try hard to be funny all the time, you'll just wind up annoying people... Just try to relax and let things flow naturally. If you're a funny guy with a good sense of humor, it'll show on its own.

 

[sabaki]

You are right, being a funny person makes people want to hang out with you and talk to you -- at first. But I do not think being funny all the time is a worthwhile goal. Someone like that would bore me. Where's the real person beneath all those jokes? What is he like?

At first a comedian might interest me, but I could only stay interested in him if he were a person of substance and virtue.

I've seen your posts on that other forum. I think you're an unusually intelligent and articulate person with interesting thoughts. Either these people fail to recognize that, or they see it and it doesn't interest them. If the latter is the case, I think they're shallow and not worth your blues. If the former, maybe you need to open up more? I don't know what you're like in person, but people who have low self esteem often have trouble opening up to others.

 

[maniactickler]

Sense of humor has always been my best trait. im constantly joking around and being silly. it comes naturally to me. just dont try to force yourself to be funny. it has to come out naturally. you either have it or you dont.

 

[Chaneda]

Thanks

You are right, being a funny person makes people want to hang out with you and talk to you -- at first. But I do not think being funny all the time is a worthwhile goal. Someone like that would bore me. Where's the real person beneath all those jokes? What is he like?

At first a comedian might interest me, but I could only stay interested in him if he were a person of substance and virtue.

I've seen your posts on that other forum. I think you're an unusually intelligent and articulate person with interesting thoughts. Either these people fail to recognize that, or they see it and it doesn't interest them. If the latter is the case, I think they're shallow and not worth your blues. If the former, maybe you need to open up more? I don't know what you're like in person, but people who have low self esteem often have trouble opening up to others.

Thanks for your kind words. Yes, I admit I probably have somewhat of a low self-esteem and am constantly working on that. I am not shy, just quiet and not really sure of what to say around people, but that is not to say I do not like being around others.

I can see how someone who is a natural comic could eventually become irritating; it has happened to me with some of my jester friends before. I guess I have always believed that people, for the most part, prefer hanging out with those who can make them laugh with their wit or jokes. I guess my belief is wrong, or at least I hope so. In any event, I hope people I can meet in the future can accept me as I am, even if my humor is quite sober and I am not a laugh-a-minute guy. I prefer silence and quite a bit of quiet time to just think and enjoy the moment; this has made several people, I feel, experience some type of awkwardness around me. This silence even pervades my normal telephone conversations. I know no one can be chatty or funny all the time, but when he is neither most of the time I have figured that people would not enjoy his company in any shape or form.

Again, thanks for the kind words,

- Chaneda

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I try to be funny but even my fiance (now my ex) didn't even laugh at my jokes. I wish I could be funny like other people. For example, when I am hanging out with people and someone makes a funny comment, I think to myself, why didn't I think of saying that? Unfortunately, being funny doesn't seem to come naturally to me. However, I try to make up for it in other ways.

 

[Chaneda]

I try to be funny but even my fiance (now my ex) didn't even laugh at my jokes. I wish I could be funny like other people. For example, when I am hanging out with people and someone makes a funny comment, I think to myself, why didn't I think of saying that? Unfortunately, being funny doesn't seem to come naturally to me. However, I try to make up for it in other ways.

The same has happened to me several times Jen; my ex-girlfriends would even tell me to just shut up so as to not even try to tell any jokes because they knew they would not be funny and instead be groaners. What gets me though is that someone could tell a joke and everyone finds it hilarious but when I try to tell the same joke people don't get it. I guess we're in the same "not funny boat." But yeah, I try to make up for it too, mostly by being a "people reader" and connecting to people on an emotional level whenever possible.

Glad to see I'm not the only one. 😀

- Chaneda

 

[RobAce]

Being funny means taking the good with the bad. Not every joke or comical statement is going to make people split their sides. A lot of times with jokes its the delivery or even the person.
Ive done some stand up comedy on amatuer (however its spelled) nights and had a great deal of fun. There were nights I did great, and others I think the waitress that dropped a drink got more laughs than I did.

There is a natural flow to being one-liner funny, story funny or joke funny. Not everyone has it, but then again not everyone can sing (well) either.
It is something that can be learned, or honed after a time....it just takes a little practice and people willing to put up with hearing you.....lol.

Dont know if it helps, but thought Id chime in.

Rob

 

[steph]

Right. I'm with Rob.
Being funny has always been a talent of mine, it helped me cope with a tough home life as a kid and it helps me cope with a tough job now. I think I've been funny my whole life. Voted class clown at every high school I attended, I was even making people laugh as a baby before I could speak, my folks tell the most mortifying stories. Heck, check out the humor and silly stuff posts under my name and you'll get the drift. My friends joke it's almost physically impossible to not laugh when I'm in the room.

There are different levels, different kinds of funny. I'm more the "off the cuff" type of funny. I've cracked up people in the hospital elevator inside of a 30 second ride. I do it all the time.

But there's a downside. People don't like to take you seriously when you've something serious on your mind or they're too stupid to get that you're not "on" 24/7 and misunderstand what you say. I remember feeling heartbroken, so sad and lost, especially in high school, friends saying, "But YOU can't be HAVING a bad day, you're class clown~if you're sad, who will make US laugh?" (I wish I had a dime for everytime on that one, I could have seriously retired at 20.)

Here's the way I see it~we all want to think we can be everything, it's just not reality. I suck at math and science, REALLY hard to succeed in the medical field with that as my pathetic legacy. But I'm good at people, my patients connect with me almost instantly, almost 100% of the time. People I'm good at. I'm sure you're amazing at something. Try not to worry about maybe not necessarily being funny, but figure out what you do shine at and work THAT, the rest will fall into place.

XOXO

Being funny means taking the good with the bad. Not every joke or comical statement is going to make people split their sides. A lot of times with jokes its the delivery or even the person.
Ive done some stand up comedy on amatuer (however its spelled) nights and had a great deal of fun. There were nights I did great, and others I think the waitress that dropped a drink got more laughs than I did.

There is a natural flow to being one-liner funny, story funny or joke funny. Not everyone has it, but then again not everyone can sing (well) either.
It is something that can be learned, or honed after a time....it just takes a little practice and people willing to put up with hearing you.....lol.

Dont know if it helps, but thought Id chime in.

Rob