What not to say when you randomly IM a stranger from the TMF:

[BrightEyes1082]

Screename changed to protect the guilty. 🙂

RandomGuy: tmf?
everylittlebee: hi
everylittlebee: what?
RandomGuy: u from tmf?
everylittlebee: I am on the tmf
RandomGuy: haha good
RandomGuy: whats up
everylittlebee: you didn't know where you got my screenname from?
RandomGuy: haha couldnt remember
everylittlebee: 😵
RandomGuy: yeah
RandomGuy: asl?
everylittlebee: omg
everylittlebee: are you serious
RandomGuy: what?
everylittlebee: asl???
RandomGuy: haha yeah havent heard that in a while?
everylittlebee: I didn't think anyone did that over the age of 13
RandomGuy: haha yup
RandomGuy: i'm sorry
RandomGuy: how old are you?
everylittlebee: if you don't remember who I am and why you added me to your buddy list, and you don't remember if I'm a male or female, why did you bother to IM me?
RandomGuy: well i'm guessing you're a female
everylittlebee: good guess
everylittlebee: but still
everylittlebee: these are the most annoying type of IMs
RandomGuy: because we share a common interest
RandomGuy: i really apologize
everylittlebee: you thought, maybe!
RandomGuy: just wanted to meet some people from our community thats all
everylittlebee: I advise you to find out the sex of the person before you IM them and ask them for yourself..
everylittlebee: read profiles first, etc
RandomGuy: i did
RandomGuy: i knew u were a female
everylittlebee: clearly not
everylittlebee: then why asl?
RandomGuy: habit?
RandomGuy: i dunno
RandomGuy: i wouldnt save a guys screenname
everylittlebee: you really need to find a better approach
RandomGuy: i'm sorry
everylittlebee: I'm serious. Girls are not going to respond to that.
RandomGuy: i apologize
RandomGuy: once again
everylittlebee: just some friendly advice
RandomGuy: haha thank you
everylittlebee: "asl" screams socially retarded, or under age 13
everylittlebee: neither of which most women want to associate with
RandomGuy: haha fair enough
RandomGuy: you're right
everylittlebee: yup
everylittlebee: so what is your handle on the TMF?
RandomGuy: RandomGuyTMF
RandomGuy: i havent really posted
everylittlebee: why not?
RandomGuy: i dunno
RandomGuy: no time relly
everylittlebee: 😵
RandomGuy: yeah
everylittlebee: you have time to IM?
RandomGuy: haha
RandomGuy: i got a little time
everylittlebee: Honestly, posting on the TMF is a much better way to get to know others in the community than just randomly IMing strangers
RandomGuy: ok

 

[Deleted member 66627]

lulz.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Haha. You teached him!!

 

[Bugman]

I really do feel sorry for the lovely ladies here who have to put up with this kind of bs.And the nuts who do this wonder why we don't have more women posting..or who leave without a word.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

It's stuff like this that makes it hard for anybody, especially guys, to feel comfortable getting to know people. If these retards around here would put 2 seconds worth of effort into finding out about the people they're trying to get to know, this kind of thing wouldn't happen all the time. GRRR!! I mean, that guy seemed nice enough, and if he had gone about it a different way, maybe Amanda wouldn't have had to shatter him (which you did awesome-ly by the way LOL).

*sigh* these boys....

 

[Capnmad]

Lol! Poor bastard...

everylittlebee: read profiles first, etc
RandomGuy: i did
RandomGuy: i knew u were a female
everylittlebee: clearly not
everylittlebee: then why asl?

Because "al" would have been too confusing?:

everylittlebee: you didn't know where you got my screenname from?
RandomGuy: haha couldnt remember
everylittlebee: 😵
RandomGuy: yeah
RandomGuy: al?
everylittlebee: what?
RandomGuy: al?
everylittlebee: what do you mean, "al"?
everylittlebee: who's "al"?!
RandomGuy: well I would have asked "asl", but I know ur female, so just "al".
everylittlebee: *blinks*



That said, I had a rough start in netiquette when I began as well, and in the beginning, understood the "asl" request to be acceptable protocol. After all, you're just acquiring the data you would have normally in a face-to-face convo to orient yourself. Face-to-face, you can estimate age, you can tell their gender (hopefully), and they are clearly there -- in front of you.

Let's not be too harsh with those unacquainted in the ways of chat -- just harsh enough that they get the drift and learn properly. 🙂

 

[Marquis De Sade]

It's stuff like this that makes it hard for anybody, especially guys, to feel comfortable getting to know people. If these retards around here would put 2 seconds worth of effort into finding out about the people they're trying to get to know, this kind of thing wouldn't happen all the time. GRRR!! I mean, that guy seemed nice enough, and if he had gone about it a different way, maybe Amanda wouldn't have had to shatter him (which you did awesome-ly by the way LOL).

*sigh* these boys....

Wait...why would that make it hard for guys to meet people? 😕

 

[vladtickleman22]

Hahahaha. Go BrightEyes!

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Lol! Poor bastard...



Because "al" would have been too confusing?:

everylittlebee: you didn't know where you got my screenname from?
RandomGuy: haha couldnt remember
everylittlebee: 😵
RandomGuy: yeah
RandomGuy: al?
everylittlebee: what?
RandomGuy: al?
everylittlebee: what do you mean, "al"?
everylittlebee: who's "al"?!
RandomGuy: well I would have asked "asl", but I know ur female, so just "al".
everylittlebee: *blinks*



That said, I had a rough start in netiquette when I began as well, and in the beginning, understood the "asl" request to be acceptable protocol. After all, you're just acquiring the data you would have normally in a face-to-face convo to orient yourself. Face-to-face, you can estimate age, you can tell their gender (hopefully), and they are clearly there -- in front of you.

Let's not be too harsh with those unacquainted in the ways of chat -- just harsh enough that they get the drift and learn properly. 🙂

Yeah... it is acceptable netiquette... when you're in middle
school! I really don't think it's too much to ask to find out
the basics about a person before IMing them. And if you
don't, ask them in a respectable way! Such as, what area
do you live in? And age is just a rude question. 🙂

 

[Capnmad]

I'm not defending his lack of netiquette. Of course he needs to learn, and making his errors clear to him is part of that, so he can find his way.

I really don't think it's too much to ask to find out the basics about a person before IMing them.

Maybe not. But then, people have different experiences, abilities, and deficiencies. Expecting people to act the way you wish them to act is the surest way to be let down.

And if you don't, ask them in a respectable way! Such as, what area do you live in?

An excellent suggestion I agree with whole-heartedly. It's good to be part of his learning, and to take a moment to explain that to him, if you wish, and maybe help make him a little less awkward for the next young woman he approaches. Everyone has a lot to teach and a lot to learn.

And age is just a rude question. 🙂

Subjective. But okay, I get that it could be perceived as rude. And insinuating that someone else is acting like a child, when in fact, they may just be ignorant or unaccustomed to chat culture, may be seen by some as rude as well:

Yeah... it is acceptable netiquette... when you're in middle school!

Hm.

I sympathize with the plight of women here constantly put upon by the barrage of sometimes awkward men seeking to chat, etc. Do I think it's your obligation to educate them on netiquette? No. Of course not.

At the same time, to the degree that one side tries to extend courtesy to the other, perhaps people should consider how well it's reciprocated. While I saw his approach was awkward and bumbling, I saw nothing rude about it.

 

[tklee88]

LMAO!!!!!!!! Yay for random scary people sending you IM's....that's why I removed all my information hahaha. I think the same person sent me and IM as well....I love when they ask who YOU are first...that is my favorite. I'm like...really? You are going to IM ME to ask who I am...don't think so.

 

[Sandrock74]

The way he kept typing "haha" was a bit scary. I never heard of an online nervous tic! I think that he is either A) an underage teenager or B) socially retarded

Maybe he will get lucky with this approach one day.

 

[locker669]

He didn't get pissed when you compared him to a retard and he didn't resort to name calling when it was obvious he messed up. He doesn't sound as bad as everyone thinks.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Hahahaha what a goof.

 

[EcEu]

He didn't get pissed when you compared him to a retard and he didn't resort to name calling when it was obvious he messed up. He doesn't sound as bad as everyone thinks.

i don't know about where you are, but from where i come from, you make sure you know who you are talking to and your introduce yourself to the person you are talking to and let them know where you come from, and under no circumstances do you go and ask for the age, sex, and location of the person you're talking to -_-

 

[drew70]

So "ASL screams socially retarded, or under age 13" does it? Perhaps you should have educated him to more suave and mature terms like ZOMG, LULZY, and EPICAL WIN!!!!!!!!

That would teach him a thing or two!

Seriously though, Amanda, it looked to me like you were excessively hard on this guy for no good reason. Were you in a bad mood or something?
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[Adam]

*shakes head*

Yeah, this is exactly the kind of stuff that I make fun of on a regular basis. There was a guy a few months back that made the big "I'm leaving the forum" announcement after a grand total of 28 posts, a lot of which were in that very thread. Why?

lohlz cuz gurlz woant annser mee roflmao

OK, so he didn't say that, but it wasn't that far off. Want to make some connections on the TMF? Post. Not just about tickling, either. Pick a thread or two in General Discussion and contribute to it. People get a better idea of who you are that way. But then, I've been preaching this for what seems like forever. Sorry you had to put up with that, Brighty.

 

[Sandrock74]

*shakes head*

Yeah, this is exactly the kind of stuff that I make fun of on a regular basis. There was a guy a few months back that made the big "I'm leaving the forum" announcement after a grand total of 28 posts, a lot of which were in that very thread. Why?

lohlz cuz gurlz woant annser mee roflmao

OK, so he didn't say that, but it wasn't that far off. Want to make some connections on the TMF? Post. Not just about tickling, either. Pick a thread or two in General Discussion and contribute to it. People get a better idea of who you are that way. But then, I've been preaching this for what seems like forever. Sorry you had to put up with that, Brighty.

I remember the thread! I had to force myself not to post "so?" in response to his earth shaking announcement.

 

[xionking]

It's stuff like this that makes it hard for anybody, especially guys, to feel comfortable getting to know people. If these retards around here would put 2 seconds worth of effort into finding out about the people they're trying to get to know, this kind of thing wouldn't happen all the time. GRRR!! I mean, that guy seemed nice enough, and if he had gone about it a different way, maybe Amanda wouldn't have had to shatter him (which you did awesome-ly by the way LOL).

*sigh* these boys....

Umm...what?

The whole point of him asking those questions was so he could get to know her.

You guys can't criticise another person because their approach of getting to know another person (online might I add) is different to yours.

Man, this is my forth post tonight in a bunch of different threads...

What the hell is happening to this forum?

Geez, for fuck sake, he just wanted to know your age and sex. Conversation starter. What, do you expect him to study your profile to make sure they are equipped with the right knowledge so they can avoid having to earn their right to speak to you, Brighteyes? Are you that important?

Well, if you are that important, please excuse me if I'm speaking out of line here, Madam.

I saw two things out of that conversation, Brighteyes.

1) The guy was just trying to make conversation with you, regardless of his approach.

2) You were completely arrogant towards him, and I know why. Because you have 1,688 posts and he has probably how many? Hardly that amount.

You've been here longer therefore it's your right to demand that he approach a conversation with you differently? You're approach is better than his? Therefore you must embaress the guy by posting this rubbish on these forums, futher reinforcing how difficult it is for lurkers to find their place here on a tickling forum that is progressively becoming snobbier and snobbier.

And Capnmad, don't call the guy a "poor bastard". You reckon that helps the guy?

Wow, I never thought the day would come where I'd say that I'm ashamed to share a tickling fetish with some of the people on here.

-Xionking

 

[ViperGTS]

Well...two things.

Yes, asking "asl" is something that most people stop asking sometime in high school. However, it's not much different from asking someone in a bar, "what's your sign?" or "Where are you from?"

I think you treated him a little bit harshly. He was trying to meet someone new from the TMF whom, he thought, had a similar interest. By attempting to learn more about you, he incurred your wrath, and I don't think that's fair.

Now, if you don't wish to talk to someone who asks you questions like "asl", you could have simply ignored him or blocked his screename.

Or, answered the question, and seen where the conversation goes.

Either way, attacking him and telling him that he'll never meet women that way is simply your opinion, not fact, and I just don't think it was a fair way to react. The block button is VERY easy to click. 🙂

 

[Artoo]

Heh.

We've all goofed up on online chats before, it's one big learning curve. I tend to be a little more suave than that now, but it wasn't that many years ago when I was randomguyTMF.

Although ASL tends to be something that gets asked by teenagers, ask yourself if you'd have answered the question if he had typed out the questions in full sentances?

 

[Capnmad]

And Capnmad, don't call the guy a "poor bastard". You reckon that helps the guy?

I respect your point of view, Xion, and to be honest, I thought about that after the fact and thought my post could have done without it. But there it was, and there it stays. I use "poor bastard" for a number of unfortunate souls when speaking among friends, and it's less a comment on him than on the circumstance he found himself in and to which he contributed through a bit of ineptitude.

Do I reckon it helps? No. Do I think starting a thread like this helps? Not for the individual. And so does my contributing here, and keeping said thread alive drag out however much the individual may feel embarrassed? Quite possibly.

But it's not a cut and dry world, and some sacrifices should be made for greater benefits.

Still, I always appreciate hearing your view, man.

 

[xionking]

I respect your point of view, Xion, and to be honest, I thought about that after the fact and thought my post could have done without it. But there it was, and there it stays. I use "poor bastard" for a number of unfortunate souls when speaking among friends, and it's less a comment on him than on the circumstance he found himself in and to which he contributed through a bit of ineptitude.

Do I reckon it helps? No. Do I think starting a thread like this helps? Not for the individual. And so does my contributing here, and keeping said thread alive drag out however much the individual may feel embarrassed? Quite possibly.

But it's not a cut and dry world, and some sacrifices should be made for greater benefits.

Still, I always appreciate hearing your view, man.

I hear what you're saying, Capnmad. And in that context, he is a poor bastard. Everybody on here deserves to be treated equally and be given a fair go.

There are exceptions to the rules, however. Like if you're creepy, and instead of asking for a/s/l, you ask for something like l/w/h. No women wants to tell a man their surface area.

-Xionking

 

[DimpleToes]

actually.. anyone who ask me ASL.. I give a smart ass answer.if I even respond.. for if they even bothered to look at my profile would know most of those questions... that just shows there ingnorance inmy mind and I usually dont respond..

 

[BlackestLily]

Well, it's within his right to IM you and within your right to respond however you see fit. Posting a conversation though on the forum for all to see seems a bit "Scarlet Letter" Hester Prinn-ish to me.