CrystalLight said:
Regardless of what could develop or build from that, it doesn't mean that it's going to over-run where I feel most comfortable, which is as a bottom/sub.
This is true, but your sexuality is not a set of little boxes that are all neatly separated. They connect, like a maze of twisty little passages. What goes into one 'box' might pop out in another by surprise. Perhaps in two or three others. Looking at ones sexuality as less then a whole is useful for understanding it, but doing so when you are trying to see how it will develop or be touched by something, is a path to surprise.
You are a whole woman, with a whole sexuality. What touches one point can mark another. How much, how hard, how long? All unknown. Just saying that while it might look simple to break it all up into neat boxes, in practice it's not so simple. And in fact in the long run keeping those 'walls' strong and steady might be more expensive to do then imagined.
It sucks to find that you NEED to contain something much more then it does to avoid it, or keep it out in the first place.
CrystalLight said:
See, I don't really understand how it could be considered part of my sexuality, if no actual sexual interaction is happening. I could see if it was sex-based as well as play-based, but in this discussion it's not.
You might be making the division on the objective mental level, but would you on the others once you found what was needful for you to provide good service?
I'm not saying that the service is sexual by strict standards. But such interactions are based around the exchange of cash for SOMETHING. And what I hold is that for the person paying the bill, that something has an aspect of desire for some form of intimacy involved. That is not sexual per say, but it's close. And since the service you'd be providing would touch on an aspect of the clients sexual desires the line of exactly what it is becomes pretty blurry. It's going to fall into the realm of sexual service in some way.
This in turn means that you are going to be dealing with 'energy' in the interaction that has sexual and intimate elements. To totally be able to detach from that with ones own responses is difficult, and in some ways doing so is a path to some times of self-damage itself. It leads to a habitual closing off of the self. Makes it harder to accept things when one is with people you WANT to share yourself with.
CrystalLight said:
So although I'd be doing something that in a DIFFERENT way I'm tied to sexually, that doesn't mean that it'll be damaged because of the way I'm using or applying it.
Perhaps nothing will happen to you. But one does not know. The parts of our minds are not as easily cut off from each other as you may think. And when they are, that is often a worse thing.
CrystalLight said:
How? How would that or could that become an issue? Someone gets off on something you're doing. More or less idolizing happens, so what? It's not like they can succeed in becoming needy or clingy, since there's no established relationship. They knew the deal when they agreed to it.
It comes in the form of responsibility. Your clients will come to you not fully knowing what they even seek sometimes. Oh, they know or think they want to have the crap tickled out of them, but do they know why? Do they understand what they are getting from the session? Often no. But that does not stop them from holding expectations for how they will feel when it's all done.
As the sexual service provider, if you are a 'good' one. You'll be working to understand what the underlying motivation is under their desire for a session, and sculpting your sessions to speak to that want/desire. It's the difference between being a good service provider and a quick buck one is.
Based on how you are on forum, I find it hard to believe you'd do a half assed job with a client. So you will be taking on the weight and responsibilities of that often unspoken (and often unknown) expectation and that places you directly in the center of an intimate part of another's life.
And that is a trust and responsibility.
What will it cost to hold those?
In all of this, I'm not saying that you can't handle this sort of work, nor that any of this 'bad' side WILL happen to you if you do. But I'm hoping to point out the potential costs that you might find calling, with collection notices in hand.
Myriads
I agree with mils on the comments regarding the Passive Arts, etc places and tickling done right. Legal/illegal/loophole/varies state to state, I do not know. I worry about anyone today that buys/sells services for cash to/from strangers. The Craigslist cases are just the latest to be broadcast. Maybe Passive Arts can franchise and come to a city near us all. "Billions and Billions tickled".
