Hello folks,
I don't even know where to begin. I got a call today from an Uncle I haven't heard from in years. What he told me blew my mind....
"(My real name)...Your Father passed away..."
Ever have that feeling when time stands still? That was me. I was in complete shock to hear this news. My Father was 71 years old, so I knew eventually the day would come. But you are NEVER ready for that news. Ever. I broke down. My Father is no longer here? Man, this hurts....
He lived in Kansas for the last 20 years. My parents divorced way back in 1982, so I was never close with him, but he was my Father. Everything I did in life, I wanted to make my parents proud. I never did drugs. I never drank alcohol. I busted my ass in school so I could get good grades. I bust my ass at work to be successful. In part, I did it to make my parents proud. I never ever wanted to hear these words uttered by either parent, "Son, I am disappointed in you." Thankfully I never have. Not too long ago, my Father told me, "Son, you have always made me proud.."
I remember as a little boy, when my parents were still married (circa the 1970's), I remember when my Father would watch football with me. He would even lie on the bed and throw the football to me, like he was Terry Bradshaw and I was Lynn Swann. I would dash across the room and try to make the acrobatci catches, just like Lynn did when we watch the football games together. He taught me how to catch. He taught me about sports. My love of sports started because my Father introduced me to them and taught me how to play.
I remember watching the "Showtime" Lakers in the 80's and my Father was a huge Laker fan. That's probably where I got my Laker love from. I remember how excited we would get when Magic Johnson would pass the ball to James Worthy for a slam dunk! Even after my parents were divorced, we still watched sports together. Those were the greatest times.
He got me really into music as a child. There was always music playing when I was growing up. I remember my Father listening to Marvin Gaye. I remember when he would always play Stevie Wonder's song "Isn't she lovely" for my little sister. I remember riding around in his Oldsmobile, listening to songs like "Double Dutch Bus" (Frankie Smith), "Love come down" (Evelyn "Champagne" King), "Juicy Fruit" (Mtume), and "The Girl is mine" (Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney). My Father taught me a lot about music. To this day, when I hear those songs, and others, I always go back to my childhood and spending time with my Father.
My Father is also responsible for this candy habit I have. I remember my Mother telling him not to buy me or my sister candy. He did it anyway. I will never forget the first time he brought Skittles home. I have been hooked on Skittles ever since. He also loved Honey Nut Cheerios, and my sister and I used to woof it down with him when we spent the weekend at his house.
I remember when I was in 2nd grade, and I was in a spelling bee. It was down to me and some other kid and the last word to spell was "too". As you know, that word is a pain to remember because of the different spellings for the same pronunciation. The other kid already messed up and it was on me. I ended up getting the word right, and the sweetest moment was my Father congratulating me, and telling me how proud he was of his son.
Damn.....this is killing me....
Although we were never "close", he was my Father. Who I am today had a lot to do with him. He was very intelligient, and very well liked. Apparantely he was a "Ladies man". That's no joke, he was. That was one thing I didn't get from him. LOL. I was never the "ladies man" my Father was. I never will be. But, that's what made him "Him".
Writing this is hard. I just found out today. Although I haven't seen him since May 2008, or talked to him in a few months, I loved my Father. I always will. I am proud I am his son. What I truly regret right now is that I did not get married, or have a grandchild for him to see. I always wanted my Father to see me get married, so he could have that proud moment of watching his son get married. I always wanted my Father to see a grandchild from me. He is a grandfather with his other kids, but I wanted him to see mine. I am the last one with our last name. I wanted him to see a son from me, knowing the last name was in good hands. I do regret not accomplishing that. I do plan to carry on the tradition of my family where a son's middle name will be the Father's first name. My middle name is my father's first name, and God willing, if I have a son, he will have my name as his middle name.
I will always keep trying to make my Father proud. Watching his happiness over something good I've done, always drove me to do well. Feeling that pride from your parents is like nothing else. Now, my Father is gone, but he will not be forgotten. If I do have a child, he/she will know of their grandfather. They will know who helped shaped me as the Man I am. I am glad I told him that I love him, and always will. Even if we don't talk all the time, I am glad I let him know just how much he did mean to me.
I love you Daddy....
October 8, 1938 - February 20, 2010
R.I.P.
I don't even know where to begin. I got a call today from an Uncle I haven't heard from in years. What he told me blew my mind....
"(My real name)...Your Father passed away..."
Ever have that feeling when time stands still? That was me. I was in complete shock to hear this news. My Father was 71 years old, so I knew eventually the day would come. But you are NEVER ready for that news. Ever. I broke down. My Father is no longer here? Man, this hurts....
He lived in Kansas for the last 20 years. My parents divorced way back in 1982, so I was never close with him, but he was my Father. Everything I did in life, I wanted to make my parents proud. I never did drugs. I never drank alcohol. I busted my ass in school so I could get good grades. I bust my ass at work to be successful. In part, I did it to make my parents proud. I never ever wanted to hear these words uttered by either parent, "Son, I am disappointed in you." Thankfully I never have. Not too long ago, my Father told me, "Son, you have always made me proud.."
I remember as a little boy, when my parents were still married (circa the 1970's), I remember when my Father would watch football with me. He would even lie on the bed and throw the football to me, like he was Terry Bradshaw and I was Lynn Swann. I would dash across the room and try to make the acrobatci catches, just like Lynn did when we watch the football games together. He taught me how to catch. He taught me about sports. My love of sports started because my Father introduced me to them and taught me how to play.
I remember watching the "Showtime" Lakers in the 80's and my Father was a huge Laker fan. That's probably where I got my Laker love from. I remember how excited we would get when Magic Johnson would pass the ball to James Worthy for a slam dunk! Even after my parents were divorced, we still watched sports together. Those were the greatest times.
He got me really into music as a child. There was always music playing when I was growing up. I remember my Father listening to Marvin Gaye. I remember when he would always play Stevie Wonder's song "Isn't she lovely" for my little sister. I remember riding around in his Oldsmobile, listening to songs like "Double Dutch Bus" (Frankie Smith), "Love come down" (Evelyn "Champagne" King), "Juicy Fruit" (Mtume), and "The Girl is mine" (Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney). My Father taught me a lot about music. To this day, when I hear those songs, and others, I always go back to my childhood and spending time with my Father.
My Father is also responsible for this candy habit I have. I remember my Mother telling him not to buy me or my sister candy. He did it anyway. I will never forget the first time he brought Skittles home. I have been hooked on Skittles ever since. He also loved Honey Nut Cheerios, and my sister and I used to woof it down with him when we spent the weekend at his house.
I remember when I was in 2nd grade, and I was in a spelling bee. It was down to me and some other kid and the last word to spell was "too". As you know, that word is a pain to remember because of the different spellings for the same pronunciation. The other kid already messed up and it was on me. I ended up getting the word right, and the sweetest moment was my Father congratulating me, and telling me how proud he was of his son.
Damn.....this is killing me....
Although we were never "close", he was my Father. Who I am today had a lot to do with him. He was very intelligient, and very well liked. Apparantely he was a "Ladies man". That's no joke, he was. That was one thing I didn't get from him. LOL. I was never the "ladies man" my Father was. I never will be. But, that's what made him "Him".
Writing this is hard. I just found out today. Although I haven't seen him since May 2008, or talked to him in a few months, I loved my Father. I always will. I am proud I am his son. What I truly regret right now is that I did not get married, or have a grandchild for him to see. I always wanted my Father to see me get married, so he could have that proud moment of watching his son get married. I always wanted my Father to see a grandchild from me. He is a grandfather with his other kids, but I wanted him to see mine. I am the last one with our last name. I wanted him to see a son from me, knowing the last name was in good hands. I do regret not accomplishing that. I do plan to carry on the tradition of my family where a son's middle name will be the Father's first name. My middle name is my father's first name, and God willing, if I have a son, he will have my name as his middle name.
I will always keep trying to make my Father proud. Watching his happiness over something good I've done, always drove me to do well. Feeling that pride from your parents is like nothing else. Now, my Father is gone, but he will not be forgotten. If I do have a child, he/she will know of their grandfather. They will know who helped shaped me as the Man I am. I am glad I told him that I love him, and always will. Even if we don't talk all the time, I am glad I let him know just how much he did mean to me.
I love you Daddy....
October 8, 1938 - February 20, 2010
R.I.P.
