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My Best Friend's Girl

all she really is saying is to man-up and tell his friend
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Exactly. But still, the guys in here amaze me! Everybody I know and have ever met would be really really pissed off if someone did that to them! And a blowjob is not as bad as sex? Guys! It's the same thing! For some people even more intimate than sex, some girls won't even DO it! There are a lot of Bill Clintons around here!

but if she cheated on him, then he's doing something wrong and isn't satisfying her.
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O boy...so not true!! If that was the reason, why would she be giving the other guy a blowjob? Why'd she even be staying with him if she's that drop-dead beautiful? Is that really the only reason you could think of why someone would cheat on someone else?

It's hard to believe, but the OP seems to be one of the most decent guys who posted on here although he is the one who fooled around with his best friend's girlfriend! At least he DOES feel guilty about it!
 
rhiannon said:
Exactly. But still, the guys in here amaze me! Everybody I know and have ever met would be really really pissed off if someone did that to them! And a blowjob is not as bad as sex? Guys! It's the same thing! For some people even more intimate than sex, some girls won't even DO it! There are a lot of Bill Clintons around here!



O boy...so not true!! If that was the reason, why would she be giving the other guy a blowjob? Why'd she even be staying with him if she's that drop-dead beautiful? Is that really the only reason you could think of why someone would cheat on someone else?

It's hard to believe, but the OP seems to be one of the most decent guys who posted on here although he is the one who fooled around with his best friend's girlfriend! At least he DOES feel guilty about it!
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Did you not see the part about how his friend owns a "high end construction business"? She probably stays for the financial security - whether you believe women would do that or not.
 
Did you not see the part about how his friend owns a "high end construction business"? She probably stays for the financial security - whether you believe women would do that or not.
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Oh, I know women would do that.....but I already said she's a slut, it's for sure not her partner's fault if she cheats that easily. I still think the only solution in this is him to tell his best friend. He either won't care (who knows, maybe they even have an open relationship), or he will save him from a real bitch which would at least be something that a best friend does. So the action was not great, but maybe the outcome can be somewhat good!
 
rhiannon said:
Oh, I know women would do that.....but I already said she's a slut, it's for sure not her partner's fault if she cheats that easily. I still think the only solution in this is him to tell his best friend. He either won't care (who knows, maybe they even have an open relationship), or he will save him from a real bitch which would at least be something that a best friend does. So the action was not great, but maybe the outcome can be somewhat good!
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Oh, there's no question she's a slut. But it could be a combination of everything for all we know. The outcome could go either way really, but yeah, there's always chance things will turn out for the better.
 
Everyone here made unfortunate decisions.

Currently said decisions are laying about like a deck of scattered cards.

The Best Friend may become aware of what happened. He might become aware that he pissed his GF off by having strippers about. The GF may tell him to make sure he knows she was pissed off about strippers. The OP is feeling guilty that he indulged with his friends girl. The OP might feel an obligation to tell his BF that his girl is a bit loose with sexual interactions. And so on and so forth.

In short it's a fracking mess.

OP, you've tangled yourself into two other peoples lives. That is the end result of your actions. The whys and hows don't matter so much as the result on the ground. You have become tangled in a couples relationship, and its problems.

Not a great place to be. Mostly because it's not your problem nor one that you can solve. You are a symptom. Collateral damage. This does not make you blameless. You exercised very poor judgement. You get to make a moral choice. Own up and offload your guilt and take whatever comes, or shut up and deal with what could come, and own your own guilt.

There are pluses and minuses to both paths. Each one can be justified. But only you can pick the one you can live with. Both have costs. Pick the one you feel you can afford.

Myriads
 
Nice post, Myriads.

Rhi: Is it possible that you could make a point without devolving into personal attacks and name calling? I also don't understand your correlation between my/others stating that there are differing levels to sexuality -- as opposed to a black/white one -- and myself/others being indecent people.
 
EL: I just don't understand how anything sexual going on between someone and their best friend's partner could be in any way "not that bad". Where I live, it's the worst thing you can do to someone, a horrible breach of trust. But maybe things are different in the US, I don't know that.
 
Let me just put it this way: if my partner cheated on me with some acquaintance at a bar, I could forgive that. If he did it with my best friend, they'd both be dead meat. And then here I read comments of guys congratulating him for having such a great experience - that just doesn't get into my head, but maybe someone can explain it to me.
 
Fair enough.

I think that the American media has desensitized America to sex/sexuality (it's in a lot of pop culture, it's in politics, etc), which in turn allowed for a reassessment of acceptable/unacceptable behavior. Not saying that what happened was acceptable, but rather that there are worse things that could have happened.

I do understand your viewpoint, but I also think that it only looks at specifically what has happened rather than what could have happened, if that makes sense. It's still, as I said, not the best thing in the world -- far from it, it's still cheating -- but it's also not like... it was a recurring series of events, or a mediated event.. or even that it went as far as it could have at the time.

I just feel that as far as cheating goes, it wasn't full blown sex, and it was only a one time event. Still cheating, still sucks, still a jerk move, but.

The main thing, the main problem here, is that we don't know the situation to it's fullest to completely judge it. I think the girl's reasoning/thought processes here are much more important and, without them, too difficult to say it was necessarily a completely bad thing. I mean, mistakes happen, sure. The real point of interest is if this is a first time occurrence.

But, mostly, I think America is just... unnecessarily open about sex. And that's probably the main difference we have.

-And I'll agree that the congratulations are kind of dick.
 
But, mostly, I think America is just... unnecessarily open about sex.
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Actually I always got the complete opposite impression! 🙂 I work for the US Army....we have to be briefed annually about sexual harrassment and sexual assault (seriously, as a man you can't even talk to a woman without having to worry about sexually harrassing her was the feeling I get), and there were spouses who wanted a gas station across from a base to take their magazines which had naked women on the covers off the shelves......so....I always thought you are NOT as open about sex as we are here. 🙂

This whole situation is just weird...you know, I would kind of understand it if it happened slowly, over a time, you know, them learning to know each other, maybe him seeing that his best friend treated his girlfriend bad and she confided in him....then I can see and understand something happening. But like that, the first time they meet, just getting drunk and hitting it off? That is just wrong in so many ways.

Not saying that what happened was acceptable, but rather that there are worse things that could have happened.
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Humha....I don't know. 🙂 If my partner does something with my best friend, I won't think "O well, you only banged her....at least she's not pregnant!" 🙂 That's just not how it works! 🙂 And as I said before, a blowjob is far more intimate than full blown sex....to most people I know, it's something very special.
 
Let me first say, that this story is the stuff of a ler's dreams (minus the doing it with your best friend's gf). And let me follow it up with, that was TOTALLY effed up!! Green + alcohol = Propensity to make Bad Decisions in certain situations. All that said, seems like you were conscious of the extreme level of f**ked up'ness of fooling around with your friend's girl by not wanting to be seen. I'm not gonna act like I would even know what to do in this situation, but worst case scenario, you had the experience of a lifetime (silver lining)
 
Sorry but you were definitely wrong for that. Fine, innocent tickling is all good. The part that never should not have happened is the bj special So with that said your best bet is to either stay in hiding cause your vest friend WILL find out, and when he does he probably will beat the daylights out of you and kick his cheating gf to the curb as he he should. Who by the way is more in the wrong than you. If anything take it to Jerry Springer. Good luck.
 
LOL, oh man what have I started lol, then again Jerry would get some ratings from this one lol. However, to add to my previous post to the gentleman, who orginally started this thread. if you do decide to let your best friend know what happened, I think he'd have more respect for you coming to him like a man about the situation, as opposed to him finding out WAY down the line or from his girlfriend, which I doubt he will because it sounded as if she initiated that last part. Yes, he will be upset as he rightfully should, but I mean if you guys are best friends, don't allow a situation like this to comprompromise a good friendship. What will be, will be.
 
don't allow a situation like this to comprompromise a good friendship.
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I would say a situation like this will END every friendship! A friend is someone you can trust - in every situation. Who would want a friend you can't leave alone with your partner?
 
rhiannon said:
I would say a situation like this will END every friendship! A friend is someone you can trust - in every situation. Who would want a friend you can't leave alone with your partner?
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If they've been friends for a long time, I don't see it ENDING the friendship. However, the trust will be severed, and I doubt the OP will be allowed around any of his friends gf's from now on (and of course the current one for the that matter, if she's not kicked to the curb). He might not even want to hang out except if it's all guy friends or alone.

But yeah, this is entirely up to personality and it very well may just be the end of it all.
 
Coldneck, you KNEW what was happening and you did it anyway.
Being drunk or wasted is a poor excuse to betray you friend's trust.
When you started kissing 'like your plane was going down', you should have stopped it RIGHT then and there. Then you should have told your friend that you kissed her, BUT stopped it before it went further. Let HIM decide how to handle it BEFORE anything else happened.
Who knows, he might have said, "Go for it". THEN you could indulge yourself guilt-free.
Now it's too late.
Even if he never finds out, how can you look at him in face and NOT feel like shit?
Put yourself in HIS place. How would YOU feel if he did that with YOUR girlfriend?
I hope the few minutes of pleasure was worth risking your friendship.
 
What he did was wrong. No doubt. You just don't sleep/fool around/flirt/get blowjobs from your best friend's girl. You just DON'T.

However, I think we are all rushing to judgement. Think about it. For one, just how long and just how serious was this relationship between the girl and the best friend. Certain things stand out. For example, the dude HIRED STRIPPERS and brought his girlfriend too? The fact that the guy did not pay attention to her at all while ogling strippers would have me believe maybe their relationship is not very strong.

Second, the girl was walking around telling everyone else that the OP was her boyfriend, when people should already know that she is in a "relationship" with the best friend. Don't you find that a tad bit strange? I'm guessing that the best friend and the girl were involved in some sort of relationship, but just how serious were they?

Not only did they drink, they also were smoking some of that sticky icky icky...Talk about impairing judgement. So here we have it. A "loose sounding" relationship. Weed+alcohol. Two people obviously attracted to each other. What happened between the two should have been expected. Not the smartest thing in the world, but expected....
 
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