Fustration

[duderino84]

... and so did Rabbit Hole. The tiny diffference being that he manages to do so without being unfriendly towards other people. I understand that it is hard to understand how a true depression feels unless you have been in one. However, it might be worthwhile to invest in some thoughts about how your postings appear to the general public, in particular on this forum or sites like kitzelseite (if you are German?), where nice(!) people at least have a shot of finding their next tickle date or even a partner that is into the same sports.

Ok do tickle dates happen or not? I've heard at least a hundred views on "oh you should wait and NEVER tickle until you're established" or the other side that doesn't care. Or the side that just doesn't want you to get carried away. Or the side that says "no fetishes until AFTER sex". Honestly, I would say timing should be the biggest issue of this fetish.

 

[chicago]

Ok do tickle dates happen or not? I've heard at least a hundred views on "oh you should wait and NEVER tickle until you're established" or the other side that doesn't care. Or the side that just doesn't want you to get carried away. Or the side that says "no fetishes until AFTER sex". Honestly, I would say timing should be the biggest issue of this fetish.

Timing is key. And like a lot of things, you only learn how to do it from experience. Bring it up too soon, and you're going to look like a one-track-mind pervert. Wait too long and you risk falling for someone that is not open minded to trying it, or worse, can't even express their unwillingness to try it in a polite loving way. Things to remember are - having a tickling fetish, or any fetish (aside from some that most can agree are dangerous or illegal) is not as "bad" or "crazy" as some might believe. It only becomes a problem if one feels it is negatively affecting relationships they have or their sex life. And everyone gets rejected many times in life. "When to bring it up" is going to be different to each person and likely different for each relationship you have. It's not an easy conversation to have, but it gets easier the more you do it. Being ashamed about it can set up the conversation to be negative and perhaps is a sign that one needs to address their own feelings towards the subject of tickling before bringing another person into it.

 

[duderino84]

I usually stick with the pervert route...if I'm online dating I put it out there so the person can decide whether or not she can deal.....

 

[chicago]

I usually stick with the pervert route...if I'm online dating I put it out there so the person can decide whether or not she can deal.....

Right, well that medium is all about instant gratification and most assume that the people they're going to talk to on there are either lying about who they are or are only interested in getting off, so social norms are understandably lowered and base behavior is more accepted. Just my .02

 

[duderino84]

Right, well that medium is all about instant gratification and most assume that the people they're going to talk to on there are either lying about who they are or are only interested in getting off, so social norms are understandably lowered and base behavior is more accepted. Just my .02

Yea I don't really know. But considering what you're saying maybe I gotta crop some of the reality out of my profiles since that scene isn't too active.

I never really got out there with real life because I never seem to say the right things to the right people or the other reality, which is people are pretty shut in....

So are you trying to say tickle dates don't exist?

 

[chicago]

Yea I don't really know. But considering what you're saying maybe I gotta crop some of the reality out of my profiles since that scene isn't too active.

I never really got out there with real life because I never seem to say the right things to the right people or the other reality, which is people are pretty shut in....

So are you trying to say tickle dates don't exist?

I have no idea what you mean by a 'tickle date.' I mean, I know people meet each other from here all the time, either one on one or at a gathering. I don't think it's the best idea to meet up with a stranger for tickling without first getting to know them a bit or at least meeting them in a public place first, but I'm sure it happens a lot. I just think doing so can be risky since this is a fetish based website and not ChristianMingle.com lol

 

[duderino84]

berlinerbaer brought it up. I would assume its a date where....well you see how much you can make the other person laugh.

Lol people here don't exactly "reach out", so here I wouldn't expect to meet ppl. I had one tickle date from ok Cupid (the girl in question was almost as into it as I was and lured me out to meet her), but the hotter the fire the faster the water boils over. Which was ironic because we talked the whole week we started talking, even tho she would end up talking about tickling.

An ex of mine I could say I ended up having a tickle date with....I met her for a movie, we went somewhere to eat (Arby's I think) and she started to notice I was just looking around and invited me to tickle her. Good six months.

Speaking of tickle dates; http://coed.com/2012/06/27/tickle-date-gitchy-gitchy-goo/

 

[chicago]

berlinerbaer brought it up. I would assume its a date where....well you see how much you can make the other person laugh.

Lol people here don't exactly "reach out", so here I wouldn't expect to meet ppl. I had one tickle date from ok Cupid (the girl in question was almost as into it as I was and lured me out to meet her), but the hotter the fire the faster the water boils over. Which was ironic because we talked the whole week we started talking, even tho she would end up talking about tickling.

An ex of mine I could say I ended up having a tickle date with....I met her for a movie, we went somewhere to eat (Arby's I think) and she started to notice I was just looking around and invited me to tickle her. Good six months.

Speaking of tickle dates; http://coed.com/2012/06/27/tickle-date-gitchy-gitchy-goo/

Again, tickle date is very vague. In my mind, I envision two people meeting up strictly for tickling and/or sex, without taking time to get to know one another very much. That's much different than trying to find a partner who shares a common interest. I imagine each person may define "tickle date" differently.

I've met lots of people from here, so to me it's very natural. People don't "reach out" but they do interact through the various sections of the forums and chatrooms and that's typically how relationships form, friendship, play partners, or whathaveyou. I think a lot of people would like to meet someone from here, but want to be sure the connection is more than just tickling. I mean, the act tends to work better when two people have, at the very least, a level of comfort with one another. In order for a 'lee to allow someone to dominate them, the 'lee needs to be comfortable with being vulnerable and if there's going to be bondage, well you can't just trust any random person to render you immobile. I would guess that a 'ler would be more effective if the ler knew more about the 'lee and felt comfortable around them as well. I mean, I can only speak from my own feelings and experiences, but I am sure there are many that feel similar to the way I just described. I guess if a person is just looking for something casual, there is probably more frustration there because it is more risky and so that leads to more chances of a person flaking on a meet up, for instance. Maybe Fetlife or CraigsList is a better medium for that?

I also have a hard time finding that link to be serious. I mean, "don't use a goat on your date" is one of their tips....really? lol

 

[duderino84]

Again, tickle date is very vague. In my mind, I envision two people meeting up strictly for tickling and/or sex, without taking time to get to know one another very much. That's much different than trying to find a partner who shares a common interest. I imagine each person may define "tickle date" differently.

I've met lots of people from here, so to me it's very natural. People don't "reach out" but they do interact through the various sections of the forums and chatrooms and that's typically how relationships form, friendship, play partners, or whathaveyou. I think a lot of people would like to meet someone from here, but want to be sure the connection is more than just tickling. I mean, the act tends to work better when two people have, at the very least, a level of comfort with one another. In order for a 'lee to allow someone to dominate them, the 'lee needs to be comfortable with being vulnerable and if there's going to be bondage, well you can't just trust any random person to render you immobile. I would guess that a 'ler would be more effective if the ler knew more about the 'lee and felt comfortable around them as well. I mean, I can only speak from my own feelings and experiences, but I am sure there are many that feel similar to the way I just described. I guess if a person is just looking for something casual, there is probably more frustration there because it is more risky and so that leads to more chances of a person flaking on a meet up, for instance. Maybe Fetlife or CraigsList is a better medium for that?

I also have a hard time finding that link to be serious. I mean, "don't use a goat on your date" is one of their tips....really? lol

Tickle date? It's as simple as the two words that it's made from. I want to take a girl out and tickle her.

People generalize each other way too much IMO.
Lol so how serious should a link about tickling be?

 

[chicago]

Tickle date? It's as simple as the two words that it's made from. I want to take a girl out and tickle her.

People generalize each other way too much IMO.
Lol so how serious should a link about tickling be?

So, do that. Like I said, maybe Fetlife or CraigsList is better for that? People seem to complain that the personals section doesn't really work here or that people flake a lot.

 

[duderino84]

So, do that. Like I said, maybe Fetlife or CraigsList is better for that? People seem to complain that the personals section doesn't really work here or that people flake a lot.

At risk of sounding silly, how does fetlife work? I set up an account a few years ago but recently killed it off and started a new one as I didn't connect... is it group/forum driven?

 

[chicago]

At risk of sounding silly, how does fetlife work? I set up an account a few years ago but recently killed it off and started a new one as I didn't connect... is it group/forum driven?

It's kind of like a kinky version of facebook. Profiles, pictures, and there are groups and discussions but you can search for members via location too. It seems people use it a number of ways. To keep in touch with their online / long distant friends in the community, to find out about local events, or to find/meet up with people locally.

Hope this helps.

 

[duderino84]

It's kind of like a kinky version of facebook. Profiles, pictures, and there are groups and discussions but you can search for members via location too. It seems people use it a number of ways. To keep in touch with their online / long distant friends in the community, to find out about local events, or to find/meet up with people locally.

Hope this helps.

The whole "Facebook of fetishes" thing I've heard before, I have an account (gave it a second chance). The thing is I literally meant I have no clue how people network there. I made my profile, I filled out my fetishes, joined groups etc but after that it pretty much just sits there.

It seems like everyone there has their own sex character or whatever there. I'm just a dude lol, that's why this is my profile.

For the record Craigslist is kind of interesting but I find its girls that are way too antisocial/shy to mingle without some craziness or they're on plenty of fish. Lol

 

[TickVix]

let it be known right from the start (yes easier said than done...I know) but at least this way if she's not into it you can move on to the next one. Makes no sense to me to waste a few months dating someone to later discover that they aren't ok with being tickled.

 

[Roy]

Timing is key. And like a lot of things, you only learn how to do it from experience. Bring it up too soon, and you're going to look like a one-track-mind pervert. Wait too long and you risk falling for someone that is not open minded to trying it, or worse, can't even express their unwillingness to try it in a polite loving way. Things to remember are - having a tickling fetish, or any fetish (aside from some that most can agree are dangerous or illegal) is not as "bad" or "crazy" as some might believe. It only becomes a problem if one feels it is negatively affecting relationships they have or their sex life. And everyone gets rejected many times in life. "When to bring it up" is going to be different to each person and likely different for each relationship you have. It's not an easy conversation to have, but it gets easier the more you do it. Being ashamed about it can set up the conversation to be negative and perhaps is a sign that one needs to address their own feelings towards the subject of tickling before bringing another person into it.

This is excellent advice.

 

[duderino84]

let it be known right from the start (yes easier said than done...I know) but at least this way if she's not into it you can move on to the next one. Makes no sense to me to waste a few months dating someone to later discover that they aren't ok with being tickled.

Plus you might have to meet dozens who say they like it, but don't know their own physical sensitivity (rather common surprise) or are just trying (unsuccessfully) to be nice!

 

[Libertine]

Plus you might have to meet dozens who say they like it, but don't know their own physical sensitivity (rather common surprise) or are just trying (unsuccessfully) to be nice!

Just look upon it as sex and the difficulties will be self-explanatory.

The average guy isn't guaranteed the type of sex he wants when he wants it with the person he wants to have it with in the perfect location.

Paradise is a myth for a reason.

With that in mind, keep trying and recognize there will always be a gap between the fantasy and the reality-

and that goes for the girl's perception of the encounter too.

 

[duderino84]

Just look upon it as sex and the difficulties will be self-explanatory.

The average guy isn't guaranteed the type of sex he wants when he wants it with the person he wants to have it with in the perfect location.

Paradise is a myth for a reason.

With that in mind, keep trying and recognize there will always be a gap between the fantasy and the reality-

and that goes for the girl's viewpoint of the encounter too.

Look I recognize it's a sexual fetish but really it comes down to a tickler's touch (as I call it, not being a meathead) and the ticklee's tolerances. I don't look at it as sex.

 

[dvnc]

Do note that there's two perspectives in that. How you look at it, and how she looks at it, WILL be different. I'm certain you've the potential to navigate. I pass this your way so the effort is less frustration.

Oh, and finding munches, socially meeting people, even if only to establish yourself as a person that can be safely met in public without offense, has a value. I've dated several from this forum, but all were through gatherings or munches save a few.

Tickler's touch. I like it.

 

[Myriads]

Look I recognize it's a sexual fetish but really it comes down to a tickler's touch (as I call it, not being a meathead) and the ticklee's tolerances. I don't look at it as sex.

You don't look at it as sex.

Does it arouse you? Because if it does, it's sexual. And if it's sexual, it's a form of sex.

Sex is a lot more then squishing some specific body parts together, and it's definition will shift with every individual and couple. It sounds as if you are trying to separate your paraphilia from your sexuality by denying that it's sexual.

Myriads

 

[duderino84]

You don't look at it as sex.

Does it arouse you? Because if it does, it's sexual. And if it's sexual, it's a form of sex.

Sex is a lot more then squishing some specific body parts together, and it's definition will shift with every individual and couple. It sounds as if you are trying to separate your paraphilia from your sexuality by denying that it's sexual.

Myriads

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I guess I do it primarily to arouse myself, yes, but I feel like it's more the way of things for me. I would say I'm true to my fetish because as I've said in the past, my mind doesn't just default to tits/ass fantasy thoughts. Tickling/hair/at most oral is what I think about.

My uh,... "experiences" in sex really haven't yielded any great results.

I'm not trying to separate, but I'm going to say there is a clear nexus of events if I tickle some girl and she wants to blow me. That's where to me if nothing happens aside from me tickling someone, my actions are just that. Tickling. If she out I become wet from it, it's still only tickling to me. That response is just a psychological link of arousal in apprehension to the actions that may come next.

 

[berlinerbaer]

Ok do tickle dates happen or not?

The answer is unambiguous and short: Yes.

Now, I am in the lucky situation that i am attracted to men, and that in the all male world I believe finding a tickle date is easier than for you straight guys, in a similar way as it is easier to find a "regular" sex date. I would guess that I have had around 40-50 tickle dates in the last 12-15 years, plus I have attended about a dozen explicitly tickle-related parties, and another two dozen foot-related parties where usually tickling was at least a side activity or I would make sure it would.

That sounds like a lot in the sum, but it's only a few per year, and is accompanied by lots of conversations that proponents of half empty glasses might consider frustrating, where people pretend, flake, lie, chicken out, or whatever. Most people, even when "only" looking for a tickle date, want at least a little bit of personal attraction, they want to feel comfortable with you as a person. I would guess that this point is way more important for a woman meeting a man.

I think in your case I would stick with your "pervert" approach (or how did you call it?), if that's whjat you are up to. However, show some interest in the woman you are talking you, an interest beyond the ticklishness of her feet or sides. Try to convince her that you are worth meeting besides the tickling, along with convincing her that you can tickle her just the way she likes it.

Look I recognize it's a sexual fetish but really it comes down to a tickler's touch (as I call it, not being a meathead) and the ticklee's tolerances. I don't look at it as sex.

Are you sure it's not some kind of sexual activity? Then why not find a guy, that should be much easier. :-o

 

[Myriads]

I'm not trying to separate, but I'm going to say there is a clear nexus of events if I tickle some girl and she wants to blow me. That's where to me if nothing happens aside from me tickling someone, my actions are just that. Tickling. If she out I become wet from it, it's still only tickling to me. That response is just a psychological link of arousal in apprehension to the actions that may come next.

I honestly couldn't parse what you mean here.

I think you said: I don't just focus on the traditional sex cues like boobs and asses, but tickling and hair also. But how I respond hinges upon how the woman acts in response to my tickling her. If she gets sexual I get more turned on. If not, then the tickling is just arousing, but does;t lead to me wanting more.

Did I read that correctly?

Myriads

 

[duderino84]

The answer is unambiguous and short: Yes.

Now, I am in the lucky situation that i am attracted to men, and that in the all male world I believe finding a tickle date is easier than for you straight guys, in a similar way as it is easier to find a "regular" sex date. I would guess that I have had around 40-50 tickle dates in the last 12-15 years, plus I have attended about a dozen explicitly tickle-related parties, and another two dozen foot-related parties where usually tickling was at least a side activity or I would make sure it would.

That sounds like a lot in the sum, but it's only a few per year, and is accompanied by lots of conversations that proponents of half empty glasses might consider frustrating, where people pretend, flake, lie, chicken out, or whatever. Most people, even when "only" looking for a tickle date, want at least a little bit of personal attraction, they want to feel comfortable with you as a person. I would guess that this point is way more important for a woman meeting a man.

I think in your case I would stick with your "pervert" approach (or how did you call it?), if that's whjat you are up to. However, show some interest in the woman you are talking you, an interest beyond the ticklishness of her feet or sides. Try to convince her that you are worth meeting besides the tickling, along with convincing her that you can tickle her just the way she likes it.



Are you sure it's not some kind of sexual activity? Then why not find a guy, that should be much easier. :-o

Ya, that sounds like a lot ...I've had alot of one and done dates, honestly. Ah .... attraction. Well, I'm no Jeff Bridges lol. (I probably look more like Dwight Shrute from "the office".)

Yea the pervert method gets me nowhere off the date. It's always Mr "Nice" .... This generation of women is big on this idea men are out to violate and pillage. Gotta admit, it's getting old and thinking about it makes it hard for me to abide to the positive thinking.

Ah .... gender preference. Yea, see, I like being the only one of two people with the potential to achieve a boner, and plus .... It's weird for two straight guys to tickle each other and call themselves straight. 😉

 

[duderino84]

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I guess I do it primarily to arouse myself, yes, but I feel like it's more the way of things for me. I would say I'm true to my fetish because as I've said in the past, my mind doesn't just default to tits/ass fantasy thoughts. Tickling/hair/at most oral is what I think about.

My uh,... "experiences" in sex really haven't yielded any great results.

I'm not trying to separate, but I'm going to say there is a clear nexus of events if I tickle some girl and she wants to blow me. That's where to me if nothing happens aside from me tickling someone, my actions are just that. Tickling. If she out I become wet from it, it's still only tickling to me. That response is just a psychological link of arousal in apprehension to the actions that may come next.

I honestly couldn't parse what you mean here.

I think you said: I don't just focus on the traditional sex cues like boobs and asses, but tickling and hair also. But how I respond hinges upon how the woman acts in response to my tickling her. If she gets sexual I get more turned on. If not, then the tickling is just arousing, but does;t lead to me wanting more.

Did I read that correctly?

Myriads

Let me try to clarify:

Boobs and asses come last if at all to me when looking at someone. I look at a woman from top to bottom when checking her out. If she gets turned on from me tickling her, I tickle more, honestly. If she tells me she wants to do something more sexual, fine. But I don't think much about it. If she doesn't want to, fine, I'll just tickle.

Aside from tickling, I don't really like making choices; I'll let the one I'm with decide where she wants to take it.

If she gets turned on, I only see that as an anticipation of what she asks next. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to have something more, like a girl giving me a hand job while I tickle her but it's rare I'd suggest it.